TTC 35+ Thread 8

I’m usually in sync with @Kitekat81 roughly, but no, my body decided it was a no to ovulation and af this month lmao.

@Marvellouslymadmum happy birthday for yesterday!

Honestly, it’s really frustrating. I thought I’d be able to monitor it all while I wasn’t ttc. And I had just had my first normal cycle in months uggghhhhh. Oh well. I still have to go to acupuncture in April, then we have 4 days away. Looking forward to that.

Yeah it’s been fmu with CB @Twelvestars. I doubt I’ve missed it tbh, probably just my body being a cow.

And yeah, I think my afc is fine, at face value, but I’m also having issues ovulating well or whatever (low progesterone and what not), and I wonder if it’s a symptom of quite a number of follicles competing, I dunno. Either way, I’m not trying this month. Maybe stay in there, egg. Save yourself.

I’m getting quite into low alcohol wine and beer lately, enjoying a nice botanical sparkling wine tonight, so that’s a nice end to Monday.

@Feanorous thank you for your positivity! You are right, my sister was also the youngest in her NCT group at 34, most were 38/39/40. And thank you @Geriatric1234 for your eternal good humour! I am certain we will see some more bfp's on this thread very soon. Who else is coming up to the end of their cycle? My af is due on Friday/Saturday so not much longer to wait now.

Happy birthday for yesterday @Marvellouslymadmum!! 🥳

@feanorous
Spot on...I think the internet can be a negative place. Also bear in mind alot of the websites are from ivf clinics and other businesses that have a particular bias. Don't get me wrong...those businesses do a great job, but I do find their stats can be a bit biased.

Welcome to the other newbies! And sorry to hear some of you are a bit down today. I think it helps to think of all you did with your 30s, and all the experience you can hopefully bring to motherhood.

I tested on saturday at 10 dpo and it was BFN. Felt so crap about it that i am trying to hold off for another dsy or two before testing again. Feeling slightly hopeful this month which is prob ridiculous! :-)

@Twelvestars thank you! Yes I'm hoping so, though it could be a long wait still once I get the appointment booked but still progress

@Marvellouslymadmum happy birthday and I really hope 42 will be your year! I would consider better iron levels a good birthday gift haha. Fingers crossed you’ll get your amh and afc tests soon, whichever way possible 🤞🏻

Hi @Smiffette and welcome

Hi @Overlyanxious I totally get the whole feeling like it will never happen thing! I have been ttc for 3 years with 2cp amd 2mc, it's very hard to be happy for others when you're waiting for your turn!

Hi @wj82 it's definitely possible to have a healthy pregnancy at your age and beyond, you have good results too - how long have you been trying? I've seen a lot of people say they've tried acupuncture for stress. Is that a possibility for you?

For egg quality you can take a good pre conception vitamin plus ubiquinol then there are a load of other supplements that could help too. Have you have any vitamin levels checked?

@thislittlebird what a nightmare! I know
You're not ttc this month but would still be useful to know what's occurring 🤦🏼‍♀️

Yes to the positivity ladies! I turned 42 yesterday and need some hope 😂 I am feeling happy about the fact that my iron levels are much better now and that could've been having a massive impact on ttc plus if I don't get a referral letter bu Wednesday I've got a code to book In on the nhs line so hopefully will get my amh and afc tests soon too!

Thank you ladies. I am trying hard not to spam this thread but fertility struggle is such a lonely journey! People may try to understand but no one really gets it until one experiences it.

@Geriatric1234 hey hey! I love your positivity so hang around here always please! Actually I was just saying the same thing about luck. You know, I always try to remember my sister in law getting pregnant by chance at 43 and her husband at 45 and all the other success stories of women in their 40s and it just fills my heart with such hope.

@Feanorous thanks too for your big dose of positivity. Yes a lot of times things happen unplanned and unexpectedly and that includes pregnancies 😂 It’s science: stress hormones are not good for anything! But it is easier said than done (in my case). Ha!

@JessWi that is my positive thoughts at the moment. I’ve discovered that pink prosecco from M&S.

@thislittlebird I remember that’s how we first connected when I got on this thread. I suppose after spending time on this thread, a lot of the ladies here share this predicament of regret and whatnot.

Sorry about the stress of ovulation. Have you been issuing fmu? Why do I have a feeling that for whatever reason you might have missed the surge or is that not a possibility?

Touch wood yours and @wj82’s amh/afc numbers are good. You know, just like that article I shared on the previous thread referencing studies that are positive about conception for the over 35 group. It’s more about luck with the 20-22% probability every month and less so about age. I’ve come across young women (20s) on mumsnet who have been struggling with infertility - known and unknown reasons - so I try to be hopeful like that about our age. But to be realistic age does play a role.

@Feanorous THANK YOU! For that positivity.

@wj82 I think I’m just deluded as I feel supremely optimistic! I’m 42, AMH 6.2 and afc 8 and I feel like a muthaeffing ROCKSTAR with those numbers at my age. 🤣

Ultimately, if I were to say to a gp that I’m just gonna have unprotected sex and will assume I WON’T get preggo they’d call me a loony!

It’s just luck. And if I can’t have a baby, we’ll, that’s just the way the world turns. I shall have more dogs and a much nicer car!

(I say this purely to raise - hopefully - a smile or two, not to make light of very real worries.)

I don’t really worry about achieving another pregnancy (I had an MC a few months ago) as I know nature will figure it all out for me.

And I’ve said it before, but my sister is currently pregnant after cancer treatment with an AMH of 3.2 and AFC of 6, so it’s really very possible for everyone here.

Xxxx

@wj82 “ I often wonder which is worse - the chemical pregnancy, my fertility struggle, my regrets or my fear of being childless forever or that my worry that something may go wrong if / when i get pregnant next?” You just echoed my thoughts, save the chemical pregnancy. I hope you and @Misty84 are successful with IVF or natural, either way fingers crossed for you.

Oh dear ladies...spreading lots of positive and happy thoughts to everyone feeling a bit down today.

The sun is shining and tomorrow is going to be hot! You know what that means...as we’re not pregnant gin & ☀️!! Yay yay!!

Had a google...maybe it’s the antibiotics. I’m on them for over 7 weeks and it seems they can effect oestrogen.
thefemedic.com/menstruation/im-taking-antibiotics-could-this-affect-my-period/

[quote Katiekattty]@thislittlebird that’s really odd, anything else different besides the meds this month? Do you have any cheapies to use until something changes or could the CB be faulty?[/quote]
Nothing different @Katiekattty, I do have slightly irregular cycles. So although it could be 26 days (last month), it’s usually 29, but has occasionally been as long as 36 days. So I guess I could still ovulate on day 24 or something but we’re not trying this month and I don’t see the point in keep testing because it is pricey. Cheapies don’t seem to work for me so that’s why the CB is my go to. So yeah.....seems kinda pointless to continue now. I know it’s either not happening or it’s late, I at least know my period will be a surprise event.

I’m also at fault for not asking more questions or researching but that’s perhaps because a few years back when I was 34 or 35 I wasn’t feeling too broody yet. It was only until the pandemic when my life slowed down that I had a moment or two to myself and started to think “wait a second, I’d like a baby or two that look like my husband and that are the product of our love for each other”

It breaks my heart even typing this out... oh well”

I could have typed this out @Twelvestars

We decided pre pandemic but then all my friends have since had a baby/about to have a baby who started trying in the first lockdown. One had one recently. I haven’t been in touch yet.

I frequently kick myself for not starting earlier.

You’re a similar age and AMH/afc to me @wj82! I’m 38 in May, 36 amh/28 afc.

All my friends (bar me) got pregnant without issue late 30s. It’s very possible, it’s just hard to say how why some of us aren’t lucky.

@thislittlebird that’s really odd, anything else different besides the meds this month? Do you have any cheapies to use until something changes or could the CB be faulty?

Hey everyone

Just checking in - 6dpo here and time is going so so slowwwwly. I've had mild dull aches low in the abdomen since 2dpo. I don't know if it's my mind wanting them to be there, or maybe they are normal and I've just not paid that much attention previously. Just got to wait but it's so annoying lol.

It seems so many of you are feeling really low about your age. I'm 38 as well, but TTC number 3. The first two were not conceived all that easily (1.5 yrs and 11 months) with a MMC and chemicals along the way. I know how disheartening it can be.

When I had my first I had just turned 30 and was in an NCT group with 9 other couples. I was the youngest by a mile! The other 8 Mums were all between 35 and 40 with most being 38/39. Most have gone on to have second children too with no problems.
The internet has many many benefits but unfortunately it can be a hot bed for negative stories. Think of all the women out there who get pregnant every day. Naturally when you start to have worries, you gravitate towards a community that understands. That's why reading every little thing on the internet can be bad for our mental health.
It's like when you work in customer service, they tell you that statistic show if a customer has a bad experience they will tell on avg 17 people. If they have a great experience, they tell only 4! It's the same thing here... Does that make sense?
I'm just trying to say KEEP GOING, it will most likely happen.

After 1.5 yrs of trying at 29, I got pregnant on honeymoon when we didn't 'try'. There has to be something in it that everyone tells us to relax. Easier said that done though I know :)

Much love and baby dust to everyone x

@Noodella18 I’m 9 dpo and like you I ovulated later than usual (which is good cause it means I’m back to my regular 25-28 day cycle) and so I’m expecting AF on Thursday. I’ve decided to hold off until then. I don’t know if I’ll succeed though 😅

@Twelvestars I’ve had 21 day bloods that were fine and a scan that showed I have mild adenomyosis. The gynae said it should be fine - but I worry that it’s a problem as non mild forms cause conception issues and has increases in miscarriages.

Have you had any tests?

@wj82 it’s just so hard. My new approach is to try not to put too much pressure on being positive but try to find things that give me a bit of happiness everyday. Also to have little rants but then try to be less negative once it’s out of my system.

I am just here to say I still haven’t ovulated on cd21

Not sure if the drugs I’m on are doing it and at this point I’m just wasting expensive clear blue sticks. Thinking I should give up testing for ovulation and just accept my period will be an enigma this month. If it comes at all. Maybe count backwards by 12 days (usual LP) to when it does come. So yeah, that’s an unexpected spanner. Have to hope it all resets in a few weeks when I’m not on meds.

I’m probably really behind on the thread, hello to any new people!

@wj82 I was told about my low AMH four days ago so we’ve only just decided to go ahead with private IVF. Will be starting ASAP.

@Misty84 when do you plan to start you ivf journey? i have my fertility mot done with a previous clinic and scheduled my first consultation with this clinic i decided on in april. so if all goes well will start in may.

apologies - im new to mumsnet and still trying to post the msg correctly. doesn't help that i can't seem to edit my past msg :P

[quote 02Carol]@wj82

Hi, I can relate to what you say about stress and trying to relax about it all.
It's so difficult when this is such a major 'life event'.

There are most definitely people older than yourself who have had successful healthy pregnancies, both naturally and through other methods.
My sister carried naturally, and delivered her first a week before her 40th, she credits hers down to baby aspirin.

I'm 38 too, I have decided after reading a lot of these stories and posts to make an appointment to speak to my GP, as lot of people say they wish they had sooner so I'm taking the plunge.

Its hard not to get consumed by TTC, and Dr Google is a dangerous rabbit hole, but it's also great for places like this with helpful advice and people who can relate to what you have said. [/quote]
@02Carol thanks. it helps being able to talk about it to like-minded people.

im avoiding my facebook where my friends post their kids / babies photos. it's hard on me. my partner is trying to be as supportive as he could but i know i can't go on sulking like that.

I worry a lot - i am trying to read self-help books but so far it's been challenging. I had a chemical pregnancy that i find it hard to tell my family. I often wonder which is worse - the chemical pregnancy, my fertility struggle, my regrets or my fear of being childless forever or that my worry that something may go wrong if / when i get pregnant next?

i am planning for ivf also because of the genetic screening. im a self taught, self certified internet obgyn now - the numbers are against me and it's just...as you can tell - eating me in.