Trying to conceive over 40

Been off the pill now since late March and still feel like my hormones are in a bit of a state of flux - short cycles of about 22-25 days and ovulating day 12-13 with obvious physical signs. Read 'It Starts with an Egg' and I've made big lifestyle changes with diet, exercise, supplements (coenzyme q10, vit d, folic acid and just ordered Angus castus) and mediation mindfulness. Lifestyle choices seem to be making my cycles slightly longer. 1st covid jab (Pfizer)knocked me hard and had a super heavy period after it but I've been fine after the second. It's just so weird because I've seen so many friends go through years of fertility struggles but it's different when it's you. You have the fear of getting pregnant any time you have sex based on sex ed at school, and then in reality it's really hard when you really want it to happen. I wanted to get my jabs and get the pony home from backing and enjoy riding before we conceived but I still have a nagging doubt we left it too late. Off for two weeks now so planning on healthy eating, relaxation and lots of riding.

Thank you all for the info on fertility clinics! I am a bit worried about it being a slippery slope and we said we wouldn’t do it initially (as we have secondary infertility so already have one DS), but some months when I get my period I feel so down. So here we are!

I booked my consultation for September, I’m not sure what they’ll recommend we go for because of low sperm count. But interested to see!

@Marvellouslymadmum you're right, going to contact GP this week and ask for first set of tests, think it's 21 day bloods? And thanks for tip about iron, I had low levels during pregnancy and had to take ferrous fumarate so could be worth asking GP. My cycles came back when DS was 11 months and have been fairly consistent since then. I also got a BFP in March so don't think it is that. I tried weaning him a few weeks ago which didn't go well so sticking with it for now!

@Unicorn9 believe me I have my ups and downs about it all lol iron is a really important one so it may be worth getting it checked, I've had Loads and loads of blood tests to check for pretty much everything, progesterone levels, Lh, fsh, oestrogen etc etc internal and external scans, pelvic exam. And yes baby aspirin 75mg for the whole month. It's doesn't work for everyone but it has for some

@Marvellouslymadmum did they use aspirin from after their period? I would try anything tbh!!

@Marvellouslymadmum you sound so optimistic about it all… can I have some of it plse?!

What tests did they run for u? I haven’t had iron levels checked so maybe I should…

@Jem1979 yes deffo better to get the ball rolling as it can take an age to get tests etc done. My oh isn't keen on ivf either so likely to just be natural for us too but it's good to know if any issues, from the tests I've had I found I had terrible iron levels which are now where they should be, I have adenomyosis and possible endometriosis which could both be stopping it happening for us. I know breast feeding can be an issue for some but I think that's only if your cycles haven't returned - could be wrong though. I believe I'm the same age as you going by your user name and I'm always worried about it but also know plenty of people that have managed it!

@Unicorn9 it's not worked for me but nothing has lol I think endo/adeno is the culprit for that so hopefully after my appointment in 3 weeks I'll get referred for a laparoscopy which may hopefully clear as much as possible and give us a chance!! But I've been on a thread with three other women who all took the baby aspirin 75mg the whole month and conceived

@Catconfusion aww I totally understand, I lost my lab when he was almost 16 - he did so well and it was devastating, I'd had him since before I had my children! Glad he's ok for the moment xx

@Keeptrying7 welcome, I've not been to a fertility clinic myself but have spoken to lots of lovely ladies that have and depending on their cycles it's generally 1-3 months after initial consultation

Hi @Keeptrying7 !

We had our fertility tests done in July, had our first consultation at the clinic we’re going with on 22 July and are planning on starting ivf in august (some time from 8/10 Aug). So I think it can be pretty fast, but it depends how busy the clinic you want to go with is and when they can fit you in. The consultant I initially wanted to go with couldn’t see me for 3 months (he’s actually at Evewell), so we are now going with the recommendation of a friend (who’s 36 weeks pregnant after going through ivf with our consultant…). I didn’t have the best experience at Evewell (v disorganised), but they do seem to have very good success rates.

Sorry you’re feeling low, it sucks getting your period when you’re ttc. I have low AMH so we just decided to go for ivf now, rather than continuing to try for 6 months when the chances of success are pretty low and then regretting not trying ivf earlier…

@Keeptrying7 I was thinking if you can only get a consult with a U.K. fertility clinic in September them why not do a free consult on Skype with an ivf clinic abroad? Maybe they could answer some of your questions before u try the U.K. consult?!?

@Keeptrying7 I’m not really in the right place to offer much advice as we tried ivf and ICSi and got 3 euploid embryos in the end but every one of them failed to implant. And I’ve just had the last failure so not in a good place.

In my personal experience I have had 7 miscarriages, 5 in 18 months so wanted some hope that if we just put normal ones back then it would work. But for you it’s different as it’s a sperm issue so this would all help surely and then at least you would know you tried. I would try sooner rather than later and I would try go for somewhere where you can get two cycles and free FET. We didn’t and it ended up costing thousands on everything when it was done.

I wouldn’t do pgt testing now ourselves as all ours came back normal but if I did do it then if I had enough eggs I would still do a fresh transfer and then get the rest tested. I wouldn’t bother with an ERA as it didn’t help us just cost £1500 for nothing but it did give us the reassurance that the timing we had was at least right.

It’s a can of worms that is opened that makes you wonder what if I try this or this or this.

I would ask the consultant how many eggs they expect to get from you as we were so disappointed to get three to day 5/6 and in hindsight I don’t think it was that bad.

You have nothing to lose to book the appointment and just go to the consult?!?

Thank you @99pctpractice it does feel like a big milestone but with such a long way to go. I guess I’ll just take each day as it comes and hope for the best. Xx

[quote Unicorn9]@Keeptrying7 are you looking at Nhs clinics (assume you don’t have the luxury given it’s secondary infertility like me and I’m assuming I are looking in the U.K.?

It seems wait times are pretty quick if non existent on the U.K. if it’s private but I only tried before covid. There were no wait times abroad but for us ivf took a lot of time. More than you realise I think when we started…. Best of luck though.[/quote]
I’ve contacted private clinics in London, and the Evewell has offered me a few appointment dates choices in September, but I’m yet to book. I think I will tonight.

I’m wondering how long it’ll all take after the initial consultation to get things started, although we did all of our investigations on the NHS so can bring our results along to that.

I’m feeling so down about it all today! Not sure if I should go all in with fertility treatment, or move on and give up. So hard to know what to do! (Or how to mentally give up!)

@Keeptrying7 are you looking at Nhs clinics (assume you don’t have the luxury given it’s secondary infertility like me and I’m assuming I are looking in the U.K.?

It seems wait times are pretty quick if non existent on the U.K. if it’s private but I only tried before covid. There were no wait times abroad but for us ivf took a lot of time. More than you realise I think when we started…. Best of luck though.

Hi all! Can I join? I’ve been TTC for 2.5 years and have secondary infertility due to DH having a very low sperm count. I’m 41.

I got my period today and am feeling quite low and picked a fight with DH.

I called a fertility clinic earlier in the month, and am yet to make an appointment (they have a slot in September).

Does anyone who has gone down the fertility treatment route know how long it takes to get things moving after the first appointment?

@Catconfusion congratulations on reaching 5 weeks!! V sorry to hear about your dog but glad to hear he’s stabilised a bit now.

Hi @Jem1979 !

I’m going to do an early pregnancy test tomorrow because we have to make a decision about whether to order the medication to start ivf next week. Not sure if it’s too early to test (in theory it should be 6 days before AF, but in reality my cycle is between 30-32 days so it could be too soon…). I’m half hopeful and half realist 🤣

@birdbybird so I started in the august before I got married and took out a year subscription. We’d planned to ttc in the January. I did take it on my honeymoon in the November but was really inconsistent in using it. Found out I was pregnant on our return. Hadn’t even got a confirmation of O because of missing data but could see roughly when it was. I still was shocked it had happened the first time we’d not used contraception. Sadly it ended up being a mmc. I had to have a d&c but used Ovusense as soon as I got a negative hpt. Got pregnant again straight after. This was a chemical. I was so traumatised by the losses I just used it to monitor and we didn’t really try. The first cycle we tried again was the July and the last month of my subscription. That’s when I conceived ds.

As my cycles are irregular it wasn’t great at predicting O but it helped to get a confirmation it had happened. If you know when O comes it might be better at giving you a heads up. So I wouldn’t say I conceived because I was using Ovusense, more it helped with monitoring my cycle and reassuring me we’d tried at the right time. I really hope it works for you. Any questions, let me know. Xx

Thanks @Marvellouslymadmum he’s a lot better today so fingers crossed. He’s very elderly so it is a matter of time but he’s doing well. It just threw me yesterday and was quite upsetting. We’re so relieved he’s ok for now. Xx

@Marvellouslymadmum Thank you re aspirin. I have tried it before and it didn’t work and I have been advised by prof Reagan to start 150mg when I get a bfp but not before as there is some evidence that it can affect implantation…. I think it may do the same as clexane though? But I don’t know anymore. I’ve gone to reflexology as well and acupuncture. I’ve heard of LLLT (low level laser therapy) that has had promising results but it’s £1200 in london for 12 goes and we can’t do that. It’s just a minefield of what else can we do and it seems never ending.

Did aspirin ever work for you or anyone else have success on this thread Plse?

@Catconfusion congratulations. I hope it all goes good for you so we can get some hope too. X

@Catconfusion I meant to say I have a rough idea of when I ovulate.

Congratulations @Catconfusion on getting to 5 weeks. Once you got the hang of it, how many cycles on ovusense did it take before you conceived. I have a rough idea but I can’t temp these days with a toddler.

@Jem1979 I’m still breastfeeding a 19 month old. Have conceived twice but then lost. I thought he was weaning but the frequency seems to have increased.

@Marvellouslymadmum no tests yet, contacted my GP to get the ball rolling then got a BFP. If no luck in next couple of months then will contact them again. Tho my husband wouldn't be keen for IVF, so it's natural or nothing for us. I'm still bfeeding so thought that might be a factor.. but did fall pregnant in March so I know it is possible. Obvs my age is a big red flag! Though I know lots of people on their 40's who have successfully conceived and had healthy babies. And great to hear of ladies on this thread with BFP's! Sending lots of luck to you all x

@Unicorn9 it's so hard isn't it when you have no answers 😞 have you thought about trying the aspirin for the whole month? I've heard a few people have tried and it's worked

@Littlemiss41andfabulous that's really good! Being told you're not high risk must be a huge relief!

@Catconfusion so sorry about your doggy, it's so hard when a pet gets sick. Great news about the pregnancy so far though, exciting you have a scan next week

So ladies, I’m 5 weeks. I can’t believe it. I’ve had so much drama with my tooth coming out and yesterday my elderly dog got taken sick and might not make it. All at a time when I’m trying to look after myself and minimise stress. Anyway, I can only assume all is well. Feeling really sick and lots of other symptoms. I’ve got an NHS reassurance scan next week at 6 plus 2 so just getting through each day until then really. Xx

@birdbybird I used Ovusense for a year before I conceived ds and I loved it. At first it was to monitor my cycles before we started ttc as they are long and irregular. I didn’t think I ovulated but sure enough, it picked it up every cycle albeit irregularly. It definitely took some of the stress out of temping. I couldn’t afford it this time around but thoroughly recommend it. The only thing I would say is it doesn’t always quite get the right day for ovulation. As it gives such an accurate measure of temperature, you’ll see when it happened. Good luck with it! Xx