Trying to conceive over 40

@October1979 I was thinking about your case - I think a second opinion about this situation would be quite useful for you and this can be achieved by a private scan or even combining this with an early pregnancy gynaecologist. Why I am saying this - when I was pregnant with my 1st, I did all scans both privately and withNHS. I always felt I needed more information as I wanted to know more while with nhs scan it was “here are legs, here are hands, we’ll see you at 20 weeks scan”. I wanted more thourough scan so went privately all times too.
I was also bleeding up to 10 weeks and NHS was not concerned- says it’s very often. While an early pregnancy gynaecologist (doing scans too) prescribed me progesterone pessaries and told me to continue till the end. NHS told it’s not necessary as they were not concerned about bleeding while private was.
All I want to say, in some situations a second opinion helps a lot so if it helps you to feel safer and less anxious probably it’s worth doing that.

@Geriatric1234 I’m good today thanks. My morning test was as dark as the control and I’m feeling pretty sick so all very reassuring. I feel so silly for losing it yesterday. I’ve officially got further than the previous three pregnancies so I’m hoping it’s a good sign. We’ve decided to tell family when I miss AF. I’m already struggling a bit with our toddler as he’s everywhere at the moment so figure we might need some help.

Have a good time with your friend tonight. Remember it’s ok to not drink without an excuse. She shouldn’t be asking why. Xx

@Geriatric1234 I got a negative at 9dpo and then a positive at 10dpo with ds. I’ve found it’s usually 9dpo or 10dpo. However this pregnancy was 8dpo. Could you just have one glass of wine? Could you drive or make an excuse about an early start? It’s tough as you’re a day or two from ruling it out. I think if I’d got to 12 dpo and no bfp I’d call it.

@October1979 sorry the scan has left so many uncertainties and I hope that you'll still see that lovely heartbeat on your next scan too. I hope you have a busy week/weeks ahead of you to help keep you distracted, and to help the time pass more quickly. X

How are you feeling today @Catconfusion? Xxx

@October1979 it’s just all so frustrating. My friend had a large sac at 12 weeks and they suspected genetic issue but she went in to have successful pregnancy and no genetic issues. Before my MC I had a viability scan booked for 7+2 and it was really cheap - about £40- so if you can I’d deffo have that. Two weeks feels like a lifetime when you don’t know what’s happening. X

9 dpo, cd 19 (early ovulater!) and just tested as going to friends tonight and want to know if I can have a glass of wine or two. BFN.

The vibe I’m getting from tests here is that beyond 8dpo I should at least have a squinter if it’s a successful cycle? Or am I being too simplistic? Has anyone had a negative at 9dpo and then a BFP? Only really debating this because I had significant cramping on 5dpo, which is unusual.

Urgh. Hate this mid-point. And if I don’t drink this will immediately tell my friend something is going on (I always drink! 🤣) and I don’t like anyone knowing my private stuff.

Thanks ladies!!

Thanks @99pctpractice I guess I thought if I got another bfp I’d take it easy and do everything I could to help it progress. You know that feeling of, if I get the chance again I’ll do better at self care. Not that there’s much you can do. The tooth extraction was a real spanner in the works.

My dentist did an amazing job and was so kind. Totally safety conscious and took every precaution to protect me and the pregnancy. If anyone else ends up with something similar, very early first trimester and second are good times to get dental work done if it can’t wait. They try and avoid from week 4-12 but even then is considered safe in an emergency. I’m just relieved it’s done. Xx

@October1979 I’m really hoping in your case there’s an exception. There must be cases where it works out, especially with a strong heartbeat. I have everything crossed for you. Xx

@October1979 Sorry - worried I sound like I’m minimising the emotions around knowing you have a non-viable twin in there. I’m not meaning to do that if I am. That was a clumsy attempt to be (genuinely) positive about the viable bean. Xx

Oh @October1979 I know that’s not the news you hoped for but I think “vanishing twins” are relatively common, it’s just most women aren’t having scans as early as we all do, so it’s not detected. If it is a vanishing twin just bear in mind your POAS may not get darker and might even get lighter for a week or two. I really don’t think this is a warning of impending doom.

Oh gosh @October1979 great that there was a strong heartbeat and fingers crossed that the other twin catches up. It’s still at an early stage so agree with others that it might be worth getting another scan privately if you can. Don’t beat yourself up about not asking the questions you’re thinking of now - it was a completely unknown situation and not something you could have prepared for. Really hope that it all works out and that you have a lots to distract yourself with the next week or so.

@Catconfusion definitely still a positive test! Totally understandable to be anxious given you had to have the dental work. hopefully the tests keep going in the right direction!!

Well I’m feeling a lot better now. Thank you so much everyone for being the voices of reason. I think with my sore mouth, toddler raising hell and this early pregnancy I was feeling very overwhelmed. My evening test was much darker and I’m feeling more chilled. I’m 12 dpo and this is the day it’s gone wrong with the previous ones so I think I’ve been on edge because of that as well. The peril of finding out early is the long wait to miss AF. AF is due on Tuesday so still a way to go but I’m really glad I’ve got further than the three losses this year. I guess we’ll see what happens xx

@October1979 such a shame your partner couldn’t come in. It must have been a lot to take in. For now relax as much as you can. We’re here to chat when/if you need to. Xx

@Mum2baby07 I’m really sorry to hear this! Xx

@October1979 see how you get on. It might be a private scan can give you more insight into what’s going on. It doesn’t sound like the sonographer gave you much insight. Hopefully you’ll be one of the ones with a good outcome. Xx

@birdbybird yes I tested today. One day past AF which doesn’t sound a lot but I’m usually like clockwork and a rare night out planned so wanted to know if I could drink or not… bfn so back to it again next month!

@October1979 was this NHS scan or private? Usually the private ones do a very thorough scan with tiny details. I would suggest to do a private one if it wasn’t today. It’s not worth waiting 2 weeks and being stressed and nervous.

@October1979 I think I’d go for a private appointment either soon if you feel you can’t wait or in about a week. Two weeks is a long time to wait at the moment to minimise stress and heartache. Are the twins in separate sacs? Hopefully next time the sac will have stabilised. Xx

@sabtom thank you. I hope the lack of symptoms continues. I’ve just had a nap and woke up nearly vomiting. I was very ill throughout my pregnancy with ds and even my mmc and other losses. I’m very sensitive to the hormones so it’s a bit jarring to not feel ill. I think it was the pain from the dental work distracting me as I now feel pretty sick again. xx

@Catconfusion it's ok to have a wobble every now and again, we're here to help you get through it  Also I hardly have any pregnancy symptoms, and the slight ones I did have have gone now, and I only seem to be tired and have sore boobs every now and again 🤷🏻‍♀️. I think my symptoms were more pronounced last year with the MMC.

@October1979 a strong heartbeat at 6weeks? I'm so happy for you! Could it be possible twin two could catch up? It's a horrible place to be, in limbo, but again, we're here to help you get through it