Recent MC - New cycles & trying again

I think I first had a definite faint positive at 9dpo,darker again at 10dpo, brown spotted that evening, period came on 11dpo which is normal for me, used two pads throughout the day... 12dpo had a pad on but only pink spotting when I wiped and I took it off at night with basically nothing on it, 13dpo...today...still wiping pink but barely there... I only have these three tests as launched the lot of deleted the pics.. Can't remember when I took the first one but I the other two are 12 and 13dpo!

Surely I can't still be pregnant... I don't feel it... Im still a bit crampy but assumed that was just my period... 🙈🤔🤷🏼‍♀️🤷🏼‍♀️

I will test again tomorrow and see, I really can't see me still being pregnant but stranger things have happened I suppose!

Also another thing could it be ectopic? Jesus more stress! 😂

Oh mannn @Pettylamby what dpo did you first test positive and what dpo are you now?

@Pettylamby what a mind fuck indeed! The fact it's getting darker is very strange. But agree, don't get carried away and keep testing daily. If it goes darker again over the next day or two would suggest asking your GP for bloods

@AMS19 I'm still not convinced! Don't wanna be graphic but this wasn't just like a bit of spotting, it was a period flow like sitting on the toilet and it's coming out! But to be fair it only lasted a day and a bit! But it filled a pad! 🤔 And it was exactly when my period was due! I suppose there's nothing else to do but keep testing... What a mind fuck!

@Pettylamby

Oh wow @Pettylamby yes. I didnt want to say this as I was conscious of getting your hopes up but I was wondering if it was jsut implantation. A lot of ladies I spoke to with my previous pregnancy had had bleeding very much like a period but still been pregnant...

Ladies...

I'm confused...

Does this look to anyone else like the test got darker 🤔🤔

Oh @AMS19and @Mellous I feel exactly the same. I think that's the reason why I've been so obsessed with trying to do everything I can to get myself as 'healthy' as possible as I know I can control that to some extent, but feel like when I finally get my BFP my body will fail me again.

It's so heartbreaking, but you put it so beautifully before that when you do get your BFP breaking it down into milestones can help you get through day, week, month etc., and we'll all be here to support each other through those tough days xx

@Mellous I'm the same as you 9dpo when will you test?

Thanks @DMT1982 my anxiety has been really really bad today so I've decided I need to stop using Google and buying things because I'm driving myself crazy and not healthy. Today is probably the most anxious I've felt since the miscarriage, to the point I'm getting chest pains! I really really need to stop focusing on TTC now and manage my anxiety better I think xx

@AMS19 I never replied to you yesterday about the supplements. I’ve just spent around gulp £170 on 3 months worth which are mainly Zita West but then bought some others from Amazon. I’ll send you a photo of the haul once they arrive. The DHE omega and zinc I think it is, both my hubby and I have been taking that but we are a lot older than you so I wouldn’t worry it does say on her website it’s for 35 plus and I’m 38 and he’s 40 xx

@Mellous fingers crossed for you,I'm not testing till Saturday,I'll be 12dpo. I was going to wait till Monday if AF didnt come but I've plans made for Mothers day with my Mam so I need to know 😁😁😁

@mellous I have absolutely everything crossed for you!!!

@AMS19 you’re not alone. I’m filled with all kinds of emotions about tying again. Mainly because I feel like I’ve come so far since December and wanted to leave all the heartache and trauma in 2020 so I feel like by trying again I’m opening myself up to going back to that dark place if it happens again.

I think it’s only natural to be filled with mixed emotions after what we’ve all been through and not putting too much pressure on ourselves to be jumping to joy because we will undoubtedly be filled with more anxiety than joy until we have that baby in our arms xxxx

Am I the only one who is nothing but terrified of testing? The idea of a BFP brings nothing but fear to me. I honestly don't think I would feel any happiness or hope, just fear and anxiety about "when" the next miscarriage will happen this time. I'm trying to get pregnant, but I'm not sure mentally I'm ready at all...

@AMS19 ha!!! Men probably NEVER think like this!! 🤣
@Mellous oh exciting!! Fingers and toes crossed for you. I’ll likely be testing start of week after next - if AF doesn’t get me first! X

@dippyegg32 oh wow! My tesco definitely doesn't have that! They have pomegranate juice but not 100% annoyingly! Winning there

@SuzieDeLaTour I feel you. When my temp went up for a 3rd time today I was so relieved I don't have it to it again for a while 😂

@Mellous so exciting!! Got everything crossed for you!!

@AMS19 I’m so knackered today I don’t know if I’ve got the energy to go again! 🤣🤣 I don’t track my temps but I think this might prompt me to do so next month. Nope definitely not pregnant! 😀 xx

It's 90p for a litre at Tesco!!

I do the same with POM. Buy 700ml which is £3.90 and have it over 3 days 😊

That meant to say every day