Month 12, 6 DPO, fed up and loosing hope

@Loops01 I hate when they say “just keep trying”! What else do you think I’m doing?! 😂 hopefully you don’t have too long to wait for your hycosy letter and can crack on with that. Does it feel better to have actually spoken to someone about it all?

Is your 2 year mark around June next year? That’s when mine is. I’m really hopeful they don’t make me do a hycosy again!

@Amy259 😂 premier Inn quality too 😂. But no it'll be nice!

Just had appt. It was fine. @HJen22 I had Holt-Kentwell? Not sure if same one or not. She basically said no issues with all our tests so far. They no longer do day 21 bloods unless there is no known cycle. I have sent on my scan pics but she isn't worried tubes or follicle wise from history but we will get a letter for the hycosy through within 3 months and then we will call to book which may be a bit longer. They only do them on a Thursday and we aren't meant to try that month and needs to be after the bleed so I'm hoping I can time it well but 🤷🏼‍♀️. Otherwise if all fine it's wait until the 2 Yr mark and then we will go to ivf. So that will be 2023 at the earliest I think with all the waits. Not much else really. Just keep doing what we are doing! Get fed up doing it these days! Gone are the fun days 😂

@Loops01 that’s great timing - hotel dtd will be a nice change of scenery for you 😂

@suzy124 sorry you’re still feeling rubbish, remember we’re always here for a rant. No doesn’t reset so it turns out today is day 4 - freedom comes next Friday haha.

@suzy124 feel free to be a downer to me as I feel ya! Just waiting for the call now and I'll update soon

Hi ladies, still feeling really low but don't want to be a downer so I'll keep it brief until I have some actual news!

@Loops01 wishing you all the best for your fertility appt today, really hope it'll be positive news and they will help you. Be insistent! Also let us know how it goes!
@HJen22 sorry you couldn't go paddleboarding lovely but hope you had a nice dinner and enjoy the remaining days with SD!
@Amy259 oh no that's awful! Really hope he won't get any worse and you manage to stay free of it too. Does this reset the day count for isolation? Hope not!

Xx

@Amy259 I know you need something positive to keep you going and holiday would have been the ideal thing. We were looking at going away in Feb but not sure if we will now. Just want something to look forward to! We are off to Edinburgh on Tues for a night. Just to enjoy time off together and try to chill. It'll be fw time still then so I guess it'll help to be relaxed and happy!

@HJen22 ahh I love ragdolls 🥰 our wee one is the same, allowed out in the garden with the dogs but not alone or when we’re not here. And I’ve definitely accidentally locked her out before too 😂

That’s DH’s PCR confirmed him as positive (not sure if I told you that already?) so he’s locked away now until next Friday. A long week ahead! He’s coughing away today, feels generally flu-like but nothing too wild. Fingers crossed that’ll be it for him and he’ll be on the mend soon.

I will lose my shit if she brings in more restrictions again and we can’t travel in September 😂 I don’t think I will cope if I’m honest haha.

I didn't get notification of all these updates so just caught up!

@Amy259 I'm sorted with you but still loving the furbabies pictures!!

@suzy124 how are you feeling now? Feel crap if you want just try not to get yourself too down. I've been pretty bad recently and like @HJen22 I've put on like half a stone with eating and drinking crap just to feel better. Need to stop it and get back but it's difficult to get out of the slump.

It is crazy how different things are everywhere in Scotland and again in England. I don't see why everyone can't do roughly the same thing and keep it fair.

@HJen22 glad you're feeling a bit better. If you find a secret to losing weight quick please let me know haha. 6 follicles is good! At least you have what's needed for ivf. Keep us posted as the months will fly by. You're looking at dec/2022 so I think that will be a difficult but potentially really exciting start to 2022.

I've got my first zoom appt today but I am starting to worry about the thought of a circuit breaker etc. I've still not had second vaccine but will get it after this cycle or next.

Nothing more to report from me really but it was nice going from page 11 til here catching up on everyone. So much support and just being there for each other is heart-warming to read. Just sorry I missed thread a bit.

@Amy259 yes he's a ragdoll 😻 he's super docile. Used to live in a flat in the centre of town so had to be a house cat. He roams about how we've a house and a garden but I don't leave him outside if we're out or anything. Although the other day he accidentally spent the night outside, I felt awful the next day and so sad he'd been outside all night when he wasn't used to it 😂🙈 he was totally fine of course haha.

Aw that's so sad. Your poor husband losing his little best pal. That's so lovely you've got a picture and he looks at it, I'm sure remembering fond memories 💞

Haha our dog definitely isn't scared of kids, she doesn't seem to understand they are small though and she can knock them over. So still a bit excitable. Panics me when we've her off the lead and I see kids! The cat is a bit timid of little people though but getting better. How is your DH coping?

I just heard on the radio about possible restrictions in Scotland I really hope not. That's the last thing I need; delays in appointments when I think they are finally getting back on track at hospitals etc! Xx

@HJen22 oh look 😍😍 is he a ragdoll? They’re both so gorgeous! Our pair are well used to a boo to the nose haha. The younger one has a tiny grey mark on her black nose where she got too brave as a tiny puppy - she was scared of the other cat from that day onwards haha, wouldn’t even walk by her!

It was really tough, we found a lump in November and she was gone by the Feb. My husband was hit really hard as he’d never had pets before our 4, and she was his little best pal. It’s still very said! I drew a picture of her and it’s framed in our living room and sometimes I find him just standing looking at it, bless him!

It’ll be so good for her having them visit too! Our wee one is scared of kids, keeps her distance unless I tell her to come close, so it’s so good your pup is growing up around them!

Not sure if I posted the pic wrong haha but if you click on it you'll get the whole puppy's head haha and not just her wee "please be my friend" face 😂

@Amy259 Awwww love the photo 🥰 and I'm so sorry to hear you lost your other beloved cat in February. They really are part of the family so that must have been so hard!

Yeah puppy will sit and just want to be best the cat, he tolerates it but then runs away and she chases him, sometimes with the poor cats head in her mouth 😂 but he doesn't hiss at her, just likes to as you say show the puppy who's boss, she often gets a bop to the nose. But he hasn't ran away when he's been out in the garden so he can't hate her that much!

I know bless, she just thinks it's a game! The boys love her just a little unsure as she's very bouncy and they don't have a dog. My friends kids who have a dog don't bat an eyelid at her jumping and licking haha! It's all very comedic having pets!

@HJen22 that’s so funny, we have an 8 year old indoor cat! She loves the dogs, follows them around and headbumps them, but they never cuddle. I think if we had the dogs first, she definitely would’ve snuggled in as a kitten.

We lost our other cat in Feb, she was 8 too but never grew to like the dogs. She tolerated them fine and would be around them, but when they walked by sometimes she randomly swiped them - I think she just liked to keep them in check and remind them who was boss 😂

Yeah that’s hard, puppies will chase anything that moves won’t they haha. Your nephew and him will be the best of friends as they grow up 🥰🥰

@suzy124 oh I'm so sorry, they are the worst and also ruin my day! So you definitely aren't the only one! Sometimes when I'm really down I feel like the only time to not be sad or thinking about it is when i'm asleep, then our dreams go and play cruel tricks on us 😔 Are you still visiting back home? Sadly our paddleboarding has been cancelled, the conditions aren't good enough today! And we don't have time to reschedule as my BF takes SD home Saturday! So we'll need to think of something else fun to do! I hope you enjoy it and you can let me know how it is 😊

@Amy259 awww they ate absolutely adorable! Love them! Gorgeous girls! And they sound like such fun wee characters! I can relate to the puppy haha our one is still mad as a hatter but getting good off the lead and a bit less jumpy on people haha when my nephew runs she chases him thinking it's a game and then ends up knocking him over 😂 bless how do you tell a 3 year old not to run or be scared when she's a big puppy! They really bring lots of love and fun into a home though don't they 🥰 best thing we decided! We have a 7 year old indoor cat too who deals well with her to be fair, my hopes for them to sit and cuddle hadn't quite happened yet but I think it will when the pup calms down 🤞🏻

@suzy124 oh 100%! Sometimes they’re so so real then I wake up and it just drives home everything I’m missing. Once I dreamt about telling my parents and I woke up in tears, because I know how much they want it too. So hard!

Thank you, I’m extremely biased but they are good pups 🥰 xx

Thank you @Amy259 glad I'm not alone in feeling that I lose an entire day over them. What gorgeous dogs! And such a lovely photo 🥰 xx

@HJen22

@HJen22 yeah we’ve both had our 2nd jag but only last week, so if he tests positive we both have to isolate for 10 days.

We have two female golden retrievers, one is 7 and the other is 2. Absolute chalk and cheese! The golden one is the older one, she’s my sidekick - absolute shadow, steady as a rock, never need a lead etc, just a solid, reliable dog. My “take anywhere” dog - she’s a therapet and a puppy trainer. The younger one is a forever puppy 😂 still wouldn’t stray and is a great dog etc, but bounds around the place like she’s 6 months old! She’s brought a lot of laughter into the house xxx

@suzy124 aww that’s the worst! I’m so sorry you’re feeling like that, pregnancy dreams completely ruin my day. Sending you lots of love xxx

Morning ladies. Woke up from another 'being pregnant' dream, needless to say it felt very real and hurting a lot today.

Just popping on to say I hope you have a fab evening paddleboarding @HJen22 I'm hoping to try it this weekend. Let us know how it goes! And @Amy259 I hope you guys continue to test negative and stay safe xx

@Amy259 so mad! I think they do it to stop us googling 😂 but as soon as the Dr told me it was slightly high I started anyway!

Ugh that's so rubbish, an extra day added on! Have you had your second vaccine? Does your OH just need to keep testing or it has to be 10 days either way?

Aw that's sad you can't see your Dad on his special day, I'm sorry 😞 and the fact that you should have been on a ferry. What a rubbish day for you, but you'll get away and it will be amazing when the time comes ❤️

Great you have the dogs for walks and company, what kind do you have? We got a German Shepherd puppy in March and she really has been a wee saviour in making things that little bit easier, having her to look after and cuddle. Albeit she still loves a chew on my hands and feet 😂😂😂

@HJen22 it’s mad they don’t tell you the numbers isn’t it? Same with every test we’ve had, I’ve had to specifically ask to be sent/told the results.

I’m rubbish on my own too, I hate it! Isolation day 0 is the day of contact apparently, so it’s 10 days after that (so 11 days really, they don’t tell you that!!) meaning today would be day 2 if he’s positive.

Paddle boarding and dinner sounds brilliant! A great pick-me-up. I’m okay thanks, it’s my dads 73rd birthday today so I’m a bit gutted we can’t see him, and we should’ve been getting on our first ferry tonight for the holiday, so tbh I’m looking forward to it being tomorrow 😂 out with the dogs just now, we live in the country so never see anyone so at least if he’s positive I’ll still be walking the girls instead of being locked in 24/7!

@Amy259 yeah I'd have liked it to have confirmed ovulation but they didn't offer and I didn't want to ask haha. My FSH was 10.6 I think it was, or maybe 10.3, over 10 anyway! I didn't actually find this out from the GP. They said everything fine, it was only on my call with the Dr at the clinic she mentioned it and then it had the figure on the letter following my first call.

Oh yeah I've seen people talking about that one too! I'll need to have a listen. I also have Izzy Judd's downloaded, I read her book which was really good.

Oh no your poor DH. I really hope it comes back negative! I can imagine that's so hard 😞 I'd hate it; I'm not all that good in my own company!

Yeah just way too much to think about just now and sometimes the more you read the scarier it is, and everyone is different so it's hard to know what to expect until I know the exact plan tailored for us.

We have paddleboarding and a meal out tonight so that will be good to take my mind off things and I've woken up feeling a little more positive so that's good! How are you feeling? Xx

@HJen22 hmm yeah I think they give you progesterone supplements during ivf so maybe it doesn’t matter if you have enough naturally? I’m not sure. Obviously it confirms ovulation so I think my gp did it just to make sure that was definitely happening. What was your FSH?

DH has a sore head this morning 🙈 so his pcr may be positive - we’ll see! Still staying up in one of the bedrooms and I’m just leaving food etc at the door, so hard already.

It’s called BFN, two journalist friends from London going through infertility - it’s funny and so relatable. Would recommend going back to the start, they have both had successful ivfs now but at the start you hear them go through it all and one learn she needs ivf.

Yeah too much too soon. It really is a lot to process and it is scary. But yeah that podcast really breaks it down and is honest about scary bits but obviously they both now have babies so there are happy endings xxx

@Amy259 I'm the other way round, I've not had my day 21 bloods done or my thyroid as far as I'm aware! I had bloods done a while back to check for PCOS (because my sister was diagnosed with that) but they all came back ok as far as I was told. Why don't they all do it the same. Very bizarre isn't it! I was going to ask them to do day21 but then didn't think there was much point after the IVF referral?!

Yeah I was a bit crampy afterwards too, I hope it passes for you really soon! Plenty rest! How is your OH getting on?

Ooh what podcast have you been listening to? I'm listening to one called I've IVF this that's good.

Yeah she really means well but I don't want pushed into it yet. I've barley had a chance to speak to my BF about it and he's not yet told his parents which he's going to do when his daughter goes home. So in the nicest possible way I don't want to speak face to face to a stranger about it yet before they know.

I know, I was having doubts about how I felt about it, I even started asking my BF what he thought about it ethically, it was so much to go through physically and mentally etc and what if it didn't work. It's just a very scary thought and not something you think you're going to have to go through, even when you think the worst when TTC. Xxx

@HJen22 so weird, my lady must’ve been mistaken. Glasgow gynae have said to both me and my GP that I don’t need day 2/3 bloods, so my FSH hasn’t been checked (this is another thing I may do privately if the consultant on the calls confirms they won’t do them). Only my thyroid and progesterone have been done.

They should hopefully accept the hycosy because I honestly don’t think I can do it again. I’m still getting waves of cramps from it!

Aww that’s so kind of her, but I totally get why I would be a bit soon, still so raw. The podcasts I’ve listened to have been quite ivf focused (and successful!) which has kind of help shift my head from being quite set on trying naturally to being more open if someone eventually suggests it. I’m sure in another 6 months I’ll be banging the door down for ivf 😂 but I get that you’re maybe still grieving things like the surprise element for OH, family etc, and worrying about what your body might go through? I definitely would be, but soon I’m sure you’ll focus more on the amazing end result. And good to know someone is there for a chat when you feel ready ♥️