Feb Bus 2021 - no more TRYING to conceive, let's blimin do this!

@MiniBaker thank you so much for your response. That’s definitely made me feel like I’m not alone in this! Great advice too! Thank you ♥️

@Miche243 sorry to hear you are having a tough time. I have used the clear blue sticks and had mixed results myself - going straight from blank to flashing face some months and then some months have several days of static face then finally flashing face. All I can say is that I don’t think that it is an exact science and our bodies don’t always act just like the packets say. Advice from Drs I’ve had had always been just stick to DTD every 2-3 days and you should be covered. Good luck in your journey! Xx

Anyone? 😳🙃

Hi everyone, new here and would really appreciate some advice please. Been actively trying to conceive since a missed miscarriage in June. I’m 43 and unfortunately had covid in august also so my periods have been really irregular. 43 days to 52 days to 25 days! I’ve been doing regular acupuncture and also the clear blue sticks. This month I tested day 10 and got a static face, so we dtd that day along with a dose of acupuncture. The next day it was blank and then today flashing? Has anyone experienced this? My temperature was 36.01 static and today 36.4 - sorry for the long message! it’s been a stressful few months! Any help or advice would be much appreciated! Thanks

@sunshineandshowers3
I’ve just sent you a private message 😊

@MiniBaker My heart goes out to you and it’s cliched ,but we really do know exactly how the other is feeling. AF just hits like a tonne of bricks every single month, doesn’t it? Another month of optimism being dashed and trying to just tell yourself ‘it might be the next cycle’. Please say you’ve allowed yourself time to feel this way and you’ve not been too hard on yourself.

I am due AF on Monday and have lots of symptoms so assume she’ll be rearing her ugly head as per usual. DP had his second SA this month so we had to abstain from sex during ovulation time. If anything happens this month it’ll be a bloomin’ miracle! He’s due his results in the next few days. Last time they showed low motility, so hopefully this has improved. He’s of the mind frame that if there is a problem we’ll try and go down the IVF route as soon as is practically possible.

I feel so defeated and like I’ll never carry my own baby and I just can’t seem to shake that feeling!

How is your husband feeling about it all? Sending all the love and strength I can ❤️Xxx

@sunshineandshowers3
Hope you are doing okay and your cycle is going well. My period just arrived and I just burst in to tears. Tried to be so positive the last few months and just feel so helpless like there is nothing I can do.

Trying to focus on the positives and that I don’t know what the future has in store but struggling today xx

@sunshineandshowers3 completely feel for you when AF arrives. It’s really gutting. I wouldn’t rule yourself out to IVF just yet - when I went to the private clinic they said it can take up to 2 years (which I know seems forever) but you’ve had the checks and they will probably just say it can take up to 2 years. Hope the SA comes back positive.

You’ve got youth completely on your side and although (like me) you want it to happen right now - it’s not always one of those things.. so many people try for a long time and then it just happens naturally.

I’ve tried to just take more of a back seat and not worry about it happening for the rest of this year and then start looking in to IVF and it’s made me feel loads more relaxed. It will make you feel so much better if you make plans and try to just put it on the back burner for a bit xx

@MiniBaker Hope you’re well and doing okay. AF hit me like a tonne of bricks again yesterday. Feeling very deflated by it all and the pressure of it not happening every month. DP has got another SA booked in at the start of July so hoping that offers up some answers. I feel resigned to having to try and go through IVF, but DP is still very optimistic and says it’s too soon to say. I know deep down he’s probably right and I’m jumping the gun a little, but after 13 unsuccessful months it almost seems I feasible that it will ‘just happen’.

Anyway hope you’re well ❤️Xx

@PeanuttyButter I am so very sorry to hear this. What awful news. Sending so much love to both you and your DH. It’s bizarre that on mumsnet where we are essentially strangers, you genuinely feel for each and every person you talk to. Take care ❤️xx

Bad news at the scan. Supposed to be 9+3 but was only measuring 6...no heartbeat either. I'm devastated as is my DH. Had no spotting since before my period was initially due. Had pregnancy symptoms and everything seemed fine. I really do wish you all good luck on your pregnancy journeys guys xx

@MiniBaker Sorry for the super late reply - busy family weekend and then the craziness of the last week of term have been keeping me somewhat busy! Sorry to hear yours arrived again...mine showed up today too 🙁. Yeah I liken the 12 month feeling like I’ve become part of a club that I never wanted to be a member of.

It’s so hard when you’re working closely with someone who is pregnant - really feel for you ❤️.

I do know what you mean - it’s just so hard to relinquish control. To a certain extent you can have control over meeting someone/career path but with fertility I just feel hopeless, lost, and unwomanly (if that’s a word!).

The positivity in your message is fantastic and I whole heartedly agree with you- just having one of those really down days! Wish we had a crystal ball and could know when it will happen!

How’s this month going for you? Sending lots of love your way ❤️❤️❤️Xxx

@sunshineandshowers3 sorry for going quiet before! I was really down at the weekend as AF arrived for me early 😔 and with it hitting the 12 month mark it just really upset me.

I’m with you on the pregnancy announcements it is so hard hearing it as it just rubs salt in the wound every time! I’m now working alongside someone who is pregnant and about to drop so it’s constant pregnancy / baby chat all day so feeling like this past month I’ve become more numb to it.

I don’t know about you but I feel like it probably hasn’t been the right time for me for the past year and I really haven’t felt myself in my heart of hearts - I think that it will happen when the time is right for us both. Lots of things just seem to work out when you didn’t expect them to or they surprise you. I know for a fact meeting my husband was something that I never expected to happen and wasn’t something I could have ever predicted, my career has taken some unusual turns that have always surprised me but end up working out for the best and the same about our wedding this year, it really was a huge stress factor for me - so being able to have a small one this year really was a blessing in disguise.

Sometimes situations hurt you, people you meet test you and sometimes wonderful things happen that you couldn’t have possibly planned for or predicted and I’m convinced that pregnancy is one of those things.

My mum is a nurse and she has recently been on some contraception training which talked about fertility and she was saying that it’s so linked with your brain and if it’s not in the right space your hormones aren’t right. I know everyone says it and it is so frustrating to hear “relax” but it may be worth thinking about wonderful things in your life that happened that you weren’t expecting and didn’t plan for. It’s not ‘giving up’ but I definitely think for me it’s time to stop ‘trying’ so hard, ditch the OPKs, stop tracking and focussing on it so much and just have faith that it will happen when the time is right.

Xx

@MiniBaker Hope you’re well? Having a very down day today and I’m not sure why. AF is still a week away and just feeling glum like I know this month won’t be the one either. It sounds silly but I even get disheartened by celebrity announcements now. Princess Beatrice is pregnant and she was married in July last year....I think I’ve become a little deranged and need help! 🙈🙈

It really would be 🤞just the most amazing news!

We’ve spread it out a bit more this month too. DTD on Friday and yesterday and will either today or tomorrow. I only have a few OPKs left so didn’t want to waste them so only started testing today and it was a blank circle so not sure whether I ovulated quite early for me, or whether it’s still to come 🤔. Used pre-seed last night too as we had some left.

I normally get 2/3 days of flashing and then static. Never gone from a plain circle to a static.

Umm a little more relaxed I guess. I feel the anticipation, excitement and hope has gone a little from me now. I know that sounds terrible but whereas once I was expecting it every month I’m not now at all.

She hasn’t even revealed the pregnancy yet and I’m getting jealous (crazy woman that I am). She might not even be pregnant, although I’d wager that she is. Seems a lot of pregnancy announcements out there at the moment with the two from Little Mix and Harry Judd’s wife Izzy.

How are you feeling this month? How many DPO? Hope you’re okay ❤️❤️Xxx

@sunshineandshowers3 that would be amazing wouldn’t it!

The acupuncture is £45 a session and I have 3 sessions leading up to ovulation.

Well I did the clear blue digital ovulation test and it was a plain circle ⭕️ and then static smiley on Monday. So I think I’m probably 1dpo today... we DTD Friday, Monday and today so spread it out a bit more than usual so wondering if that helps....

I find I often get a plain circle then static smiley on the clear blue OPKs and just skip the flashing smiley. How about you?

That’s a good sign I’m sure! Have you felt more relaxed this month? Maybe that has made a difference?

It’s horrible feeling jealous isn’t it. I don’t think it gets any easier as time goes on! But you never know how long she had been trying for, the more people I speak to about it the more you find out how many people have had long journeys or miscarriages and it’s just not as simple for so many people xx

@MiniBaker Aww I feel completely the same when you comment! There are so many parallels to our story I just hope we get those BFP’s together soon. I can tell just from your messages and the way you speak that you’d be a fantastic Mummy!

Good on you on the exercise front! 👍🏻 If you don’t mind me asking, how expensive is acupuncture? I usually try to go to the gym about 3/4 times a week so yes do a fair amount of exercise and I walk everywhere too as my DP and I share a car.

Are you close to ovulation yet? I’ve completely lost touch with days.

My period seems a little heavier this month, not much though.

Thank you - I know it’s not her fault but can’t help feeling pangs of jealousy. She’s 35 though so trying to tell myself that she’s older and we have lots of time (which we do).

I think the DTD every other day is a really good piece of advice though. Trying to stick to that as much as possible this month. I’ve also been drinking a little more this month so I’m going to try and nip that in the bud! xx

@sunshineandshowers3 urgh AF is so unwanted! Every time I see you @ me I keep hoping it will be a shock positive test 👶 I’m really hoping for you that it will be your month soon!

I know 2 years feels like wayyy long! Hopefully we don’t have to wait too much longer.

Despite what I said last time, I’ve been back to acupuncture, had two sessions last week and got one tomorrow - I spoke with the Dr about my light period again and he recommended I do 30 minutes of exercise everyday where I get my heart rate to 120-140 to help along with improving my circulation. This is quite hard for me as I haven’t exercised like that for about 4 years 😂 I just usually go for long walks each day but he said this is not enough I need to be getting hot and sweaty 🥵 so I’ve got my bike out and been seeking out as many hills as I can in half an hour 😂

Do you do lots of exercise?

Very difficult working with someone who is pregnant for sure, I have no advice as I think I would just smile on the outside and cry on the inside. Sending you strength and just think one day that will be you 😊 xx

@MiniBaker Hope you’re having a relaxing bank holiday weekend so far ☺️. AF reared it’s ugly head this morning so I’m out for another month. My cycle this month was longer though (26 days).

I know we need to go on their recommendations, but two years just seems an eternity. Feel I’ve aged by about 5 years in the past 12 months of trying! 🙈

Going to do the same as you this month, sex every other day and I have about 4/5 OPKs left so will use those too.

Keep telling myself ‘must not get stressed’. Pretty sure a woman I work closely with is pregnant, hard to avoid pregnant people when you work with them, isn’t it? 🙈🤦‍♀️ Still, onwards and upwards! It will happen... just not this month evidently!

@RHODXB A huge congratulations! ❤️ Lovely news!

Congratulations @RHODXB

@RHODXB congratulations 🎉 wishing you all the best!

@sunshineandshowers3 it sounds like every other or every third is plenty as it gives sperm time to fully build up.

I’m not sure on our approach this cycle yet - I’ve still got some clear blue digital advanced OPKs so probably will use them this month just because I’ve got them in - not sure about the preseed as DH doesn’t really like me using it...

I’m the same as you - I’m going to try not to pin my hopes each month for the next 6 months and just see what happens and try with every 2-3 days like the doctor advised.

Despite having acupuncture this month my period was back to being pretty light again - so not going to bother with that this month as it’s expensive really if it’s not doing the trick...

We’ve had the tests and seems like there’s not much else to do at this time... even privately they aren’t suggesting anything else before 2 years so I’m guessing we’ve just got to see how it goes for now..

I can't believe it! Had totally given up!

Yeah I’m hoping and praying it’s nothing to worry about. As I said the doctor is sending him for another one in 3 months, so hopefully early July. Trying to cling onto the positives that it’s still not been a full year yet (just)!

Sorry about your period but glad you’re taking that stance and glad you’ve been able to have a few drinks 🥂. I think every other day is a really good plan. We’ve been trying that this month (but it has slipped a couple of times to every third day). Not holding out much hope this month and trying not to pin my hopes and expectation on each and every cycle.

Are you going to do OPKs and use pre-seed this month or keeping it more relaxed? xx