Post Pill Party - Cocktail Club

@Juno231 its cruel isnt it! I promise outside these boards I'm a very normal person who does not post angry/emotional streams of consciousness! Just have to get through the next month then send myself private I guess

@TheDaydreamBelievers I'm pretty sure I had one of those barely visible evap lines last month, I hope yours is more though! Do you know if/when you ovulated?

I'm CD15. I have been getting some EWCM for the last few days but OPKs are low and temps steady. It would be lovely to ovulate this month (esp. as its my first month trying after HyCoSy), but I'm not getting my hopes up.

I know its trivial but I weighed myself this morning, and the weight I lost whilst I had my poorly stomach earlier this year (only half a stone lost) I have put back on again! 3 months to loose it, 1 month to put it back on... meh!

@TheDaydreamBelievers it's unreal how much our bodies mess with us at a time when the only thing we want is a bfp... The indents I see people having make me laugh as I've never even had one of those - it's like I'm next level barren 🤣

(Fairer to say an indent than an evap - sorry FRER!)

I'm having one of those manic weeks where you convince yourself you are pregnant for no reason. Have had about 4 days of cramps, cant finish a meal without gagging, really tired, sore lower back, windy, itchy nipples, very emotional (cried at an advert). But... I think it might just be stress from my.work atm. Wasted a blooming FRER on it this morning. They do seem to get grey evap lines now (have seen people complaining about them recently) but that's maybe also cause I was peering too hard! Was definitely an evap 2nd line - almost invisible and no colour to it.

Thank you for listening to this stream of consciousness. 15 months trying to have a baby and no further forward

@TheDaydreamBelievers @LauraT94 thanks both for your replies..i think the lowest risk of having to have anything repeated makes it the lesser of 3 evils! At the moment I'm booked in to have it under local anesthetic, I've never had a GA before and having it booked in for a certain time and knowing that if it all goes to plan I will be walking back out half hour to an hour later seemed the easiest route, they did say i could change my mind at any point. There seems to be such mixed experiences of having it under local rather than general some people say it was super painful then others say it was a tiny bit more uncomfortable than a smear.

I can't fault the staff at Birmingham's womens EPU they were so all so compassionate and kind, the EPU there is also attached to a Tommy's research centre so I think that is where my referral will go.

@ChinChilly I'm SO sorry to hear your news 😢

FWIW I would go for surgical management again. However, I would be pushing for it under GA. I had to have mine under local anaesthetic due to Covid procedures and I'm still not over the trauma of it. Feel free to PM me if you want to chat anything over xx

@ChinChilly from my research - there is an equal risk of infection from surgical and medical management. 'natural' (eg waiting it out) for a MMC is more likely to result in infection than the others. Surgery has the lowest risk of needing it repeated (under 5%), medical next (about 1/5 to 1/3rd of people) and natural most (can take a v long time to resolve fully). Surgery has the highest patient satisfaction ratings afterwards.

Personally, I had surgery under GA. Obviously it was/is an awful experience all round but physically it was almost pain free, and I had barely any bleeding (more spotting for a couple of weeks). The medics were absolutely lovely throughout.

@MancMama39 the nurse did say the medical management doesn't always work out and can be abit of a drawn out process, she didn't push me into the surgical route at all but obviously had to explain all the options. I think because it's almost a weeks wait from when we found out until the surgery I'm overthinking it all

@ChinChilly I don't have all the answers but I can speak from experience previously... I had medical management with my MMC in 2015 and it did not work for me personally. I stayed overnight in hospital in pain and I wish I had just gone surgical as ended up going that way anyway a few days later. After the EPRC I felt like I could start to process what had happened. Look after yourself Xx

@Tillybabs @MancMama39 thanks both.

I just had a delivery of a big bunch of flowers from my boss on behalf of all the team so that was nice, set me off again though 🤣 I really wish Monday would hurry up I keep second guessing my decision for the surgical management 😕

@ChinChilly I am so very, very sorry X

@Kay00 thank you for forwarding that podcast. I look forward to listening to that.

@Juno231 just by googling I found a wonderful charity called the Daisy network. They are campaigning for increasing awareness of the condition and have loads of great resources. I even had an online chat with a volunteer gynaecologist who was really helpful. And of course it's just nice to talk to others going through the same thing.

Had nice acupuncture session today. I find it relaxing. She has suggested I see a Chinese herbalist but I'm worried it will give me false hope! I have sod all eggs left and herbs don't grow eggs Not sure I believe in it all. But then I read these testimonials saying great things. Has anyone had any experience of it?

@ChinChilly I'm so sorry to hear your news, so devastated for you. I really hope you get some answers with the referral and understand why you want a break away xx

@ChinChilly totally get the break but remember I'll still be here 😅

@Moocher90 I'll definitely still be hanging around, I'm not going to completely stop TTC but I don't think I want to track anything, tbh the thought of getting pregnant again absolutely terrifies me at the moment

@ChinChilly I totally understand why you need a break but don’t be a stranger I’m sure some of us will still be here for a while yet…. Including myself 😂

@Moocher90 ahh makes sense! Going private definitely speeds things up and at that price you've got nothing to lose.

@ChinChilly if it wasn’t for a house move I would have been more prepared to wait but I think my sale and purchase will be in the upcoming weeks and then the issue will be changing GPs and probably being pushed back in the queue again if I have to wait for another nhs trust for a new referral as I’m moving to a different county.

Thanks for your support and well wishes everyone ❤ I think I'm going to take a break from actively TTC probably until the end of the year, try and focus on my health and the endless DIY around the house but I'm still going to lurk around and see how you're all getting on.

@Moocher90 that is a very reasonable price. My GP said there was a massive waiting list for the scan I had before my BFP but the letter actually came through a couple of weeks later but there is an awful lot of waiting around with the NHS. I've been told there is a 10 week wait for the recurrent miscarriage clinic 🙄

@Juno231 I haven’t got much to lose by doing this privately, the notes/findings get sent to the GP too so they will be stored on my public record. Hopefully give the nhs a kick up the bum so they can figure out why I am not ovulating and maybe start clomid

@moocher90 sounds brilliant and very reasonable priced if anything like what @TheDaydreamBelievers said - especially as it includes a hycosy!

@TheDaydreamBelievers it’s £690 for that but a hycosy alone privately is £500 so I think it’s pretty good value

Woohoo @Moocher90 - hoping that the testing is useful for you. In our area its ~550 which is actually very reasonable. I think for the same lot as you have linked.

I have taken the plunge and booked a couples fertility assessment. works out cheaper then having them done individually. Booked in for my first appointment on 27th July but hope a cancellation comes upas it’s just blood tests. Then having the scans after that but obvs they are CD specific so will have to wait until after my period.

GP is meant to be referring me to gynaecology but the thought of waiting 18+ weeks feels me with dread