Trying to conceive over 40

@Littlemiss40andfabulous wonderful news and so thrilled to hear you are keeping well and by the sounds of it growing a lovely little baby very nicely! I’m glad morning sickness isn’t too awful as I know some people really suffer. You’ll have to keep us all posted and your news definitely boosts us all I’m sure!

@Mickymackyboobaaboo welcome. I’m 42 and thought my baby making years were long gone but after an unplanned pregnancy which resulted in a miscarriage I’m desperate now to try properly. You’ll find the ladies here so welcoming and supportive and loads of helpful advice too if you’re a novice like me!

Welcome to the new ladies. This is a lovely supportive thread.

@Lastyearttc I’ll also be 10dpo on Thursday and planning to test on a frer then.

Hello ladies

Do you mind if I join your thread, please?

I'm recently 42 and started TTC #2 some 14 months ago, though it took me 2 months for my period to arrive so it's really been 12 months altogether. My cycles used to be every 32-35 days but I brought that down to 29 days with maca powder, which seems to be regulating my hormones. I take 5mg of folic acid and 200mg of Ubiquinol daily. I'm also trying to give my diet an overhaul as I've let things get out of control and have gained around 2 stone in the last year.

I think I had a CP a few months ago but can't be certain. It was difficult to know for definite whether the line was an indent or not but I was convinced that it had some pink to it. My period arrived that afternoon. I'm currently in the TWW and if it doesn't happen for us this month I will be making an appointment with the GP just to check my levels etc. I don't think we will go down the route of IVF as it will be too expensive for us and we already have an amazing DD together so are thankful for that. We've discussed whether to stop if it hasn't happened for us by the time I'm 43.

I'm sorry to read of the losses and the awful things experienced by many of you but it's also encouraging to read some of the more positive posts.

I hope you are all doing well.

Thanks @Honey2 and @Marvellouslymadmum
I rang the gp this morning as the bleed seems more like a period now, and I'm feeling rough and it's 7 days early, they asked about bleeding after sex which I have had a few times, but only within a few days after my period so I didn't think anything of it as nhs website says that's still a period if the bleed is within 2 days. Gp wants me to go in for an examination and then likely refer me for ultrasound which freaking me out, also mentioned smear test. My sis has endo so it's probably that or ectropion I'm guessing. I cried lots after the call to gp as it's the first time I've been offered further investigation despite suffering heavy painful periods all my life, I've only ever had meds thrown at me before or evening primrose oil which obvs doesn't even touch the sides. Think it made me realise how much suffering I've been through when the nurse actually listened to me and responded empathically. Feeling a bit fed up of having a womb tbh.

Hi @Mum2baby07 and everyone else,

I am progressing nicely I think. 7 weeks and 2 days today and mild, intermittent nausea has set in. On a scale of one to ten it's a 1/2 and isn't putting me off my food when I eat it but making me aware of not wanting to eat much (and at the same time feel very hungry).

I'm also quite tired and needed 2 full on 20 minute naps yesterday where I literally couldn't keep my eyes open. Am glad I can work at my own pace from home at the moment.

This positive pregnancy came after my most despondent month yet, and was such a surprise. I really hope the same happens to you guys soon too x

@Littlemiss40andfabulous how are things going? I need some positive stories right now as been feeling a little down about everything this weekend. Anyone else feeling the same?

@Honey2 I think it's definitely worth seeing your gp and getting them to do some tests and speaking to them about recurrent mc, they should be investigating for you

Hi @Portlandia I've not had cramping around implantation with my pregnancies but did have ib with one of them, it was just very light and there when I wiped for a few days

@Catconfusion thanks I think I will book a call with the GP. Fingers crossed I get a good one!

@Lastyearttc yes I second the First response early tests - both times I’ve got an obvious line at 10dpo. Good luck!

@Portlandia welcome! I had cramping and some implantation bleeding when I conceived last month.. bleeding was very very light and lasted for 3 days. Sadly I lost the preg but I don’t think that was anything to do with the bleeding. Good luck I hope you get a positive test xx

@October1979 I was a fan of aspirin - my consultant prescribed it after my late loss as they were concerned about anti phospholipid syndrome. Most of the reading I have done says it can only do more good than harm. Personally I have decided NOT to take it if I go for TTC next month. I have taken it the last 2 months and both times when I had early scans there spotted a bleed next to the pregnancy sac. Could be completely unrelated but I have decided to try without this time and see if that makes any difference. I am 99% sure my mc’s were bad eggs, but I am going to try without.

@October1979
Thanks for the welcome and for sharing your experience, I am sorry to hear of your struggles, it must be an emotional roller-coaster for you, hope things are on the up for you soon.
If I'm still bleeding and cramping after tomorrow I'm going to seek advice from a gp, and/or take a frer. X

Hey @October1979 I'm 6dpo... so got a WHOLE week until af due. I'm actually going away on a girlie trip on Friday so I might test then so I know whether to drink or not! I'll be 11dpo then so any advice which test to buy in advance would be great anyone? I've got ics but know they are notoriously bad for showing positives until late. I need confirmation Friday am 😂
So hard this ttc are our age... one day I'm like, yes it's totally possible, the next the chances are so small I need to move on

Hi Everyone, OK if I join the thread? I'm 40 and ttc for the first time (previously married and thought I didn't want children but have now met someone who I want to parent with).
I stopped taking the pill last Aug, periods have been regular 24/25 day cycles (apart from one cycle that was 5 days longer than normal). I'm currently on day 19 of my cycle and started cramping and light bleeding yesterday, 6 days before AF due. Feels like period cramping, though a bit less blood and more watery, I'm wondering if it is implantation bleeding or something else. Anyone else had cramping and bleeding at the implantation stage? I know it's different for everyone.
Thanks all x

@Honey2 I’m so sorry about your bad experience with the midwife. It sounds like a truly awful time. I hope you recover quickly.

Yes I’d definitely speak to the GP. Ask you get your thyroid and vitamin D levels checked plus a full blood count. If you’re not wanting a referral it’s still worth having a chat with the Gp to see if there’s anything they can suggest. Some gps are clueless about progesterone. I really had to fight to get it. Luckily I found a good GP with a gynae interest. Sadly she’s retired now but she gave me the prescription for progesterone and then I had my ds. When we fell pregnant after Christmas my new GP said I couldn’t have the progesterone as there’s no evidence it works. Tommy’s did the prism trial and it did seem to save some pregnancies. I talked my Gp into letting me have it. I was also told to take aspirin from bfp. Some doctors say take it all the time.

It might be worth asking how long a referral to recurrent miscarriage clinic might take. It might not be too long. I really hope you get some answers. Xx

@99pctpractice thanks for your kind words. I think I must have had bad luck with this midwife as most others I have encountered have always been kind. I also thought they would want to scan and check all had been passed but it seems in my area they are satisfied with a negative preg test. The other thing I was upset about was the fact that there was no thought that I might have to have some kind of discussion about why it happened, likelihood of it happening again (for the 3rd time in a row) and if there was anything I could do to change the result. I know at 41 likely hood is it’s simply bad eggs and MC caused by chromosomal abnormalities. However I would still appreciate a professional view! Surely they can spare me 10 mins for that??

I was going to ask - @Geriatric1234 @Catconfusion do you think it’s worth me making an appointment with the GP and seeing if I can get my bloods done and perhaps thiroid checked? Also asking the gp about Progesterone supplements?? I could probably get a referal but to be honest I do t think there is much point as if we do decide to try again in with but 1 last go. And I dont want to wait 6 months to see anyone.

@Honey2 I have been a bit of a lurker on this thread, but just wanted to say how sorry i am to hear that you had a miscarriage as well as how heartlessly the midwife you spoke to was. I had a miscarriage at around 10 weeks (although the stage of development was around 5/6 weeks I think) and found the process pretty traumatic - it sounds like we may have had a similar experience of late night contractions and some intensive time on the toilet, so I hope you’re feeling ok and are taking a bit of time for yourself to recover. I was much more sympathetically treated at the UCLH early pregnancy unit though and they insisted that I come in for two scans afterwards even though I had processed the miscarriage myself because at the first scan there was still some residual tissue and they wanted to make sure everything had passed and there wasn’t any tissue left, otherwise they might have had to do a dnv (not sure if that’s how you spell it?). Fingers crossed that wouldn’t be necessary but in your position I would probably want to get a scan to make sure that everything is ok (especially if you might try again).

Sending lots of virtual hugs! And I hope you get more compassionate care if you do go in.

@Catconfusion so sorry to hear about the chemical :-( I feel like time passes soooo fast in TTC… I keep thinking how crazy it was that we had a “surprise” and nothing since. I’m 43 in August, which is when the MC would’ve been born. I don’t think about it too much in a depressing way or anything, but it is crazy how time flies!

@Honey2 ohhhh soooo upsetting. I know they’re kinda trying to not make you feel worse by not making it a “big deal” but when I had my MC the Epu midwife was an angel and it really made all the difference.

Hi @SeagullSong and so sorry to hear about your surgery. But one side is operational and that’s all you need!

@Sabtom don’t stress about AMH. Only matters for “proper” IVF, if you’re going natural IVF (really interested to hear how this turns out as I liked the sound of it) or natural conception I think it’s fine.

Xx

Hi all, I missed that there was a new thread so have caught up now! Thought it went a bit quiet haha
I'm in tww now, although bd timing awful this cycle with 3 days before and 1 day after ovulation Hope for more especially after paying private for the hycosy... hey ho, still a small chance I suppose!

How's everyone else doing?

@Catconfusion ahh that's good, especially that you have the progesterone to use when you do get the bfp too!

@sabtom sorry to hear about your amh dropping but at least they're getting you straight onto the ivf

@Honey2 I'm so sorry this has happened to you again, it's similar to the experience I had with my first mc at the epu, I felt totally on my own with it all! I know they do see it all the time but we don't and we are upset amd feeling alone so they should definitely be more tactful! Have you spoken to your doc about recurrent m/c? They should do some investigations for you to find out why it's happening

Oh @Honey2 - I'm so very sorry for your loss. You certainly didn't need to deal with that phone call on top of what you're experiencing just now. A 4th lost is incredibly difficult to deal with; I've had 3 and my heart goes out to you. Take good care of yourself xx

@Honey2 firstly so sorry for your loss and also so sorry it was made worse by your encounter with that midwife! Yes they probably do see it every day but for each woman calling into them that’s their baby and often a longed for one too I imagine! I was fortunate that the nurse I spoke to when I reported my mc couldn’t have been lovelier and called me for the next two days to check I was ok. Now that’s proper care!

If you have the energy you could contact PALS at your hospital to report the service you received as I agree it’s not good enough.

Look after yourself

@Honey2 that's an appalling and very untactful way to be spoken too and I'm not surprised you need to vent. Absolutely vent away to us here.

You didn't deserve that and have every right to mourn the loss of this as well as your other little babies.

Sending love and hugs your way and hope you have people around you who are more sympathetic xx