Trying to conceive over 40

@Catconfusion I’m so sorry to hear it’s another chemical. It’s so horribly unfair isn’t it. Really sending you big hugs.

@SeagullSong welcome to the thread - these ladies are amazing.

I hope you don’t mind but I’ve come on to have a little vent. I’ve just had a horrible experience calling the EPU. As you know I’ve been bleeding since Monday getting heavier and heavier and I was expecting the worst. After some very painful cramping last night I n the early hours this morning I go up for the loo and passed what I believe was the pregnancy. So I called my local EPU to let them know and see what to do. The midwife I spoke to couldn’t not have been less empathetic if she tried. Her words were ‘ah yes I saw you after the scan last week, it’s was only a little sac wasn’t it’ and then ‘well thanks for letting us know, well done, it sounds like you are though the worst of it. If you want to keep your appointment for next Friday you can but if you like you can just take a preg test and call us when it’s negative’

That was it. Not once did she offer any sympathy for my loss, ask how I was feeling or ask if I was in any pain. I’m totally flabbergasted! I was geared up expecting the worst, but last Friday I left the EPU with her telling me it was still possible for the baby to catch up and to wait until my next scan for more news. Then when I called it was as if her attitude was ‘well of course you’ve mc what did you expect’.

I know they see this day in and day out but this is my 2nd mc in 4 months (4 MC in total now) and yet there was zero interest or sympathy.

Sorry just needed to get that off my chest 😣

So sorry for you @Catconfusion and congratulations to the BFPs, I've been so busy recently I've not had chance to catch up with everyone's news on here ☺️

So I had my consultation with Create Fertility this morning, but of a blow cause my AMH has dropped to 3.8 (was 11 two years ago) so I guess I should've expected bad news. Anyway, they've suggested we get started with IVF ASAP either natural modified or mild, we'll probably go with natural as the results for both would look at getting only a couple eggs anyway and the natural one is cheaper. Also the 3 package deal would only give us 26% success rate. So just trying to take it all in really. 😔

Thanks @October1979 it’s horrible isn’t it!? How are you getting on? Did you decide to take aspirin throughout your cycle. I’m wondering if it might be a good idea. Xx

Thanks @Mum2baby07 I think my progesterone is fine. No signs of issues. I have a long luteal phase and the blood test came back normal. The pessaries are something the GP prescribed as precaution after my first two losses. I took them until 16 weeks with my son and he was fine. Therefore I’m doing it this time just in case. I honestly think it’s more for my peace of mind.

We’ve got a fertility referral and as part of the process they do a progesterone test. You should be able to request one from your GP though if you’re worried. It’s a normal blood test you can have straight away at the Gp surgery. The results were back within a few days.

@Catconfusion so sorry to hear you’ve had another chemical. If you think you might be low in progesterone then I’ve been reading sweet potato and cruciferous vegetables in particular is great to eat during the luteal phase to boost levels naturally.

How long does it take to get tested for progesterone levels? My GP said she’d refer me and I assumed part of that will be to look at progesterone levels but are others being tested at GP surgeries?

Thanks @Marvellouslymadmum I actually had my progesterone checked last week as part of our fertility referral. The receptionist said it falls within the normal range so will call the doctor for the numerical result next week as I would have been starting to implant then. I use a progesterone pessary anyway as soon as I get a bfp so I doubt my levels are low but you never know.

@SeagullSong welcome and I’m sorry to hear you’ve needed surgery. It’s so hard feeling like your life is on hold until it happens or doesn’t. I have a friend who due to an ectopic pregnancy lad a tube removed. Her and her husband tried for a while then gave up as it wasn’t happening. About six months later she had some random stomach problems and it turned out she was six months pregnant and didn’t know. She now has a lovely dd. It is amazing how the body finds a way to conceive against all odds. I really hope you have some luck soon! Xx

Thanks @Littlemiss40andfabulous I’m not sure what managing down my expectations would look like. I guess I need to plan for it not happening. At the moment I’m not working and literally waiting to be pregnant again. I was very ill with hyperemesis while pregnant with ds1 so I know I probably won’t be able to work should it happen. Maybe I do need to get a job of some sort. I was a teacher before but feel it was a bit too stressful while ttc so maybe something else. I also probably need to find a way for ttc to tick away in the background rather than taking over. This cycle I didn’t temp but it led to all kinds of confusion about when I ovulated and when to do the hpt. Maybe I need an Ava so I'm monitoring but it’s not taking too much effort.

@Catconfusion I'm so sorry, have you had your progesterone checked? (I can't remember who has and who hasn't!) I would maybe speak to your go as there could be a reason they're not sticking? I turned 42 in March and thought I'd maybe want to stop by this point but I don't lol

Hi @SeagullSong and welcome you'll find lots of supportive lovely ladies here for any questions you have, it could still happen with one though!

Hello all, can I join the thread? Sorry for all of you experiencing losses and disappointment. I am almost 41 with a 5 year old DS, briefly TTC no.2 early last year but stopped when Covid hit. Since then I had an ovary and fallopian tube removed due to a cyst that caused twisting, so my chances are not great. Think I am ok with that but may feel differently if no luck in a few months. Also at a bit of a crossroads job wise but hanging on where I am to ensure full maternity leave- not in UK. Feel like everything is on hold until we do this or give up but don't want it to become all consuming.

@Catconfusion I'm so sorry that's happened again this month. No wonder it's been a roller coaster week for you.

I'm sorry you aren't pregnant yet as you imagined you would be. What would managing down your expectations look like for you? XxX

So I’ve had a rollercoaster of a week. I got a faint bfp on Monday which seemed to darken on Tuesday and Wednesday but I was a bit concerned it wasn’t getting dark enough. Today my Frer is barely there. I guess it’s another chemical.

I was so optimistic before now that it would just happen, but now I’m starting to think after three chemicals since Christmas that maybe it won’t. I’m 42 in a couple of weeks. I no way thought I’d reach that birthday without being pregnant but now it looks like I will. Maybe I need to manage down my expectations. Xx

@Honey2 I’m so sorry to hear about the bleeding. I hope you’re ok. Xx

@Littlemiss40andfabulous I’m so pleased all is well. Sounds very well deserved! Xx

@Honey2 I'm sorry you're bleeding, do hope everything is ok for you and if not it's over quickly so you can try and decide what you want to do

@Honey2 thanks and yes, pregnancy registered and made official today. Now to wait the long (up to) 4 weeks for the first booking in appointment (if we get that far).

I'm still rooting for you all and hoping I stay pregnant and you guys get to join me in the next month xxx

@Littlemiss40andfabulous forgot to say, sounds like you have had a tough journey so far! I’m glad you’ve found your lovely DH and so pleased the preg is going well. Did you ring the midwife this week?

@Mum2baby07 I’ve always tested my wee straight away 😂 I would say however that one step tests are generally rubbish (both opk and preg hcg ones) they don’t pick up your LH peak very well in my experience.

@October1979 @Geriatric1234 thanks for asking after me. The bleeding is still light at the moment - more than spotting, like a very light period. But I’m sure this is just the start, I’ve had period type cramps pretty constantly for the last 2 days. I wish it would just hurry up! Still toying with the idea of ‘one more try’ 🙈

Just marking my place x

@Mum2baby07 I've never had that on any of the tests I use, so I'm not sure I'm afraid. I don't think it would make that much difference though

Total change of topic and likely a very silly question as a newbie to ovulation testing but just got some cheap one step ovulation tests from Amazon and it says I need my sample to come to room temperature which takes approx 20 mins. I have neither the time nor patience for this - does anyone know if it will really make much difference if I test immediately?

@Littlemiss40andfabulous sorry to hear about your 1st husband 😞 I am glad your pregnancy is going well so far though!

@LouiseM1979 I'm afraid I've not got a clue as not doing ivf, you may find some answers on one of the ivf message boards? Or you could call the clinic and ask, I'm sure it'll be fine though. Hope everything goes ok for you

@Geriatric1234 from my own experiences I do know that pregnancy and having children doesn't have to change your life too much. I would absolutely nit be without my two teens as much as they drive me crazy and the asd/adhd is a challenge I won't lie BUT I've still been able to do a lot of things with my life so far, granted not as much as if I'd not had them but I've retrained twice in new things, have two degrees, run two businesses, been on a charity trek through the Grand Canyon with nobody I knew before hand for my 37th birthday (needed to do something for me) yet I've always been there for my children and have been the main caregiver all the time (their father is less than useless 😂) with them going to their fathers probably 200 days in the last 6 years since we split and he rarely looked after them before that. So it's entirely possible to still have your independence with children too just in a different way. Thought I'd throw that in there for you lol

Hi @LouiseM1979 I’m sure that won’t affect anything beyond the reactions you mentioned. Don’t stress yourself but call clinic and double check when you can. It’s be fine I’m sure as 30 minutes won’t affect temp beyond a few degrees, especially if it were mid-winter. Xxx

@Honey2 how is bleeding today? Are you okay? X