TTC after MC - new thread for newbies / lurkers on other threads!

Morning @ItsMeantToBe and everyone - AF has arrived..! Obviously disappointing, but not crushing and really not a surprise. I had tried to tell myself a bit that lack of sore bbs could be a symptom and I wouldn't necessarily feel the same as I did as last time, but I just felt far too normal to be PG! Only annoying thing is those very noticeable pinches and then sharp twinges on the right hand side over a few days. But as my cycle is normal/regular and I don't have pain or any other worrying symptoms of anything, I guess I have to assume they're normal (and to ignore them next time).

Feeling a sense of relief actually, now that I'm out of the TWW. Looking forward to my wine and sushi! Also going to do a HIIT class as soon as AF lets up a bit and generally try to get back to the exercise routine that I neglected since the MC. And have a guilt free BOILING hot bath!

I'm going to treat this this past month as a lesson in understanding my cycle and trusting my body again. Trusting that I WILL get a peak, that I WILL ovulate, that I WILL have a (roughly) regular cycle etc. So I'll focus this month on just being as relaxed and healthy as possible and DTD'ing at the right time. (Though if anyone has any tips for the first half of the month to increase the odds, I'm all ears - I love the tips!)

So feeling ok and positive atm... I can't guarantee I'll feel like that constantly, particularly as I watch my friends' pregnancies progressing.. but my time will come and I have lots to be happy about and grateful for in the meantime.

How is everyone else doing today?

Thanks for the good vibes gals! I can't count the number of times I've gone to check for AF today because of serious crampy AF feelings. Earlier today I wondered whether maybe I'm not PG but all the POM juice and brazil nuts have made my uterine lining TOO good and it's refusing to budge and let AF arrive! That's science right?!

@Flopsy88 - maybe that was just your ovulation dip! I bet you it will spike tomorrow! No judgement here re losing the plot - been there! I hope you'll be able to relax a little over the next few days - I can't practice what I preach, but I would've loved to be able to go to sleep at 1 DPO and wake up at 12 DPO. Wishing my life away - awful! Finding a distraction would've been better.

@CMcA21 Good thinking re when to test and avoiding knowing about a chemical - we've got to protect our mental health and emotions around all this haven't we? I don't think I properly appreciated that. Same goes for symptom spotting. I'm going to try to take it easy next month and put it out of my head until at least 10 DPO... hopefully!

@ItsMeantToBe - I'm going to add brie to my "not PG" to-do list! Looking forward to ordering my sushi mountain tomorrow!

@ALittleOCDOh that's a lot of blood tests - poor you! That makes sense now. Sounds like you have a clean slate :)

Thank you re the lack of sore boobs support! You're not the first to have said that on this thread. Here's hoping.

I might have to test tomorrow if it doesn't show, not Friday. I just went to the loo utterly convinced it had started because of a low back ache - and nada.

I will put myself out of my my misery tomorrow and stop boring everyone on here with my phantom symptoms!

@ALittleOCD Oh you're v welcome! I'm mainly procrastinating from work, haha. Take a look at the Tommy's website too - that says something similar.

That thing about uterus / endometrial lining is a little confusing to me. I think 4mm is pretty normal for someone who is bleeding - you don't want all of it to come away! I think it's around 2-4mm during AF, then increases to like 10mm+ around ovulation.

Are you going for another blood test to confirm HCG is 0? Mine was 12 a couple of days after my MC started and so they said no need to have another test because it all seemed to be passing naturally and would be 0 soon. I'd be interested to know why she thinks HCG needs to drop to 0 before trying again. You'll want to make sure you get a negative pregnancy test beforehand I guess, so you don't get confused about whether you're pregnant or have left over HCG when you try again. But otherwise I don't think there is any danger in still having some HCG in your system while TTC.

That said, I am very much not a doctor and only going off what I'm been told / my extensive googling on the subject! But I would probably only follow the doc's advice if they could back it up with a reason. Two months can feel like a lifetime in TTC world.

Still no AF for me. Temp has dipped a little in the last few days but not loads. Not been easy to temp because I keep waking up in the night really hot and thirsty so temps are slightly erratic.

If no AF by Friday, I'll test then, but I think it's pretty unlikely I'm PG and expect AF to arrive today. No sore bbs, only light cramps and the thirst. I have a headache today but that's normally a precursor to AF so let's see.

Sorry I must be super annoying in not just testing! I think I am genuinely a little scared of POAS now that I know two lines doesn't equal baby. Having a chemical post MC would make me feel more anxious about being able to carry a baby to term, so I just don't wanna know! I also couldn't bear to see the blank white screen and then have to wait around for AF. If the hope is going to end, I'd like it to be on CD1, so my fresh start starts straight away!

My DP and I have decided that if AF arrives, I get to order a mountain of sushi and crack open the bottle of white chilling in the fridge.

Any more updates from anyone else?

Hey @ALittleOCD - love your username! Welcome and I'm so sorry for your loss. Hopefully you're feeling more positive now that you've had one AF and are looking ahead to TTC again.

I would always be so reluctant to question a doctor... but their advice on TTC after MC is SO inconsistent! And I think outdated. I think if you MC'd at 6 weeks or less and your levels are 0 and you feel emotionally ready, there is nothing to stop you from trying again straight away - some people don't even wait until after they get a proper period, as you can ovulate two weeks after a miscarriage. They just advise waiting until after a proper period so that they can date the pregnancy. I spoke to two nurses at the EPU after my MC who said different things - one said I could try straight away, and the other said I should wait for a period. Then when I pushed her a bit on why that was, she could't say - "Well you know science.. some studies say one thing and some studies say another". I eventually decided that the Miscarriage Association knows best - www.miscarriageassociation.org.uk/information/worried-about-pregnancy-loss/trying-again/

That page refers to a study showing you're actually likely to be more fertile in the six months after MC, though they don't know why. And actually they don't limit it to pregnancies that were 6 weeks or less either.

So my vote is, unless your doc has given you a specific reason why you should wait, to crack on if you feel ready!

So sorry to hear AF arrived @ItsMeantToBe. I think it's understandable to feel both disappointed and relieved. Definitely treat yourself for a few days - we spend so much of our time thinking about TTC and trying to prep our bodies for what might be around the corner - take some time out for YOU and be kind to yourself!

I used this thermometer which is easy to use and seems accurate! Can't link to Amazon for some reason, but this is the description: Femometer Digital Basal Body Thermometer Fertility Monitor Record BBT Manually, Draw BBT Chart Pinpoint Ovulation Day, High Accuracy Perfect Companion

Warning - It does beep 10 times to signal that it's settled on a temp though - I've learned to shove it under a pillow at that point to stop it waking up DP!

I would also recommend these testing strips - Femometer Ovulation Test Strips Kit, 50 LH OPK, Sensitive Fertility Predictor Testing Sticks, Accurate Results

Found my peak on them both months I've used them (and I'm rapid onset - blink and you miss it).

Also, as @CMcA21 says, it's entirely possible you did everything right. I read somewhere (I think it was The Impatient Women's Guide to Getting Pregnant, which I would recommend if you haven't read it!) that even if you do everything PERFECTLY, the chances are still only 1 in 3 or something - our bodies simply don't let us get pregnant every time sperm is within the vicinity of egg otherwise women would be constantly pregnant (evolution didn't factor in the possibility of birth control...). So hopefully you can take some comfort in that.

I think I'll be right behind you with AF. Got low back ache and the beginnings of some cramps and my cervix has gone from medium/high to low in the course of today - think she'll arrive overnight. Part of me is tempted to test even if it's only to confirm a chemical, because I was so sure those twinges meant something! But think that would be more upsetting than comforting, so will resist.

@Flopsy88 Maybe you've had multiple peaks?
This article is helpful: premom.com/blogs/how-to-use-ovulation-tests/surges-and-peaks-gradual-onset Particularly this bit: "In order to achieve pregnancy, a follicle (casing and egg) is released from your ovary. The follicle must rupture to release the egg. In cases of multiple follicular stimulation, your body releases the follicle, but it doesn’t rupture. So, the egg is not released and you are unable to get pregnant. Your body realizes that this has happened and so releases a second follicle a few days later."

Or maybe you've released two eggs and are going to have twins