TTC #2 over 40

@Lastyearttc I’m CD12... started DTD from CD9 and got a high fertility day today.
Hoping tomorrow is peak and I ovulate Saturday or Sunday.

@Cashewcookie that must have been horrible, I really feel for you. Some of the language used around fertility is really disheartening and I think sometimes if there isn’t a clear solution (or issue), drs / fertility clinics will hedge their bets and give you a lower probability of success. Especially when it is in their interests to get you to do more tests, try ivf etc....and especially difficult for you if you have been through such a rough period before you started trying. I hope you are not too shaken up and can be more compassionate with yourself than she was.

@Jem1979 it went all fine thanks for asking good news is womb, ovaries, tubes, lining all ok... so it's just down to my old eggs I think! Partner got a SA later this month too, so see what that brings.

@birdbybird I think we are cycle buddies as I'm on cd9 today. Earliest I ovulate is cd 12 so going to try dtd tomorrow onwards.

Cycle no 11 come on!

Thank you @Jem1979 and @Mattieandmummy xx

I thought she was incredible unprofessional saying I had zero chances. But it’s hit home, hard. At least it feels I can move on a bit.

@cashewcookie I'm so sorry for everything you've been through. As @Jem1979 said life can be so cruel and very few people get everything they ever wanted out of life, even those who look like they have everything very often have their own sadness. It doesn't help of course but you really did try. Try not to be too hard on yourself xx

Hi everyone. So I spoke to the fertility clinic for the first time today. She said she can do x2 investigations. A scan and the hycosy. I don’t think I have the capacity to go through with the hycosy. In which case she said that I wouldn’t be given any further treatment.

Husbands results are not great, so that rules out clomid. No ivf on nhs, so will have to be private.

I asked her to be honest with me and she basically I’m a right-off.

My bloods aren’t bad, for age 43- but I guess there’s nothing further I can do. Given this advice.

A family tragedy (of immense proportion) stopped me from trying younger- but now my chance is gone.

Trying not to think about it- as I have my amazing son. But I’m calling it a day I think.

hello! I'm turning 40 on Wednesday and am trying for no.2. we have a little boy who is 2 and a bit, and we conceived him and his predecessor who only made it to 10 weeks () during the first month of trying, but have been trying since Dec 2020 for a second with no luck. because it was so easy for us to conceive the first time around, i was more worried about miscarriages this time, but haven't even had a pregnancy (other than potentially a chemical pregnancy in feb, where my period was late by a few days and i had v sore boobs, but i didn't take a test, so who knows!).

really nice to find this lovely group in a similar situation, even if that situation is not the best! have any/most of you had fertility testing to see if there are any underlying issues? i would quite like to get tested to find out if there are any fundamental problems, but i'm not sure if it's really worth it given that we already have a child so have been able to get pregnant (i.e. is it now just age?) and even though I would really like a sibling for my little boy, we probably wouldn't go the ivf route in any case...

@Twothirtyam I think I would like acupuncture if I wasn’t such a needlephobe.

@Mattieandmummy and @Jem1979 I think I’ll be happy with 2. I think I was only joking about the third because I naively assumed my pregnancy would stick.

@Jem1979 I love acupuncture! I don’t even like needles normally but this is totally different. I think it helps that my acupuncturist is just totally lovely and really nice to chat to for a while. I always feel so completely relaxed afterwards it’s just lovely. I started doing it weekly last cycle so am going to give it three months of weekly and then go down to once or twice a month before I go bankrupt! 😂

@birdbybird I also was hoping for no. 3 after no. 2, I really hope we're all successful.

@Jem1979 congratulations on a good night sleep.
Actually my son has a cold (and he’s given it to me) so bf on demand this weekend. At 9:30am today I have given him two bf already. But probably will just end up being 4 feeds.
It’s cd8 and didn’t do ovulation test this morning but might DTD tonight to catch the fertile window.
I got pregnant so easily earlier this year, I thought we could even try for #3 once #2 was born. Wishful thinking perhaps.

Morning! Just on our way to the beach! We had a 3am start as I had put her in a summer sleeping bag, thinking she would be warm enough. Er.... no. Awake at 3am cold and wanted a chat. I gave up at 4.30am and sent her in to her Dad for stories whilst I managed to get another 30mins. 🙄

@Jem1979 I went to see my GP on Friday, she said it's absolutely totally normal to have irregular periods and low progesterone for one to three months post stopping bf. Can even take up to six months to regulate but there's nothing wrong. I'll add that to the things I wish I'd known.

I've had 3 cycles now since stopping so praying this is the one where everything regulates. I think we'll supplement with progesterone this month and start maybe ovulation induction next month. I wanted to do this on my own but I've realised over the last few days I don't need to be a hero about it. If I need a bit of help along the way so be it.

@Jem1979 well my period has just started, something is clearly not right as that's a 24 day cycle. Stupid hormones.

We have another consultant appointment on Wednesday so we'll see what they say.

@birdbybird I was told everyone is different in terms of whether breastfeeding effects fertility or not. You can check if you're ovulating with a 21 day progesterone test, my GP seems happy to do mine so maybe worth asking. In my experience you can have partial ovulation where you see an LH surge, have muchas etc etc but then your body can't complete the process and produce enough progesterone 😬

@Jem1979 @Lastyearttc interesting that your GP has helped you out mine basically said that because I was over 40 and had a child already there was nothing they could do! They’re usually really great but I’m too nervous to contact them about any tests or anything now. I’ve contacted the local fertility clinic so will see what they say about the fertility MOT. I’ve also upped my acupuncture sessions and have an appointment with a nutritionist booked in so am trying to cover all bases so that I know I’ve properly tried!

Hi @Jem1979 I’m undecided about completely weaning. Yesterday when DS came back from the nursery I just gave him a snack instead so it was only 1 feed as he is night weaned and my DH holds him until he goes to sleep. but no nursery today so will see what happens after he wakes up from the nap.
My gynae said BF is not a problem if TTC but she thinks at his age 1.5 years it’s more for comfort than nutritional benefit. Also she said it will get harder once I am pregnant.
I’m in cycle 6 now and I have a follow up appointment with her in 2 weeks.
I’m also taking it easy and if it happens it happens. I am giving ourselves every chance by using ovulation sticks and DTD or SI every day of the fertile window.

@Twothirtyam my last mc was August last year and I started the ball rolling with fertility tests 6 months later. Was referred by gp to infertility service at the local hospital. Had bloods done and now a hycosy which I'm actually going private for on Tuesday as just can't wait another cycle (am 43 in August and panicking!). Not going down the ivf route either as partner really not fussed either way and we have our little girl (5) so will let nature decide (and supplements of course!)

Has anyone had fertility investigations for no.2? I expected to have MCs but didn’t expect not to get pregnant at all. It’s been nearly a year now and in that time I’ve had one definite CP and a couple of months where I think I perhaps conceived but never got a positive test and AF arrived on time. I’ve never wanted to know what my fertility level is as it would just get me down and wouldn’t change us trying anyway. But now I’m wondering if there would be anything that they could check and perhaps fix with a supplement or something. I’m clutching at straws I guess! I definitely don’t want IVF but I guess if there’s something else that could help. Our local private clinic does a fertility MOT for about £400 I think.

@Jem1979 I think a lot of people really struggle with TTC no 2 regardless of age. I think like miscarriage, it's one of those things no one talks about.

Onwards and upwards x

13.1 on the progesterone test 😔

It's so frustrating that we didn't even have the possibility of conceiving this month. Am hoping it's just a one off month rather long term broken system.