Yogurt pot yuppies, sexy basters and UFO discs - part 3

And this is my chart....

Hi ladies. A bit confused, as always!.

So it's second cycle ttc. I use the clear blue OPK which I used this time too.
Out of interest and wanting to connect to the Premom app I also bought some OPKs strips. I didn't receive them until after I had ovulated.
However, I keep being told they're high. And the number doesn't even seem to relate to any other I've seen on anyone else's. I've posted a pic below.
As you can see there is an LH decline today but it still says high.

Had bright red spotting and cramps yesterday at around 1pm. Had brown spotting later last night. But then it stopped this morning. Took an IC, followed by a FRER this morning and had very, very faint lines on both.

So, in limbo land over here, definitely not getting excited over it, not sure if it's a chemical or what. I shouldn't have tested yet but I was just so convinced I had symptoms.

@birdbybird I also wanted to say please don't feel guilty. There is nothing you could have done to prevent this. I go to a super intensive IVF clinic and they pump us full of aspirin, progesterone, immune drugs etc but women still miscarry. I still miscarried despite all of that. It's tough but it happens and it isn't our fault xxx

@Oilyoilyoilgob sometimes an enforced break is a good thing as you say. Take some time out and hope to see you again soon (and rubella free!)

@Bluey18 sorry you are out. It's always hard especially when you had symptoms x

@Makingnumber2 I'm so sorry. What a devastating day. Take time out and be kind to yourself. We'll all be here if you ever want us xxx

@birdbybird Such a sad day for you too and I can totally understand why you feel angry and upset. It is hard not to be able to share with the people you love. There will be time to think about getting more information and Drs etc. For now, it's just a case of getting through it anyway you can. When it happened to me I went straight to Asda and bought up their entire stock of chocolate, crisps and chocolate and just basically ate crap and watched tv for a few days. Sending so much love x

@Birdbybird, I'm sorry your husband is not being supportive. For what it's worth, with my DD I told my mum at 6 weeks as I was bleeding and needed support. My DP's parents weren't told until nearly 11 weeks. I think it is you who is going through it and you who gets to decide what supports you need.

Makingnumber2, I am so sorry for your loss. I was so hoping it would good news. Please be kind to yourself and know that we are here for you anytime you need xx

I am 11dpo, had majorly convinced myself I was pregnant but I had a bit of bright red spotting at lunch time so think may be out . Gutted as I had so many signs this month.

Sorry to hear about your sad news @birdbybird

@Makingnumber2 I, like many others here have been following you as you’ve posted and I’m just really, really sorry to see this. I hope the EPU can keep supporting you with any help you need during this time.
Sending a really big hug to you and please just take care of yourself and I hope you and your husband will be ok 💚

I’m going to do the same and bow out for a few days. As per my blood test I need a rubella vaccination which is booked for next week and the GP recommends not trying to get pregnant for a month from my vaccination date.
This has actually offered me a huge relief today, the first two weeks of a month are spent on a period, then tracking opks, then inseminating and bringing myself to orgasm when sometimes it’s the last thing I feel like doing. Then the two weeks after that are spent in hope, wondering, watching out for signs, eating and drinking really well etc all of which I don’t begrudge but life has become a merry go round of stress and worry. This month with time off from doing that will be a bit of a release and I’m going to look after myself.

Wishing lots of luck to everyone are inseminating and who are going into their tww-fingers crossed!
Sending hugs and strength to those who got their period and who are going through losses💚xx

So sorry to hear about your bad news @birdbybird

Not good news for me either. Had second scan done. Sac is still empty. Had grown but only 7mm in 12 days. I'm 8weeks today (at the most conservative estimate- by my dates I'm 8w5) and so the fact there's nothing there means this is the end of the road. I've left a message for EPU for a call back which won't be before tomorrow morning as they only pick up messages 9-12. Anyway I'm signing off from here for the next few days I think.
Sending lots of baby dust to everyone in TWW and SI-ing and lots of solidarity sadness and wine to those with AF and going through losses of their own xxx

It is my body though right... if I wanted to tell my mother to get some moral support/advice... is it right for him to discourage?
Or should I have just ignored what he said, so I have myself to blame anyway.
Anyway rant over!

Men! Can't live with them... etc. If I didn't have the sperm donor (husband) I wouldn't have the bean in the first place.

I'm back from the hospital appointment where they confirmed I've miscarried naturally but I need to do a pregnancy test in 3 weeks to confirm. Bean conceived via injection.
I'm conscious I'm cycling through the stages of grief, and right now I'm feeling angry at my husband.
The reason is: he thought we shouldn't tell anyone until the 12 week scan because of what could go wrong. And by anyone, I mean not even my mother, who I'm fairly close to. Because if I tell my mother, then he feels like he should tell his parents... it becomes a bloody competition. Additional info: my husband thinks my mother is a bit too controlling, and I feel this colours his judgement.
So, as per the previous cycle (when I had a chemical), I started spotting again this last cycle and ended up with a bean with no heartbeat at a scan after showing a heartbeat at a previous scan.
At this point I told my mother (she lives other side of the world) that I was pregnant but showing signs of a miscarriage... she asked me to see a gynecologists asap and to see one privately if I couldn't see one via the NHS.
I've now booked an appointment with a doctor next week, but I've already miscarried (as per the scan today).
My mind is full of what if's. What if, I'd ignored my husband, and mentioned to my mother that I was pregnant and spotting, what if my mother had encouraged me to see a gynecologist, and what if the gynecologist had prescribed progesterone or aspirin or something which meant my bean would still be alive.
I'm clutching at straws and trying to find someone to blame... but I'm feeling guilt.

@MrsKin90so glad your midwife was lovely and as helpful as she can be at this stage. Good luck for tomorrow, we are here for you either way ✨

@Makingnumber2 so glad your midwife was lovely and as helpful as she can be at this stage. Good luck for tomorrow, we are here for you either way

@Janefx40 Oh my goodness - how stressful to go through that and believe that you’re both infertile, what the hell happened for them to get it wrong? I am SO glad that isn’t the case though!

@bizawat lovely to see you post on here again. Yay for cycle buddies, here’s hoping for this month 🤞🏻

@Lori23TTC lovely to see you post again, here for you if and when you need us again on this thread, take care

@MrsKin90 happy birthday for next week!! We are here for you if and when you decide to come back! Good thinking re the BMI- I am going to do that tomorrow, thanks so much! Really?!- blood test for chlamydia... I wish they did that for my first full blood work? Even my Lloyds pharmacy one is a swab.

For those mentioning about the chlamydia testing as part of process- I was horrified when I was asked as I’ve been with my hubby to be for 12 years! But, it’s a elimination process because that specific STD is usually non symptomatic for women and leads to infertility if untreated. Although men usually show symptoms - it makes me wonder by my partner wasn’t tested and just me 🙄 and presumably if we had it he would have symptoms.

Sorry to go off on an STD tangent 😅

Off to torture myself and watch the Emma Willis delivering babies programme 🤪🤪🤪

@Lori23TTC my lovely I’ve been thinking of you, I never like to tag because of what may be going on.

Thank you for messaging and I am just so, so sorry for you. I can feel your pain through your words. Sending you a huge hug.
The brown spotting you’re getting is just so cruel as it’s so easy to think it would be implantation, that’s just so sad.

I do get you on the professional route and @Janefx40 put it really nicely in that there’s a group of people there helping and wanting for you to achieve a pregnancy.
I’ve gone into a bit of disbelief that this is happening because I made a stupid assumption that I’d conceive within a few months. I guess in a few months it could happen for us but I can’t keep letting the time tick away, my husband is wanting this (ivf etc) much more than me right now. I just want to curl up and hide for a while. I’m sad and stressed over a few things and this sounds so babyish but I said to my husband last night can we just have this one sprinkle of good news and a bit of luck on our side. Just this one thing.

I found out today the girlfriend of a friend is pregnant, and like you I just feel left out and very, very sad.

Thank you for letting me know I’m not alone, it’s been a hard few days and weeks for a good few of us and I just feel so sorry that it has to be this way when I know our babies would be so loved and wanted.

Take care of yourself and we are here whenever you need us. I might join you and @MrsKin90 for a while in our respective caves 💚 xx

Hi all... I’ve not been on here for a little while and I’ve been catching up on all your news.

I want to say congratulations to everyone who has had a BFP recently it’s fantastic news and I wish you all a happy healthy 9 months ❤️

I wasn’t going to comment as I’m not in a good place at the moment as ttc is really taking it out of me but @Oilyoilyoilgob your message really hit me. I’m so sorry your AF is coming/here. I am DPO15 today and mine is also on the way (bbt temp drop) The last few cycles I’ve been getting brown spotting on day 6-9 and let myself believe it was implantation. I had a HSG in December and I felt really positive that the next 3 months we would have more of a ‘chance’ that 3 months is up now. I feel similar to you in I don’t smoke, drink (apart from a few glasses of wine when AF turns up) I’ve had all the fertility tests and everything has come back normal. I’m onto my 19th cycle now and it’s so hard.
My next appointment with the fertility clinic is in a few months and it will be the IUI/IVF route which like you I really did not see happening. So frustrating when I know so many other people recently who have got pregnant first time (really struggling with this atm) everyone around me is pregnant and I feel like I’m being left out. I think for me the stress of doing it this way is too much now so maybe I do need to leave it in the hands of the professionals.I just wanted to reply to you so you know your not alone in how you feel ❤️
Like @MrsKin90 said I’m just going to climb back into my hole now too!

I also didn’t get offered a chlamydia test I don’t think, it was never mentioned anyway?!

Sorry I haven’t mentioned everyone but I have read through all the messages and I’m thinking of you all 💜 xx

@MrsKin90 I had no idea they tested it by blood, GP hasn’t suggested it so I wish it could’ve all just been taken at once for a full MOT like you! Get it all over with. Hope you’re not too upset and that’s absolutely fantastic on the weight loss, every pound off is brilliant 😊
Well I said that to my mum, I know some run out but not sure about rubella. Haven’t googled it but I know I’ll need it before getting pregnant if that happens. I’ll have a look into coq10 thank you 💚

@Bizawit thank you, that’s kind and thank you for sharing about your tubes. I’m glad it went ok and quickly. You’re right it’s a really hard journey and I think I’m in a bit of disbelief it hasn’t happened. I genuinely thought I’d get pregnant. Had one very late period last February, our first ‘what if’ moment of thinking I could be. Can’t believe a year later husband is pushing ivf. I’m genuinely so hurt, upset and disappointed and absolutely kicking myself for taking it for granted that pregnancy would happen.

@bitheby glad you have some more information to work towards any paths you may choose to take after trying SI and you’ll be able to start trying whichever one you think will work best for you.

Hi all

Had my phone appointment with the NHS fertility clinic this morning. Not sure how I feel. I'm meant to be working from home but can't really focus.

Basically they will do all the tests - FSH, AMH, chlamydia and a pelvic ultrasound and I will have access to their counsellor all for free. But given my age, I won't be entitled to any treatment so I'd have to pay for that privately. If I'd started with the NHS when I first went to a private fertility clinic then I would have fallen within the funding guidelines and been entitled to NHS fertility treatment.

All the way along I feel like I've missed the boat/ had bad luck. I should have done better research I guess.

Anyway, it could all be moot if it turns out that I'm already pregnant. Feel crampy and tingly already but it's far too early for anything pregnancy related so I'm hoping I don't have a UTI brewing.

@Sydney1986x thanks for checking in. I dropped off for a couple of weeks- af came right on time and I was feeling a bit miserable. I’m cd13 so we are cycle buddies. No sign of peak yet..

@Makingnumber2 just catching up on the thread and I saw your news about the scan. So sorry that you are dealing with all this stress. Got everything crossed for you for the next one ❤️❤️❤️.

@Oilyoilyoilgob so sorry that you are feeling so low. It’s just the hardest thing in the world TTC . I know what you mean about the invasive tests. I had my tubes flushed yesterday and I felt pretty awkward, but I just tried to put it out of my head and it was over in no time and then I felt good that I’d had it all done. Sending you solidarity and strength ❤️❤️

@Oilyoilyoilgob I didn't realise it wasn't standard to have Chlamydia tested by blood to be honest. I know my nurse yesterday was impressed by how much blood she had to take and said one would be late back as they had to "grow things on it" which is the chlamydia one! She also said I was clearly having a "full MOT". 🤷
Haha I'm in a fluctuating upset/not upset state of mind really.
Immunisations do "run out" for some people don't they? So you have to get top ups? Not sure if I made that up.
I'm working on weight loss too 😊 slow going but every pound off is a success I guess.. (if I could wake up 14lbs lighter and pregnant tomorrow I'd be grateful, is that too much to ask?).
Well done with your finger clicking and trying to reduce stress. That might be all it really takes! I've been taking coq10 for egg quality for.. well forever now. Not sure it does anything but throwing it out there as an FYI.

@MrsKin90
Hey lovely x

Yeah sorry I just had enough after the MC in September, just wanted to get on with things for a while I was I so pissed off with my body and found it hard to not get pissed off with my hubby too about the whole delayed ejaculation that I just told him I wanted a break for a month, ended up being a couple of months and I totally hope I don't regret it. Think I also had a wobble about turning 40 and the whole ' am I now too old to get pregnant' thrown in to the mix was a couple of friends getting pregnant and I was a hot mess in my own mind with disappointment and anger at myself for not being able to get pregnant again 🙄
But I think the time off has done me the world of good, no symptom spotting no testing etc

We have had the discussion about ivf though x don't know when we would get to the stage of let's just do it but I think we're going to keep trying at least for a few more months and see what happens x

@MrsKin90 so glad to hear from you, didn’t want to tag in case you were upset over anything.
I’m crossing everything for you that you get good news on your birthday of a positive pregnancy test, I really am. Best of luck over the next few days.
That’s great you got your bloods done, I hope all is well. That’s interesting you got your chlamydia as part of it, I didn’t and that would’ve been easier! Good luck to your husband too for his SA, I hope you both have good results 💚

I checked my results online yesterday afternoon. All looks well apart from I have no immunisation to rubella showing. Called my mum who is adamant I’ve had it so who knows. But I’ll need to get that done.

I’m taking pre-conception Vitamins and was always pretty good at a multivit before them so hoping I have bases covered. Diet not too bad either, no alcohol, no smoking, the only thing I really need to concentrate on is carrying on losing weight and upping my fitness.
Biggest thing for me is stress so I’m actively working on that day to day to lower it-apart from that there’s not much else I can do.

That’s made me chuckle about their jobs and lady gardens and I’m going to bank that! You’re right on positive affirmations and I’ll start doing it.
A good tip I got on a pet grief website was when going down a dark hole of bad thoughts, do something physical like click fingers or hold up a hand and say stop loudly. That’s been helping for everything, there’s a lot of finger clicking 😁

Don’t worry about going away into your cave, we all need to at some point but thinking of you and wishing you lots of luck for no period arriving and your health results 💚 xx

@Oilyoilyoilgob ah did I miss you saying your tests were all fine? Are you taking any vitamins etc? Just wondered if you were taking anything to help egg quality! It's absolutely devastating getting AF every month. It is embarrassing being on display but I try to think 'I won't see this person again so it doesn't matter / if they didn't want to see a variety of "lady gardens" they're in the wrong profession so that's their problem not mine" 😁easier to say than do I know. The more you dread it the worse it'll feel, would a sort of positive body/positive health mantra help? You could chant it to yourself whenever you start to worry?

Ah hello again @birdbybird I've not changed my username so am now considerably older than 40!!! I have had amazing support from Mumsnet over the years. I've even met up with a couple of people since!

I'm so sorry for your loss. I had a loss at 8w4 in August and it is a hard thing to go through. It sounds sensible for you to wait a month until you've checked that everything is back to normal. Sending lots of love x

Just a quick check in from me (quite a long one actually but touching base with everyone before selfishly going back into my hole). 9dpo for me, nothing to report. Will test on birthday if no spotting or AF (which would be 15dpo) Feeling very disenchanted with the whole thing (aka quite miserable).
Had blood test yesterday and should have result by my birthday next week. Husband's SA appointment is Monday.

@eloiseislost I'm so happy to see your little bean is partying away ❤️ hopefully that news will keep you going through until the next scan.

@makingnumber2 I cannot believe you've not been referred to EPU 😕 however, at least there is a scan not too far on the horizon, still have everything crossed for you that the first scan was just an unnecessary worry.

@carol1980 where have you been?? Hope this cycle is the one for you and finding us is your lucky omen.

@comebackqueen Your BFP!! How amazing! Congratulations - all that worrying about tests and referrals obviously did the trick 😊 super thrilled for you!

@Oilyoilyoilgob so sorry about spotting and potential AF. Absolutely know how it breaks your heart. Hopefully there's nothing wrong with your test results and the doctor can provide some forward motion for you ❤️

@Sydney1986x I hope you ovulate soon, thanks for checking in on the MIA people! Probably a bit late now but is it worth ringing your GP to update your BMI so they pass across the correct info? Or just reply all on the email stating your new weight? My chalmydia test is being run as part of my blood tests so that's interesting!

@birdbybird welcome! So sorry for your losses. I imagine this method does damage sperm sometimes, but the significantly damaged ones would never make it to the egg IMO. Watch some YouTube videos on how the sperm gets to the egg - our bodies basically start a war with them all and anyone not strong enough gets bumped off in the journey. Also though, I read that your egg can usually fix a slightly wonky sperm? Something else for you to Google if interested 😊

@bitheby glad you got to meet your donor, let us know how you get on with your phone appointment!

@Janefx40 that's crazy! But I'm glad it was wrong as that's one less battle for you!

I know I've not mentioned some people - hope you're okay and pregnancies or SI are all going swimmingly. Keep going lovely ladies ❤️