Month 12, 6 DPO, fed up and loosing hope

Definitely didn’t mean to include the photo of me - not sure you all needed my selfie, but there you go! 😂😂

@suzy124 absolutely stunning - I already want to do back! We found this totally secluded beach yesterday, I’ll add photos, and I didn’t want to leave. Back to reality with a load of work emails today!

DH was like that too, very sensitive to it and it ended up in a few arguments back then. He’s so much better now though, we had good chats about it and since then he’s much better at navigating it all. I found it really unfair and hurtful that I would tiptoe around it and be the one all anxious about how we were going to try that month, while he was oblivious. When I managed to explain that he felt really bad and has been great since. Does your OH just shut down when you try to have an argument-free chat about it?

@HJen22 haha god love you, you definitely deserved a good break after the news though. And yeah, 4-6 months isn’t long at all in the grand scheme of ttc and moving forward!

Xxx

@HJen22 I think just at Christmas at this point, might try to get back for a weekend in between but they're always over in a flash! Re the call I'm not sure, I had an internal in January and it was one of the requirements for this phonecall (along with bloods, SA etc). I'm also on a waitlist for laparoscopy which would check my tubes are open anyway, however if they offer a hycosy quicker I'll take it!

Oh I see. Do you send it off then or are the results instant? Sorry I have no idea haha. And I totally get it, you want to know you're doing everything you can and no regrets kinda thing. I'm so glad your counselling call is soon, I really hope it helps and it'll be great to talk to someone professional. Just get it all out with them!

Oh same with me, I drink up to 3L water a day along with ginger tea, green tea and mint tea. I pee all day long lol 😂

Xx

@Amy259 that sounds SO lovely! Glad you had a great time, and great weather!! It's just so nice to get away isn't it!

To be honest nope, after I had the bad news I just really wasn't in the mood or feeling very good in myself, we DTD once after I had stopped spotting and I cried hahahaha so that probably scared by OH off and I think I just needed the break.

@suzy124 I am so glad you had a nice trip! Will you be back over again at Christmas or before then? Ah that's not long to wait for the call! That's the first step and I think you will feel a bit better when you have spoken to them and they will I'm sure refer you for an internal and hycosy!

Yeah so I had to do an at home blood test thing the other day (pricking my finger) and that's for a full lifestyle check like omega 3, thyroid, b12, vitamin D, folate etc and then I am waiting for another to arrive that is a hormonal one! It was way more expensive but given the news/worry I have about my eggs I want to try anything I can to give those I have a good chance!! I have my counselling on the 24th September and then I am still waiting for a date for my follow up appointment - assuming there is quite a wait for that too! So hopefully not too long!

My energy levels seem ok so far, I am trying to just eat plenty of healthy foods and good fats so I'm def not starving! And i am drinking lots of water and green tea! So lots of toilet trips haha!

@User1400 yeah 4-6 months in the grand scheme of things given how long we have been trying, isn't that long! Although I am really hoping covid doesn't mess anything up between now and then! Think appointments are only just getting back to normal!!

Oh no you def aren't alone with DTD and trying to keep the spark! It's a lot when the Drs tell you every 2nd day! We tend to try and do it as soon as AF goes, through FW and then we get knackered and it really does become you are just doing it because we have to! It's a real struggle! I've also tried 5 days in a row which didn't work! I have no idea how people do it every 2 days for the whole way up to AF!! That's why i like to track so i know more or less if ovulation has passed! Although i also know we can't be 100% sure!

xxx

@Amy259 very nice! I'm sure the beaches are stunning 😍 and such a lovely treat after being locked up at home! We actually had a weekend planned to jersey last year but then covid had just hit. Hopefully will go someday!

Oh dear! I'm the same I wouldn't let a joke get in the way of making a baby either, but men just don't seem to understand the urgency and timing of these things! Glad it all worked out in the end though, and sounds like maybe for the better. My OH can't even talk about his issue, just gets annoyed like I'm attacking his manhood but obvs I'm thinking it's the reason we haven't conceived yet..

@User1400 Afraid I have no advice in that area 😂 we barely dtd now and we're ttc via self-insemination due to OH's psychosexual issue. For me it's not ideal, but I was on another thread about SI where a lot of people did it to take the pressure off dtd. Even though they didn't need to. Obvs I'd rather be having sex but depends how you feel about it really

Xx

@User1400 swooping in here with a great big no! You are most definitely not alone!

Other than a baby, the part I can’t wait for most is to regain our normal sex life - I’m worried it’ll be scarred for life!! DH is definitely more affected than me, I think it must be so hard for them not to sometimes feel like we only want them for a baby and not because we want to have sex with our partners? In the early months, even when I’d tell him it was the total wrong time of month for baby making, he still felt a bit like that.

We are the same, often we end up only dtd from around CD10/11 to CD18. At the start we struggled because DH got performance issues but now we’ve found a fool-proof method, and we both commit to every other day, no negotiating. I spent a fair few months in tears because I’d done all the tracking, planning etc then we didn’t or weren’t able to dtd, or I’d spend all day anxious he’d get home too tired or not vibing, so now it’s every other day for that week or so, no backsies 😂 means we always get a good go at it and I don’t spend my days worrying we’re not doing it enough.

Out with fw, we’ll probably have sex once at the weekend if at all, but rarely through the week. I think DH would be like that anyway though, he started a new job about 18 months ago and it really knackers him, then he gets home late and eats dinner etc so is always either too tired or too full to think about sex. Which is a shame because before all this we had a great (and frequent) time!

If we have an event like a holiday, weekend away, anniversary etc, we’ll have fun, long, normal times (tmi? 😂) but I think that’s also normal in a long term relationship too. Extra fun on special occasions!!

It’s not romantic during fw though, not at all. Maybe the first day that month, but by the 3rd it can definitely be hard to get going sometimes, if I’m honest! So I’m absolutely zero help at keeping the ttc spark alive, but I will say you’re not alone 😂

Am I alone in this xx

@Amy259 @suzy124 thanks for the welcome ladies, feel like I am in good company ❤️❤️.

@HJen22 given some of the horror HyCosy stories online, your experience is giving me some comfort! I can deal with a little pain/discomfort, I’ve read some stories of people fainting! I think I am building it up in my head, I hope I get my appointment soon.

4-6 months will fly in, that’s much quicker than I expected! So good to hear you have been offered counselling too, I have considered seeking counselling privately but it’s so expensive! I understand you keeping it from your friends, for me, it’s nice to have a couple of friends at arms length. It gives me a safe space to pop round for a cuppa and take my mind off TTC talk! I have a friend who is TTC 1 year and she seems completely unphased, it makes me feel even more isolated in a way. I am all consumed by TTC thoughts and when I try to relate to her, she’s so unbothered! It makes me feel like I am the only person descending into TTC madness😂.

I took 2 months off of tracking recently, hoping the ‘just relax’ advice would work. It did wonders for my mental health and managed to get through (most) of the month without any tears but alas, still no BFP.. now I am back to tracking and stressing myself out😭.

I hope this isn’t too personal (!!) how do you ladies find keeping the spark in DTD? My partner and I only DTD in the fertile window now, and even that is a struggle! We are both rarely in the mood and it’s gotten to the stage that we only DTD because we ‘have’ to. I have read posts of people saying they DTD every night, even every other night in the fertile window is too much for me!! I am alone in this 😭 xx

@HJen22 sorry think we crossposted! My trip home was lovely thanks, has just confirmed that I want to move back really to be near family. Just need that baby first now I'm in the system in England! So kinda stuck for the mo. My call is 22nd of this month eeek 🤞

You're doing so well and I love your motivation. Especially with the gym too! How are your energy levels with the diet? Of all the things to cut out I think gluten would be the hardest, bread is just so comforting haha. My BMI is fine but saw a photo of myself this morning (taken yesterday) and was like omg I need to lose weight lol. Have to weigh myself before the call too and dreading it.

Did you also say they were sending you for blood tests? I'm glad your OH is encouraging you, makes a huge difference doesn't it? It is tricky though when you have to make 2 different meals, I'm veggie and he's not so kinda used to it but it's still a pain!

When is your next appt and counselling call? Xx

@suzy124 we were in Jersey - I can’t recommend it enough! It was so beautiful, about 28 degrees and just stunning. We stayed in a farmhouse in the country and got buses into town and to the beach, ate lots of local seafood and even treated myself to an ice cold glass of rosé.

You’re so right - I used to say the exact same thing to DH, that if it was my issue I’d be doing absolutely everything to help. Thankfully we’ve sorted it now but there was hiccup on Sunday morning where I made a (very obvious!) joke about him now “just lying there” when we do baby making dtd, and he just totally shut down and was quite hurt by it because he thought he was doing great finding a way we can dtd without fail. And it is great, I was joking! But I didn’t think he’d still be as sensitive to it, so it was my fault for making the joke. I was frustrated though because it meant we didn’t dtd and it was an important day, so I was annoyed because I wouldn’t let a joke stop me trying to make a baby. It ended up with great sex that night though, which was even better timing because I think it was about 24-36 hrs before ov, and he definitely didn’t just lie there, so not all bad 😂

@HJen22 both were lovely thank you! The wedding was a nice excuse to get all dolled up, and the holiday was a dream. So glad you’re feeling good after your break, have you managed to have any fun bedroom times out with baby making? You’re right, it’s so hard, we’re guilty sometimes if we dtd 4-5 times around fw, it can be after af before it happens again - which I don’t like xx

@Amy259 ah sorry I must have been typing as you were and just noticed your message!

I hope you and DH had a wonderful time away, I bet you were so happy to be reunited after isolation!! And I am so glad to hear you had fun no-baby making sex, it can be rare at these stages can't it! I def needed the break this month, I was annoyed we couldn't before the appointment but I then really wasn't in the mood after it, so a break I hope has done us good! xx

@Amy259 Oooh lovely, where were you? Glad to hear it was a success 😉 I'm doing better than I was thanks, but still so fed up. It's tough cos when you're in the pits you think you'll always feel like that and when you're relatively stable you're dreading the emotions to come! Like I know it won't work this month but will still cry when AF arrives 🤷‍♀️ I actually did opk this month for a few days but only bc I didn't want to SI if it was totally pointless. I've told OH I want sex from now on and to try harder to get help for his issue. Like if it was a problem with me I'd be doing everything to try and sort it! My first call is 22nd so we're not far apart! Expecting to be underwhelmed though xx

@User1400 I am so glad that you have found us and feel better getting things off of your chest, i find it always helps me!

The HyCosy wasn't the worst, I have a low pain threshold i think, so the "cramp" like pains really got to me, I was doing quite a bit of oohing and ahhing, but I didn't stop so it wasn't SO bad that I couldn't go through with the whole procedure. I don't really suffer bad cramps with AF so it felt sore to me, but I am sure you will be fine. And it's over relatively quickly and the Dr was lovely and the Nurse held my hand. I get a bit squeemish and sometimes feel a bit faint with things like that haha drama queen, my fingers and hands went all weird and like stuck afterwards, i think from the tension ha i couldn't hold the water they gave me!

They said its about a 4-6 month waiting list, I am pretty sure it will be into the start of next year given Christmas is right in the middle of that. I have a counselling session this month which they provide for free which I hope will be good, as I am finding it quite hard to get my head around. I have avoided telling one friend who I had told we were trying and I had the hospital appointment, and another Ive not went into detail. Its hard cos when you say to a few friends you are TTC you dont then expect to have to tell them its IVF.

I am enjoying getting back into the gym, oh I know, its hard to find the energy when you are eating way less but after a few days i think our bodies get more used to it. I also find i have to really watch what i eat more so than exercise loads, sadly! I just find exercise helps me mentally and i dont want to eat rubbish as much if im going / just been to the gym! Walking is always good! I really enjoy classes at the gym where someone is telling me what to do rather than me wandering around the gym aimlessly haha!

@suzy124 hello lovely! How was the rest of your trip and journey home? I hope you had a great time away! And that's really good that you managed to TTC this month even when you didn't think so! As they say, just takes the once so fingers crossed!! When is your call again, its this month isnt it?

Haha well to be fair, I am currently googling how to make healthy sugar free tomato sauce and beans hahaha! You know what these people are like, I'm sure the Dr wouldn't say to, but it's worth a try. I know that with IVF the chances are low, and also mine are even lower given my low egg count already (I was sadly reminded of this in black and white the other day when my letter arrived of our appointment) so I really just want to give it my all in the hope it does some good! And no, my OH is quite a fussy eater haha so he can do his thing and I will do mine, we sorted a cupboard in the kitchen just for my healthy food, although he is being very supportive!

@Amy259 how was your trip to Jersey and your family wedding? I hope you had a lovely time!

xxx

Hello lovely ladies! Sorry I’ve been absent, been on holiday but I think I’m all caught up now.

@Loops01 I just discovered our thread closed too before I came on here.. I don’t know if it works if we try to tag AZ though? Maybe I should DM her to suggest she finds us?

@User1400 welcome - you’re in good company with the Aberdeen gang! I’m in Falkirk/Glasgow and have been ttc for 14 cycles now, one chemical exactly a year ago and nothing since. Had a hycosy last month, and all other routine tests that come before that - nothing so far wrong, and have a fertility call on 29th of this month. Always feel free to rant, celebrate, and anything else here ♥️

@HJen22 how are you doing? That new health regime sounds intense but I’m sure it’s great to feel pro-active. I go through phases, all our meals are freshly made and I would normally have weetabix, fruit, nuts etc for breakfast anyway and we stopped drinking ages ago, but I do enjoy a sweet treat!

@suzy124 how are you feeling? What date is your call again? I’m good thank you. Similar to you, we only dtd once when it really mattered I think this month (wasn’t tracking as on holiday) plus 3 days before that, so I’m not overly hopeful either, but I suppose it only takes once! And both times were very lovely, non-baby making type - actual sex just cause we wanted to!! - so I’m okay with it (ask me again in 2 weeks though 😂).

Hope you’re all well! Xxx

Hi ladies, just caught up. Not much from my end, didn’t think we would get to try this month cos of timings but ended up day of peak and day after. Can’t say I’m hopeful though since we didn’t get a chance in the run-up. Fertility call edging closer, depends what they say ofc but plan is to give it to the end of the year and then go private. Do not want to spend (waste) another year like this one! Just couldn’t go through it either, mentally I’m not strong enough.

@User1400 Hey, welcome! Am I the only one here not in Scotland 😂 Completely understand how you feel, been struggling myself with the unfairness of it all and sometimes all you can do is cry. I am a total wreck most of the time so don’t be afraid to lay it all out here - we all get it!

@HJen22 Christ that diet sounds tough! Did they really say cutting all that out would improve chances? You’re a stronger lady than I am, I eat pretty healthy just feel I need my treats to get through this! Is your OH getting into it too?

@Loops01 Good news about the role change! Does this mean more chances each month? I’m like you at this point, if it has to be IVF so be it but I’m terrified of it not working. Like it’s the last resort then what?

@Amy259 How are you doing? Also well done on getting through your week of isolation!

Xx

@Loops01 My cycles are roughly 27-33 days, one cycle was 38 days.. I was devastated when AF arrived and promised myself I would stop obsessively testing after that. My periods are regular but so short/light, I can’t find an answer online, my fertility doctor didn’t say much about it when I told her, so I don’t know if I’m one of the lucky ones or if it’s a concern! I just had to google vaginal steaming.. is it normal to think it looks super relaxing😂. I know what you mean about just wanting to find out what’s going on, I have mixed emotions about my HyCosy appointment coming through because I just want an answer, but then I get another wave of emotion about how I am going to handle all of this! Fingers crossed you get some luck and don’t have to reach HyCosy stage ☺️

Sorry to hear about your struggles with dh, I am definitely in the same boat here. My partner is so relaxed about the whole situation and thinks ‘it will just happen’, which gets me even more tense! That’s great your partner is getting involved with the tracking, a lot of the TTC burden does fall on us as women, which is probably why they don’t truly understand!

16 announcements, ffs! That is so tough. Has it been hard watching your SIL go through her pregnancy journey? At the minute I just want to avoid my best friend, which I know isn’t a solution. I feel like she has ‘over taken’ me, it hurts to think she is getting to experience this before me when I have been yearning for it for so long now. Rationally I know it’s not her fault and that it’s not a race, but the green-eyed monster keeps rearing it’s ugly head!

I am worried too about having IVF and it not working, I thought it was a ‘sure thing’ until only recently, it really added to my anxiety about going through something so emotionally intensive!

@HJen22 Hello fellow Aberdonian!

How did you find the HyCosy, was it painful? I’m sorry to hear about your low egg count, although at least you are getting to the bottom of things. Did they tell you how long you will have to wait before starting IVF? It seems like you are about 2 months ahead of me in terms of appointments etc.

How are you finding getting healthy? I’ve been told I need to loose weight if I am to receive any treatment from the NHS, which is an added stress! My BMI is too high and I need to loose around 7kg. The irony is I usually work out every day and eat relatively healthy, now I am cutting back my food I don’t have any energy to exercise, I feel rubbish and so tired every day! Exercising does wonders for my mental health and I know this is not the healthiest route to go down, but I just can’t seem to shift any weight without really cutting back the calories.

It’s so hard seeing others start their pregnancy journey isn’t it, just knowing they have had a BFP and gotten to share the moment with their nearest and dearest makes me so upset that I haven’t had mine. I try my best to focus on the positives that comes with the freedom of having no children, looking forward to holidays in particular (if COVID would kindly f**k off) and then as soon as I find out someone is pregnant, it sends me straight back to square one of crying and not being able to focus on anything.

Lol, I am totally the same with my partner. I need to actively remind myself that he’s not the enemy. I guess they are just the first person in the firing line when you are having a bad day. Sigh!

Whewww I am so glad I have found this group, I feel like a weight has been lifted already xx

@Loops01 yeah to be fair its not THAT bad, although I only started on Friday! I am going to treat myself to some gluten free bread at the weekend haha oh the excitement! Your diet sounds very healthy! I am just so up or down, I'm not very good at the whole "maintain", its all or nothing it seems! Brown or white rice which is good, and new potatoes so it's not totally carbless thank goodness! Yeah there have been weeks when I haven't drank at all, then some days or if we've had stuff on I've had a few, but I also don't think a lot of the time I am in the right mindset, I either end up crying or falling out with my OH after a drink! Which is never ideal!!

Welcome @User1400, another Aberdeen lady :) I am sorry you are struggling with TTC like us :( please know that you ARE NOT alone, we are here to chat and it really does help!

If you have any Aberdeen specific questions I can help as I am a little further forward in that I have had my internal and HyCosy and as I am sure you have read, been referred for IVF due to low egg reserve (at this point we are on Cycle 20, no BFP ever either). I am trying my best to get the healthiest and most relaxed I can, and will continue to TTC naturally in the meantime. I go through a mix of emotions daily!

I am so sorry to hear that your best friend announcement her pregnancy, I have also had a lot of friends have babies in the time we have been trying to, it kills me a little every time when I first hear, its hearTbreaking isn't it and it's also so horrible to be sad when it's such happy news for your friends, I have major guilt about those feelings. I tend to get a bit better as time goes on, the initial finding out is when I am most upset.

Also, I have been THE most emotional person, I feel awful that OH has had to put up with me crying, being down, being upset and then being upset he doesn't realise I am upset (I think I expect him to be a mind reader/think the same as a female!) and I spend a lot of days crying, sometimes at just hugging the dog haha! So please know, that we feel like this too. Don't apologise, we totally understand!!

xxx

@User1400 no lay it all out! I totally get it.

I'm going into cycle 14 on Thurs. No whiff of a positive. No mc. No pain or symptoms of anything apart from cd1 where I bloat a bit and a walk or hot water bottle for a bit helps the little pain. Had scans and all fine. Dh checked and he was better than fine. I don't get it. How long are your cycles? I'm roughly 28-31 days with a 10 day luteal phase. I've tried EVERYTHING (apart from vaginal steaming). I'm looking forward to the hycosy as in my eyes it'll either explain why it's not working or it'll all be fine and hopefully clear out anything in the tubes and make them better 🤷🏼‍♀️. I don't mind the pain aspect or anything like that. I actually can't wait to give birth (to this baby I don't have 😂). Ive always had a high pain threshold and just like to bare things out really.

I get you so much with dh and I have been there. We've had such arguments I told him I'm happy to end the marriage as I felt so little support. He isn't a talker nor a negative person whereas I am. He was keeping it all inside and just broke down when I said that. It was clear that we were both dealing with it differently and couldn't understand each other. It's horrible and I hate what it's done to me as a person and my relationship. It's still strong as we were able to talk and work towards going through this together but it is not easy and I still think that he doesn't truly understand but it's not his fault for being different to me. We've worked together so now I pee on the sticks and he records them. I ask him where I am in my cycle so he knows what to expect. We've done it for 2 months now and it's really helped me. He just doesn't speak about the fact that it doesn't work and it's like we aren't trying at all in a sense because he doesn't openly speak about it. Some

I mentioned before that in the past 7ms now I think I've had 16 pregnancy announcements. One is SIL, a few are friends (not close) but the majority is work. I'm literally surrounded by them. It's really tough. Some days are better than others. I don't cry every day now but I did for a good space of time. I've just kinda accepted that it won't happen and we are going to plan for ivf privately or just wait til 2023. Personally I'm not fussed about ivf it's more it not working that gets me. It's fine to wait in a sense but waiting for something that doesn't work will really throw me off.

Keep your head up. It's OK. I hope we all get there soon and people on here are so supportive. I don't know how I would have managed without this!

@Loops01 Sounds like I may be similar to you, TTC #1 2 years and nothing! (No MC, no BFP). My partner and I have had the routine GP tests which came back fine.. if we’re fine, why hasn’t it happened?! How long have you been TTC? Sorry, I am sure you have already explained earlier in the thread.

I don’t have a date for HyCosy yet, I am so scared at the thought and potentially going through IVF etc, I just want it to happen naturally! (As I’m sure we all do).

Totally understand about your best friend, as much as I am happy for mine, it makes me sad for me 😭. I have other friends who are TTC and I just know they will conceive before me, I find myself dreading these conversations and having to hide my devastation. It makes me feel like a bad person!

I am not generally an emotional person but through my TTC journey I have been an emotional wreck. My partner is supportive but I don’t think he truly understands how much I am struggling, sometimes I just cry myself to sleep, it feels like everyone is getting pregnant but me. Even I am getting used to this hyper sensitive version of myself, so I can only imagine how hard it is for him to navigate.

Sorry, I feel like I am really laying it all out here, but it feels good rather than having to put on a brave face xx

@HJen22that doesn't sound too bad! Every dayshift I have very similar fruit and yoghurt. It's my favourite. Other than that it's weetabix with fruit and nuts. I don't drink milk in any way so it's my only real dairy since I don't really eat cheese any more (cry). It is a certain type of rice or just any? Things like nut butters are so expensive and sometimes it takes a while to get used to them. I tend to make all my meals but do snack more often now on sugary stuff but I'm gonna try to get back to how I was! I get you with the alcohol. I was out with dh and his mates the other night after a busy shift and very little sleep and I wasn't going to drink then I thought I'm gonna need to if this goes on a while. Didn't have many though.

@User1400 welcome! What's your story? I'm liking that this is very Aberdeen heavy now haha. Have you got your hycosy date? I'm sorry to hear about your best friend. One of my best friends is trying and I'm dreading the day they announce even though I would be happy for them.

I keep looking at insta like #bfn or #ttc and I am struggling to find many folk who have been trying for so long without a diagnosis or a mc. I don't know how long to keep going for before I need to push for more. Like if all is OK then why is it not working. Unless it is genetic issues. Its mental! I have my SIL due in a month in a bit. It makes me sad that we were trying before her and now we are here...

Hi girls 👋 how are you all doing? I haven’t read this entire thread but relating so much to the OP I thought I’d jump in!

Currently 2 years TTC, awaiting HyCosy appointment at Aberdeen fertility clinic. I’m so afraid of the test itself, never mind the possible outcomes!

To top it off my best friend announced her pregnancy without TTC, I don’t know how much longer I can cope, I feel so alone and worry I’ll never get my BFP. Feeling comfort in reading some of you ladies posts xx

@Loops01i totally feel the same 😞 but I hope one day we'll look back on this time and see we were strong and didn't give up and that it was all worth it in the end 🥰

Oh that's really good, congratulations! And something to look forward to and focus on! Be great to spend more time with loved ones as I think it's what gets me through! I'm a bit unmotivated with work at the minute, it's been quite quiet so hoping it gets busier soon to keep my mind occupied!

I know, crazy! But if it helps me conceive naturally or aids IVF I'm willing to try anything. Although, it was a gift I'd perhaps not have done myself - as I knew it would be loads of effort. Fruit I'm allowed just limit to like 2 bits a day, I'll have fruit like berries and coconut yogurt and nuts for breakfast or an apple and nut butter as a snack. It's cost loads to get stuff as a start but in a way it's making me focus. If anything it will just make me healthier. I'm not even to have things like gluten free pasta or anything yet, but I'm allowed rice and organic new potatoes 😂 and she told me to buy a loaf of gluten free bread for when I need it! Oh and I'm allowed gluten free Nairn oatcakes haha. The no alcohol I don't really mind as I've not been that fussed for the last year and a half anyway other than on a sunny day really. This way I've been told not to so I don't feel boring leaving my OH to have a drink on his own. And he's being super supportive, saying I should give it my all as it's for sure worth a try. More so because I've been told I need IVF i'd like to try anything to perhaps avoid that.

@HJen22 I totally understand you! I don't know who I am anymore. I know it'll be worth it but it's also like I'm just a shell of myself. I cope but life is difficult to find happiness that isn't a dependency. Eg yeah in happy in my relationship but there's not really have many happy moments any more. Not sure if I said but I'm getting a role change in work that I asked for so I'm hoping that means I can see dh and friends and family more often! It's happening on Nov 22nd so it is something definite to hope for any look forward to.

That diet seems ridiculous 😂 and definitely not fun. I guess you don't mind paying the money as you know it'll benefit you and hopefully make you feel better. I definitely found that I felt better and had more energy when I ate well. It is expensive and difficult to keep up when routine changes! I'm intrigued to hear how you get on though! The headaches you'll get for the first week though 😂. What does she say about natural sugars like fruit - don't have too much or is it the only thing you can really eat haha

@Loops01 I doubled checked and yeah the letter was dated 21st June so it was more on the 2 month wait than 3, it was just that I couldn't go til half way through August cos of AF! I hope you hear soon! And if not yeah just give them a call, whenever I've called they have been nice 😊

I googled and I'm not sure it should make a huge difference, I didn't track or confirm ovulation but it was better at a 27 day cycle rather than 24! DPO chops and changes, think normally 13+. I'm so sorry you had a negative 😔 it sucks doesn't it!

I know, the waiting is the worst! I think for private tests it would require looking further afield but im sure Glasgow would offer it? I know Aberdeen doesn't offer HyCosy private cos I asked for the same reason; I wanted answers quick!

I miss my old self, the relatively care free happy person without major worries. I had my nutritionist call on Friday; she's got me on a gluten free, dairy free, alcohol, caffeine, sugar free no fun diet 😂 she organised for me to do bloods to check all sorts of things and I'm waiting for another kit to arrive that's a urine sample for testing hormones. I've a follow up in a month - of course all of this was at quite an expensive added cost but at this point I'm willing to try anything!!!

@HJen22 thank you! Very much! I'll give it another week then I'll call if I don't get anything. They did say 3 months but I was hoping to try and get it a wee bit sooner but we shall see! Do you know why AF was late? Hycosy maybe? Do you know how many dpo you have in general? I'm also 10dpo and I'm 9 today. Had a few twinges but it was the same last month. Going to get back running again as of tomorrow morning (hopefully if I'm not held on again!) so tested today and it was a negative. Thought it would be! Just don't know how to keep going on every month. As in is it worthwhile just paying for some sort of treatment now instead of waiting another 15 cycles. It'll be just more than double what I've done already. The thought!