Trying to conceive over 40

@Peaceandcalm it’s completely understandable to have been traumatised by your mmc. I had one too at 10 weeks when I was 39. It was my first ever pregnancy and we were devastated. I was aware it was something that could happen but when you Google it, statistically it seems quite unlikely, although since then I’ve come to realise it’s something many women go through and I don’t think it’s talked about nearly enough.

After another early loss I conceived my ds just after I turned 40. He’s now 16 months and I’m 9 weeks pregnant after three early losses since January. I’ve had two scans and baby is doing very well. I’m 42 as well and this baby is due 3/4/22.

I know it’s difficult to believe your baby will be ok after all you’ve been through but your chances are really good. Most losses will happen before 6 weeks. Of course something could still go wrong but with each passing week your odds go up. Will you have a reassurance scan? It’s really helped us to see the baby growing and know everything looks normal.

I know you’ve had a traumatic experience in the past but many women in their 40s have healthy babies. Mcs are common in all groups of women. Yes a bit more common for us but pregnancy loss does not mean a healthy pregnancy cannot happen. Each conception is different.

I’ve got my fingers crossed for you and I hope all is well for you. I think you’ll find this thread really supportive. Xx

Hi everyone, I started reading part of the thread today. I was reluctant to rejoin MN after my MMC two years ago, but I wanted to have a space where I could talk with women who share similar experiences to me.

I recently turned 42 and my partner is a little younger at 35. I am currently just over 6 weeks pregnant. The only other pregnancy I am aware of was two years ago, which – as I mentioned – resulted in a MMC at 10 weeks. This had a devastating impact on me and triggered a number of anxieties. If this pregnancy is successful I shall give birth next year April at the same, tender age of 42 ; ) I didn’t actually think I would conceive again – although I always remained hopeful (at least I tried).

I’m taking each day as it comes as I know the potential risks. Fortunately, unlike my last pregnancy I don’t have the same compulsion to do multiple tests or count down each day. In fact, I only became aware of the pregnancy when my period never came. After 5-6 days I thought I should probably do a test. By placing less focus on the pregnancy I can keep my anxiety at bay.

It also helps to hear the success stories of others. That raises a smile to my face. Congratulations to everyone who is currently pregnant and to those who, despite the set-backs, are still holding onto hope and are on their own journey TTC.

With all good wishes!

Oh no @ponymum1980 I’m so sorry to hear that. How horrible! Sending love and hoping for speedy recovery. My DH was so optimistic during our losses. I don’t think they get how strong those pregnancy symptoms are. I hope you’re wrong and you get a surprise but if not be gentle with yourself. Xx

Started cramping and spotting yesterday and have lost the pregnancy symptoms by this morning. No cramping or spotting since, and the doctor I spoke to was lovely. Think it was bang on the 5 week mark. Miscarriage hasn't started properly but just sad. We have to test again in a week if things haven't started happening. My OH is optimistic because I'm not cramping or bleeding now but I don't think he really understands the not feeling pregnant (constant nausea, constant eating, drinking, peeing, tiredness). Being gentle with myself today while he's at work.

Hi girls, hope you're good.
Does anyone use the clear blue ovulation tests? My period is almost finished.. anyone that uses them when do you start?
Thanks xx

@Littlemiss41andfabulous - thanks you. I'll see if I can get hold of it. X

That's encouraging @Lastyearttc, AF has just turned up for me today, it was my first cycle after coming off desogestrel (which I'd been on for just 6 weeks or so), so I'm not too surprised. Fingers crossed for next month for me and anyone else who's out for this month xx

@ponymum1980 this is a book my cousin bought for me once I'd had my 12 week scan. She bought it because she'd found it really useful when pregnant with her first.

I'm really enjoying it - there's a 'page per day' of pregnancy with facts and pictures and things to consider at that stage of pregnancy.

Thank you @ponymum1980 I will give that book a look. No recommendations as such as I’ve always just looked online at reputable sites for information.

The hormones have made me very unwell. I’ve had extreme nausea and vomiting for the last three weeks. Obviously over the moon that the pregnancy is progressing but it’s so hard being this ill. Xx

Send love and best wishes to everyone. Getting to grips with the early pregnancy symptoms. Those hormones are something else. Has anyone got any good book recommendations for pregnancy. I' finding The Mindful Pregnancy very helpful but I wondered what books were actually helpful or whether I'm better with reputable online resources like the NHS guides.

Since I had my DD at 38, I have fallen pregnant at 40, 41 and 42. Each taken 12-18mths ttc. Just turned 43 with a bfp but very, very early days.

I can't remember who asked, but as my name suggests, I was going to give it to the end of this year to have a baby before I turn 44 next August.

Hang in there ladies, it just takes one good egg xxx

Welcome @Kracken! I am new here too :)
That's so great your Mum is excited and happy for you! It's so silly but I haven't told anyone except one friend for fear of being judged.. it's nobody's bloody business!
It certainly sounds as though something is happening for you! I'll cross my fingers for you

Hi everyone, I've read some of this thread which seems like a lovely supportive place so am hoping to join in!

I am 41 (42 in December) and have been TTC my third child (but my partner's first) for eight cycles (I had my copper coil removed last December). I have two DDs from my previous relationship who are 13 and 9. I am starting to worry about DP and I being able to get pregnant and we are both having the fertility checks offered on the NHS next month. I am fairly confident I am ovulating okay as I have been using the clearblue ovulation sticks and ensuring we DTD on the high and peak fertility days as well as other times of the month before and after the fertile period. My cycles are every 28 days like clockwork and every period has been bang on time each month. I'm finding I get really upset now when my period arrives and feel rubbish for a few days which I know I need to get over as it's starting to affect my relationship with my partner. I feel guilty that we didn't start trying earlier. We could have but our communication about it was rubbish and I wasn't sure if he really wanted a baby and he wasn't sure if I did! But we both really do.

I am on holiday with my mum and daughters and have confided in her that I am trying to get pregnant and she was really supportive and excited. I actually thought she might disapprove because of my age! So I feel like it would be good to start to talk to other people about it too a bit. I'm not great with all the abbreviations (sorry if I get them wrong!) but I am currently 8 post ovulation with my period due in 8 days. I have had very odd continuous lower back pain and lower tummy pain for the last four hours or so which I haven't experienced before, I had to take paracetamol which is unusual for me as I don't get period pains at all really. So not sure what that is, definitely doesn't feel like how my period does when it is about to start but having read about implantation pain it doesn't seem to fit that either!

Sorry for massive post.

@feelingkenty so sorry to hear that, that must be incredibly painful to go through. Sending hugs. Xx

@feelingkenty
I am so sorry to read that, absolutely utterly devastating. Big hugs to you. It's not the same but our second was born with a rare genetic condition (one of eight in the world!) he is severely disabled. We didn't think we could go through another pregnancy again (although that pregnancy was normal and we didn't know until birth). But we are now ready.. we don't know how long we will have him 😢
His condition is a fluke, not hereditary x

Thank you @Honey2 I really appreciate it. Xx

@Catconfusion I’m thrilled for you. It’s sounding really really positive xx

Thank you ladies, it’s made all the vomiting totally worth it. You know how it is though, it’s on to the next hurdle which is the 10 week scan in two weeks. Xx

@Mattieandmummy I've also had a diagnosis of adenomyosis since my third (which I had treatment for when I had no plans of TTC a 4th). Also suffered from endometriosis which was diagnosed when I was 26 so very lucky to have had my three (lucky until I had a child die of terminal illness obviously)

^^Thought!

I am 41. Originally I though my cut of date would be if I was pregnant by 42 and 3 months so any baby was born by the time I was 43 but we'll see.

I had three children at ages 34, 36 and 38 but due to tragic circumstances have decided to TTC a fourth. DH has had a vasectomy reversal. This is my second cycle TTC I guess

@Catconfusion awesome news!! Must be such a relief.

@Mattieandmummy I’m so sorry you had that experience. The whole ttc experience is hard enough already without having the additional layers that you have had to deal with. Due to different circumstances, but I also delayed trying for a second for longer than I would have liked and now am so worried that it won’t happen given that I’m 40 and have a v low AMH. I’m not sure how long we’ll keep trying for….it feels so all consuming from an emotional perspective.

@Mattieandmummy Aww my love.. you've not had an easy time. Sending you love & hoping you get a positive result soon ❤️

@Littlemiss41andfabulous that certainly is fabulous news ❤️ when are you due?x