TTC after MC - new thread for newbies / lurkers on other threads!

Hi everyone! Hope you're all doing ok today

Sorry to here you've been feeling a bit low @Lowkeyloopy I hope things seem brighter today. Where abouts in your cycle are you now? Time seems to go so slowly doesn't it? I'm really hating with this TWW like never before. I can't think about anything else and I'm struggling to concentrate on work (wfh makes this so much worse). Before ovulation I feel like there's so much a can do, OPKs, timing sex, eating grapefruit every day(!?) and now it's completely out of my control and I just have to wait. Ugh. So jealous of women who just suddenly realise they haven't had a period for a while and test just incase only to find they're 10 weeks pregnant with a lovely surprise baby. Why can't it always be that easy?!

@CMcA21I use the premom app too and find it really good. Temps do seem to jump around a little bit, I dunno if it's something to do with the thermometer being cold for the first reading? If I don't get the answer I want the first time I check it again and take the second reading (if it's higher and I'm post-ovulation!)

I recommend the easy at home opks from Amazon. Someone on another thread recommended to me. I was using one step ones and they were crap, hardly showed a second line at all. First proper cycle using the easy at home ones. I'm CD12 today and had 2 high readings today so 🤞🏻

@Lowkeyloopy Sorry you're feeling down. As hard as it is try to block out the negative thoughts and think positively. I'm sure you'll get a BFP soon that will stick. Have you heard about the law of attraction? I read the book "The Secret" and it's helped me think about things differently. Saying that I've had some down days this week. I've found myself getting really jealous of pregnant women, even though it's obviously not their fault and I'm sure i will get a BFP soon. I know someone who is pregnant with her second and she's smoked all the way though both pregnancies when I'm already doing everything I should be like taking folic, cutting back on caffeine etc (like you are). So frustrating!

Hope you had a nice walk @CMcA21

I've just pottered around today and sorted the house out a bit. Going to waste the evening away in the bath I think.

@Lowkeyloopy Thanks for the advice, I’ll let you know if I work out how to use them but I’ll probably be back on here asking for help 😂

Sorry to hear that you’re feeling low today. It’s really unfair what happened to you and there may be no reason why it happens. A lot of the time it’s just unlucky that the wrong egg/sperm meet. But like you say, you’re doing everything you can and that’s all you can do. You can’t change anything else about what happens. You can just make the most of what you can do and by the sounds of it you’re doing all you can. I get what you mean about the anger towards stuff. I was like that with my folic acid tabs etc but you’ve just got to take a deep breath and a step back and think, you can’t control what happened or exactly when it’ll happen again, you can just do the things you know will help. Keep doing what you’re doing my love!

I’m feeling quite positive and productive, we’ve had a nice breakie, done the bedsheets and been to b&m for new cleaning stuff 😂 the joys of lockdown! Just going to go for a walk now with my friends. Hope you’re feeling more positive soon

@ItsMeantToBe I think I’m gonna invest in this one at some point - will see what happens with my AF coming back first. I want to know whereabouts my cycle is up to if I’m gonna spend money. It all becomes so expensive doesn’t it...

@Lowkeyloopy I’ll look in to the premom app, haven’t heard of this before and I might get some cheap ones for back ups. I’m a teacher so I leave for work about half 7 and get home about half 4/5 each day so I could just do one in the morning and at night? I have the femometer thermometer for BBT too but I’m so sure I’m using it wrong 😩 it keeps jumping between different temps when I do them one after each other

@CMcA21 the CB one is really simple. It comes up with a flashing smiling face when your at high ovulation and a continuous smiling face when your at your peak. They check 2 hormones too, when some only check one. The line ones seem a bit harder to read as the lines have to be exactly the same colour, I think?

@ItsMeantToBe I’ve seen these online - how often do you do them?? Or just once a day? They seem very complicated!

@Flopsy88 great news that there's no STI's 😂!

@CMcA21 I'm new to OPK's too but I bought the ClearBlue Advanced Ovulation kit. I think it was about £20 but you can a lot of cheapie sticks online for about £5 I think, so I'll order some of them if I don't get a BFP this month I think.

@ShoesEverywhere your kids are at good ages. 7 is old enough to babysit, right? . I've got a 4 year old.

My youngest just turned four and my eldest is almost seven.

I always used natural family planning (not with precision!) so I'm usually pretty good at knowing when I'm fertile - I'm just used to avoiding sex at that point so this all feels very different!

@Flopsy88 always a positive knowing you don’t have HIV or Syphillis...

@ItsMeantToBe I’m too scared to test yet but I will do it if no period by Friday... I can never POAS correctly and I have to collect a sample and do it that way. I have a ‘wee cup’ under the bathroom sink 😂

@Flopsy88 we’ve said that we’re gonna try and book our wedding in the mean time but for 2 years time ish! How cute would it be to have a baby/toddler at your wedding with you. Fingers crossed.

If AF does arrive for me soon I will be back to tracking, I’ve never used ovulation tests before; are they easy to use and what are the best ones? I see people doing them multiple times a day should this be what I do?

Hope you’re all having a lovely weekend and we’re all feeling ok ❤️

Hope you're all having a lovely weekend! We've got people coming for drinks in the garden and it's just started snowing!

@CMcA21 I think I'd definitely prioritise baby over wedding. I've got a few friends (mid 30s) who were planning to start TTC after their weddings last year and but then they were postponed and they can't be sure they'll go ahead this year. It's all so uncertain at the moment and now they're panicking about needing to start a family.

Sorry you ladies have had to make difficult phonecalls. It's horrible having to say it out loud. It always makes me feel like I've failed which is is ridiculous of course! Thankfully the EPU cancelled all my scans and informed the GP so I didn't have to. I'd already had my booking in appointment and got a letter from the midwife this morning saying 'We know you're not pregnant anymore but we've got your screening bloods results and thought you'd like to know you don't have HIV or Syphilis'. So that's good news anyway!

@Lowkeyloopy It's better to start OPK testing early than risk missing it! Gotta satisfy that POAS addiction with something! I think I'll test next weekend. I got a strong positive with a FRER at 10dpo last time. I've got a million amazon cheapies as well so it hard not to use them but they're not sensitive at all so it's a bit pointless. Now I've also learned that OPKs detect HCG I'll probably keep using those as well. They were positive for ages after my bleeding started, even when the HPTs were fading.

Welcome @ShoesEverywhere and sorry you find yourself here How old are your two little ones? Xx

@Lowkeyloopy I definitely won't be calling as early next time. As you say, they don't tell you anything interesting/reassuring at the 10 week appointment anyway. It's just a information collecting exercise for them really.

I got a high OPK reading on CD7. I had a suspicion that I ovulate early. No harm testing early.

As far as pregnancy testing, I think I'll wait until AF is late. I don't think it'll be good for me to see a negative result if I test too early. I've already got some FRER and a digital waiting. I want to use the FRER daily after I get a BFP to make sure it's progressing.

Welcome @ShoesEverywhere I was the same. Kind of accidentally got pregnant, had a CP and then we realised how desperate we were for a baby. I know what you mean about not feeling grown up enough, I still expected my mum to be disappointed in me even though I'm in my 30's and already a mum and wife .

@CMcA21 From what you've said I would test. Good luck!

@Lowkeyloopy I think I’d probably end up going for a drink and things seeing as pubs are going to be opening up and I just want to be careful with what I eat. I also was on an intense exercise challenge before the pregnancy and I loved it and re-enrolled to try and make myself feel better as I’d put weight on but I’d be too worried doing it if I was pregnant.. i see what you mean though, the only thing is that my boobs had gone back to normal and then I had some cramps last Saturday. We DTD Friday and Sunday and I’ve had sore boobs since about Tuesday and period style pains this week on and off. I wouldn’t want to see a positive and it be a CP but then I don’t know how much longer I could wait because if I’m wondering it’ll just take over my mind 😂 and at least it lets me know if I should be preparing for the period or not. Although I’m getting a bit ahead of myself because I’ll probably get AF tomorrow now!

@ShoesEverywhere welcome! So sorry about your MC :( it must have been a shock for you especially if you haven’t experienced that before (I’m just guessing this by the way from what you’ve said in your post). I was so happy when we happened to get pregnant without the stress of TTC but my partner phrased it in a good way. He says if you’re preparing for it then you’re definitely doing the right things i.e. watching your caffeine and alcohol and taking your vits so even though it can be stressful and daunting at least you know you’re doing everything you possibly can be! 💜

@ItsMeantToBe I’m the same, not going to tell anyone if I am lucky enough to get pregnant again.

@Lowkeyloopy I think I’ll only ever test if my period is late - however I haven’t had my period yet post MC and my boobs have been hurting again this week and we have been DTD so if my period doesn’t come in a weeks time do you think I should take a test to see? Not sure what to do but I haven’t been tracking anything so it probably won’t be that.

Anyone reading this what do you think? Don’t want to get obsessive and I know it can take a few weeks to get the period back but I think if it’s 5 weeks post MC and boobs are sore again I would want to check and make sure?

Hello!

Please may I join? I'm 30 and a mother of two lovely children. I found out I was pregnant (total accident) on 1st April and two weeks ago today I miscarried.

We realised we actually really did want the baby so have started trying. Which is the first time we've ever done that - I almost feel like I'm not grown up enough to be trying for a baby.

Despite having two children already shrugs

Anyway hi!

@CMcA21 thank you. It feels good to get it out of the way.

It's bad that you still got sent your appointments after telling them. You were right to go to PALS. Hopefully they'll be more mindful with women in the future. You're right that saying "I've had a miscarriage" is really hard. One of my first thoughts after I discovered I was having a mc was that I've got to tell everyone and cancel the appointments. I only told my really close family and my best friend but I don't think I'll tell anyone next time (apart from DH) until I've had a reassurance scan.

@ItsMeantToBe well done to you too for calling, it must have been hard but you’ve done it now. Don’t be embarrassed at all! Hopefully we’re all calling back soon for our rainbows 💛

@Mrsmujic it happened to me, I had my booking in appt the day before I found out I had miscarried and when I went for my MVA I was like ‘please make sure the midwives know and don’t send me letters’ anyway I got a call the next week saying why haven’t you come for your bloods and then a letter for my scan the week later. I complained to PALS at the hospital in the end. It’s really hard saying it out loud I feel, saying the words ‘I’ve had a miscarriage’ are what sets me off I don’t know about you.

Well done though for doing it, so brave of you and hopefully you can start to get some closure now ❤️