Month 12, 6 DPO, fed up and loosing hope

@AZ1992X oh my goodness last Christmas! I loooove that one. Chokes me up every time! Did you like them?

Your weekend sounds so lovely!

Yeah although it was busy, I enjoyed it :) I had some acupuncture (she left one of the needles in my stomach in and I didn’t realise until I went to pull my trousers up hahaha)

Met up with some friends but it felt like a lot of the conversations featured pregnant people or babies haha I don’t know if I’m being sensitive to it or not?!

Neither of them are wanting children so I know it’s not intentional, it just made me realise how much I notice these things now lol

Sunday dinner and a warm pudding is the best on a weekend! I want to find a recipe for spotted dick! It was my absolute favourite and everyone thinks I’m a grandma for loving it haha

@Amy259 eeeeek I can’t believe you managed to keep it in, I bet it was so hard!

Any symptoms creeping up yet? Are you going for a private early scan? ✨💕✨

Morning girls!

@LA9610 brilliant news about your first appointment, glad you didn’t need to wait to long.

@HopefulGlow ahh scan day tomorrow, that’s exciting. Totally normal to be super nervous too, but it’ll be good to get another piece of the puzzle!

My weekend was lovely thank you, was my mum’s birthday so had a nice meal out and spent some time with my parents. Was your busy weekend a good one?

@AZ1992X I think the wait for ov is sometimes worse than the tww! Fingers crossed your ovulation happens earlier, you don’t need another week away with af 😂 love that you’ve started with a Christmas films, I’m itching to!

I’m keeping okay thank you ladies. Saw both sets of parents this weekend and managed not to say anything haha. Still bouts of real crazy anxiety that it’s all going to end, but managed to stop testing. Got my appointments through for midwife and scan which feels a bit mental, so just counting down the days until an early scan and trying not to drive myself crazy in the meantime! Xx

Morning everyone,

Hope everyone had a nice weekend and your Monday wasn’t too bad.

@HopefulGlow it was lovely thank you! Had a small walk both days, had a good clear out and tidy, watched a Christmas movie each day - Holidate and then last Christmas (hadn’t seen them before) & then finished the weekend making a Sunday dinner and warm pudding.

Hope you had a lovely weekend even though it was busy?

@LA9610 that’s great you’ve had your appointment letter through and you don’t have too long to wait.

@Amy259 hope you’re keeping ok?

Xx.

@AZ1992X the weekend came and went in a blur! It was a busy one for us, we usually have quite chilled weekends, so I’m looking forward to a nice quiet week.

How was yours?

@LA9610 great news about your appointment! What is this appointment for?

@User1400 did you mind it being a video appointment? I’m not sure if I would prefer one over the other tbh.

I have my scan on Weds and I’m a little nervous 😅 it will be good to have news though, either way.

@Amy259 how was your weekend? How’s you and the little bean doing?✨💕✨

@LA9610 Happy Monday to you too! Is this your first fertility appointment? Ours was video call, good to hear they are doing them in person again. Remind me.. what stage are you at with TTC? Sorry, my head is like a sieve Xxx

Happy Monday everyone!! Hope you all had a good weekend?

Just had a letter through to attend first appointment at the Subfertility clinic with my OH next Monday. Was surprised to get an appointment so quickly to be honest, was also expecting a telephone appointment to begin with based on what I had heard but happy that it is in person.

@Amy259 I find it relaxing as there’s nothing I can do although I always want it to come round quick once AF starts 😂. Thank you, I hope so too otherwise I’ll probably be due AF just before I go away (again) if it’s later.

@User1400 I’ve not got any scans booked - I’ve got to wait until April to get referred unfortunately but they did check my bloods which all came back ok. It doesn’t actually feel that far away now though (hoping it may happen naturally before then though 🤞).

Hope everything goes ok with your hycosy next week.

Hope everyone’s Friday is going ok, weekend is nearly upon us!
I’m on countdown - 2 hours left 😂😂

@Amy259 wow! That’s so fascinating, I love that they can do these things. It must have been amazing to watch & im sure it helped you get your BFP this month 😍

I think I’m pretty good with pain but I remember having one of my coils in and crying after! Lol I rang my mum and thanked her for birthing me 🤣 so hopefully the scan won’t be like that.

Wait what?? There’s a third? 😂 what else can they do with it?? Haha

Have you seen Christmas inheritance? That’s equally as cheesy but amazing!

✨💕✨

@HopefulGlow so the dye is bright white and you see the it go into your uterus and up both tubes. So basically the dye does the egg’s journey in reverse, all the way to your ovary, and when it gets to the end of the tube it’s supposed to spill out, and my left side did.
On the right side, I could see my tube was being forced wider at the ovary end and the white stuff was all gathering at the very end instead of spilling over. So she asked if I minded it she pushed more dye, and she did, and it unblocked it and I saw the white stuff pour out the end of the tube!

So I couldn’t see the mucus plug bit, and it’ll have been pushed out into my body (who knows where it goes 😂) but I saw the effect of it being there, then being dislodged, if that makes sense? And I’m guessing my tube could then go back to normal size and work properly, given the positive this month? It could just be coincidence but it seems too good timing.

And the normal hycosy part was fine, and she said they don’t hurt at all if everything is okay, but the unblocking was… unpleasant 🙈

The Princess Switch - loved the cheese of the first one, second one not as good but adequate background wrapping festiveness, nervous about number 3…😂 xx

@LA9610 augh, I didn’t even think of him missing AF too, I’m so sorry you have to do that alone. Have you told him how difficult you find it? Is there a way you could FaceTime him or call him when things get lonely and difficult? I know it’s not the same as physical cuddles though 😔

@Amy259 I want to know how a mucus plug even gets up there?! 😂 also, did you get to see it? Haha I might have been weird and asked if I could have haha

The Princess Switch? Is absolutely terrible!! I love it 😂😂 do you like it??

I’m going to order some Christmas fabric for place settings and napkins this weekend 😁 I’m too excited! Haha

✨💕✨

@AZ1992X ahh a chill part of the cycle! Or impatient part if you’re anything like me 😂 hoping you ovulate closer to your normal CD this time and don’t need to wait as long 🤞🏻

@User1400 I’ll keep my fingers crossed for you! Hopefully a good flushing does the trick 😂 I guess the big mucus plug (yuck) they managed to flush out in mine must’ve been the problem - my right tube was totally blocked at the ovary end, so no eggs were getting down it. I don’t know the odds of it improving fertility if there’s nothing wrong though, but there’s definitely lots of stories out there of it happening shortly after. Let us know how you get on!

@HopefulGlow yeah keep us updated! On the topic of Christmas films, how do you feel about the Princess Switch..? 👀

@LA9610 thank you! Yeah it’s such a weight off being able to vocalise and rationalise.
I’m so sorry you need to go through not having DH here for some fws then some af weeks - I didn’t even think that he’d obviously miss some af weeks too. It all must be so frustrating and so hard for both of you ♥️ Fingers crossed for November 🤞🏻🤞🏻

Happy Friday everyone xx

@Amy259 so happy the test was fine and your news is now shared :) That must be a little bit of relief for you that you now have someone to talk to about it properly.

@User1400 yeah it doesn't make things easier unfortunately. I find it makes it even worse as I get my hopes up more for the months he is here and if he is home for my FW then he is never at home on the day I get AF, it makes it such a lonely process not being able to even get a cuddle or have any support when I get that BFN :(

My mum just got keys to her new house yesterday so I'll probably be helping with painting and cleaning etc. over the weekend!

@Amy259 @AZ1992X yeah it’s my NHS one, I will let you guys know how it goes. Fingers crossed 🤞🏼

Awwww Amy I’m so happy you finally got to tell tour DH!!! 🥰 that must have been such a beautiful moment 💕

@User1400 glad you liked them too. Sometimes I add them to my Pinterest board to try and keep me focused 🥰

I hope everyone is ready for the weekend 😁✨💕✨

Hey girls, sorry I’ve missed quite a bit of natter.

@Amy259 aww I’m so happy your DH knows, it must have been lovely 🥺. My HyCosy is next week yep☺️. To be honest, having seen you get your BFP after HyCosy, I am hoping the same thing will happen for us! I’m trying not to get too carried away with myself as I’m aware there could be any outcome, but you’ve given me some hope 🤞🏻.

@LA9610 so sorry your DH is offshore, it must add to the frustration 😖. At least you are all clear for Nov!

@HopefulGlow love the quotes! Sometimes you need those little reminders 💓

@AZ1992X when is your scan? Sorry if you’ve already said xxx

@Amy259 I think that’s completely normal to feel like that but hopefully you’ll start to feel a little better as each day and then each week passes. ❤️ You’ve got this! Xx.

Only CD9 so probably another week still - will start my opks in a few days.

@AZ1992X thank you. I don’t think I’ll chill out for a fair few weeks yet, but I need to stop the testing. It just scares me that it can go wrong out of nowhere, even with really strong tests 🥺 how are we supposed to do this??

Your fw can’t be too far away now, is it? Xx

@Amy259 Glad your test was fine & good idea to ban them otherwise you’ll just drive yourself mad trying to keep comparing then.

Aww that’s so lovely and it’s great you caught it on camera so you can keep it ❤️❤️ Xx.

@HopefulGlow is it your NHS gynae scan? I never got one of them, they jumped straight to hycosy for me, so I can’t help much I’m afraid! I did go for one with a private gynae though (at one of those clinics that do early pregnancy scans) and she did an external one then an internal one, checked my ovaries for follicles and measured my urine lining to make sure it was thick enough. And she told me everything there and then, as she was doing it, I imagine it’s quite similar for nhs? Weird that they don’t offer that here!

@User1400 how are you doing this week? Your hycosy is in a week’s time, isn’t it? If I remembered that right!

@AZ1992X thank you - and of course you were all right, it was the test. Got home and did another one which was almost as dark as the test line, and a clear blue that said “2-3 weeks”. I have now banned testing!

Told DH, he cried, I cried. It was lovely, and I managed to catch it all on camera too xx

@Amy259 Try not to worry- it could just be the test, let us know how you get on.

I’m doing ok thank you, looking forward to finishing work tomorrow and for the weekend.

@HopefulGlow that sounds great and a little drink won’t do you no harm - enjoy!!

I’ve never had the scans just bloods so I’m not entirely sure - let us know how you get on, hoping all goes ok! ❤️

@LA9610 @HopefulGlow thanks girls, I think that’s my plan. If I manage to hold my bladder for a few hours then I’ll text when I get home. I want to feel fully convinced and good when I tell him. Then no more tests.

How is everyone’s day going? Xx

@AZ1992X you definitely sound like you deserve a chilled weekend. That sounds lovely.

I’m going to my acupuncture appointment on Saturday, then me and the OH have a meal booked. Which we haven’t done is so long I’m going to break my rules and have a little wine. Then Sunday I’m meeting some friends for a pub lunch and card games.

I also want to get some more Christmas things planned 😂 can’t help it.

Thanks! I will let you know how it goes. do you know if they tell you there and then? Or do you have to wait?

@Amy259 I agree, I’m trying to stay positive and it’s all a step forward. Even if it is taking a slightly different path. The destination it the same :)

Oh I’m so sorry to hear about your test, but it really does sound like a dodgy test. I would agree to take another. It would make you feel better 💕

@LA9610 it’s crazy isn’t it! The stats are all over the place.

Oh gosh I don’t know if I’m that organised lol I’m also cheap so don’t know how I feel about spending too much money on them lol I have read some people but them second hand and just buy the liners new? 🤔 I’m not sure.

How is everyone doing? ✨💕✨

@HopefulGlow, yeah I've seen that stat on the NHS website. The 98% is for people aged 19-26 though and then for ages 35-39 its 82% after 1 year and 90% after 2. They don't seem to have any stats for people aged 27-34 (which is strange, did they not have anyone those ages in the study?!) but I will take a guess that it's somewhere in between 98 and 90% after 2 years, probably closer to 98 if you are still in your 20s and moving closer to the 90% for women in their 30's. Just a guess though.

No I don't think she ever found it too much faff to be honest and my sister is not the most organised person but she managed doing that completely fine. She loved having the babies in colourful SnuggleBum nappies - not sure if it saved her much money as the things are quite expensive to buy but that wasn't the point for her.

@Amy259, Try not to worry too much, it sounds like it's probably just the test to be honest if the line is thinner as well as lighter? Perhaps do one more proper test and if that one sets your mind at ease then you could stop testing with an assured mind rather than leaving it on what could just be a faulty test?

Thank you @HopefulGlow it’s all so scary.

Try not to be too nervous - no matter what happens at your scan, it’s a step forward! Whether ruling out some things or finding something to get help with, it’s a step closer to the end goal ♥️

@AZ1992X thank you! Wishing I’d told him yesterday now, this morning my test line is a bit wonky - thin and fainter at the top. I’m trying to tell myself it’s the test not something wrong, but keep looking at the photo and thinking it’s definitely lighter.

Not the best start to the day I planned to tell him!! 😩 don’t want to just post them here in case someone finds it’s tough, so trying to talk myself off a ledge 😂 time to stop testing I think.

How are you doing today? Xx

& hope everything goes well with the scan @HopefulGlow

Xx.