Trying to conceive over 40

@Catconfusion so glad everything is moving in the right direction! not surprising that you were anxious given everything that was going on. plus pregnancy hormones!! must be a relief to see the lines getting darker!

welcome, @anirek . yes, it's so hard to get your hopes up each month and then get AF after all...but there's always next month :)

hello @43andtrying , sounds like you have had a rough time of it. fingers crossed it will happen for you - i know what you mean, with my first (and a MC before that) i was pregnant basically first time of trying. now, not so much...!

Hi everyone. Congratulations to those of you who are pregnant and hello to those who are trying.

I'm new here... I'm 43 and had a miscarriage last year and one the year before at 7 and 11 weeks. Both would have been due in April and my two DC both were born in April so I'm hoping this is the month for me. We've not really been timing things - it's felt like there's been something on each month to distract us though this month we've been going for it 😂

My DH is older than me and doesn't have his own children and this feels like our last ditch attempt. We went for fertility tests 2 years ago. My fertility was in line with my age but his SA was low. I feel like the odds are against us but along side the MC we've had 2 chemical pregnancies so I know we can do it.

Anyway that's me, wistfully reflecting on getting pregnant without trying when I was younger and then sailing through pregnancy and birth. Compared to now when I feel like I'm past it!

@Marvellouslymadmum RIGHT?!? I’m like “errr…you did it before Body, do it again!”

Hi everyone.

Thanks for letting me join. I think we’re on cycle #7. I’ve been trying to be chilled out about it but I’m just fooling myself. I was so gutted yesterday to see sporting. It wasn’t there this morning but even that doesn’t give me hope as it has stopped and started in previous months too. I have googled implantation bleeding to death and I just know its not that. The only time I didn’t spot before AF was with my bfp’s.

@Catconfusion that’s amazing to get test lines darker than control lines on ic’s. They never went dark for me!

I love to see photos of bfp’s. I think I’m mental! Haha

@Catconfusion thank you, I'm just dreading being dismissed again!

@Geriatric1234 it's totally frustrating! We had a bfp by accident back in 2017 which ended in mc and now zero zip zilch! It's like our bodies are teasing us!

@Mattieandmummy I read that it can be different for everyone, I guess it just makes me want to blame it when I'm not getting pg!

Also @catconfusion congratulations on being officially pregnant... Not that you weren't before but now you've missed your period and it always feels more real when that happens

Thanks everyone for the supportive words, I actually had my first 28 day cycle since my daughter last month.... So maybe we have turned a corner 🤞

I also met a lovely lady at the weekend with severe adenomyosis, she takes pain killers every day and she was pregnant with her 5th child. She said adenomyosis is different for everyone and not to give up so easily, basically gave me a bit of a kick up the bottom which I think I needed.

My NHS fertility appointment basically said yes you have it, there's no treatment, don't worry about it and yes it effects your fertility 😬 hence the specialist appointment! I'll let you know how it goes @marvellouslymafmum, it's in two weeks.

Welcome @anirek x

Morning all!

Hi @Honey2 I haven’t! I will probably test again on Friday as I’m not doing anything booze related through the week 🤣🤦🏻‍♀️ I figure I’ll wait as long as poss so I can be confident in the result.

Am at the hormone point in my cycle where I get deflated and think “why am I even bothering?” I can’t understand how we had a BFP on cycle #1 and now when we are timing everything so carefully we can’t get one! It’s very frustrating!!

Welcome @anirek xx

As for me I’ve officially missed AF and am now 16 dpo. My ics are darker than the control line. I’m also feeling quite nauseous. Annoying my tummy is huge and bloated so hiding it is really hard. I had to wear the baggiest of tops at a family bbq on Sunday. I think we’ll tell parents this week as I had severe sickness with ds so might need some support. My anxiety is a lot better but I did wake up this morning convinced I was bleeding. Luckily was just increased cm. It’s going to be a long couple of weeks until we can have a scan. Xx

@anirek I’m so sorry it’s been such a difficult journey for you. Fingers crossed for good news soon. This is a very supportive thread. Xx

Thanks @Marvellouslymadmum I’m so sorry you’re having such long cycles again. It’s so frustrating. My ds was conceived on cd 33 and this baby cd 28 so it can happen late in. I’m hoping you get good support at your appointment next month. Xx

@birdbybird if you’ve been trying for over 6 months and over 35 you should be getting a referral. With the waiting times for appointments at the moment it’s not acceptable to say come back in a few months. Could you speak to a different doctor? Xx

Welcome to the group @anirek x

@birdbybird yes I'm cd31 and 4dpo at last! I have false ovulation a few times in a row before it actually happens. Last month was a 51 days cycle I think, this won't be far off 🤷🏼‍♀️ this is cycle 40 ttc for me 😞

@Marvellouslymadmum how long is this cycle so far?
Any idea when you ovulated?

Welcome @anirek!

Are you on your 7th or 8th cycle? A lot of us are in the same boat.
I'm Cycle 8 myself. I'll add you to our list!

Some days I can be quite "if it happens it happens" and other days I'm scouring the internet looking for clues as to when I can expect to get a BFP. Today happens to be one of "those" days :(

CD6 here... and should be entering fertile week about now.
How is everyone else?
Spoke to the doctor today and he said to give it another 3 months and then call him. And that if I have regular cycles then I'm probably ovulating.

Sorry I've been mia, on my second loooong cycle in a row and just been going through the motions before my gynae appointment in august really.

@Honey2 sorry for what you're going through, hopefully the docs will have some answers for you and help you!

@Geriatric1234 I kept adding lots of supplements in and I think that may have contributed to my long cycles, though I can't be sure as it was all fine for ages and now it's gone haywire

@Catconfusion that's exactly what I was told with the wait for gynae back in March but I got my appointment through for august instead so not too bad. Massive congratulations so so pleased for your bfp and hoping for your sticky little bean!

@99pctpractice that's so odd what they said about you not getting pregnant naturally with a low amh as my understanding is that as long as it's not zero you still have a chance naturally, it's more if an indicator of how ivf will work for you.

@Mattieandmummy I know exactly how you're feeling about it never happening, I feel the same. That's good news about the adenomyosis specialist though, I may look into something similar if I don't get much help at my nhs gynae appointment

@Littlemiss41andfabulous so pleased your scan went well

@sabtom great news about your scan absolutely lovely to see

@October1979 do try not to worry, they can't always see a heart beat at 6 weeks plus twins tend to be smaller as they're both trying to feed, 🤞🏻 everything is ok

@anirek hi and welcome, this is a lovely group of supportive ladies

Hi everyone. Wondered if I could dip my toe in the water of joining this thread?

Reading this thread has had me on such a rollercoaster of emotions. I am so sorry for all of you experiencing heartache, and wish the BFP's amongst huge congratulations.

Our TTC journey started 6 years ago when I was 34. In 2019 we finally got our BFP. But it wasn't meant to be and our beautiful little boy was too good for this earth and was born sleeping at 18 weeks. Once we had the all clear from the endless tests and genetic testing that followed, we managed to get pregnant again and this time, our dreams came true and we now have the most mischievous nearly 2 year old in the world.

I will be 41 in September and we are now ttc a sibling for our daughter and I very much feel like I am 'getting on a bit'. Given our track record we do not fall pregnant easily. We started in January and have had no luck so far. I have short cycles (ave 26 days sometimes less) and spot every month for a few days before AF. This month being no exception. CD21 today and the brown spotting has started. Sigh.

Please can I join this thread to offer support and hopefully get some back?

@October1979 I think you may have a good point there. If you’re feeling ok and no bleeding there probably isn’t anything else you can do. I guess an earlier scan might give you some reassurance or it might cause more anxiety. I’ll be thinking of you. Do you have a date for the next scan? Xx

@Honey2 Enjoy! no holidays here. Holidays during fertile week are banned for us! :D
CD6 here so not far behind you.

Hi @October1979 that’s a good point. When I went for a second private scan I had continuous spotting. No spotting/bleeding and no pain sounds like a good sign.

How are you feeling @October1979 ? Xx

Hey @Honey2 have a lovely holiday. I can imagine it’ll be hard to try on close quarters 😂.

All good here thanks. The test lines are getting darker and I’m getting more nauseous. My tummy is huge so it was hard to hide at a family bbq yesterday. I tend to blow up like a balloon in early pregnancy 😂. Yes we will book in for an early scan. I’m 15 dpo today so AF would have come tomorrow. I’m waiting until after that to call the doctor. He did say after three miscarriages we could have an early nhs scan so hopefully I can get it booked. Will aim for 6 plus 3ish. It’s still sinking in that this is happening. Xx

Hi all how is everyone doing?
@Geriatric1234 did you test again?
@October1979 I hope you are ok, do you think you’ll go for a private scan?
@Catconfusion so pleased the tests are still nice and dark. Are you booking in for an early scan?

I’m CD 11 today and off on holiday in a caravan for a week with the family 😆 TTC this month could be interesting!!