Recent MC - New cycles & trying again

@No1worrier I'm so sorry to hear what you have been through its just awful. I only joined this group this week and have found it a comfort to hear other people's stories and somewhere safe to talk that won't make anyone feel awkward.

Personally for me I wanted to try straight away. I found out at a 10 week scan that it had stopped growing at 7 weeks in the end needing an MVA as my body didn't want to let go. Sometimes I feel I should have moved on from what happened now and it is easier but one of my friends just announced her pregnant with a 10 week scan and I couldn't help feeling so jealous as that's what I should have seen.

I had my period 7 weeks later and have been trying this month however I think i will ditch the opks if unsuccessful this month as we haven't enjoyed the 'timed' DTD and its just taken the fun out of it. Tbh they have stressed me out all cycle lol xx

Morning ladies

@No1worrier I am so so sorry! There are just no words. My mmc was at 9+5 and I was broken enough, I can't even begin to imagine. Please make sure you are getting lots of support, both from family and friends but also professional support. I know I struggled to deal with mine at the start, didn't cry for weeks, then had too much red wine about 6 weeks after it all happened and ugly cried for hours! We will all do our very best to support you. We have had lots of threads which I think would be good for you to look at.

As @DMT1982 this was the very first thread I set up which has lots of positive stories:

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/pregnancy/4113076-Positive-stories-after-a-MMC?pg=1

Even to this day I read it every week or so.

This was our miscarriage thread and there is a lady on there who also had a baby born sleeping at full term who you might find helpful to chat to:

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/miscarriage/4190003-Support-thread-for-those-experiencing-or-recently-experienced-a-MC-MMC-Thread-4-ALL-welcome?msgid=105657260

There are in total 5 threads we've been talking on so hopefully lots of read when you feel ready. And of course, we will all do our best to support you on here.

If you have Instagram I would suggest following @themindfulgriefcoach as she also had a little boy born sleeping.

Anything else just shout. Sending you so much love xx

Morning @No1worrier, I am so sorry for your loss of your beautiful baby girl. I hope you are getting the support you need and can recommend SANDS or SiMBA who are able to offer a lot of advice and support particularly in these very early days.
Our beautiful baby boy was born sleeping last July. We waited ttc until blood tests and PM results were back - partly because that’s what they suggested and partly because I was terrified of ever feeling this grief ever again. Once we had the all clear that everything was fine by god did I get on with it! I know all too well that feeling of desperation of wanting to be pregnant again- trying every trick in the book and old wives tail 🙈
What I’ve realised is my body needed time (probably more so did my head!). I tracked with opks etc but the first month we didn’t (December) we fell pregnant again and I think that was because I took away that stress - very sadly that pregnancy resulted in a MMC which our consultant has told us is in no way related to our stillborn son but unfortunately came down to the 25% statistic. I was so angry at my body for not even realising it had miscarried but I have come to realise my body was so determined to be pregnant that it wasn’t willing to let go (well that’s what I’ll tell myself!!) So we are back ttc again but this time I’m being so much kinder to myself- no pressure on bbt or opks, I’m back to acupuncture (which I find more so good for relaxation as well as the fertility benefits) and I’m finding ways to relax like going big walks. Fingers crossed this approach works for me! And you’ll find the best approach for you.
I recommend the worst girl gang podcast and Instagram page who discuss loss openly and honestly.
What will amaze you is the strength you possess- it may not seem like it now but one day you’ll look back and see how far you’ve come and how your beautiful baby girl will be so proud of you.
Sending so much love xxx

I know this doesn't exactly fall into the miscarriage category but struggling to find a thread that it does x

@DMT1982

We had heartbreaking news at our 20 week scan (I was 21 weeks) that our baby had abnormalities with her heart. We were sent to fetal medicine unit and they confirmed how bad it was. There was multiple defects. She was lucky to still be alive at that point and would 100% not make it to the full term. We had to make the heartbreaking decision to end our little ones pain and we will have to live with that pain in our hearts for the rest of our lives 💔. She was born on Thursday through L&D then I had to have a D&C I'm sure it is called after. We held her and cuddled her all day on Friday. Now I'm home, sore from childbirth and no baby 💔. I feel selfish for thinking of TTC again so soon but mentally I think it is the only thing that will help me.

I was only told 3 months to deal with things emotionally so not really sure about waiting physically. I will maybe call my GP on Monday and ask x

@AMS19 do you have the link to the first thread you started about positive stories please as I can’t find it xxx

@No1worrier I am so sorry for your loss. My heart aches for you. Sending you hugs...

Please ensure you take the time that you need to grieve. I hope you have a network of support around you and that your other half is looking after you during one of the most painful things in the world. I am so, so sorry.

I personally haven’t waited until my first period after my miscarriage, but I lost at 5 weeks (not so far into the pregnancy). I had a miscarriage in February and we did have sex a couple of times once my bleeding had long passed. My period is predicted today or tomorrow.

I think waiting for your af sounds like a good idea.

Sending all my love to you.

Please reach out to us on here. There is so much love, empathy and support around on mumsnet for you

Take care xx

@No1worrier I’m so so sorry that you find yourself here and I cannot begin to imagine what you’ve been through and continue to go through. Can I ask what advice the doctors gave you at the hospital about when they advised you to try again?

We have a real mix of ladies on here however we all have one thing in common that we have suffered a loss of even multiple losses in some cases.

Everyone is doing thing differently, some are waiting like me however I have other gastrointestinal issues so am having tests, others have waited for their first period and others have jumped straight back in again without waiting.

I had a missed miscarriage at 9.5 weeks in December and had a D&C procedure on the 30/12. It took around 5/6 weeks for my period to arrive and then I’ve just had my third period. I think ovulation why’s I am ovulating late but I don’t use sticks I just know my body. That’s the physical side of things but the emotional side of things is another thing entirely. That’s really taken it out of me and my husband so I think for us waiting and letting my body recover has been the best thing for us however I completely understand others who have jumped straight in and started trying sooner. A lot of ladies on here are now pregnant again and that’s amazing so we are a very lucky group.

There was an original thread started up about positive stories following a miscarriage and I’ll try and find the link for you as that really helped a lot of us when we were giving up hope.

Please feel free to post any thoughts and feelings on here as there will always be one of us who will reply xxxx sending you lots of love xxxx

@TTC94 thank you

I'm normally a very positive person so trying to cling on to the "everything happens for a reason"

I'm keeping everything crossed for you, stay hopeful!
We're not going anywhere if you join us ❤️

Life can be so incredibly cruel, we just have to keep our positive pants on and try again xxx

Hi,

I hope this thread is okay for me to be on. My baby girl was born sleeping last week at nearly 23 weeks pregnant 💔. I am grieving and finding life very difficult at the moment and the only thing that helps very slightly is concentrating on being pregnant again. I am not going to actively try until after my first AF just so I can track everything. I use opks and bbt plus use my RHR on my Fitbit. This worked for me in October when I conceived so will be doing it again.

Did everyone else wait until AF or wait longer? The thread is pretty long so I only skimmed through it quickly.

Thank you x

@Sugarskulllover

Thinking of you. Try to be optimistic, but I know it’s so difficult.

I think my period will come today or tomorrow, this will also be my first since my miscarriage in Feb. I’m not feeling hopeful myself, unfortunately.

Xx

Hi all,

Been keeping an eye on the thread but haven't posted in a while.

Keeping everything crossed for those still waiting this cycle and for those who are feeling uncertain you have been in my thoughts.

Well CD1 here, AF has arrived. This is first one since my MC end of feb. I have been tracking my cycle with Flo app, it was predicting AF around Tuesday but I wasn't sure how my cycle would be affected after my MC. Trying to stay positive but feeling a little fragile tonight.

Lots of love to you all and wishing luck to those who are on the next cycle with me ❤️

@SuzieDeLaTour oh don’t give up hope now, like the others have said maybe test with a frer xx 💋

@SuzieDeLaTour if it was a first response rapid result they are def not very sensitive! It also says you should only use from the day of your missed period so not surprising it's a BFN. I reckon buy a FRER

@SuzieDeLaTour ah but lovely, if they are 100mlU like someone said they were you've got no chance at 10dpo!! Do you have prime so you can get some other sensitive ones, such a wondfo that Laura rayed very highly? I honestly don't think you're at all out given the sensitivity! Xx

@cupcakesandglitter sorry mine were Ovaview OPKs - I bought a batch a while ago but I won’t be buying them again xx

@gizmo167 good luck with the testing tomorrow - everything crossed for you! X

@glowingtwig oh that’s great news about your progesterone too - all sounds like it’s going in the right direction! 🤞your comment about your zapping nips made me giggle!
So I caved and tested with my wannabe-FRER and it was negative 😒 (roughly 10DPO) just feeling a bit rubbish about it all now, I was so hoping this month would be the one and now I’m worried that I might have another long stretch of trying in front of me.
@PlantMummy87 oh love hopefully it’s just a bit of normal bleeding - keeping everything crossed for you.
@cupcakesandglitter are those the one step opks? They look identical to the ones I use and to be honest I don’t rate them that highly. I recently bought the easy @home strips because I downloaded the Premom app and they were listed on there and I’ve actually found them much better - a much stronger colour so you definitely know when it’s a positive or not and you can enter the tests into the app and they rate whether they’re “high” or “low” which is quite useful (although my readings jumped about a bit at first which drove me mad ha ha) x

@PlantMummy87 I have everything crossed for you, sending sticky bean vibes x

@gizmo167 oh wow hun, is this your first cycle post MC? Sorry I haven’t caught up on all the thread xx

So great to see all those bfps coming along nicely, will catch up properly tomorrow

Going to test tomorrow, cd35 so longest in 8 years! Know it wont be positive but least I'll know my body really is messed up after the 2nd mc

Crossing everything for @glowingtwig and @PlantMummy87 xxx

@cupcakesandglitter I'm clearly not best person to answer because opks are driving me doolally but mine show faint line as early as that. My mc was recent but still a couple of months ago.

@klm018 I'm flashing too but last time I did it never went solid and turned out it was prob measuring oestrogen pre AF gaaaah. I'm currently CD 10. So would be pretty rarly to be high fertility - blardy things driving me crazy! Particularly because dh is away and not around until Wednesday...

My understanding though is that is supposed to be just a few days before solid.

Hi ladies, I'm more of a lurker but following all the chat. I've just got my flashing smiley face on the clear blue ovulation test. Glad that my body seems to be back into a rhythm after the miscarriage. I've never tested ovulation before so not sure how like it will take to get the static smiley face. It's just nice to poas and get a result you want to see.

@glowingtwig keeping everything crossed for you - book one for whenever you're ready and you feel like you'd be a bit more at ease afterwards x

@PlantMummy87 keeping everything crossed for you xx

Ladies I've got a Q... I've bought OPKs for this cycle - this is one I've just done. Usually I ovulate between CD20-30ish, but today I'm CD6? Yesterday's one was fainter but still quite stark - whenever I used to do them, I'd barely get a second line! Wondering if I need to do HPT? But when EPU called me they confirmed my HCG was at 4 so I don't see how I could have any of the hormone left? And my heart rate hasn't dropped much either.... very confused 😓

@plantmummy87 keeping everything crossed for you xx

Thanks for all the kind support. Sorry I will reply properly to the messages, just needing to take a bit of time to feel all the emotions that are swimming around in my head right now.

My partner convinced me to do a digital this afternoon and it came back positive, I definitely needed to see the words to believe it.

Since taking the digital though I've had a small bit of brown spotting and the tiniest clot of fresh blood, so feeling pretty scared and not feeling convinced that this is going to be a sticky baby. Just ordered some more FRERs to be able to do a bit of a check every few days if AF doesn't come... AF is due between around Wednesday so really hoping she doesn't come, but we'll see xx