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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Original poster

TTC after MC - new thread for newbies / lurkers on other threads!

641 replies

Lowkeyloopy · 06/04/2021 12:49

Hi all!

I know there are several threads dedicated to this topic, which I've lurked on for several weeks without saying anything, but some threads (sadly) have so many people on them that it can be a bit hard to follow, or it feels awkward to jump into the middle of a conversation between people who have been chatting for a while. Does anyone fancy joining me on a new thread?

My story: 33, TTC baby #1, conceived first cycle in Feb, but had a MC at 6 weeks in early March. Absolutely awful, as everyone knows, and I was in a rubbish place mentally for a few weeks, but I've also counted my blessings - it was early, I needed no medical intervention and at least I know I can conceive. Also AF has returned today - 29 days after first day of my MC. I usually have a 28-29 day cycle so am so grateful that my body seems to be getting with the programme again.

So CD1 for me, and I'll be TTC this month and back to tracking - BBT from tomorrow, OPKs from CD 11, still taking my Pregnacare and trying to keep exercising and eating healthily!

Would anyone like to join me if they're going through something similar? How have you been coping since your MC? What's on your TTC to-do list?! (Other than the obvious..!)

Baby dust to all xx

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38
CMcA21 · 28/04/2021 22:23

@Lowkeyloopy thanks for the reassurance, I need to just chill a bit I think. Anxious Annie over here. But I’ll try and keep my feet warm but like you have poor circulation. Bed socks are super sexy 😂

@PolarBear63 funnily enough it is an independent school which is also why I’d be worried about getting the job and then going on maternity quickly because you don’t have to follow the same process and I may not be as protected. Thanks for the advice though and so sorry to hear about your miscarriage 😢

PolarBear63 · 28/04/2021 21:06

@CMcA21 In teaching it goes off continuous service, unless you’d be moving to an academy or an independent school, where they may not count it. Most academies do though I think. So you’ll qualify because it counts your employment as a teacher rather than your employment at a specific school. That’s my understanding of it from when I had my DD anyway.

And just so this isn’t too creepy-I’m joining you all at the start of my first cycle since my most recent MC. Both desperate to be and terrified of being pregnant!

Original poster
Lowkeyloopy · 28/04/2021 20:59

@Msd2416 It's great that you have some concrete information from the doctors that you can work with re motility. I think the 100% POM juice is meant to be good for that he can glug it before you ovulate for motility and you can glug it afterwards for uterine lining!

@ItsMeantToBe I hope you're feeling better today. Sorry about your BFN but there is still time - those BFPs can spring up out of nowhere! As @Flopsy88 says, I think checking the cervix is tricky. I'm better with easy-to-read data like temps and POAS!

@Flopsy88 and @CMcA21 - I also read that about keeping feet warm! In which case I'm screwed - my circulation is awful! I've been trying to keep bed socks on (sexy) but sometimes my feet are cold when I'm walking around the house in socks and slippers!

@Flopsy88 - no I didn't get an IB last time so wouldn't expect that again . I never spot either - think I'm just not a very bleedy person! Grin That is, until AF dramatically announces herself. So good to hear you're feeling chilled - exactly as it should be! I got myself unnecessarily worried about getting my peak because the OPKs were super faint and then it suddenly appeared out of the blue.

@CMcA21 - definitely don't temp if you're finding it's creating stress for you. I think it's a tricky thing to do if not combined with OPKs. At least getting your peak confirms you should be about to ovulate, so even if you don't get a temp spike you can tell yourself that if you were going to ovulate that month, it would have happened within 48 hours of the peak. If you're just temping, you could end up DTD'ing for days on end waiting for a spike and not knowing if you ovulated! It's more likely than not that you have ovulated though, and your temps were just a little thrown by something.

The only thing I would add to the other comments on the job is that, if there is one thing I'm learning, our bodies and babies don't care about our plans..! We might think it's a perfect time to have a baby, and they don't play ball, and just when we think it would be super inconvenient, they turn up.. Also, maybe you and your DP should have a big heart to heart about it? You definitely don't want to end up resenting your PGy / DP because you wish you had waited.

9 DPO for me today ladies! I had quite a lot of pinching feelings on the right hand side yesterday, then today some very mild twinges more in the middle. The pinches actually felt a little like what I felt the day before the MC started, when I assume that pregnancy was starting to ... whatever the opposite of "implant" is! So it's made me think it could be implantation maybe . Otherwise no real symptoms though, though I'm writing everything down about how I feel so I can get to know my body better for next month and ignore "false" symptoms.

AF due on Tuesday so don't plan on testing until Wednesday. Though if I don't get any other symptoms in the next couple of days I'll probably write myself off - I definitely had symptoms like blue veiny and sore bbs and increased sense of smell last time by around 11 DPO and they are so far absent..

OP posts:
CMcA21 · 28/04/2021 10:51

@Flopsy88 I haven’t been doing OPKs because I was going to try and do the BBT to not stress me out because I though POAS every day would stress me out more 😂 for gods sake I just feel like I’m in a hole now 😩 should I just order OPKs? Now I’m panicking the MC has stopped me ovulating even though I know I do ovulate because I have really reg periods and I’ve had a proper period since my MC bleed too.

I’m a teacher and it’s for a September start so it would literally mean waiting until after Christmas, it’s so hard because before I got pg I was really career orientated and then I found out I was pg, everything changed and nothing else seemed important except for my baby. Now I’m panicking about not living my life because of TTC because I know it might not happen and I could be TTC until December and nothing happen... @Msd2416 that’s so lucky, I might look in to the guidelines etc for qualifying but as it would be a September start I’d have to wait until definitely September and that seems so long away.

Msd2416 · 28/04/2021 10:24

@CMcA21 with my DD i fell pregnant the week after i started a new job and i qualified for Mat Pay by like 2 days haha so i just scraped it by making sure i worked until the end. Saved my hols to finish early. I wouldnt hold back these things happen. Could happen to someone not TTC too? xxx

Flopsy88 · 28/04/2021 10:22

That must be so frustrating @CMcA21 If it's stressing you out too much then definitely stop. It can take a couple of months of temping to see a pattern though and not everyone sees a rise, or sometimes the rise is gradually. When did you get a positive opk? I really don't think you've wasted a month, you've had loads of signs of ovulation and dtd loads so you're definitely in with a good chance!
That is really tricky re. the job. It's so hard trying to plan your career around ttc when it's impossible to predict when you'll get pg. And also another example of how little men understand the sacrifices we have to make! If you have to be there 12 months to get maternity pay then you'd only have to have been there 3 months before conceiving, is that right? So you'd only have to take a short break from ttc. I guess it depends how good an opportunity the new job is and how happy you are in your current job. Could you start the application process and see what happens? I'm sorry you've got such difficult decisions to make xx

CMcA21 · 28/04/2021 10:05

Thanks @Flopsy88 ❤️

Right girls I am so confused. I was so bloated, have had breast pain and ovulation pain, sore boobs, EWCM but my BBT hasn’t risen. It’s stressing me out so I think I might stop tracking it and next month just do OPKs... feel like we’ve wasted a month now.

Also, I really don’t know what to do, I want to apply for a new job but if we then got pregnant soon I wouldn’t be entitled to maternity pay because I wouldn’t have been working there for a year. DP says he’s not prepared to put trying for a baby on hold... 😩

Flopsy88 · 27/04/2021 20:34

@Lowkeyloopy I think cervix position is a good indicator of ovulation but not of pregnancy, it seems to move around so much in the tww. I hope you're not driving yourself too crazy with symptom spotting! Did you get an implantation bleed last time?

@CMcA21 Apparently you should keep your feet warm in the tww! Something to do with Chinese medicine and your feet being connected to your uterus which likes to be cosy. No idea about how to distract yourself though, I've never managed that!

I'm sorry to hear your updates @Msd2416 and @ShoesEverywhere ❤ I really hope this is your month! 🤞🏻

I'm on CD11 and feeling weirdly chilled about it all. No sign of the OPKs getting darker yet but I wouldn't expect them for another couple of days

Hope everyone's having a good week. It feels like summer is over here! 😭

ShoesEverywhere · 27/04/2021 14:44

@Lowkeyloopy I came on my period yesterday.

Spent a long time today crying and feeling sorry for myself.

When are you going to test? Grin

ItsMeantToBe · 27/04/2021 13:35

@Msd2416 Sorry to hear that. Good luck for this month. Let us know how you get on with your fertility appointment.

I've woken up in a foul mood. I'm assuming it's because AF is coming in the next few days, which isn't helping my mood! Just done another test and got a BFN. My cervix is closed and firm...don't really know what that means?

Hope everyone else is having a better day!

Msd2416 · 27/04/2021 13:34

@Lowkeyloopy how strange I’ve just come off the phone with DH and the doctors have told him his sperm count is high but mobility is low so have given him
Some strengthening tablets so I’m
Crossing everything for a sticky one this month xxx

Original poster
Lowkeyloopy · 27/04/2021 13:24

Oh I’m so sorry @Msd2416 - so cruel for it to happen after your AF was due too, so it’s not even like you could have avoided knowing by waiting until after AF to test. Good news that you’re talking to docs and have got your fertility appointment coming up though - I’m sure it’ll help to have that extra support. Your time will come. Flowers

OP posts:
Msd2416 · 27/04/2021 13:17

@Lowkeyloopy thanks for asking hun. Unfortunately a few days after AF was due I started bleeding and out little line faded. Since I’ve had a doctor appointment and waiting for my fertility appointment. Will still try again this month.

Original poster
Lowkeyloopy · 27/04/2021 09:58

Morning ladies! How are we all today? Anyone symptom spotting or testing?

@Msd2416 and @ShoesEverywhere - I hope everything is still good with you both and your lines have progressed?

I’m 7 or 8 DPO today and am failing miserably to not think about it! I have had definite twinging on my RHS for about 24 hours, had vivid dreams the last few nights and am pretty tired this morning. Quite possibly the power of persuasion of course..! I’m not particularly stressed though I guess, just super interested or something!

@CMcA21 @Flopsy88 - I’ve never managed to work out the whole cervix thing 😂 One day before I got PG it seemed to go from medium high to very low to so high I couldn’t find it in just one day! So don’t think that’s a reliable indicator for me!

OP posts:
CMcA21 · 26/04/2021 19:09

@Flopsy88 thanks for that, I’m so clueless. I had alcohol on Saturday so that will probably explain sundays rise... will keep checking and DTD again tonight. I’m currently CD14 so hopefully it rises tomorrow or my poor DP isn’t off the hook as he thought before 😂😂 never checked cervix position will have a google how to do that.

Are there any things anyone does in the TWW that’s meant to help with either taking your mind off it or with actually helping implantation etc?

Hope you’re all okay.

@Lowkeyloopy it was sunny this morning but it’s grey now and gone cold! Hope you’ve had a lovely day.

Original poster
Lowkeyloopy · 26/04/2021 16:46

@Flopsy88 Haha, SO excited about my toast - gotta love peanut butter 😂 So I read a few threads on here that said increased resting heart rate can be an indicator of pregnancy. Blood volume increases in pregnancy and your heart has to work much harder pumping it all around. A couple of days before my BFP a couple of months ago I could hear/feel my pulse in my mouth when I was trying to sleep - it was so random. So I’m really on the alert for that again I guess. Though I read one thread where a woman’s heart rate plummeted a week or so after her BFP and she was convinced she had miscarried, but the baby was fine. So not 100% failsafe sign.

How are things with you?

Are you ladies in the UK and hopefully enjoying some sunny weather?

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Flopsy88 · 26/04/2021 13:22

@CMcA21 There's so many factors that can affect your temp. I do the same and jam it right under my tongue in the middle, if it's near the edge of my mouth it's lower. Also, if you've had any alcohol the previous night you're supposed to discount it. Could today be the dip for ovulation? Are you on CD14? Hopefully tomorrow it will start rising again. Cervix position is a good indicator too. It should be high and soft around ovulation. EWCM is certainly a good sign and it sounds like you've dtd enough to be covered 🤞🏻

@Lowkeyloopy What does HR tell you? I hadn't thought of tracking that. Is it supposed get faster if you're pregnant? Were you just super excited about your toast? 😂

CMcA21 · 26/04/2021 09:45

@Lowkeyloopy I’m not sure either tbh, I woke up to go the toilet in the night but not sure what time so that could have affected it. We will see. Starting to think the opks are going to be the easiest way to go 😂

When is your AF due? Try not to think about it too much even though I know it’s hard. Fingers crossed for you 🤞🏻

ItsMeantToBe · 26/04/2021 09:45

@CMcA21 tempting seems so confusing to me too. If I don't get a BFP this month I'm going to temp next month.

@Lowkeyloopy I did, it was a BFN but it was just a normal Clearblue test. I thought I had some FRER but haven't. I've got some ones coming from Amazon today. I think I'll try using on of those tomorrow. Still no signs that AF is going to turn up this week, so fingers are still crossed. Have you had any symptoms yet?

Original poster
Lowkeyloopy · 26/04/2021 09:39

Hmm @CMcA21 I’m not sure what to suggest to be honest! Any chance you gulped some water or flung the covers off before you temped?! I find I have to be careful to always hold the thermometer in the same kinda place and in the same way under my tongue too. If I really jam it in, the temp is always higher!

Weird one for me today ladies - my heart rate is going mental! I just had some toast and sat down to work (I wfh) and could feel it beating like crazy! I checked my watch and it was 88. Then it settled a bit, then went up to 94!! My resting heart rate is usually around 60 (it used to be 57 before I got lazy in lockdown 😞). Trying not to read into it. I’m only 7DPO and basically have no other symptoms so I’m searching for something!

@ItsMeantToBe have you tested?!

How is everyone else today?

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CMcA21 · 26/04/2021 06:52

Well I’ve temped again today and it’s back down... not sure if I’m doing it wrong. I am doing it the same time each morning before I get up? I had EWCM on Saturday too so I really thought I must have ovulated...

TTC after MC - new thread for newbies / lurkers on other threads!
CMcA21 · 25/04/2021 19:14

@Lowkeyloopy wow thanks for explaining it to me, I honestly can’t decipher all the different info online. This is literally the problem
I have. I was like ‘ok so we can start having sex on Friday and continue until my temp changes 🙂’ so no wonder he feels like I’m scheduling it in. I feel a bit sorry for him because he just wants it to all be natural but my controlling brain won’t allow for it... fab, I’ll keep temping and see what happens and update you all! I wanna give it a couple months just temping then if it doesn’t happen I’ll get some OPKs. Fingers crossed your dip is implantation 🤞🏻 Are you going to test when AF is due?

Original poster
Lowkeyloopy · 25/04/2021 18:30

But don’t worry too much about the precise timing of ovulation @CMcA21 - you’ve DTD a couple of times during your FW so you’ve done it at the right time!

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Original poster
Lowkeyloopy · 25/04/2021 18:28

@CMcA21 you’re looking for three days of high temps in a row, so if they stay high now, I would say you ovulated on CD13. I think it’s normal to get a temp dip when you ovulate as the egg is released, then the temp rise happens after the egg has released (though the egg could still be bopping along doing its thing at that point as it survives 12-24 hours). You can see that on my chart - the vertical line is ovulation day. I think that’s right anyway - if others have other thoughts please do chip in!

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Original poster
Lowkeyloopy · 25/04/2021 18:25

Chart now attached

TTC after MC - new thread for newbies / lurkers on other threads!
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