Month 12, 6 DPO, fed up and loosing hope

@HopefulGlow I’m glad you feel better for coming on here, everyone has been so supportive to me and if you ever have any questions you can guarantee someone will know or have experienced it, I’ve learnt so much since joining here!

I always find it really hard around when AF is due so you’re not alone in that and defo normal to feel grumpy 😂

@AZ1992X oooo you are close to me!! Hi neighbor!! 😁

I do feel better for coming on here actually, I was really worried about it for no reason. 🤦🏼‍♀️

It’s so nice to see everyone being so supportive and giving each other advise 💞

The last 2 periods I’ve been an emotional mess before them. Not because I was overthinking the TWW, but I actually felt like a dragon! I’ve been so moody and grumpy, silly me thought that was a good sign 😅💞

@Lynne425 oh my goodness!!!! Yessss!!! This is amazing 💕💕💕💕

A huge congratulations to you 💕 I’m hoping and praying this one is a sticky bean 💕💕💕

Morning all!

How’s everyone doing? Sorry I’ve been a little quiet since I returned from my jolly’s - I’ve been a little under the weather (non Covid).

@HopefulGlow Welcome! ☺️ Hope you’re doing ok & I hope you feel a little better for finally reaching out? I know I found some comfort that there was others going through the same thing. I’m from the East Midlands too so not too far away.

@Lynne425 that’s great news & im keeping everything crossed everything will go well this time around ❤️❤️

Thanks @MaybeBabyAli

I know it's still mega early (only 10dpo) but that hint of a line has given me hope!!

If the line gets darker over the next week I'll book a private scan for 6 weeks before I get excited (that's when I found out re the miscarriage last time) Xx

I’ve been lurking on this thread for a while to follow all your journeys but just have to post to say a massive congrats @Lynne425 what fantastic news!!!! Your bfp made me really smile this morning. Got all my fingers crossed for you 🌈 What a wonderfully odd way the world works, I think this is meant to be (re previous due date).

Morning All

Can't believe this is actually happening this morning (please stick 🤞🏻)

After 14 months TCC, a miscarriage in February I finally have my vvf BFP 🌈💕

I'm trying not to get my hopes up just yet but just knowing this might be it makes it feel soo much better

(Also I've just realised this should have been my due date) xxx

@HJen22 ooo being regular is always good! One of the things I keep an eye on too as it can be a pregnancy symptom (along with everything else! Haha)

I love that you’ve tried reflexology too! Do you prefer the acupuncture then?

You see I need to be a bit more natural, I’ve just had 3 digestive biscuits with a hot drink 😂 not very healthy 🤦🏼‍♀️ I do prefer being dairy free though, but dairy free cheese isn’t as good in some things!

I imagine gluten free is super tricky too. It’s a good job you have some stuff packed to take with you. Are you excited to go away? ✨💕✨

@HopefulGlow haha same, I feel sorry for my poor OH with my constant meltdowns!

The only thing I've noticed is that I have way more regular bowel movements which may be due to eating gluten free and no dairy, or the concoction of vitamins! I've been tired and grumpy but probs the sugar detox as well!

Haha I've also tried reflexology, I went a couple of times but didn't love it, but I'm sure my sister enjoyed it! I like to just feel like I'm trying everything I can.

Currently sitting in the pub having soda and lime and thankfully they had gluten free burger buns, however the chips, tomato sauce and coleslaw aren't very "natural" 🙈😂 took plenty supplies for our weekend away but it's more difficult when out! Trying my best though!

Xxx

@HJen22 that’s true! He does listen to me and comfort me when I’m having my mini breakdowns haha

Oh wow! That is a concoction, do you feel any different taking them? Oooo acupuncture, I will have to take a look at that. I did read about reflexology too, I might try that haha I will do anything at this point.

Ahhhh the things we do 😅 ✨💕✨

@HopefulGlow aw don't be silly, it's not like that at all, we are all going through the same thing. It defintely helps me to talk to others in the same position, and I

I know we have our OHs but its hard for them to fully understand how we feel, I guess as it is for us to understand how they are feeling. So welcome :)

There are always people who got pregnant first try, or without trying isn't there, its like HOW?! Haha. I was also on the pills for years and years, the Acupunturist actually asked me about that and said about it taking a while to come out of your system - however i have no been off it 18 months!

I know how you feel, I want so badly to give my nephews a little cousin :(

Haha as you may have read I'm on a concoction of many many vitamins from the Nutritionist, along with a few I already took and now some Chinese medicine from the Acupuncturist! I used to take the seven seas tablets, and sure there was another one i tried as well! Oh i used a spray thing!

Yoga is a good idea, I go through phases of doing yoga and meditation but not really been feeling it lately. Podcasts are always good as well!

xxx

@HJen22 I have been stalking these pages for months, feeling like I couldn’t post because there were people out there that have been TTC for longer than me 😅 but everyone seems so lovely and supportive I thought it would hep x

My mum & my best friend who doesn’t live near me is the only people who know. They are supportive although I made the mistake of asking how long it took my Mum to get my sister….she said not long at all haha which made me feel awful! But she was only on the pill for 6 months before and I have been on some form of contraception for 15 years 😩 suppose it can take a while.

I’m in the East Midlands! So a little way away from you guys.

Oh yes I love being an Auntie too, they are adorable and it’s great seeing them grow up. Makes my ovaries throb though haha

Is anyone taking any vitamins or using fertility lubricant? Any other tips and tricks I’m not aware of? Haha

I’m on the raspberry leaf tea, 7 seas trying to conceive vitamins and sometimes I remember to use Conceive Plus!

I know I need to do more to relax, probably get back in to yoga?

✨💕✨

@HopefulGlow Morning :) I know, I was just saying the other day I miss the old me. It's sad how it becomes so consuming, I wish it didn't but I know it's totally normal to feel this way when you have wanted it for so long. But yeah, it hurts a lot doesn't it. And no one really understands unless they are going through it too! Which is why its so nice to chat on here x

Yeah all UK, a few of us up in Aberdeen. Where are you based?

I know, so lovely! And then she fell pregnant with her second naturally, quicker than she'd expected haha! Love my nephews to bits! My Mum very much had the attitude of "you may just need a little help" which sadly isn't the case, and my sister, god love her, kind of seems to have forgotten what it was like trying. Aw that's so good about your sister too :) being an Auntie is great isnt it! xx

Morning @HJen22 thank you for your message! Don’t apologize about not being positive, I’m right there with you! It does get tiring though, being so sad all the time.

It’s so sad to see how many people struggle with it too. You just don’t realise until you’re in the same boat.

Is anyone else having symptoms of having fertility help? Are we all UK based too?

That’s such good news about your sister! 💕 my sister was trying with her hubby for 2 years, finally went to the doctors for help and then fell pregnant the next month! 😅

Hopefully it will be us soon ✨xx

@User1400 thank you, just one of those days where I wasn't very busy so my mind wasn't being taken off things, too much time to think! We are off up to Ballater for 2 nights, its my OHs birthday so just a wee change of scenery, have some nice walks with the pup etc!

@Loops01 aw im so sorry you're feeling low too :( it really sucks doesn't it. And I'm really sorry to hear that your OHs shifts may mean another missed month. It hurts when you can't even try doesn't it. Not going to lie, this month/FW was a bit of a thought for me, we have only did it twice (although one of those days was day before predicted ovulation, but again ive not been tracking so don't even know if that is right!) will try and keep going for the next few days every 2nd day, but my heart just isn't in it this month.

They didn't say anything to me about private when I was there and they said I would be added to the list, but I am presuming it is an option! I think you just need to be careful, I think if you pay the first one they take that off your NHS funded cycles. So you could have 3 free and pay for the 4th, but if you pay for the first you then only get 2 on the NHS. Don't quote me on that but I think that might be the case, I'm sure I read it somewhere.

I'm worried about it just not working either :( I know the chances are slim, and I think even more so cos of my egg reserve. I know it only takes one but its hard not to worry. Can't get away from it either, even watching Grand Designs last night the couple were going through IVF (whilst building a house, MAD!) although it did work which was a nice happy ending :)

That's so sad about the guy at your work, must be utterly heartbreaking!

@HopefulGlow welcome! Sorry I have not been very positive the last few posts, however we do have our good days over here :) It is so hard, I am sorry to hear you are going through struggles like the rest of us! I also understand how you feel about your OH, my OH has a child too.

My advise would be to try and get some tests / speak to the Dr soon. I know its mega scary, and it does feel like a total kick in the teeth getting to the point where you have to, but it can take quite a while so its def best to get the ball rolling. And sometimes people just need a little help, my sister was prescribed chlomid to ovulate and fell pregnant :) It really gets you down when the struggle makes you not feel like yourself, I have felt like that a lot. We just have to try and stay positive, let ourselves have the bad days and the next day is a new day. And hope that we get some BFPs soon xxx

Hi ladies!

I hope you don’t mind me hopping on, I’m a long time stalker first time poster!

I actually came on here to post a similar thing as you @fingerscrossed91 so I felt like I had to jump in to at least make you feel like you had one more person on your team!

I’m in denial about going for help too, which I don’t want people to think it means I don’t want it, because I do!! So damn much!! But I hate how this has made me feel. Like I can’t do the one thing we are designed to do :(

To make it worse my OH has 2 children already which makes me think it’s me that’s the problem.

My question is, how the hell do we stay positive throughout all of this? Because I’m usually an upbeat and positive person but I’m struggling so much.

I have other stresses too right now, which I know won’t help. But I’m hoping you guys have some tips to help keep the dark clouds at bay 💕

I really hope we all get some BFP’s soon 💕

Lots of love and positivity to you all ✨

@User1400 that good you got yours so quick too! Your two weeks after me. It'll be cd16 for me when it happens and I'm not expecting them to really find anything nor any miracles after.

@HJen22 I'll give that boy a call and maybe book in for the end of the month (after pat day!).

I'm a bit fed up with the 2 year thing. This cycle is probably out due to hycosy (which is expected) but we've looked at next month and my dh has all his shifts changed due to that climate thing in Glasgow so we may be out then too! So annoying!!! They've been told that they might be away the entire time. So the days off they get they are basically kept there just in case. Then SIL baby will be born after that. I'm just feeling really low. Created my own ttc insta account as that's been helping but I'm looking at everyone's and just seeing those in the same position (unexplained with no hint of a positive) ending up resorting to ivf. Just don't know if I should save up and have a private round whilst waiting for the NHS one. I might speak to them about it. It's pretty rubbish that they aren't really doing anything else until the 2 Yr mark. I get that they are strapped for staff and money but I'd rather they say oh you could do this or that but you'd have to pay for it. Guy in my work, his wife did NHS and were told unexplained infertility but she kept having early mcs. They went private in London and found out it was NK cells. She's since had 5 ivfs and got pregnant all but 1 and mc the rest. Shame. He had to take time off as he admitted that he struggled with it all but the worst thing for him was that everyone else in work was pregnant and it was a constant reminder of everything they have gone through and he couldn't cope. I was like I totally understand you as seeing them gets to me but I'm nowhere near your level of ttc emotions so it must be really really difficult.

It's such a long and difficult process and I just don't see it happening naturally.

I can get like this when I feel down or whatever but apart from still wanting to lose the belly bulge I'm actually doing OK. I just feel like it's getting real this struggle. I knew in was losing hope but now I feel like ttc will just never really work!

@HJen22 I know, 2 years just feels so long to even just get on a list. I get that they can’t jump to helping everyone super quickly, but there can’t be many other medical situations where they say “see you in 2 years” 😂 xx

Sorry you’re feeling a bit bleh today, days like that are rubbish - it’s nearly over now though! Where are you off to this weekend?

@User1400 yeah it seems pretty individual, I’m sure you could ask after your scan though? What the doctor reckons? Yeah maybe, if the tube is back to normal now, but I don’t know that for sure - and like you, I wouldn’t want to get my hopes up! Xx

@Amy259 Thank you for the info 🤗 The internet is like a blessing and a curse haha it’s good for research but sometimes there’s so much info you don’t know which end is up! It seems like it’s maybe more of a case by case thing then, I’ll deffo not get my hopes up 🙄. Although if yours was a mucus plugged that cleared, that seems like potentially good news for increased fertility?!

@HJen22 yeah I feel like I just want to get on with it now! Although as the appt approaches I am sure I’ll be so scared lol. Sorry you’re feeling a bit down . Anything in particular bugging you? At least you have some weekend plans to look forward to. Are you off to anywhere nice? 😀

Xx

@suzy124 I hope you are feeling better today!

@Amy259 ugh that's annoying they know exactly when you had it removed! The thing with the whole 1 year wait for referral to fertility clinic / 2 year wait for IVF is that it takes so much longer with all the waits once you've actually had the referral 😔 I know it's NHS and they are doing their very best (in also a very different circumstances) but the whole TTC is just one wait after another.

@User1400 that's good news you have your appointment through for HyCosy. I was the same, was good to be getting somewhere with tests other than bloods.

I've no idea about if hycosy increases chances, I wasn't told anything at my appointment but I guess if there was a small blockage that was fixed maybe it could? Always so many different stories online!

How is everyone today? I'm feeling meh today, been a slow and quiet week with work but off Friday and we're away for a few nights for my OHs birthday. Nothing crazy haha walks and trying to stick to my eating plan!

Xxx

@suzy124 hope you’re feeling even better today. Thanks, af not due until next Tuesday but I found a CB early test in a drawer that I’ll take on Friday morning (11dpo) before this wedding/our holiday so I have a better idea if af is going to come when I’m in a tent for 10 days 😂

@HJen22 my two year mark would be next June and I can’t really fib because I had a coil so they know exactly when I got that out!

@User1400 loops and I were just talking about this - so Oxford Fertility recently released a paper on this, apparently if there’s something easy wrong with a tube, like a mucus plug they can clear with the dye (this happened to me 🤢) to open the tube more, then there’s a chance fertility is increased. If they use a fat-soluble dye, there’s a chance any smaller mucus deposits will be cleared too but most places use water soluble which doesn’t have the same clearing effect. If there’s nothing wrong at all, then it’ll make no difference and if they’re truly blocked by hydrosalpinx it’ll make no difference either.

There’s stories all over the internet of both, some saying it made no difference and some saying after years of trying they were pregnant the next month.. which makes sense with all the above data I guess, the women who did fall preg quickly maybe had some minor blockages that were dislodged during it?

This is all from research, zero actual experience - I had mine this cycle but apparently because the dye can remain on the surface of your uterine lining until a period sheds it, the likelihood of successful pregnancy is really small the same month you get it. So I’ll let you know what happened for me in 3 cycles time 😂 (sorry this is so long, I’ve literally just looked into all this for myself so thought I’d pass it on) xx

Morning girls, how are you all?

I got my appointment for HyCosy, 7 Oct. Mixed feelings as it’s starting to feel ‘real’ but it’s good to know we’re working towards something at the same time.

@suzy124 sorry to hear you’ve been unwell, hopefully you’re on the mend now. How have you been other than that? ☺️

@amy259 good for you not testing! I gave up on testing a long time ago.. it makes the tww so much more bearable once you have managed to shake the testing urges😊.

Does anyone know if HyCosy really increases fertility chances for the following 3 cycles? I’ve read online that this is a myth but then I’ve seen threads where people have said their Dr said it is true (?!). Don’t want to get my hopes up but it would be amazing if it’s true.

Xx

@Amy259 when would the 2 year mark be for you again?

Yeah same, no tracking for me either! Acupuncturist asked what cycle day I was on and for the first time in a long time I didn't even know; which he seemed happy about haha 😂

@suzy124 he was just so sweet and chatty and easy to feel comfortable with. I think it's like 19 or something 😂 loads at breakfast, couple at lunch then another load at tea. To be fair I was already taking a few before the nutritionist but they've all added up!

So glad that you're on the mend! That must have been horrible and so draining because sick! Has your OH been ok or poorly too?

Xx

Thank you both. Definitely on the mend now but just exhausted and last few days a blur! Honestly have no idea if it was food poisoning or not, just a guess.

Anyway well done @Amy259 for resisting this month, keep it up if you can! I really think it helps mentally and if nothing else you'll save some cash! What day is AF due? @HJen22 I'm really glad you've found an acupuncturist after all, I know what you mean about cute people I'm a sucker too. How many tablets you on now? X

@HJen22 thank you - I think they’ll either repeat the hycosy or just tell me to wait it out until the 2 year mark, I haven’t really heard of anyone being offered much else if it’s still unexplained up to that point. But I guess we’ll see!

@suzy124 oh no, you poor thing! That sounds awful. Are you feeling any better at all? Lots of rest and tlc I hope xxx

I’m okay thank you, 8dpo and pleased to say I haven’t bought or peed on any sticks yet 😂