Drinking alcohol while TTC?

I think FAS occurs if you drink whilst pregnant and i dont just mean a bucks fizz on xmas day , it would be several units several times a week. Im of the thought that having a bottle of wine a week is fine ( 9 units ) and I stop when i get a bfp and with my poas obsession , this would be early on 😂.

@Loops01 sorry, but what evidence do you have that drinking while TTC decreases the quality of the eggs or sperm to the point where the embryo would develop into a fetus at risk of FAS? Exactly how would that happen?

I didnt stop drinking when TTC but if I knew I had a big night out I used to POAS before it as a check.

Hey just thought I'd put my thoughts into it. We both stopped drinking when ttc. We are 8 months in and not pregnant and never had any mc or chemical. I only have 1 or 2 gins and I tend to do it when I am on my period because why not?! It won't make a huge difference and if anything it helps deal with the sadness that AF is here. I read that drinking red wine with food is not frowned upon. If you are really determined to get pregnant and not just in the stage of 'if it works then great, if it doesn't then that's OK too' then I would cut out or cut down alcohol. Otherwise just enjoy your life. I see many folk who take drink and drugs and have children so it doesn't stop it, it would just affect the quality of egg/sperm and it would increase the risks of FAS etc. Everyone has an opinion but its your body.

Some of these responses are hilarious. TTC can take a long time, make sensible adjustments to be healthier but do not remove all fun from your life you will not be able to keep it up (or if you can, life will be very dull).

When we were TTC, I didn't drink during my fertile window or two week wait. When I got my period I'd have a big glass of red wine and feel a bit sorry for myself. Then I'd finish the bottle over the course of my period and not have any more that cycle.

DH cut back on drinking but still went out a lot. He was very sociable (before we had DS) but also perfectly happy in the pub drinking squash. I'm not sure exactly how much he was drinking but not loads. We were TTC a while though and I'm sure he had the odd binge at stag dos etc.

I think some people are being a bit unfair to you, OP. Do what works for you and good luck TTC

I've been musing on this and thinking back to TTC dc1, which was fairly swift, I was 29. And I did drink, in fact, I've just remembered I smoked up until I got a positive pregnancy test at about 12dpo!

Now, I'm 34, been TTC over a year, been told I was infertile and then one chemical and one late loss so my approach to TTC is completely different. I'm all supplements, opks, bbt, vitamins and despair

Only thing I'd say though is, once you do fall pregnant, set your stall and expectations of him out early. My DH doesn't drink and never has but he does exercise, and he'd come home from a long shift at work and then fuck off to the gym for 3 hours every chance he got while I was seething, exhausted and full of resentment with a baby who wouldn't be put down. He's a good man but his life didn't change much initially and he was being a shit partner and an adequate dad. It took us nearly splitting up for things to change. It took a while to get the balance right.

@Graphista- you’re projecting, and I’m afraid that is your issue, not the OP’s.

I'm the daughter, granddaughter, niece and cousin of alcoholics and other addicts.

Before I was born and indeed through my early childhood my dad "only" drank at weekends but I've learned that he mainly didn't just have one or two drinks but would get drunk.

I have a lot of experience with alcoholism and problem drinking. It doesn't start with immediately drinking loads or frequently.

As I said before it's about the relationship with alcohol, how it's viewed and treated.

Eg your own attitude - going to the pub doesn't mean you HAVE to get drunk or even drink alcohol at all.

I used to be a very sociable and outgoing person, loved going to pubs and clubs (I'm currently housebound through ill health) but I was never a big drinker. I'm the type that was first on the dance floor, last off it, chatted away to new people quite happily etc but I never needed alcohol to do so.

I didn't say he'd be a shit dad, I said (truthfully) that being a parent requires much sacrifice, not getting drunk is NOT (or shouldn't be!) a great sacrifice!

Parents need to be relatively alert at all times in case of any number of parenting reasons from bad dreams to medical emergency.

I'm not saying no drinking at all I'm saying sensible, healthy levels of drinking and if I may say you seem oddly defensive at even the suggestion that you both have unhealthy and potentially problematic attitudes to alcohol.

Being a parent means making good healthy choices as much as possible right from the start.

Personally I don't agree with "drunk till it's pink" either. By the time you're getting a positive pregnancy test you could be several weeks along already, and while alcohol may not be a major factor in early loss, it can be a factor and having lost 3 myself, the 1st an unplanned pregnancy, I just felt I didn't want to take the risk and have the possibility that if something went wrong I'd be worrying that was why.

You can't control everything, but you can control this and alcohol isn't a necessity. I think there's also some evidence alcohol can affect sperm and conception too. So if this is really what you both want (a baby) seems like a no brainier to me.

It's also just good sense to be in as good shape as possible for conception and pregnancy in order to make things as easy as possible for yourself.

@Noodella18 couldn't agree more! 👏🏻

We didn’t stop anything. I may have considered it if it was taking a long time, but I didn’t. In fact we conceived over Christmas where due to the lockdown it was just us getting pissed together. Prior to that we were carrying on as normal, wine on the weekends, drinks in the pub etc.

Bloody hell, this is the conception board, not AIBU! Sorry you've had some holier than thou responses OP - I think that what you're describing is very normal for pre-family couples and you and your partner have both shown that you're prepared to make changes by cutting down drinking to social events only. I can totally see how your partner would be disgruntled to think that he wasn't allowed to drink at all - and I think suggesting this raises doubts over his ability to be a good dad is totally out of line! I think probably the answer here might be everything in moderation - yes, heavy drinking regularly might not be the best for ttc, but if you don't have any fertility issues a couple of sessions a month is unlikely to make much of a difference. I drank in moderation through ttc, as did my partner, we got hammered the night before I got my bfp and my girl is ridiculously bright (and I was 34, so not a spring chicken either).

@Elsbeth1
1-2 bottles wine on a weekend and my husband has about 10 cans over the weekend. I dont have any alcohol after 5 dpo until Af. We are currently ttc #3 and its taking longer because we are older but we will get there ! What do you consider as a binge drinking session?

I drink when I'm on my period and then maybe one or two in my fertile week. I don't drink during the TWW. Dh doesn't really drink and we'd both be fine going t-total. Long term TTC is mentally and emotionally exhausting, I treat myself (consolation prize style) with a bottle when AF arrives.

Do you guys just not go to the pub anymore?
We've never done this. But we both work/ed in nightclubs for years so staying in was our going out. We'd be more likely to get a bottle of prosecco for with a meal at home.

@Elsbeth1 I'm sorry but I agree with @Graphista. When it comes to wanting to start a family, you need to realise what's more important. A drink or a child?

We're not saying your partner will be a shit dad, no one has said that but the point that is being made is that your partner will need to prioritise and if your partner prioritises a good drink over his child, then I'd be asking questions...

Drink till it's pink.

Life is too short and pregnancy too long to live like you're pregnant when you're not.

FWIW it took me 2.5 years to get pregnant with DS. I had months where I didn't drink, was convinced I was pregnant at 2 dpo... the works

The month I did get pregnant. Half way through the TWW I hosted a Eurovision party. Got roaring drunk. Had an awesome time. DS is 4 now and perfectly fine.

@potentialdogowner oh nooooo... didn't realise that about sperm, perhaps naively i thought they were fired out and then remade quickly! Going to have to stock up on the alcohol free beers!!

*equalling

It's more about social drinking equally binge drinking. Are you/DH able to go out to the pub/dinner etc and have two drinks and be satisfied with that?

If not, then I agree with pp about dealing with this as an issue before TTC. If you are, then yes, cutting back a bit to support your general health before you put it under a huge strain will be beneficial. If your partner can't reduce that in support then either he has a problem or you have a dh problem. Will he stop going to the pub when future dc are born?

TTC is a fairly new thing. People used to just move in/get married. Have sex without contraception. Live their lives, get pregnant (or not) People were not obsessed about how it would happen

We carried on drinking as we were. We both liked a drink before but both barely drink at all these days.
DD conceived in very boozy December where we were drinking most days for a fortnight.

I enjoy a bottle of wine on a Friday and Saturday (it takes me the 2 nights to drink a bottle of red for myself), but I avoid alcohol during fertile week.

I know people say drink until you see pink, but I'd rather avoid it if I could. I couldn't tell you the last time my husband had a drink!