Active discussions

Help protect children from gaming harms.

Take our survey

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Original poster

Completely fed up

95 replies

Asthenia · 21/01/2021 08:02

Anyone else? 6 months off the pill, 6 months of tracking and timing and temping and have just come on my (most painful) period yet. I’m fed up of seeing pregnancy announcements on social media, fed up of reading into every little symptom - last night I had a really painful tailbone which I read online could be a symptom and massively got my hopes up...what an idiot! Fed up of sore boobs. Fed up of putting off buying another pair of period knickers which I love because they’re expensive and next month might be the month! Fed up of googling every tiny thing (I need my phone taken off me!) fed up of worrying about my 8 day luteal phase and constantly looking for stories about how people conceived despite it.
I’m about to turn 30 which I KNOW is young, and I KNOW 6 months of TTC isn’t that long but it doesn’t feel that way. Four of my friends have got pregnant in the last 6 months, two of them completely by accident, the other two on their first go. I’m happy for them but it doesn’t help in making me feel like there’s something wrong with me - I would feel less bad if it had taken them longer.
I also feel like every time I google/mumsnet I find posts that I’m nodding along with about not getting pregnant and then the poster says they’ve already got 1 or 2 children. I imagine secondary infertility must be painful and I’m not belittling that but sometimes it makes me feel worse because I think well at least you know your body is capable of pregnancy, I’ve never even had a hint of a positive test in my life (this isn’t bashing or criticising anyone btw, just my own stupid thought process).
Feeling very negative but I think that’s probably largely to do with horrendous period pains and CD1 and hopefully I will feel better tomorrow. Anyone else completely fed up? Please feel free to rant.

OP posts:
CycloGoose · 18/02/2021 11:08

@AlexaPlayWhiteNoise sounds like a rocky road in more ways than one!!
I've given up chocolate for lent. I needed a kickstart. Been gradually losing a good portion of weight but I've been digging into the chocolate way more than is healthy.
I can't imagine the stress of having a miscarriage and then a chemical.
Ha! We have an exercise bike as well. My husband is going more down the running line at the moment but when schools open up he'll be commuting on his bike again.
The problem is that he's got a degree in public health and nutrition and no matter what I say about his balls, he thinks it's all balls.
I'm on CD6 and just started the CB opks again. No idea what's going to happen this month with my cycle after last month!

AlexaPlayWhiteNoise · 18/02/2021 09:45

That sucks asthenia CD1 is always a complete bastard. In usually a very healthy eater but I've consumed more rocky road and wine in the last few days than I care to think about and I hope you're doing the same. I'd definitely be making an appointment, and making noises about a fertility referral in that appointment so they know that that is your intention. We ended up living with my parents for seven months, it was supposed to be six weeks. I can look back on it fondly now but at the time 😬😂

CycloGoose If you can get coQ10 down your dh then that's supposed to be good for sperm production Grin mine's a health junkie so is amenable to "take this, it's good for your balls". But he can't go to the gym so has been on the spin bike which stresses me out (not good for sperm!) so I make him exercise with the patio doors wide open whatever the weather Grin

All OK here, CD7, my fertile week isn't for another fortnight or so but I'll start SMEP in a few days. Just ordered a fresh preseed and some new OPKs. Got all my vitamins in my weekly pill dispenser so I don't forget to take any. And this is me being laid back Grin it actually feels less stressful this cycle, I think I'd built up so much to wanting to be pregnant before DS2s due date and now that defo wont happen it's a relief. Having the chemical made me realise my hysteria was getting to fever pitch and I need to calm down a bit.

How is everyone today?

CycloGoose · 17/02/2021 17:39

@Asthenia I cannot imagine living with in laws whilst trying to conceive! It will be totally worth it to get on the ladder though.
We have been so lucky with our house as we got a really reduced price due some complicated history of the house. Needless lot of work but I've enjoyed doing it.
Still ongoing work to do but we are totally getting there. You'll just have to do your best and focus on the end goal.
I knew it would be negative but I thought I should probably just double check 🙄😂
Once I'm back at school next week, there's going to be little time to think about it again. Will just be trying to squeeze in dtd!
I've been feeding my husband supplements... He's not happy about it at all. Can't even get him to cut down on the coffee or beer really. I don't think he is concerned in the slightest. Meanwhile I'm probably too stressed about trying to get everything right and am creating a hostile environment that no little bundle of cells wants to nestle into 😂
We'll totally get there. I've realised this is cycle 6 for me as my first cycle was 9 weeks long.

Original poster
Asthenia · 17/02/2021 14:24

It’s so rubbish @CycloGoose ! Not getting very much work done today, may sneak off slightly early to watch some Married At First Sight Grin
Yeah I’m not sure how my GP will be, she’s usually really good but I guess as it hasn’t been a year yet there won’t be much she can say or do.
Sorry about the bfn, it’s still horrible seeing it even if you know you’re defo not. I try to avoid taking them!
We’re actually moving in with my partner’s parents (not permanently, thank god) - we’ve been renting for the past two years but now want to seriously save for a house. We’re really really lucky to be able to do this so not taking it for granted but I’m definitely a bit apprehensive about it all...hopefully it won’t stress me out too much.
Hopefully you’ll have a lucky cycle once AF is out the way! Fingers crossed xxx

OP posts:
CycloGoose · 17/02/2021 10:22

I feel you @Asthenia It's all completely rotten. Indulge yourself XXX

I spoke to my GP and she was lovely and reassuring but no real info and she's not worried at all.
My temps never go over 37. If they do, I'm ill. I wouldn't worry too much about that.
I'm on CD5 though my temperature doesn't seem to have dropped so I took a test just in case it was really heavy implantation bleeding 🙄 obviously bfn. I did have a beer last night -probably that.
Purple clear blue start again tomorrow.
Where's the move? Buying/renting? Excited?

Take care honey and be kind to yourself xxx

Original poster
Asthenia · 17/02/2021 09:57

Aaaaand we’re back at CD1 over here Sad absolutely gutted. Cycle 7 over and done with I guess. I know all this means is statistically it’s more likely to happen in the next 5 months or so and am holding onto that but there’s something about seeing AF arrive when you’ve been holding out hope that’s just so gutting. Ugh.
I’m definitely going to book a doctors appt to talk about my luteal phase. I ovulated on CD18 this month instead of 21 as usual and was really excited as thought it would give me a whole 11 day LP! But nope, had a 27 day cycle instead of my usual 30. My post ov temps never go higher than 36.65 either which I worry about - so many people seem to go up to 37!
Positives are we will potentially be moving in the next 6 weeks and I’ll need lots of energy for that, will probably be a bit stressful as well so maybe it’s for the best.
Anyway - moan over! How’s everyone doing?
@SEpoppet how’s it going for you?
@CycloGoose where are you at in your cycle?
@AlexaPlayWhiteNoise how are you feeling?

And everyone else!

OP posts:
CycloGoose · 13/02/2021 15:11

Not over it yet but I cycled to the top of Alpe d'Huez in the summer whilst a stone overweight and completely out of shape. That seemed impossible at the time.

The twists and turns of these kind of cycles makes that seem like a piece of cake.

Just keep pedalling through our cycles girls and we WILL reach the top of our menstrual mountains!

Stupid curve ball.

If all else fails, throw a crazy metaphor at it. Cycle Day 1 insanity 😂😭😵🥴❤️

AlexaPlayWhiteNoise · 13/02/2021 14:36

@SEpoppet

Hey *@Asthenia thanks for asking. Things are better today, I did a test with SMU and it was darker than it had ever been so I'm feeling a bit more positive. It scared me though and made me realise how precarious is all is! Just got to keep the faith. @cyclogoose* sorry to hear about AF. Best of luck for the next cycle - I'm 33 and it took 6 cycles, wasn't on the pill or any hormonal contraception before x
Will keep my fingers crossed for a happy healthy uneventful nine months for you Smile
AlexaPlayWhiteNoise · 13/02/2021 14:35

[quote CycloGoose]@Asthenia Hello! Bit late to the party but feeling very similar. Hope your TWW turns out to be an actual two weeks for you and you get your bfp.

I'm feeling hollow this morning. After 9 weeks with no period when I came off the pill, everything has been super standard - od day 14, af day 29 but yesterday I got some spotting on 9dpo, I was like omg I'm getting implantation bleeding, this is it! No. It's AF coming 5 days early to really p on my chips. 😭

Considering buying some at home fertility tests.

None of my friends are trying currently but one good friend has a baby 6 months and one had a baby last week. They're both older than me, one got pregnant in 3 goes the other was a complete accident whilst travelling - she just married the guy on the beach at 7 months pregnant. Great for them but.... Wahhhhhhhhh

I'm 34 so a little older than you :)[/quote]
Cycles are shit when they throw you a curve ball. How are you tracking? TTC takes over your mind doesn't it. And it's so frustrating. I'm 34 too, don't worry, we're not over the hill yet 😁

AlexaPlayWhiteNoise · 13/02/2021 14:32

@Asthenia

I hope everything’s OK *@SEpoppet* ?? How are you feeling? *@AlexaPlayWhiteNoise* yes I’ve heard SMEP is good! Will definitely give it a go if this cycle is a write-off. God TTC is knackering!! I can see the relief in my partner’s eyes whenever I announce fertile week is over Grin Sorry to hear about your CP - fingers crossed this means this month will be super fertile for you?
It definitely takes the romance and spontaneity out of sex but no denying it works. And you don't stress about having missed the window. Are you using opks or bbt temping?

Re the chemical, it's a bit shit but looking at the positives, I ovulated, it fertilised and implanted, it was just a bum egg (or sperm, probably sperm, let's blame dh 😂) I went all last year without ovulating at all. When we lost DS2 I lost a lot of weight so I'm wondering if it kick started my system but the eggs aren't up to scratch.

CycloGoose · 13/02/2021 13:47

I don't know much about cycles returning to normal after mini pill. Cd16 is still totally acceptable and always the possibility that you missed it on the opks but anovulatory happen too. Why do our bodies have to be so complicated!?

glow92 · 13/02/2021 13:37

I'm was on Cerelle for 8 years, currently CD16 still no sign of anything on OPK's yet. I know it can still happen but I only had a 25 day cycle last month with a short 8day LP so I'm not expecting miracles 😞.

CycloGoose · 13/02/2021 13:20

Congratulations @SEpoppet !! God you must be bouncing off the walls. So lovely 🥰 What a great valentine's gift. An October baby as well ☺️ I had my heart set on an Autumn baby but I would take anything now!

I think 6 months seems fairly average which is why it seems to feel a bit harder not being successful this month. Though, I have just realised it was only cycle 5 not cycle 6 because of the delayed start.

So, all in for November due dates!

@glow92 it's horrible isn't it! Why tf would our bodies do this to us? Hard enough as it is. What cycle are you on? What cycle day? Were you on hormonal contraception before? Could just be settling back into a normal rhythm.

I feel horrible today. My uterus just seems to be screaming 'I hate you'. Hormonal much!? Confused

glow92 · 13/02/2021 12:53

@CycloGoose the same thing happened to me last cycle, a little blood at 9DPO I convinced myself was implantation... but it didn't stop and was AF five days early I was gutted. I don't think I'm ovulating this cycle either which has really deflated me.

SEpoppet · 13/02/2021 12:44

Hey @Asthenia thanks for asking. Things are better today, I did a test with SMU and it was darker than it had ever been so I'm feeling a bit more positive. It scared me though and made me realise how precarious is all is! Just got to keep the faith. @cyclogoose sorry to hear about AF. Best of luck for the next cycle - I'm 33 and it took 6 cycles, wasn't on the pill or any hormonal contraception before x

CycloGoose · 13/02/2021 12:04

@Asthenia Hello! Bit late to the party but feeling very similar. Hope your TWW turns out to be an actual two weeks for you and you get your bfp.

I'm feeling hollow this morning. After 9 weeks with no period when I came off the pill, everything has been super standard - od day 14, af day 29 but yesterday I got some spotting on 9dpo, I was like omg I'm getting implantation bleeding, this is it! No. It's AF coming 5 days early to really p on my chips. 😭

Considering buying some at home fertility tests.

None of my friends are trying currently but one good friend has a baby 6 months and one had a baby last week. They're both older than me, one got pregnant in 3 goes the other was a complete accident whilst travelling - she just married the guy on the beach at 7 months pregnant. Great for them but.... Wahhhhhhhhh

I'm 34 so a little older than you :)

Original poster
Asthenia · 13/02/2021 11:30

I hope everything’s OK @SEpoppet ?? How are you feeling?
@AlexaPlayWhiteNoise yes I’ve heard SMEP is good! Will definitely give it a go if this cycle is a write-off. God TTC is knackering!! I can see the relief in my partner’s eyes whenever I announce fertile week is over Grin
Sorry to hear about your CP - fingers crossed this means this month will be super fertile for you?

OP posts:
SEpoppet · 12/02/2021 18:19

Thanks @AlexaPlayWhiteNoise, that is reassuring, and thanks for the congrats @MaltyJones92. Actually, after I posted that it seemed to get darker and comparing it now to yesterday's now they have faded it doesn't seem much different and the urine was much more dilute. I guess there's nothing to do but ride it out and what will be will be...still got all my symptoms which I guess is good x

AlexaPlayWhiteNoise · 12/02/2021 12:13

Fingers crossed for you SE. Fluctuations in tests darkness is really common and often nothing to worry about.

AlexaPlayWhiteNoise · 12/02/2021 12:11

I use the syringe with preseed but I only use 1ml or so each time. I'd recommend the SMEP plan. It definitely "works". Unfortunately I'm on CD1 after a chemical pregnancy. But will be going straight back to SMEP and preseed schedule.

SEpoppet · 12/02/2021 10:37

Well guys, bit of an emotional morning for me as I did a test again and the line has got lighter. It wasn't with FMU as yesterday's was so I am keeping fingers crossed but not hopeful sadly. I'll let you know. Thanks for the congrats though.

@Asthenia I used the dropper but only used 1mg as felt if I used any more it would all sort of leak out at the end! Sorry for anyone eating brekkie 😂

MaltyJones92 · 12/02/2021 10:33

Congratulations @SEpoppet! It's always nice to to see positive news on these threads as it gives me hope too.

@Asthenia thanks for the tip with Positive Birth Company - I've just started following them on Insta.

I'm also thinking about using Preseed as I keep hearing good things about it.

About to start my 2WW so will be buying it next month if we're unsuccessful again.

Original poster
Asthenia · 12/02/2021 09:43

@SEpoppet that is really useful to know. We tend to do it every 3 days from the end of my period, then ovulation week every day/every other day, then we stop after ovulation day but if we haven’t done it this cycle then I’m telling him to buckle up for the next one Grin we’ll try your schedule!
With the pre-seed, do you use the droppers inside you? We’ve tried it and it felt horrible so we’ve just been using it like normal lube but if it helps I’ll just grin and bear it.

OP posts:
SEpoppet · 12/02/2021 09:26

@Asthenia thanks so much. That sounds like a good thing to get involved in. Keep us all updated!

It might be worth mentioning for anyone interested that this month we DTD every other day from end of my period to 3 days before ov. Then we did it every day until the day after ov. I used a bit of preseed and also for the first time a ferti lily cup (you can get them from amazon). I really think this helped as well as all the sex!

Original poster
Asthenia · 11/02/2021 09:52

Omg @SEpoppet that’s fantastic news!!!!! And genuinely does give me hope as I’m just in the TWW for cycle 7! Congratulations, I’m very very pleased for you, you must be thrilled!

How’s everyone else getting on? If anyone is on Instagram, the Positive Birth Company are releasing a TTC pack course in a few weeks. They asked their followers some questions recently and found almost 70% were surprised by how long it took to conceive. I think I’m going to sign up as it feels really good to talk about it! Even just looking at the comments under their insta post made me feel a lot more normal.

Hope everyone is OK, sending lots of positive energy your ways!

OP posts:
Swipe left for the next trending thread