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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Original poster

TTC after MC - new thread for newbies / lurkers on other threads!

641 replies

Lowkeyloopy · 06/04/2021 12:49

Hi all!

I know there are several threads dedicated to this topic, which I've lurked on for several weeks without saying anything, but some threads (sadly) have so many people on them that it can be a bit hard to follow, or it feels awkward to jump into the middle of a conversation between people who have been chatting for a while. Does anyone fancy joining me on a new thread?

My story: 33, TTC baby #1, conceived first cycle in Feb, but had a MC at 6 weeks in early March. Absolutely awful, as everyone knows, and I was in a rubbish place mentally for a few weeks, but I've also counted my blessings - it was early, I needed no medical intervention and at least I know I can conceive. Also AF has returned today - 29 days after first day of my MC. I usually have a 28-29 day cycle so am so grateful that my body seems to be getting with the programme again.

So CD1 for me, and I'll be TTC this month and back to tracking - BBT from tomorrow, OPKs from CD 11, still taking my Pregnacare and trying to keep exercising and eating healthily!

Would anyone like to join me if they're going through something similar? How have you been coping since your MC? What's on your TTC to-do list?! (Other than the obvious..!)

Baby dust to all xx

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Original poster
Lowkeyloopy · 20/04/2021 10:20

Thanks @justwant2beamum , got my peak last night! Now just busy fretting because we didn’t DTD on Sunday, just Saturday and yesterday so far. My brain will always find something to worry about!

How are things with you?

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justwant2beamum · 20/04/2021 10:16

@Lowkeyloopy looking good! ✨

Original poster
Lowkeyloopy · 19/04/2021 17:44

On a different note... I got my peak!!! Well, almost. Premom says it’s high but i’m taking it as my peak, haha. Judging by how rapid the surge was the month I conceived (the only other time I got a peak), the actual peak should hopefully be a few hours away. Look at all those low tests... I was getting seriously frustrated!

So lesson learned - my body is not a clock, and just because I peaked on CD 13 last time, it doesn’t mean I should despair by the morning of CD14 when it hasn’t yet happened, assuming my body is broken! That’s where I was this morning.

I literally jumped up and down in the bathroom like a kid at Christmas! 😀

TTC after MC - new thread for newbies / lurkers on other threads!
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Original poster
Lowkeyloopy · 19/04/2021 17:38

@Madeoftea - I could have written what you wrote.. I totally relate to the numb feelings. I’ve definitely struggled over the last couple of weeks, having felt like I was doing loads better. I reckon your body protects you a little bit from the grief initially, then you have to focus on the physical things like waiting for the bleeding to stop and getting your first AF. It’s a distraction from all the emotional processing. It’s annoying but I think it just takes time, and doing little things for yourself to lift your spirits bit by bit - for me it’s good food, exercise (I’m finally back to yoga) and watching comedy.

@CMcA21 Oh hun I’m so sorry you had a panic attack - again I can relate - I ended up sobbing down the phone to a friend last weekend and was very panicky and breathless. It came kinda out of nowhere, though I had spent too much time watching YouTube videos about pregnancy after loss - I think it was too much to deal with. I’ve also deleted Insta - just don’t need to see other people’s supposedly perfect lives! Again, just give yourself time to process.

One thing I haven’t done but probably should do is some journaling - does that help anyone?

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Flopsy88 · 19/04/2021 14:02

I'm so sorry you're feeling like this @Madeoftea Two pregnancy announcements in a week is a lot to cope with, especially if this is around the time you would have been announcing as well. Are they people you're close to? I can totally relate to the numb feelings. I'm not enjoying socialising again anywhere near as much as I normally would and it's hard to get excited about anything when I was recently SO excited about being pregnant and nothing compares to that. When you're feeling low it can be so much worse when the sun is shining and everyone else is loving life. Were your cycles regular before the mc? Have you been using opks? I really hope you're feeling better soon ❤

CMcA21 · 19/04/2021 12:47

I am supposed to ovulate next Monday so I think I’ll say Saturday, Sunday and Monday DTD? I’m temping but not using OPKs yet.

How’s everyone feeling? I had a panic attack last night and feel so weird today 😩

Madeoftea · 19/04/2021 12:32

Hey ladies, I hope you're all doing okay?

I. Am. Stressed. All my MC feelings seem to be popping back up after being alright for a little while, and I've had two surprise pregnancy announcements in the last week which have affected me quite badly and everything's got a bit too much to cope with. I'm loving the sun right now and I want to just get outside and enjoy it but I just feel a bit numb? Everyone in my life seems to be having a great time currently and I don't want to bring anyone down. Does anyone else ever feel like this?

This month is a write off for me too, I'm on CD23 and there's been no ovulation symptoms in sight and I haven't felt like DTD anyway 😔

ItsMeantToBe · 19/04/2021 09:59

@Flopsy88 Glad you're enjoying the clean slate and looking forward to a brand new cycle!

@CMcA21 I aimed to DTD everyday around ovulation but managed to on CD8, 9, 10, when I ovulated on CD13 and 1DPO. We're just DTD whenever we want to now I've ovulated, I'm trying to make sure it still stays fun for both of us. Fingers crossed!

@Lowkeyloopy I got my peak on the evening of CD13, hopefully you'll get yours anytime now! I notice ovulation pain too. This month I noticed it 1DPO on my right hand side (which is the same side as last month). They're quite noticeable pains for me.

I'm CD18/5DPO today...slowest month EVER!

Flopsy88 · 19/04/2021 08:49

Morning ladies! Hope you all had nice weekends ☀️

@Lowkeyloopy Yes this the start of my first cycle post mc and it feels so good!! I'm even excited to use my mooncup again after those horrible pads during the mc. Any sign of your peak yet?? Do you usually get gradually darkening lines or does it just appear suddenly? Re. the ovulation pain, I always get it the day after my surge for a few hours. It's really painful on one side and unmistakable. I can almost feel the little egg popping out!
I'll keep my fingers crossed for you today (and your poor tired DP!!) 🤞🏻 xx

Original poster
Lowkeyloopy · 18/04/2021 12:52

Happy sunny Sunday ladies (well - I hope it's sunny where you are!)

Sorry to hear that AF arrived @Flopsy88, but as you say, it's good to get started on a new cycle - remind me, is this your first AF after the MC? Clean slate.. onwards and upwards.

And yeh @CMcA21 I agree with @Aila1994 it really seems to vary. Definitely should aim to DTD in the 3 days leading up to ovulation and ideally the day of. Even the day after could perhaps work because the egg can survive up to 24 hours. I think people can technically get PG if they ovulate 4-5 days after DTD, but the odds are lower - your DP has got to have some seriously strong and patient swimmers!

The month I conceived we DTD every day throughout the FW. It was slightly exhausting but it worked. Basically copied my friend who said the month she conceived (4th cycle), they DTD every day. But some people say sperm concentration is too low if you do that. I don't know though... it only takes one!

I'm currently on CD13 and trying not to stress that I haven't had a high or peak OPK yet. The cycle I conceived I had a high CD12 pm and peak CD13 am. But then yesterday I swear I had some brief cramping on my RHS, like ovulation pain I think. Do you guys get ovulation pain, and if you do, does it precede ovulation or is it at the same time?

Anyway we DTD yesterday and the day before anyway and will try again later even if I don't get a high/peak. I'm going to exhaust my poor DP with all this DTD in expectation of a peak being round the corner! He'll be willing my temp to spike so he can chill out for a bit, haha. It went up slightly this morning, but I'm pretty sure I half woke up 2 hours earlier and so it probably wasn't accurate at the time I took it.

ANYWAY, I should really get off the internet and get my brain onto thinking about something else.

What thoughts have you ladies got swirling around your heads today?!

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Flopsy88 · 18/04/2021 09:51

@CMcA21 It was that! It's super heavy and painful and feel so happy about it! There was clearly no way I could have got pregnant straight away, no matter what I did, I'm not even certain I ovulated and if I did my luteal phase would have been really short. This feels like a fresh start 🙂 xx

CMcA21 · 18/04/2021 09:34

@bea19 thank you ❤️

CMcA21 · 18/04/2021 09:32

@Flopsy88 I got spotting the day before my period so that might explain the brown discharge!

Flopsy88 · 18/04/2021 09:13

@ShoesEverywhere Everyone is different! Some people get pg straight away without even having a period so must have ovulated, others can take a while for their cycles to return to normal. I think I ovulated 3 weeks after my mc and period started yesterday which would be 29 days afterwards. Have you been monitoring your temperature? I think that's the most reliable way of knowing ovulation has happened x

Marshmellowdreaming · 17/04/2021 22:27

@ShoesEverywhere I had a ?period 10 days after complete miscarriage and a positive smile clear blue 2 weeks later. After reading online that most people are at least a month I wasn’t sure but after checking with a pregnancy test before period which was negative and then getting smile on clear blue think this is possibly ovulation: No idea on the whole miscarriage is the start of period because I never thought to count it as that and then I got my period at usual date 10 days later. I was 7 weeks at miscarriage. Not sure if that helps x

ShoesEverywhere · 17/04/2021 19:58

Does anyone happen to know how likely you are to ovulate after a miscarriage? I had EWCM around two weeks afterwards for around three days so I'm now 8dpo but I'm wondering if I actually o'd at all... Thanks in advance :)

bea19 · 17/04/2021 12:36

@CMcA21 sorry, it took me a while to dig this out but ‘The Impatient Woman’s Guide to Getting Pregnant’ book says the “latest research shows the two most fertile days are one and two days before ovulation (the more recent studies show one day before to be the most fertile)... and that you up your chances by having sex more than once during your fertile time”. Hope that helps.

Fingers crossed for everyone who has had positive OPKs.

Aila1994 · 17/04/2021 11:14

@Msd2416 Congratulations lovely! Fingers crossed lots of us will be joining you and getting our BFP’s in the next couple of months 🤞x

Marshmellowdreaming · 17/04/2021 11:08

@Flopsy88 half the pandemic itu, half in the community. Equally as challenging. Settling down now though thankfully. Could do with some maternity haha! X

Flopsy88 · 17/04/2021 10:52

@Msd2416 Congratulations!! That is amazing news! 🥳 How are you feeling?

@Lowkeyloopy Thank you for being so lovely, that is such a good way of looking at it ❤ I am feeling a bit less gloomy today. We have a few beer garden tables booked this weekend so that will be nice. It's so exciting being able to see our friends again. I hope you have a lovely brunch! It is the best meal 😋

@justwant2beamum That is exactly what I'm doing! I'm pretty sure I've read the whole of the Internet now. It feels like such a waste of time and I'm so annoyed with myself for doing it but I can't think about anything else

Oh wow @Marshmellowdreaming You are amazing! That must be such a hard job!! Have you been there for the whole pandemic?

I tested again this morning and still bfn. I've had the tiniest bit of brown discharge (sorry tmi) which is a bit strange. I don't know if it's leftover mc blood but I haven't had any bleeding for weeks now. I also don't feel crampy like af is imminent but if it is that I'll be pleased to get started on a new cycle

This is such a kind, supportive group! It helps so much knowing you all understand xx

Marshmellowdreaming · 17/04/2021 09:09

@Msd2416 congratulations! Bet it feels amazing.
@Flopsy88 also tested from day 9. So far as negative as could be. Trying to take my mind off it and test closer to missed period. @Girlmum2020 glad you have had 2 healthy children, doesn’t make any loss any easier though. Fingers crossed for you!
@Mrsmujic sorry you are going through this! My period was only 2 weeks later which was a relief.
@ItsMeantToBe I’m definitely feeling the blurgh.
Keep trying to remind myself the reasons we want a baby and appreciate we are in a place to give a baby everything it would deserve. Hope you have a nice weekend.
@Madeoftea my smiley ovulation test was at 4pm so tested before work. Apparently it’s highest at 4-8pm not sure how true which is why they say test twice daily.
I’ve been busy on nights at work (itu nurse). Honestly I’ve had EVERY symptom I had last time. I think I’ve convinced myself. So far day 10 dpo and negative. Going to be so disappointed. Already want to give up. Being in here and seeing how strong all you ladies are is helping though. Thank you.

Original poster
Lowkeyloopy · 17/04/2021 08:30

I hope you’re feeling a bit better today @Flopsy88 and have some nice plans for the weekend!

CD12 for me today. This is the day I got my high OPK the cycle I got PG, with a peak CD13 morning, so I’m really hoping for the same again!

I’m also about to go try out some “fertility yoga” - has anyone discovered Bettina Rae on YouTube? Couldn’t hurt!

I hope everyone has a lovely chilled weekend, hopefully without getting bogged down in too many thoughts of TTC. I’m off to meet some friends for brunch today - can’t wait 🙂

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CMcA21 · 16/04/2021 23:50

@bea19 oooh have a lovely time ❤️❤️

@Msd2416 congratulations lovely 🎉 fingers crossed it all goes ok for you xxxx

justwant2beamum · 16/04/2021 22:28

Congrats @Msd2416 ✨

Original poster
Lowkeyloopy · 16/04/2021 22:15

Congratulations @Msd2416! Fingers crossed for a sticky bean and a happy and healthy 9 months! Now chuck a bit of that baby dust our way won’t you? 🙂

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