TTC baby number 1 - late period negative test

@A1b2c3d4e5f6g7 thanks I'll need to think about what I want to do.

I'm 28 so I'm still hopeful or maybe in denial that it will happen naturally when the time is right but after 4 losses my perception of when enough should be enough is a bit skewed. Probably more so because there is so little information about early losses. Are they different to later losses, are they more common and just not spoken about, I don't know. That's a good tip so I'll keep that in mind if we choose to go that way. I hope things work out for you before then x

@choccrumpet I really don't know, I wonder if you're better off setting up a thread asking about this specific thing to get advice from people who have been through it before. Otherwise a private GP might be willing to prescribe it or be more helpful, or a private fertility doctor.

I am actually saving to go private if nothing happens for me in the next month or two, just to get some investigations as I'm over 35. If you are planning this also, it may be worth getting a copy of your medical tests and notes and scans etc, so you can show the doctor and not have to pay to get the scans redone

@A1b2c3d4e5f6g7 yes that is a positive. I took baby aspirin this cycle and that may be what has helped me get a week past when my period was due (don't know if that's a good or bad thing). I'll probably try it again next cycle. My doctor can't prescribe progesterone so I don't know what to do there, I'm waiting for a fertility referral but that may take months still. Does the EPU prescribe anything like that?

Otherwise I'm a bit stuck with what I have and can just keep trying. I wish there was more research done about this. It's shocking that there isn't more information or help out there about early losses.

@choccrumpet it’s a huge disappointment of course you’re devastated.
Please don’t think this won’t ever happen for you though. On the positives, you get pregnant quickly and often, and there must be something they can do after the tests like progesterone suppositories or baby aspirin etc which will work for you.
I get the panic that it won’t even happen though, because I feel like that also sometimes. It’s hard to put another positive spin on things for yourself after feeling let down and low

@surreychick good luck for tomorrow x
Also you’ve IVF coming up! I know it’s so tough and not how we imagined it being, but look at all of the IVF success stories. I see them with a couple of friends who have their IVF babies also.
You never know what tomorrow’s test will be either. My fingers are crossed for you x

@surreychick can you insist on getting a blood test (if that's what you want)? I've had to be quite persistent at times to get something done. I'm sorry yours isn't being great. I hope things work out for you. Keep us updated if you can.

@A1b2c3d4e5f6g7 it's been lovely talking with you and the others here as well. This helps feel less lonely during this journey. I'll try to keep you updated if there's any updates, same with you.

I'm pretty devastated. Not feeling a lot at the moment. Just doesn't feel like it'll ever happen for us. Hard to imagine that it will.

@A1b2c3d4e5f6g7 thank you - they have booked in for a blood test for tomorrow but I don’t hold out much hope. Just so sick of this. My gut is telling me I’ll never be pregnant.

Surrey I just read your latest update. Hopefully the Dr will check why you’re late, esp before you do ivf. I was 3 weeks late once years ago, and the Dr did a HCG and told me to act as if I was pregnant, as pregnancy is possible. I wasn’t, but she said it does happen that the urine tests don’t show for some people

Surrey and Choc I’m so sorry. Hope you’re both okay x

Choc another loss, I’m gutted for you. Good luck on the tests you have coming up. If you feel up to it, please keep me posted on how you go. It’s been lovely talking to you on this and other threads xx

@choccrumpet I’m so sorry - it’s so unfair. Take care of yourself this week. Lots of whatever you fancy.

Just heard from the dr - ever the sensitive - an email saying - if pregnancy tests are negative, you are not pregnant.

@surreychick I'm sorry that must be heartbreaking

I started bleeding during the night with really bad cramps. It's still slow but I'm pretty sure this will be my 4th early loss

Negative test for me this morning so I’m pretty sure now that I’m just not going to get AF. Really strange but just don’t see it happening.

IVF here we come... this was our last month of trying before we hit the button

Well I’ll def try it for my next cycle too, something else for me to obsess over.... I’ll try and keep track, it’s interesting to see. Yours is the best one as you’ve something to compare it to!

The best way I could describe it is squidgy and soft, similar to lips. I can reach mine but it's quite high up. Tbh I've never felt it when it was lower so can't compare it to that so it's my best guess that it's high and soft! @A1b2c3d4e5f6g7 your comment gave me a giggle!

@A1b2c3d4e5f6g7 @surreychick Try it again tomorrow and see if the position has changed / is the same. Mine hasn't budget since before my period so fingers crossed it stays like that. It will help you get more familiar with it!

Fingers crossed for us all!

it must seem mad to them!! TBF I never thought I’d be seeing how far I could insert my fingers to check cervix and inspecting all sorts of secretions and cm 🤢

I think if I wet upstairs just now to check my husband would roll his eyes!!

@surreychick thanks for the info. I had to put my middle finger all the way in to reach. Just read some other articles and it wasn’t hard like a grapefruit, so maybe medium soft. I don’t have a baseline tho but it’s interesting.

Fingers crossed for us 3

@A1b2c3d4e5f6g7 I could feel mine but apparently there’s a knuckle test - first knuckle low, second knuckle medium to high and can’t touch is high. The thing that made me hopeful is that it was soft like my lips rather than my nose!

@surreychick I just tried to feel my cervix (1st time ever so I’m not sure what I’m feeling for also) and I think it sounds like yours maybe? I could reach it, and it was relatively soft, and closed I think. But I’ve no idea! The verywell guide said feels like lips for soft, and nose for hard, and mine probably felt like something in the middle.

@choccrumpet is the cervix kind of on the front side of the vagina (tummy facing side), quite high up? In case I was feeling the wrong thing!

@surreychick that’s good in that case, it was a pain to have to keep calling GP surgery, wait for GP referral, then wait for EPU appointment later that day

[quote A1b2c3d4e5f6g7]@surreychick early preg units are GP referral I think, for suspected problems etc. I only ever got to go when my GP set it up for me after pain / bleeding[/quote]
The one near me is walk in

@choccrumpet I understand you want to be cautious - I’d be the same. I’ve never quite believed I may be pregnant this time. I don’t think you do if you’ve had losses.

I had a feel last night and it was soft but I’ve never felt it before so no idea what I’m really feeling for. It was also low as I could feel it quite easily but again, not really sure what I’m looking for!!!

@surreychick @A1b2c3d4e5f6g7 thank you both! Still in denial until I see a more certain line. I'll try again in the morning but am quite nervous I'll see no progress. I've been here before with chemicals (although have never missed my period) and have never seen a bold line so am nervous about it happening again.

This might be a bit personal but have either of you checked where your cervix is? After ovulation if you conceive apparently the cervix stays high, soft to touch and closed. I have been checking mine and I can barely feel it, it's like it's melted into my uterus. And that is apparently a sign of pregnancy. And if you're not pregnant and are gearing up for a period then it would be lower, hard and open. Might be worth trying if you're comfortable?

@Gspps thank you thats a good point, I’ll start counting my fertile window again for this month as if I’d had a period

@choccrumpet I’m cautiously so excited for you! Keep us updated!

@surreychick early preg units are GP referral I think, for suspected problems etc. I only ever got to go when my GP set it up for me after pain / bleeding