Month 12, 6 DPO, fed up and loosing hope

@Loops01 you're right of course. In such a bad mood during my period and taken these last few cycles especially hard as my period was 'late' and allowed myself to feel hopeful in the 2ww. It's good you're on the last of the opks, I won't be tracking anymore either. Interested to hear how your appt goes this week, I think if when I have mine they don't do anything I'll have a breakdown!

@HJen22 sorry forgot to reply. I am still in that low depressive state as no known issues and nothing. Appt is thus Fri coming. Part of me feels like saying can you please just let me try something for my sanity but I know they won't. It'll just be the ticky boxes as usual. Had more announcements too. Just had enough of the trying and it not working! Are you any further or more positive?

@suzy124 I feel you. Took the first opk this month. I let dh decide when he wanted to start the last of the opks and I just leave the test with him to scan. I'm cd10. I cba either but just got to keep going! You can do it! I don't feel like it'll happen and have no reason to think that other than the feeling but I guess it has to happen at some point...! Just gotta keep going!

Hey all, hope everyone is well. CD2 for me and don't even know if I'll bother trying this month. So so fed up.

@Amy259 that's great that you've found a solution, gonna have to try something similar in future though I still think it will be impossible for us. Usually I'm waiting for the goods over an hour.

@HJen22 was your hycosy this week?

Xx

@Lynne425 great news. Mine was the same - thick lining, no abnormalities, ovulation confirmed. She was an NHS gynae consultant so it was a really great chance to ask all my questions too, which was lovely. She was brilliant.

She advised if she was me she would pay privately to have a HyCoSy done. She said it’s the last/only thing she would pay for if we wanted to try naturally and not rush into assisted, as we will then have pretty much ruled everything (except unexplained) out. So we’re looking £500 plus consult fee for that, if we choose to do it.

@HJen22 thank you for asking 🥰

@Lynne425 that's great news, really happy to hear that and glad that it has put your mind at ease! Did you mention to them what you thought you might have?

@Amy259 I hope your scan also went well 🥰

Hey All

Just had my private scan and pleased to say it showed no abnormalities and confirmed ovulation

To me it was money well spent to put my mind at ease.

So now 4dpo and in TWW now to keep my mind busy for the next 10 days xx

@Loops01 how are you? Yeah my friend actually suggested the guy at North Deeside, I hummed and hayed a bit cos I've spent so much on other things already! I might after this appointment though! When I googled the other day a few came up I'd not heard of so will do some research!

Yeah seemed that more of the private options were down Glasgow way doesn't it! First call with the fertility clinic? The Dr I spoke to was lovely! So I hope you get the same one!

I am fed up too, not even tracking this month with temps or OPKs and it's not fun knowing I'm probably in fertile week but can't DTD until after my appointment. I just want it over and done with now and I'm so scared of the results! I'm also worried I'm going to feel faint, I'm a bit squeamish!!

I hope you're having a nice weekend! Been up to much? Xx

@HJen22 I got to acupuncture on Holburn Street but apparently there is a guy that does fertility on North Deeside Road but not too sure. Nothing specialised up here like you say. Same as private tests. I had to go to Dundee for a fertility scan.

Got my first zoom appt not this Thurs but next. Not really looking forward to it. Wouldn't mind getting the tube scan thing but otherwise mainly just fed up of it all!

I struggled looking at private stuff. It seems that here it's either all or nothing. Like you can't just pay for part of something whereas other places you can. I also think that you lose your NHS place if you choose to go private but you can get put back on the list but who knows haha

How are things going for you anyway?

@Amy259 yeah definitely worth an ask! That just seems like a crazy waiting time to even be seen! We waited about 3 months for our first call and then another 3 months for my scan and HyCosy which is all going to be through NHS. I did ask about private but they said they didn't do it privately, and I couldn't see anywhere else in this area that would. I'd probably have had to go to Glasgow if I wanted to do those investigations private.

Oh she sounds amazing! I haven't been able to find a local one that specialises in fertility but I think I'll take another look! How often do you go? That's so nice that you can chat to her too!

Yeah I wasn't sure. On the Aberdeen fertility page it gives prices so I guess it is an option but I'd not want to sacrifice NHS funding. Really hoping it doesn't come to that so trying not to overthink it too much! Xx

@HJen22 that’s Glasgow Royal. My GP is in Glasgow but we’ve moved to Falkirk and I haven’t changed GP yet as the surgery here weren’t accepting new patients during lockdown… I imagine they would now, but I’m not sure if you can move during referral - my NHS region would change to Forth Valley so the hosp would change. Probably worth it because I doubt it would be longer than 2.5 years!! I’ll ask the GP on Monday and see what she thinks.

I love acupuncture, the woman I see is a fertility specialist so most women going to her are going through IVF - GCRM recommend her to their private patients. Which means I can also chat to her about what’s going on and she’s a knowledgeable ear and gives her opinion. It’s like therapy haha, so nice to talk to someone who knows exactly what I’m talking about too!

Is your appointment with a private fertility clinic? That’s such a reasonable price for scans and bloods at a clinic!

So I’ve asked this before - the NHS can’t legally turn you away if you meet all criteria even if you’ve paid for private testing, but apparently they will try to xx

@Amy259 ah yes sorry I remember now, you were told a crazy waiting time! Where are you that it's that long?! I'm Scotland too but North East. I totally understand and would be the same with wanting things done way sooner! My GP was the other way round, did day 2 bloods and partners SA then referred, and I'd have liked day 21 bloods to confirm ovulation. I didn't ask but I was unsure as to why they'd not have done them too! Why does it seem all GPs and areas are diffident?!

That's really good your acupuncturist can organise that! Hopefully the GP can do it but great to have that potentially too. How do you find acupuncture? I've thought about trying it!

Yeah it's the unknown isn't it. I'm now freaking about finding out about tubes and egg reserve with this appointment on Thursday 🙈 nothing about the TTC journey is simple is it, but it will all be worth it in the end 🥰 I've been thinking about going private if I do need any assistance; but unsure how that effects NHS funding should you need it later! Xx

@HJen22 so I’m in cycle 13, with one chemical in cycle 2, so pretty much a year of nothing since.

I’ve had my progesterone bloods and DH has had SA (both grand) but my GP is weirdly not keen to do my day 2/3 bloods as she said gynae will do it.. so she’s referred me to gynae for HSG etc but I called the hosp and the waiting list is a year then another 3-4 months for HSG, then the fertility referral is currently sitting at 10+ months. So that means the current NHS Scotland estimation is 2.5-3 years before we even SEE a fertility doctor! I get they’re overwhelmed, and hopefully we’d fall naturally before then, but mentally that’s so tough.

So I’ve got a scan at just a sonography clinic (like early baby scans etc) on Sunday and a phone call with the GP on Monday to feedback the waiting time the hosp told me and ask again about bloods/what I need to do privately to just be referred straight to fertility. Then my acupuncturist is also a phlebotomist so she’s offered to take blood to be sent privately for a full hormone screen on day 2/3 (£79) if GP still says no.

I’m keen to try naturally, I’m not in a hurry for assisted conception (yet!), but it’s annoying me how long I’d need to wait for even just diagnostics. I just want to know if I’m wasting my time thinking it’s still going to happen naturally when really I’ve got blocked tubes or something!

@suzy124 yeah my mum and dad know, I had told my sister about 6 months into trying then told my parents just when it got to the year mark. They have been great and super supportive 🥰

Yeah I agree, I don't think I'm going to bother tracking anymore, I think I'll just try and DTD every second day when AF ends until we can, even if it's just the first 2 weeks.

Ah I see, so you're waiting for your gynae appointment? Hopefully they will have some more information for you regarding the SA results.

Happy holidays back home, I really hope you have the best time and it takes your mind off things, can't wait to hear all about it! X

@Amy259 that's good you've got an appointment on Sunday too! I hope all comes back ok! Remind me, Are you awaiting an appointment with the fertility clinic after your bloods and SA? X

@suzy124 has not tracking made you less obsessive in the tww? I definitely feel way less consumed by it this month, and can only think it’s down to not kicking off the stressing by peeing on sticks all the time. What will you do about testing as your tww goes on..? Will you just wait and see if af comes?

The one time we did SI I felt really weird, it’s so much better than not trying at all but I definitely agree it feels really clinical. Haha my secret is probably a fairly obvious one so I’m betting you’ll have tried it.. (and apologies for the tmi everyone!) but basically DH lies there and I head under the covers and get him to the point of almost there then hop on 😂 thankfully I thoroughly enjoy it, and it works. He’s also mastered the art of flipping us at the end from me on top to him on top without breaking seal, whilst going on about gravity, which is all very hilarious and light hearted! A bit difference from us both feeling hopeless a few months ago.

@HJen22 aw that sounds so nice and relaxing, and I totally get the emotion of it all. Does your mum know you're ttc? That's great that it's been a little easier for you this month and I highly recommend not tracking from now on, esp with what you have coming up next week!

Thing is we haven't spoken to a Dr about it. We just got the results from the clinic who noted the antibodies were raised but still within limits. Not v reassuring. Our first appointment is with a gynae at the hospital, I think the clinic just deals with if you are referred for treatment and obv the initial SA.

I go tomorrow! Thank you, hoping it will be just what I need too ❤️

@Amy259 me either! If I tried really hard I could probably work out what day I was but for now happy to be a bit oblivious.

Wow that's amazing, please tell me your secret! 😂 only ever SI for us and just so fed up how clinical it is now. Doesn't feel like we're trying to make a person 😕 Yep just every other day for about ten days I think

Hi @Amy259

Looks like we both have our private scans on Sunday!!

Depends what the outcome is whether or not I'll go back to my GP.

If it is I have asherman syndrome I'm gonna go private and get the treatment/surgery that way as I know it'll be done quicker than waiting on nhs.

If it's something that antibiotics etc can sort then they will refer me back to gp

Hopefully if it's all clear then no need to go to the GP again, and just try and chill out more and DTD every other day lol xx

@xoJellyBean yesss we must be around the same, we can go through the torture together 😂 I think af will be due next weekend for me.

@HJen22 I’m okay thank you! Yeah I bet, but fingers crossed all is okay and it’s one less thing to score off the list of wonders/stresses! I’ve got a private scan on Sunday (not fertility clinic, just a sonographer) and I’m looking forward to them even finding nothing just to rule a lining issue out.

@Lynne425 that’s so rubbish! My GP has been pretty similar, not hugely pro-active. If your scans/tests find anything will you call back and see what the GP has to say?

@suzy124 it’s so lovely! I’m day 21 and was pleasantly surprised to just discover that I had to count that back rather than just knowing - I never thought I’d be able to not obsess about it 😂 no we didn’t, we managed to dtd every other day plus a random extra day without problem. We seems to have finally found a performance-anxiety-proof way of dtd naturally, and I think having a potential back up chills him out more too. Did you just SI every other day around fw?

@suzy124 thank you, it was great. Lots of lovely time with my nephews, parks and swimming and putting them to bed reading a book and singing, got me emotional one night and I cried when we were leaving and I thanked my Mum telling her it was just what I needed. I'd hoped so too but wasn't meant to be, I've taken it a little better this month and won't be tracking so maybe that's a good thing! Yeah I just want it over and done with now.

Oh I know, reading online and google always scares us but try and not look into it too much if the Dr didn't seem too concerned? I thought your trip must be soon, that will be lovely! When do you go and what do you have planned? I hope you have the best time and lots of great catch ups ❤️

@Amy259 glad you're getting on good not tracking, I think a month or two off is what I need too. I hope it's been a more relaxing month for you!

@Lynne425 that's so unfair and after suffering a miscarriage you should still have access to the same NHS tests. I'm so sorry, issues like these just aren't what you need in top of how hard it is already! I hope everything comes back ok for you xxx

@Loops01 makes sense. I've just resigned myself too, I'll keep taking a prenatal but other than that probs nothing. Hope you and your OH can have timings match up next month?

@HJen22 lovely to hear from you and so glad you had a fab hol. What did you get up to? I was hoping it would be just what you needed so I'm really sorry AF appeared. Hope your being extra nice to yourself and enjoy a glass of wine or two ❤️ I know it must be scary thinking about the hycosy results but just remember that even if there is something wrong, it's better to know sooner so they can sort it

And thank you, I was mostly relieved about the SA, but the antibodies now have me worried after doing some reading. I'm just about to go on my trip home for a couple weeks which feels bittersweet because I thought the next time I visited I'd have some exciting news

@Amy259 not tracking has been great hasn't it? Think I'll keep it up. I'm day 20something but don't know exactly and not checking the apps either! Did you SI this month?

@Lynne425 that's just awful! So unfair that it resets the clock especially after something so traumatic. It's not like we have all the time in the world either. Wishing you all the best for your private scans

Xx

@HJen22 she said it's because the miscarriage is counted as a pregnancy therefore it resets the timer as such so wouldn't do any testing for a year since my surgery!

Also because I have a 2yo son and had a miscarriage - they don't see me as having any fertility problems!!

The scans & tests this weekend is costing £150 so not too bad!! Be money well spent to give me answers good or bad!!

I'll be on CD16 on Sunday and I've got my peak ovulation this morning so should be 3/4 dpo then xx

@Lynne425 I'm so sorry that you've had such a terrible experience with your GP! I would be very disappointed and angry at that response too, they should definitely be doing some tests if you have been TTC for a year!! Did she say why they wouldn't?!

Glad you've found somewhere that can do them privately so quickly and I hope at not too expensive a cost! Really unfair you've been forced to do that though! I hope it all comes back ok! Tests are daunting but a step in the right direction xxx

Hey All

Hope your all good - update from me, finally got my gp appointment and basically got told they'll not do anything/tests etc until March 2022. To not think about it and go and have fun - I nearly told her where to go - was soo angry!! Surely TTC for a year (not including a miscarriage) some sort of tests would be available!!

However came home and looked online and found a private clinic locally that does fertility tests and scans and booked into there for Sunday!! She was shocked at GP response!!

I have googled/researched and think I could have something called Asherman Syndrome and would like to find out sooner than later if I do.

Hopefully I go on Sunday and everything is ok tho - If not I've already looked at going private for any treatment!! Honestly fed up with the NHS this year as I feel they have failed me xx

@xoJellyBean thank you, will keep you updated! Just want it over with now!

@Amy259 a bit anxious more of the results than the actual procedures, trying not to think too much about it! How are you doing?

No temping or OPKs this month for me seeing as can't BD till after my appointment. If we can will just try and do it after but may miss ovulation. But I think I'd rather just not know I was missing it and hope it will maybe be later this month!

How is everyone else getting on? Xxx

@Amy259 did my temp this morning and it's confirmed ovulation was 4 days ago now! No idea what's going on 🤣 ours is around the same then!