The Good Husband of TTC Drive (No1 Babies Detective Agency pt5)

Ready & MT- thanks don't feel so bad now . I totally agree Ready, ttc time should be spread between everyone. Was speaking to a lady today who confided that she was unable to have kids and therefore decided to concentrated on her career. She was a midwife so that must have been so tough!!!

I have a house that hasn't been decorated for years so no kids rooms or anything, which is lucky as I don't think I would be good with reminders, but thats just me. I think animal theme is really cute and probably good bet if you didn't know the sex.

MT - good news about the school, is it still really difficult with things like that?? Can't believe they didn't ask how you were at work that is so mean !!!

I met up with another friend with baby today at lunchtime - I think I only know a few who aren't PG or just been. She was doing really well, came away really pleased for her but alittle sad for me. Think I need to expand my friends although I seem to be going around with younger and younger people as it seems everyone my age is at it!

So pleased it's the weekend hope you all have fun

Nomore, I totally understand, I would want umm and aah about what to do. On the one hand it does seem wasteful to change the décor if it is what you would have ? but on the other hand, maybe just removing the border could clinch it ? you know, the minute you take a step in another direction, life smacks you on the bum? without a complete overhaul of the room??

MT congrats for DS getting into the school you wanted

Poppy don't feel bad - been in the same boat. When I had my mc followed by the mp - which meant 6 months off work, going in on a Friday to cope with email - 1 - 1.5hrs every 2 weeks was all I could cope with - only 1 person out of a firm of 45 asked me how I was or how I was coping (and this was a young man - I at least thought that some of my female colleagues would have said something). I then had to cope with a colleage getting pregnant and complaining about how awful she felt etc etc.

Re the nursery - ours never was a 'nursery' - and most of our house is relatively muted (with occasional 'accents, such as the coral sofa that I'm siting on at the moment) - but we wanted our baby's room to be lovely and bright. Again, no specific 'theme' in terms of matching things bought at a shop - but there is quite an animal theme going on, and the good thing is that we can gradually change certain elements so that it grows with him - and the curtains (that I made ) will be fine for quite a long time. Mind you, if we are sucessful, we might move him into the other small bedroom (which would need changing from 'pink') as that room could take one of those 'bunks' with a desk underneath which I think would be good for him in time.

Good news - he got into the school that we wanted him to get into.

I have thought about the babies nursery, for a long time - I don't want a theme or anything, so it really wouldn't matter wether we had a boy or a girl... I want white or soft-linen on the walls - and lots of earthy colours in the accessories. I imagine it to be a restful place

Poppy, don?t be so hard on yourself ? you are not making a big deal out of it, at all. My oldest friend sounds very much like your BF ? I am the same as you, I try not to talk about it too much in RL, but there are a few people that I have confided in ? and it is amazing how different people can be. I really do think that if you have never struggled to conceive, then you just won?t ever understand how someone feels when they are struggling. One of my friends, finally conceived with IUI, and she is so caring and understanding ? and yet my oldest friend conceived 2nd month, and acts like she knows it all. So I feel for you with this.
If only everyone took the same amount of time to conceive, you know, to balance it out ? wouldn?t that be wonderful.
Your friend has no idea ? and while that isn?t her fault, she has been lucky ? that?s no excuse for being so insensitive. BUT? you have to rise above it. You have enough on your plate, without a friend adding to your worries. I always think that at least I know how to treat people... give yourself a big gold star, you are far superior
I really hope that you don?t need to reschedule your HSG ? but if you do, sounds like you have got plenty to look forward to. Very ? I have never been to NY, and would love to!!

MT - the doctors sounded rubbish, if it happens again you will have to say that your lips are tingling that will move things along as they will think that you are going to stop breathing!!! Did you ever have that reaction before??? How scarey for you hope you feel better and had a good rest today.

After commenting on positiveness earlier in today Ihave just spoken to my BF who has baby. Told her about the nasty tests etc that are coming up. I'm sure she thinks I'm stressing too much over ttc, however she fell pregnant after two months and no problems. She told me it was 'normal to try for two years' I said I understood that but it is so hard when 4/5 of your close friends are PG or just had babbies and I am the only one who had mc. Ijust thought it was really sad that she didn't say 'it must be really hard for you and I wouldn't want to go through all that' etc... I was really lucky

It is a real contrast to another friend who's sister had IVF she is so considerate and after my MC she asked if I wanted to meet up however she said she'd understand if I didn't want to be around PG people (she was 6 months at the time). She is so sweet and asks how everything is going.

I wonder if they think I am making a big deal out of it. I try not to talk about it in RL with everyone as it does get boring for them, that's why MN is so good .

I feel like a bad person when I think that everyone should go through at least 6/12's ttc to understand. Am I being bad???

Hi Ready - yes, I'm OK. Dh has taken day off - to sleep this morning to catch on what he lost last night, and to take care of ds this afternoon as I'm not feeling like it. Just have sore puffy eyes and feeling a bit cold and wiped out today.

Re clothes and room - I got curtain material very early on - blue with appliqued animals on, sort of denim blue. Lovely sunny yellow walls. Clothes - yellow/turquoise and white. No problems!

I have to say, I don?t think that not knowing the gender beforehand would really make that much different to bonding with the baby. Or is this something that is widely considered? I hadn?t even thought about finding out for that reason. I just assumed people found out so they could plan clothes and rooms etc.
For me, I definitely don?t want to find out ? and I am a control freak too Perhaps I am just a quirky control freak

Poppy, I am thinking about the Zita West vitamins, but Lottie mentioned on another thread (I think) to check what is in them and perhaps source them yourself, as it will work out cheaper? so I will look into that too, before I make any decisions.
Good luck with the B6 for your LP - are you temping?

MT the cheek of that consultant?s comment!! Now, ok, it is not the worst procedure in the world ? but come on!! Have some common sense. Tut.
Double shock for you ending up in A&E, and the daft way they handled you ? idiots. Hope you are feeling ok now? Can you take aspirin for pain? Or is that not good with ttc?

Hobnobs , pmsl that you sat in the car, like me, Fingers crossed for good results Ooh, if it was me ? I am glad you like LizEarle C&P ? I wouldn?t be without it ? I too have noticed it more and more in magazines, and I always feel a little aggrieved that my little secret has become so well known. But it is good for the company, so I should be happy ? they will be able to afford to make lots of new products to coo over

Gilly, hope that your appointment went well yesterday, what?s next?
How funny that we both joined MN at the same time and because of the same reason

Big wave to everyone else Must dash

It's interesting that several people have mentioned that they feel it would be easier to bond if they knew the sex previously - something that never occured to me - obviously have a different mind set in those terms!

Guess were I spent yesterday evening? That's right - A&E... Took 2 paracetamols because the blood test bruise I had from last Thursday's visit started to ache during the day - within 5 mins hands were itching and got nettle rash within 10mins. The silly thing was that when I got to the A&E reception and said I had anaphalctic shock the receptionist asked the 'nurse practitioner' to see me sooner rather than later - but, after asking if I was having problems breathing (no) he said he'd see me later. I was actually having to take my shoes and socks off to scratch my feet and the receptionist was trying to chase the np again - but then when my lips started swelling up I got moved and got seen. The silly thing was that if I'd been seen when I initially went in and been given something I would not have ended up taking up a bed and time etc...

Rang the doctor this morning to see if I could get refered for testing to see exactly what it is - Doctor said just stay clear of paracetamol and use ibuprofen instead. I said, what happens if I do get pregnant and need some painkillers, take codine and it has this effect on me again - and what happens if it is also the ibuprofen - I don't want to keep on ending up at A&E every time - Doctor hmmd and said that I had a point (!) (this being the same Doctor that referred me to the recurrant mc unit) (mind you, you don't notice what ever it was that you originally took the painkiller for when the nettlerash starts kicking in!).

Last bit doesn't really make sense but it was in reply to finding out the baby's sex!

Hello guys,only got a few minutes so will be a short note.#

Hobnobs - DH was the same he took loads of convincing and was most upset when I mentioned to a friend that he was going to have to do the test, however when the results came back and they were above average he didn't care who knew. One of those man things I think.

Don't think AF is going to come early this month and therefore think I'll have to cancel HSG for next friday!

As the doctor is away the following friday I'll have to wait another month, which is alittle disappointing really. I have however booked a trip to New York for April so at least this means I won't be going mad at ttc so will still be able to do lots of shopping.

Had lovely day out in the sunshine so still feel good today!

I think I'd wait for the surprise, I don't usually like to plan things - this is why ttc is totally different to my normal life. It's turned me into more of a control freak I think!!

Seems a bit quiet here, doesn't it. Well, did the hospital run for DH's semen analysis yesterday (sat there in the car, drumming my fingers, thinking of some of you!) Poor thing was a bit stressed about it - I don't think he slept very well and commented that he usually produces his best work under pressure but not in this situation - he thinks he may need to redo it if there's not enough volume (sorry if tmi!) although as I pointed out, that shouldn't stop them testing for the quality.

In answer to Nomore's question, think I found Mumsnet when I googled something TTC-related last year though I'd vaguely heard of it. I waded through a lot of the TTC threads absorbing loads of information, not just TTC-related. Have Mumsnet to thank (possibly even Ready ) for finding Liz Earle Cleanse and Polish, though now I seem to come across in in every magazine I pick up.

Working (other work) late last night - very difficult evening in terms of noise and smoke, and eyes suffering this morning as a consequence.

I think I found out about MN when reading the 'what to expect from your child at 1' or similar, but I can't really remember. Glad I found it though.

Sybil - the really interesting thing was that although I didn't know what gender and therefore what name ds would be, knew what male name, and absolutly no doubts when he turned up - I am sure that not knowing had no impact upon bonding. (Mind you, after 6 years of waiting, I don't think that anything would have stopped bonding at that stage!). And of course, he was such a solid little thing (10.5) that he was able to do quite a bit from the start (really good at bf - 20min feed within 2 hrs) (including lifting his head off my shoulder and whaming it down again ) and his name really suited him (still does)(very traditional).

Poppy/Ready - re HSG - consultant that did mine said - "there, that wasn't too bad was it". Frankly, I think that every consultant should be told not to make comments like that about anything that they have not experienced first hand themselves (impossible in this case). Not a pleasant experience, but can think of worse!

We are currently trying to work out what the birthday party guest list is. This is complicated by ds who sometimes likes people and the next day says they are nasty . One of the boys from nursery that he will be going to school with next year is apparently 'scary' - don't know whether to try to work on this, particularly as this family lives not too far away from us so would be quite convenient to swap the odd favour now and again.

Hello - still trying to be good but have scoffed too many gingernuts tonight - oh well.

Mistlethrush Big hugs to you - I try to stay away from the positive threads - especially the BFP don't know what to do sort!!!

Sybilvimes glad the birth was ok, god if it's this problematic getting pregnant can't imagine how birth etc will be!!!

Nomore I found MN after my mc - was really down and no-one could give me any info. As I am diabetic the midwife was calling me nearly every week it seemed and I had so many appointments. Yet when I had my ERPC no-one even cared and I was just left feeling so empty. MN was such a relief and I got such good advice. One of my friends said not to look on internet as it can scare you- but I'm glad I did.

Going to have acupuncture again tomorrow.

Have realised I have a short LPhase so have also started popping the B6 to sort it out. Does anyone take any special vits ie Zita West etc????

Re finding out gender, it's a personal thing. I am the world's worst control freak, I want to know so that I can have the nursery/clothes/names etc sorted before the birth. And, I do think that it makes it easier to bond with the baby when you know what it is and what it is going be called.

I didn't find out with dc2 as she was shy at the scan and I hated not knowing. I cried after the scan and tried to persuade dh to pay for sexing scan but he refused. Then when she was born she had the cord wrapped twice around her neck and wasn't breathing and it was really tense and horrible for a while so nobody cared what sex she was.

Hobnobs, thanks chick! I didn?t have a lazy day (Sunday) mind you, dh took me out for the day, twas lovely ? I know what you mean about the chocolate, I have stopped buying it, because if it is in the house then we just pig out. and I am trying to be healthy at the moment.

MT, sounds like the birthday plans are coming along nicely

Nomore, I don?t really feel much older, do you?? How?s it going?

Poppy, here,here, pmsl at your ?smug just have to look at him? comment ? that is exactly how I am feeling at the minute. I am loving your relaxed attitude about it all, I really am!! Fingers crossed that you get to have your HSG as planned. I was terrified about mine, but it really isn?t too bad ? it?s just undignified and uncomfortable ? but about par for the course really

Toomuch, fingers crossed for a sticky one, indeed

Big wave to all you other lovely ladies

For me? I would not want to know the gender before birth, I want it to be a surprise. And so does dh (which is lucky). I think if we are ever lucky enough to fall pregnant (fingers crossed) then we will get a couple of names for both.

In response to nomore?s question? I read about MN in The Times. A parenting book author, gina ford, had started legal action against MN, not really sure if it is allowed to be discussed on these forums, but anyway, I thought it was all a bit silly, so decided to come and see what the site was like as I had just started trying and was eager for information ? found the conception boards and never looked back

Belated P.S. Ready Happy Birthday for last weekend (When was it, Sunday?) Hope you had a lovely lazy day and a glass of wine to to celebrate!

I was really pleased that I hadn't found out the sex before. Before I got pregnant I wanted a girl (probably because I've always had a really good relationship with my mother - and her mother), but during didn't really mind and towards the end was leaning towards a boy as being best as we already had 2 nieces. It was lovely having a name sorted though, as was able to say 'hello x' to him immediately (or immediately as it gets when you end up having an emergency cx).

If (when?) I have a second, I still wouldn't want to know. I'd quite like a girl as that would be one of each - but I'd quite like a boy so that they can have a bit more rough and tumble together (and we wouldn't have to get any new clothes and very few new toys!)

Having the clothes all in bags does rather depress me - don't want to get rid of them as it would be a waste if we have another, but having them sitting there in the corner of the spare room is a bit like having a sulky monster sitting there and being grumpy (iykwim)

Never mind! Gearing up for a 3rd bday party (not until April!) - have negotiated the cake and the fact that it could really be any colour and doesn't have to be a red dragon - and that his best friend has to come. He can't seem to tell me which other children he wants to invite though!

nomore - I have always found out the sexes of the babies. this time i said to DH lets not, but he wanted to just incase he was having a daughter.

This is the only baby that has been named before birth though - with Reilly i had a choice of 2 first names & Scott, his middle name ws ready. He may have been Tyler, im so pleased he is Reilly now though

With Jamie; he was either going to be Jamie Levi, Levi James or Koby James. Jamie Levi it was, i knew as soon as i lloked at him that he was iyswim?

Millie's name is from my outlaws - MIL just started calling her that and it has stuck and i like nothing better; apart from maybe Lacey. I can't call her anything else now - she is Millie iyswim? Her name is Millie Grace Jessamy surname. (begins with C)So thats sorted now too!

I am 31+4 today - had last baby at 39+4...so culd be just 8 weeks now, maybe less, maybe more!

Fingers still crossed for you, TooMuch for the next few weeks but it sounds like it's all going ok. It's good to know that your military-style planning paid off - I tried (honest!) to be relaxed about it for the first few months and sometimes I'd find that we'd only bd'ed once or twice around the middle of my cycle which didn't make me feel we were giving it our best try. DH has booked his semen analysis appointment - hooray - and fortunately he managed to get a cancellation so shouldn't have too wait too long.

Ready I don't need much encouragement to eat chocolate though trying to be a bit more restrained - wouldn't mind losing a few pounds but it's not happening very easily (need more effort, I suppose!)

Hello Poppy. Would be interested in hearing how your acupuncture goes - has anyone else tried this? (Have never tried it but seem to be more desperate open to new experiences at the moment!)

Mistlethrush Hope you feel more positive soon

Hi Poppy - hope that the good resolutions work for you! Just noticed a post from you elsewhere - had been wondering where you'd got to. I can't decide whether to be a bit more positive or not. Reading some of the other threads just makes me cry at the moment.

Just popped in and wanted to say CONGRATS to toomuch. Don't worry we don't mind when one of us becomes pregnant, it's just the smug I just have to look at him and its positive!!!

How lovely - what a fantastic Christmas present!!!

I'm in a much more positive frame of mind this week, have been really good i.e. minimal alcohol and no caffiene for two weeks now. Called the hospital and pre-booked my HSG now just have to hope my AF comes early otherwise will have to cancel it. The doctor is away on holiday the following week and so I'll have to wait for next month. Not a major problem, but now things are moving along I'm getting alittle excited!!

I have conned a friend who does acupuncture to try it on me as well so I will give this ttc a real shot in the next three months. If nothing still doesn't happen I am going on the biggest drinking/fun/bad for ttc spree ever!!!!