TTC after MC - new thread for newbies / lurkers on other threads!

@Mrsmujic same. I've just called too and she sounded so awkward asking why I needed to cancel and was so apologetic. I struggled to fight back the tears too. Hopefully we'll both be calling back in a few weeks to book in again .

@ItsMeantToBe I just did it now to get it out the way. The midwife I spoke to was really kind. I said I felt stupid for self refering too soon but she said they prefer it 4-6 weeks so they can get us all booked in but it's just difficult for women to have to cancel them 😔 it's pretty hard holding back the tears and not letting your voice shake. It comes in waves where I can't help thinking of what could have been and feel sad 💔

Thanks @Flopsy88! It's exciting, I will be gutted if I don't get a BFP this month. Glad you got positive OPK too. Don't spoil your DP too much, he'll expect clean shaven legs all the time 😂. I'm definitely more emotional that normal too. I feel ok today but can't stop eating, so I'm blaming hormones.

@CMcA21 so exciting that you have a wedding to plan too! I would definitely wait until after baby, no need to rush. I had a big wedding and if I were to do it again I would elope or just have a registery office one. The planning is the best bit.

@Mrsmujic. That's shit. I've been putting off cancelling mine- I don't know why I feel embarrassed calling?

Ughh my midwife booking appointment just came through, gonna have to ring and cancel it now 😔

@Flopsy88 that’s to be expected though we will have good and bad days! I’m definitely on the up now and trying not to put too much pressure on ourselves. It’s horrible isn’t it thinking that we could go through this again. :( it’s scaring me too.

We haven’t really planned anything because of Covid and everywhere being shut but hopefully we will be able to book it soon! I’m from Liverpool and he’s Irish but we live in Liverpool and always thought we’d do it here but now we’re talking about doing it abroad then just having parties back here and over in Belfast. It is nice but we still think we want to try again for a baby this year before we book it. When we found out I was pregnant I wanted to do a shotgun wedding but he wasn’t having it 😂 he said that’s old fashioned and we should just wait and do it properly so we will see, hopefully get it booked soon x

So pleased you got your flashing smiley @ItsMeantToBe I got a positive OPK on Wednesday and temp rise today so I'm assuming I'm 1dpo now. My DP didn't know what hit him! I even shaved my legs for the occasion. Apparently you're more fertile just after a miscarriage so I've convinced myself I'll get pregnant straight away. Probably setting myself up for disappointment though!

@CMcA21 I've coped better than I expected to I think but will probably feel differently if it takes ages to concieve again or I have another loss. I'm definitely more emotional than usual and had a complete meltdown last weekend after too much wine. I hope you're starting to have more ups than downs now. Are you still planning your wedding? It must be lovely to have something so exciting to focus on! Xx

@Mrsmujic thanks for your message it was really horrible at the time but I’m glad it’s all over now! I’m not exactly sure where I’m up to in my cycle, I was starting to track temp but I just got fed up and said I’ll start properly tracking everything when I get my period. It’s 28 days since my MVA though. It should have been my 12 week scan today :( if you’re worried about retained product or bleeding you could ask for a scan but I’m not sure if they’ll give you one?

@Flopsy88
thanks for your lovely message. The counselling I was referred by the hospital to a charity, so it’s kind of private but not really, you can self refer as well. I agree with what you say about the aches and pains - I overanalysed every ache or niggle when I was pregnant and I’m doing it again now. It’s just the not knowing what’s happening with your body it’s so frustrating. How have you coped emotionally since your MC? I’ve been so up and down this past week!

@CMcA21 Wow you've had a tough time! Let us know how you get on with the counselling, I'm sure it'll really help.

I was really down yesterday and just felt like I could burst into tears at any point but today I've done a OPK and I got a smiley face!!! I told my husband that we're going to DTD lots tonight as I'm ovulating and he was like "yeah get in"! I don't know if that's because I'm ovulating or because he actually gets to touch me, ha!

How's everyone else feeling today?

@CMcA21 I'm so so sorry you're going through this. It's such a shitty time. It's really positive that you're seeing a counsellor though! Is it someone you've found privately? I wonder if your DP would be open to speaking to someone about it too. It sounds like he's really struggling. My DP doesn't really talk about it either, he just goes quiet when he's upset. He's happy to listen to me though but I think he's worried about saying the wrong thing.

In understand your frustration waiting for your period. I miscarried naturally and it's 3 weeks tomorrow since I had a big bleed and lost the pregnancy sac. I was getting positive HPTs for another 2 weeks after that and had a positive OPK yesterday (I think?) so I'm hoping my cycle has started up again. They're usually 28 days but i guess this one will be a bit longer. I think it depends on how long HCG takes to return to a very low level which seems so vary so much for different women. I've had a lot of cramping and niggly pains over the last couple of weeks, no idea what that means though! It might even have been there before and I never noticed! xx

@CMcA21 your story sounds so scary and I'm so sorry you had to go through that. It's bad enough to be told the worst news to only then be put through so much extra pain and discomfort. I hope you never have to experience that again. Where are you up to in your cycle now?

I've listened to some of the worst girl gang podcast and it's so good. The early loss episode was especially fitting to my experience and it's so true that we are almost socially conditioned to think an early loss 'isnt as bad and to look on the bright side'. I'm trying to stay optimistic for my next cycle but also dreading the feeling of it happening again as it's still hurts to think the future you thought might have when you see that bfp has gone up in smoke. Plus it's got me thinking how do you know if everything has passed even if the bleeding and clots have stopped, what if something is stil stuck up there? (I'm still very lightly bleeding Day 5)

Hope you are all okay today girls! Xx

@Lowkeyloopy see I was talking to my friend about it yesterday and she literally knows nothing about it and I was like there’s SO MUCH people don’t know. Not sure if you had to do this bjt 3 weeks later I had to do a pregnancy style hCG test to check the ‘success’ of the miscarriage... and then there’s the waiting for the period wondering if it’s all ok!
It’s exhausting. I know what you mean about doing a number 2 - I actually had like weird cramps/stabbing pains when doing a wee or a no 2 for 2 weeks ish after then on Saturday just gone (3rd) I was in bed and got pains randomly when I didn’t have anything for a week. I stopped bleeding after 2 weeks it was just spotting for 10 days really. Since then I’ve had sore boobs and felt the period rage (what happens to me before I come on, I go full psycho some days) and was whipping my partner with a tea towel because he was annoying me 😂 so safe to say there’s something happening, hopefully it’s sooner rather than later. Hope you enjoy the podcast, I have it on instead of TV at the moment because there’s nothing good on. Thanks for all your info😀

I feel almost back to normal but then I keep thinking about where I ‘should’ and ‘could’ be. It’s so sad and frustrating because this just shouldn’t happen to anyone, it’s awful!

@Flopsy88 obsessed with the worst girl gang ever podcast - it’s helping me so much! :)

Hi everyone, could I join please?

So sorry that you’ve all been going through this. Really feel for you all and it’s just the most awful thing.

My story: I’m 27 and came off the pill last May. We decided we weren’t going to fully try but didn’t mind if it happened. Each month I secretly hoped but didn’t happen. At Christmas I decided I would stop thinking about it and start planning our wedding. End of jan my period didn’t come and we tested and I was 3 weeks ish. Everything was going ok and went to a private scan at 7 and a bit weeks and they said my dates could be wrong and they could see a heartbeat. The sonographer told me I would be fine if I’d had no bleeding...
Anyway went back 2 weeks later and the baby was the same size and still no heartbeat. I ended up having an MVA whilst awake which was traumatic as the pessary didn’t work and the doctor dilated me herself and it was very painful and took over an hour. My partner is trying not to talk or think about it and I’m finding it hard because every now and then he keeps getting upset and then it can set me back too. I’ve had my first counselling session tonight and feeling more positive. I just want my period now it’s been 4 weeks tomorrow since my procedure so hoping it comes soon. How long has everyone waited for theirs? Did anyone have pains or anything a few weeks after? Hope you don’t mind me joining but the same reasons you’ve all said I can’t keep up and don’t know everyone’s stories on other threads!

@Flopsy88 yes just started worst girl gang ever this week and love it! It's great xxx

Hope you're all ok today

@ItsMeantToBe Also recommend Yoga with Adriene! She seems so lovely and has some short manageable videos. I was doing it every morning the month I conceived, no idea if it helped of not but was a nice way to start the day. If I'm really struggling to feel motivated (which is a lot t the moment) I close the blinds and light a candle and just tell myself I'm having 15 mins sitting on my yoga mat in peace without my phone or anything and always end up doing some yoga anyway.

@Madeoftea OPKs at work are tricky. People will ask questions if you're carrying around a little pot to pee in! I usually do one as soon as I get home at 5pm and another later in the evening and that seems to catch my peak.

Is anyone else listening to the Worst Girl Gang Podcast? It's very emotional at times but really helps with the lonely feelings. It's so reassuring to know that other people are going through the same thing and having the same obsessive TTC thoughts!

Thanks @Lowkeyloopy I'll give that yoga a try...tomorrow. I'm really struggling to get any sort of motivation this week and just feel blah.

@Mrsmujic My husband is the same. He seems to be in a good mood (although still sad about the mc) and I just keep wondering how he can be that cheery. They really don't understand all the things we go through. I'm glad I have you lot to vent to and obsess with!

@Madeoftea Fingers crossed going back to work won't be too bad. I'm sure there will be some people in work who have been through/going through similar. Maybe you could confide in your manager? Mine knows so I'm hoping she'll be supportive when I do get a BFP again.

@Flopsy88 thank you. Unfortunately I haven't felt able to tell any of my colleagues, I'm hoping it helps and I can just get back into work normally but I think if I struggle there's a few people I'm willing to tell and think will understand.

@Lowkeyloopy I'm thinking I'm going to start on yoga videos soon and maybe try couch to 5k, I started it at the beginning of the year and then gave up when I fell pregnant and was exhausted.

Sorry to all you other ladies for your losses. @Aila1994 I was happy that I was supposed to have a September baby but like you I just want a baby now, I'm not bothered when it would be.

@Mrsmujic my partner is the same! He just let's me get on with it and is happy to show up when needed 🍆😂 it is lonely though, my family know we're TTC now after telling them about the mc but the details are hardly something I want to discuss with them!

So I'm going to start my opks today in case I ovulate earlier again this month but I have a feeling that my fertile week is going to fall next week when I return to work. How does anyone go about doing opks whilst they're at work, especially if you're not in an office environment?? I'm sure being at home and able to do opks contributed to my last pregnancy!

Welcome to our new members ☺️ it's so nice to have a place to chat and put our feelings out there.

I think TTC can be so lonely if you don't want to talk to friends/family and there's only so much a partner can understand when it's mainly us going through af, tracking everything, trying to DTD enough, then the dreaded tww, testing testing testing along with symptom spotting and hoping it's our month while quietly hoping the cycle won't begin again and our bfps stick! (Don't get me wrong I know it affects our partners as much as us but if my DH is anything to go by hes just up for DTD and waiting for me to tell him if it's BFP or not 😅)

@Lowkeyloopy @ItsMeantToBe I've also seen articles where research suggests you could potentially be more fertile in the 3 months after MC so seeming as mine was very early MC at 5/6wks I'm going to track lh levels and if they start moving then I'm jumping straight back into it as DH and i feel ready. I'm hoping this cp is just like a regular af as I'm still bleeding currently (Cd4) so I'm really hoping that my cycle is still relatively 'normal'.

How is everyone else getting on today? X

Welcome @Aila1994 @Girlmum2020. Having late losses must be awful, I was only 5.3 weeks this time.

@Mrsmujic I haven't checked my HCG since I Saturday when I had my bloods done and got negative pregnancy tests. I know mine will be back down to 0 now, with it only being 4 then. Once I get a BFP I'm definitely going to do tests daily to try to monitor whether the lines are getting darker. I've never really done this but I think it'll be reassuring that it's not a chemical again.

@Flopsy88 I don't exercise often TBH. I go through phases of running but mainly it's just walking the dog, which I'm trying to do more of. I do want to start yoga as it'll be good to carry it on all the way through to pregnancy too.

Hi ladies, hope you don’t mind me joining!

I’m on another thread or 2, but not really too vocal as I joined quite late and struggled to catch up.

We conceived late October 2020 and misscarried around 8-10 weeks between December/January. We tried for the first time since last month (March) and it didn’t work out for us, so this will be cycle 2 of TTC baby #1 🤞.

I’m 27, husband is 28, and we’ve worked out that if we do conceive this month I’ll be due 31/12/21, so maybe a little risky being so close to Christmas, but at this point I just want my baby 👶! (Currently CD12 and usually ovulated around CD17/18)

Hi ladies, hope you don’t mind me joining!

I’m on another thread or 2, but not really too vocal as I joined quite late and struggled to catch up.

We conceived late October 2020 and misscarried around 8-10 weeks between December/January. We tried for the first time since last month (March) and it didn’t work out for us, so this will be cycle 2 of TTC baby #1 🤞.

I’m 27, husband is 28, and we’ve worked out that if we do conceive this month I’ll be due 31/12/21, so maybe a little risky being so close to Christmas, but at this point I just want my baby 👶! (Currently CD12 and usually ovulated around CD17/18)