TTC 35+ Thread 8

@TTCat39 can I join the brew gang?!

And I think you could cut out a couple of those ov tests, and I’d go for the 5:30 wake up as BBT is also least reliable. I’m not doing anything but peeing on sticks, don’t think I could cope with more. But I soooo geddit - you think “what if this one test is the one that gets me over line?!?” Crazy...but understandable.

@Misty84 You truly break my heart. You are carrying so much on your shoulders, albeit with the most wonderful of intentions. I have no doubt you’ll get there, but you must find a way to cut yourself some slack too - you deserve to be happy. And you will be. Xxxx

Thank you so much @Marvellouslymadmum, that means a lot to me ❤️

Morning all, I'm very sorry I haven't been posting I've just been a bit all in my head this month! I have been reading though, glad some of you are feeling better after your wobbly days and help to the newbies 👋🏻

@Misty84 o cried when I read your post and couldn't possibly not comment. I'm so so sorry for the loss of your sister, I can only imagine how devastating it must've been for you and your family and totally understand why it means so much to you, having your own family. I really am Wishing with all my heart that you have some wonderful news soon one way or another - determination like yours to have a family, will mean you get there eventually however that family is formed. ❤️ xxx

EVERYONE: this podcast is GREAT. Highly recommend! It’s called ‘Big Fat Negative’ and it’s all about TTC/IVF and pregnancy myths. Hosts going through fertility struggles. Really worth a listen. X

podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/big-fat-negative-ttc-fertility-infertility-and-ivf/id1431698726

Hello ladies. Can I join please? I'm ttc no 2. 7 month of trying and 35. I currently spot throughout my luteal phase so wondering if this is an issue. Baby dust to you all xx

@TTCat39 That really does sound ideal!!💐

Just to explain further about saying giving up is not an option:

• OH is only 31 and told me on first date how much he wants kids. Both his brothers are fathers. His SA result is fine so the problem is all down to me. So I have to exhaust all avenues otherwise god knows what it would do to our relationship.

• I’ve spent the last 15 years of my life looking after other people’s children (I work with autistic kids). I grow so close to each child yet they are never mine and I always looked forward to the day when there would be a little person calling ME mummy. My job means I’m surrounded by small children and their parents all the time, it used to be fine but now that I’m having these major fertility issues it just makes my heart ache.

• When I was 30 the greatest love of my life, my 22 year old little sister, was killed due to a carbon monoxide leak in her flat. It destroyed my family and we’ll never be ok. I always hoped that having a baby could provide the joy to my parents and myself that has been completely absent from our lives since that day when everything changed. But no, this has just been another journey of heartache.

Sorry- probably the most depressing post I’ve ever written, and the first time I’ve mentioned my sister here which shows how bad things have got 🥺

@Bombshell85
You may just have to cut down a bit if you get preggo. Im on 50mg and wont be coming off until into 2nd trimester if I manage to get that far 🙏🙏

Im also on sertraline 150mg i hope it wont effect ttc i have a long list of meds im on due to back problems and fibromyalgia 😒 still waiting for ovulation week.....

@Misty84 Come and have a brew with me, we don't even need to talk, about anything, we can just occasionally glance at each other, shake our heads, shrug, sigh (possibly scream...) and then put the kettle on again. Nothing distracts me, nothing makes me feel better, and although I wouldn't wish it upon anyone, it comforting to know I have comrades

Feeling so crap, completely consumed by researching low AMH since the bad result 2 weeks ago. Don’t want to see or hear from ANYONE who is pregnant or just given birth. Would quite like a black hole to swallow me up so don’t have to be in this frustrating, confusing, pressurised and wearying minefield any longer.
@TTCat39 I feel the same, just want to decide on a private clinic and put everything in the hands of the experts. I’m so tired and everything has been so painfully slow on the NHS (which has not helped mental health AT ALL). Really hope a private route will be quicker, it better be considering the amount it’s going to cost us.🥺 Feel so drained from all of this!! But I can’t just give up and accept a life without children, that’s not going to be an option for us.

Also @Geriatric1234 A weekend in Amsterdam sounds SO good right now. Not so bothered about the booze, just for he adventure. Got room in your case for a 5'10'' 39 year old?!

@JessWi @Geriatric1234 I was out running this morning and trying not to think about TTC, but was obviously thinking about it very much At the moment I'm trying to gather as much info as possible for our referral, charting my ass off everything, setting an alarm for 5.30 every day to temp, reading books and blogs, etc etc etc ad nauseum. And I decided that after I've done that, and we get a referral with more tests etc, I'd quite like to just leave it to the experts and chill the f- out. Is that possible, can they do all the leg work from there with bloods etc, or do I need to keep doing BBT, OPK, C.M. and cervix monitoring etc. Can we just chill and keep DTD when we're able? Please?!?!
I'm tying myself in knots today because I'm 1DPO and my temperature only rose by a few fractions of a degree. What if I didn't ovulate this month at all? Hoping to have, given that I'm doing my progesterone bloods in a few days' time. What am I doing to myself?!??

Hi @Geriatric1234 . Nice to be part of this group full of understanding ladies. It's been a lonely few months until I discovered Mumsnet. My OH finally decided to tell me he wanted another child on Christmas Day (I've wanted to try for years as I knew time was ticking ) and so far had no luck conceiving . Last time conceived straight away . He doesn't get it and it's not his fault that I am taking it personally like it's my 'ageing eggs' fault but that is how I feel. All he is doing is complaining that I want to have Sex when I'm in my window!!! How does he think we make babies ????? Sorry rant over . Feeling a bit stressed at the minute x

@selina37 TOTALLY!! I’m like ‘a child would be amazing’ but also ‘we have a weekend with friend in Amsterdam booked for Nov...be so annoying if I couldn’t drink...’ Shallow I know, but genuinely goes through my mind.

And fyi I only mean because I’d be pg - I know people with kids have loads of fun too! Probably more efficiently actually... 😂

@TTCat39 @thislittlebird @Loladoodle Thank you my lovelies ❤️ Yeah, feel way better today, was just a sigh moment i think! And @M4v3r1ck you are - as always - so right! We all need a vent now and again.

I wasn’t feeling defeated so much as out of control of my future i think. But you have pepped me right up, all of you (@Kitekat81 too!) and reminded me that there is no “bad” outcome here. You’re the bestest interweb pals a gal could need. 😘

@JessWi I have a suspicion that you’ll be back here with a shock BFP when you least expect it, but I agree there’s a lot to be said for taking a soul sabbatical from this if you have a little more time on your side. It’s so healthy to just appreciate what you have NOW and not make life all about seeking something. I think i might take a month off to do the same! Wishing you lots of love and luck. Xxx

@thislittlebird Are you doing NHS IVF? I’m sure all the delays feel sooooo loooong but will actually come around so quickly. You’ll get there! I know it! Xxx

HI! @Gummybear17 😀 x

@thislittlebird
Iv peaked on cd13 which is earlier than before. Before i started on a.d's and stress and anxiety levels were through the roof I was having a peak on cd20 for 2 months. See if it makes a difference to your cycle?
I read that exercise 3 times a week can boost sperm count up to 30% so I gave my husband a kick up the arse and hes glad I did because hes feel fitter, happier and his clothes fit him better. Will you OH do some exercise ? X

@selina37 yes I knew you were of the same mindset for sure! I take b6 religiously as you know and this month I am so irritable and moody- I can’t even imagine how bad is he without it! Usual pms here for me and we didn’t really try this month for a first due to a lot going on it wasn’t a priority so I am quite sure we missed the window anyway! I do hate the week before af though I feel horrible and can’t shake the moodiness 😠 I’m sure I am a delight to live with right now 🙄😬

Hey all, thanks for checking in @Loladoodle all ok here just in the boring TWW, actively trying NOT to think about what dpo I am! Few cramps though, and a bit of moodiness but I think that's down to tiredness etc, the B6 really did help last month.

I saw the earlier posts about not worrying which path we end up taking and that's how I feel! In fact, a lot of the things I enjoy doing now I wouldn't be able to with a little one so I can see the positives in either path. That said, once you start trying it hard to shake the 'need', iykwim.

[quote MgW1]@thislittlebird
Are you on sertraline?
Stress and anxiety defo impact ovulation. So fingers cross it will improve. Iv cut down on vitamins due to them messing my cycle up. Just on seven seas and extra b6 10mg amd it seems to be right for me. Did you say if your husband has had any tests done i think you did ? Mine has heen doing running and hes cut back on alcohol to 2 days a week x[/quote]
@MgW1 No, not setraline, but everyone else seems to be on it 🤔. I’m on citalopram. I definitely haven’t had sweeping changes but it’s not been long.

I’m not on any vitamins but d right now, doctor has formally prescribed that one at this point. I am going to restart b6 and magnesium soon because I’m hoping it will help get my hormones in check a bit.

I should have been taking folic acid but I fell out of the habit. I’ll start that one again soon, can’t take seven seas etc until I’ve finished the drugs I’m on.

The husband has had two SAs now, both below par. Frustrating because he isn’t in terrible shape really, just carrying a little extra weight. He doesn’t smoke, doesn’t even necessarily drink once per week, maybe a beer or gin with me when he’s off work, but nothing much at all. I do wonder if being mostly vegetarian doesn’t help, or maybe working shifts/nights. If we could just get pregnant we could move, move on, get new jobs or a new area, but we’re stuck in this pattern until that point because we need to save our money.

@M4v3r1ck thank you! How are you?

@M4v3r1ck I'm soooo crazy exhausted! I finished work earlier than planned today, will just catch up Sat. Gonna be shorter days even if means few hours on a Sat for me to get through what jobs I have booked in & taking on much less from now on, turned down some big jobs I quoted for last week. Going to bed 1-2hrs earlier than usual too.

I have had slight right stitch last 2 days and mild cramp, but higher up than pmt cramps. Couldn't get through to doc today, tho I no there's no real rush

Still can't believe it's real tbh and keep expecting spotting or AF when I wipe! Want to test all the time, my mind keeps thinking of mc rates etc... Gonna test once a week til I get that 3+ weeks on CB I think

@M4v3r1ck I agree re mc, it can happen to anyone at any age! Happened to me last time I was ttc 6 years ago and as difficult as I found it, I’m trying not to let that hinder this process as what will be will be.

@selina37 how you doing?

So I’m out (again!) for this month...and I think now for the next year. It was really interesting to come on here this evening and see some of your views from earlier, quite honestly how I’ve been feeling for a while now. It’s such a ball ache spending so much mental energy on when you’re fertile, when you’re not, what to take to help, what signs to look out for, just all of it feels like too much effort for me at the moment. I have a million things in my life, I’m the MD of a (now largish) company I started from scratch with way too many employees, a beautiful 10 year old son, I’ve dedicated my free time to eventing, a house that needs doing up, a wedding in 11 months and quite frankly the only thing that sometimes makes me feel a bit ‘bluh’ is the stress of not conceiving...so fu*k it, I’m going to put down the opks and the count down to dtd and I’m gonna cruise along for the ride, if it happens it’ll be a lovely surprise. I may put some energy back into it once I’m married next year but for now I’m hitching a ride on the chill out train 🚂!

I’ll keep praying for you all and sending positive baby dust your way and would love to stay in the chat to share your journeys, with a gin in my hand at the same time, but for now, it’s time for me to focus my energy elsewhere. Stay awesome everyone x

Can I join please @Feanorous I'm also 38 TTC number 3 I have 2 girls 4 and 8 xx

@thislittlebird
Are you on sertraline?
Stress and anxiety defo impact ovulation. So fingers cross it will improve. Iv cut down on vitamins due to them messing my cycle up. Just on seven seas and extra b6 10mg amd it seems to be right for me. Did you say if your husband has had any tests done i think you did ? Mine has heen doing running and hes cut back on alcohol to 2 days a week x