TTC 35+ Thread 8

@Kitekat81 Thank you so much, I completely agree with everything you’ve said. I was in such a tailspin panic and trying to formulate some sort of vague plan is helping me cope. You’re right, we’ve been trying for 20 months which is probably about how much time I’d have given it anyway, so thank you as I hadn’t thought of it like that before. Ive never been more aware of my age- 37 in two months! but things don’t drop off a cliff and SO many people have success many years later. Picking up all my test results from the doctor this week and will be speaking to the private clinics once I have those.
Meanwhile still having regular periods so there is always a chance of it happening naturally 🙏🤞Thank you again and I agree it’s important to focus on one step at a time which is what I’ll try and do from now on!🤪

@Misty84 I'm so sorry you're going through this. Our situations are very similar and I've had my fair share of tears trying to process this, so I do know how you feel. What I would say is don't beat yourself up about lost time. Although it is really frustrating that the NHS didn't tell you earlier (and definitely worth complaining about) I think even if you'd known this earlier you would still have wanted to try naturally for 18ish months, because low ovarian reserve does not necessarily prevent natural conception. I know it's not just about that as it also would have given you extra time to save, do research and just generally prepare for what might happen. But I do still think that age must be on your side. I know it's all about perception, and there are some lovely ladies on here in their 40s who probably think that I'm just a young thing at 39, but at 36 your chances must be better because of higher egg quality than other ladies seeking ivf in their later 30s and 40s. I think it's a good idea to speak to a few clinics, line up some appointments, and try not to panic - just take it one step at a time. That's what I'm trying to do - I feel better when I have a plan so I'm focusing on that and trying not to worry yet about the future and what might happen if it doesn't work. We are still so early in our journeys, still lots of things to try and although there are no guarantees that it will work out, there are also chances that it will, so we need to hold on to that and try and stay as positive as we can xx

Thank you @Pamparam! I know everyone on here is on their own unique journey and I pray we all get there in the end 🙏✨

Please rant away @Misty84 - you’re always welcome to here! It’s awful that you’ve wasted 6 months on this. It’s good that you have savings, and you must spend them on what is most important to you. Never regret that! Fingers and toes crossed for you x

Just want to say thank you to everyone who expressed concern and kind words at my response from the fertility clinic, I’ve emailed a complaint as I’m still incredibly upset and frustrated that it took them 5 months to tell me that my low AMH level means I’m not eligible for NHS IVF. Diminished ovarian reserve means I have absolutely no time to waste and they’ve caused me to waste half a year.
@Kitekat81 I know we’re in similar positions and I’ve been researching constantly since the phone call a few days ago. I’ve come to the conclusion that I’m not going to rule out IVF despite the NHS saying the chances of success are low. No one knows how our bodies will react until we give it a shot. I’ve read countless success stories. I’ll also talk to Create about natural ivf but relying on one egg makes me nervous, the success rate is so much lower. (when I examine the rates I’m looking at age and AMH level as factors btw). I think, if I can (and depending on what the experts say) I will try regular ivf first just to see what my response is.
Egg donor is final option. Much better success rates for that because the egg is from a younger woman. Obviously there’s the whole emotional side of that to deal with but I know it’ll get to the point where I’ll do anything to have a baby. Everything costs thousands of pounds of course so we’ve had to reevaluate our life. We were planning to buy a house this year but that’s going on the back burner. All our savings will be going into trying to achieve our miracle baby🙏
Have cried so much over the last 2 days, it’s been so draining and just felt so panicked about the future. Trying to get a bit more positivity back now. Reading It starts with the Egg as definitely need to focus on egg quality now!
Sorry for my morning rant everyone...happy Sunday 🙂

@JessWi I’m engaged too! Don’t have any plans for our wedding yet though because I’m a kiwi and live in NZ with my British fiancé but obviously all his family are in the UK still and we want to be able to celebrate with them in attendance so sort of waiting for long haul travel to open up again.. do you have a child / children already? I agree, it’s never seems a great time to be pregnant but if it happens it happens! So I think that’s the approach we’ll take next. I’ve been through a lot in life so after this cycle I hope to just enjoy what we have and try to live each day as it comes.. 🥰 xx

I'm 35 - TTC baby no 2 after swearing I'd never have any more 😂 my new DP has no children. Positive OPK yesterday so DTD last night and will do tonight 🤞🏻 for us all x

@Farfaraway1 I feel exactly the same. We’ve just put our wedding back (again!) to next March, so if it doesn’t happen this month I’m going to almost stop trying (as i don’t really want to be pregnant on my wedding day or honeymoon) but if it happens it happens. It’s no fun at all trying to work out optimum dates, poas, getting stressed if you think you’ve missed the window to dtd. For the past year I feel like we’ve tried and nothings happened so far, maybe if we don’t (like last time) then it might just happen.

@Twelvestars

I totally agree with the above. I think it's actually quite sad that all your really taught growing up in education that girls get periods and you have sex once unprotected and you get pregnant, which us ladies know, is really not quite the case!

The cycle and ovulation process is quite amazing and fascinating but somehow it's just brushed over 🤷🏻‍♀️

@Farfaraway1 since embarking on my ttc journey, I’ve learnt so much about the inner workings of the female body in all its stages but especially about the intricacies of conception, ovulation, menstruation, assisted reproduction and all related issues. But we don’t receive this sexual education in such depth and detail at school and growing up. I feel, in my case, I would’ve probably made some better informed decisions had I been more educated in this regard. Also I am in part responsible for not taking the initiative to self educate a bit earlier.

@Twelvestars thanks hun 💖 they are 3 and 6 although both have birthdays in July so nearly 4 & 7 🥰 Yea it’s certainly been bit of a rough journey.. yes the female body is amazing!! Not many women know that your Fallopian tubes are not actually attached to your ovaries hence why in the case an ectopic the remaining Fallopian tube can move and swing by the other ovary to pick up the released egg! Amazing.. xx

@Farfaraway1 bless your 2 DCs! How old are they? Sorry you had to go through all that. Must’ve been a lot to handle, emotionally and physically. Interesting about the Fallopian tubes. The female body is just so amazing.

@Twelvestars forgot to say have also had an ectopic and now only have one tube as a result of that. But having one tube doesn’t effect your fertility too much as you can still ovulate from the side with no tube and the remaining tube will ‘pick it up’ sounds strange but that’s exactly how I got pregnant with my second after the ectopic!

@Twelvestars I’ve been off the pill since 2019, had a MMC, D&C and a CP since then. This is cycle 8 since the surgery. I’m 37 and have 2 DC’s so feel very blessed to have them. 💖 xx

@climbershell 😂😂 me too! And I’ll tell myself I won’t test until at least 14dpo but then cave and test ridiculously early then spend hours squinting at the test convincing myself there is DEFINITELY a faint line when there really isn’t... 🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️ 🤪

@Farfaraway1 how long have you been ttc? I’ll tell you how things are for me. I start using CB sticks a few days before expected ovulation day and I usually get some ewcm to varying degrees. When CB (pink ones) gives me a smiley face, I usually ovulate within the next 24-36 hours and that is confirmed by ovulation pains that last from 1 to 6 hours. And so that’s when I start counting 1dpo. I’m not sure about the tender breasts because that fluctuates throughout the month - not particularly just around ovulation or AF.

Sometimes dtd might feel mechanical especially if we’ve been doing it very often during fertile week. Sometimes me or DH are just so exhausted or busy but we sort of will ourselves to dtd... It waxes and wanes, sometimes natural and beautiful and other times mechanical and that’s something we’ve learnt to embrace and accept as part and parcel of the whole journey.

@Farfaraway1 I'm 2dpo, so same sorta time to wait. After a few days I'll probably have imaginary symptoms 😆

Well ladies, today I am 1dpo! (According to the app). I’ve had slightly tender boobs the last day or so - is that a good sign ovulation has happened? It’s not unusual for me to have tender boobs about now. I’ve also decided.. after we dtd last night I want to get back to dtd for fun and love rather than for ttc. Last night (as it has other nights) it just seemed so mechanical.. I think if it hasn’t worked this cycle then I’m going to throw out the ovulation sticks, delete the app, stop trying so hard and just try to relax. Probably a lot easier said than done!!! 😂

@soontobeamama that's exactly the same as me, I feel the only thing missing is the exercise just need to get my butt in gear!

@Marvellouslymadmum and @thislittlebird - I feel I need to lose weight as well, I have put on more weight than I would like in the past year and need to get some off, hopefully that will also make a difference - if I don't conceive this month, I'm going to go for it big time - I'm already eating healthy and taking all the vitamins and supplements etc, I just need to make more of an effort with exercise.

@Misty84 I was reading a bit about natural ivf earlier after a few mentioned it and it says it's especially recommended for people with a low ovarian reserve, so could absolutely be an option for you.

@Pamparam I hate how our bodies play tricks on us it's just so cruel! It would be nice if someone invented something that told us exactly what was going on and why

@thislittlebird I feel like Covid has had such a detrimental effect on my weight and how active I am I just hope I can get back to where I'd like to be afterwards! Can't help with the ttc either

*very, not good

That’s frustrating that they didn’t tell you before @Misty84. I wish there was more sensitivity to how time isn’t on our side. Six months waiting for nothing is ridiculous.

@Pamparam that all sounds good weird, and yeah i have no idea why these things happen but they very much seem to. What day are you? Day 20 here and I’m not ovulating so far this month which is whatever, we aren’t trying this cycle because medication, I need to not worry as much as I can.

@Kitekat81 yeah that’s why I did it really, because I thought my (terrible) GP would be unhelpful if I called. Superdrug have a selection of home tests so i ordered the iron and ferritin one, it comes with a lancet so you can do it yourself, prick the finger and then squeeze it into a tube. But I’m a bit squeamish so he did it for me. Then you post it off and you get an email from a Superdrug doctor with the results a couple of days later. Was a good service, I just wish i had a real idea of my iron rather than an inflated version in seven seas.

@Twelvestars I don’t know if I have low iron tbh, I just tested it in the new year when thinking about what could be wrong with me. Had to stop seven seas now because the drugs I’m on say don’t take iron supplements with them, so I’ll be off them for a few weeks yet.

I definitely have to count calories more so now, but I’ve done it enough that I roughly know and If I've over eaten a bit it won’t make a great deal of difference, it does help not to gain quickly.

@Marvellouslymadmum yeah, one stone down would be great. When I started all this I had planned to get there for ttc but everything else health wise has got in the way.

@Misty84 fingers crossed the consultants respond quickly and positively.

Bad luck @02Carol and you're not out yet @Noodella18!

No idea what's going on with me. My 'AF' yesterday turned out to be not that (I use a menstrual cup and will spare you the details but usually day 1 is very obviously period, this was hardly anything over the whole day). I used my out of date cheapy this morning and was the whitest of white BFN, but very strong control line so I don't doubt it was working fine. Today nothing.

These symptoms really must be psychosomatic, because if I had £1 every time I read on the internet 'this has never happened to me before TTC'... but this type of intermittent spotting from 8DPO...? Never ever for me (except when pregnant second time after my MMC).

Anyway. Hope all have a good weekend!