TTC #2 over 40

Hello and happy Friday?! Another action packed lockdown weekend @Jem1979 he was definitely keen 3 1/2 yrs ago...now he’s just indifferent, he feels bad that the MC’s are all my burden in terms of physically and also the time and emotion we’ve put into trying to conceive has taken its toll a bit so he’s always on the fence about it now, he was an only child and could have done with a sibling so he would like one for our son but equally he’s said he’d be more than happy with one...we will give it until summer I think. I’m on CD9 now with a +OPK so we shall see what this month brings! I was too tired to even try on CD8 as per the SMEP so failed at that already but will stick to it from now on...I do think sometimes...if I’m too tired to even ttc then I’m definitely too tired to have another baby! But then hopefully #2 would be a sleeper unlike my current night owl!

Totally echo these thoughts, I go through stages of thinking, let's just enjoy being a triangle (the strongest shape I hasten to add!) and get on with our lives, then literally the next minute I see a photo of a baby and I'm back to square one! One of the (many) disadvantages of struggling to conceive/have a full term pregnancy for me is that I have had sooooooooooooo much time to think about all the pro's and con's, so I've read books/blogs etc on how amazing it is to be an only child and got my head around that for my son (who, I think like your nephew @Jem1979 would be like - "who the flip is this in my house?!" if #2 did arrive!) whilst equally worrying about if he might be lonely after we've gone or if he might have the sole burden of looking after me when I'm old(er) and (even more) wrinkly and can't remember his name! Yes these are the joys of my 2am thoughts sometimes... To be fair, I know probably equal amounts of siblings who get on and siblings who aren't close/don't like each other...it's all a bit of a lottery!

Chocolate & wine for the win! I'm seeing a fertility Dr privately next week so will see what they think about odds of conception going forwards. Part of me wants to stop trying & just enjoy life! I am very grateful for the family I have- have FOMO though & would love a little sibling for my wee one. Hope all you ladies are keeping well

@PankhurstTastic ah sorry to hear that, I would have got my hopes up too at 35 days especially after a year of 28 day cycles...I usually feel a crappy mixture of disappointment, frustration, anger and sadness and do a LOT of sighing and crying when AF turns up, then have a large glass of wine for medicinal purposes and hang on to the fact there's always next month! For now though I hope the /chocolate /meditation/screaming into your pillow [delete as appropriate] will give some small comfort...xxx

Period just started - disappointing but not surprising really after 3 negative tests! I used to have more of a 5 weekly cycle when younger but had been on 28 days for the past year. Not sure if I'm angry, sad or both.

Hello @gizmo167 I'm sorry to hear about your recent MC too xx I hope your cycles get back to normal soon and when you're ready you can start ttc again -I was once told that you can be very fertile after a MC which is ironic as it's often the time you feel least like ttc ever! I did try straight away after one of my MC's but to no avail so I am dubious as to how true that is anyway

Can I join in too?

I will be 43 in a couple of weeks, have had 2 mc in the last year, the last one only 3 weeks ago! I have a DD who is 7, I have pcos although it took 3 years to conceive first time around when my cycles were all over the place I have a new partner now and we got pregnant after only a year or so, not really ttc either, just not preventing! Took a year after the first MC (both of which were at 5wk6d).

Hi @PankhurstTastic how are you doing today - any sign of AF or have you done another ClearBlue? I had a couple of longer cycles but that was after MC's so not much help to you, the body is wonderful yet also very weird sometimes and when you're ttc the last thing you need is false hope - hope you get an answer one way or the other soon!

I think I will try SMEP properly next time too- I missed off the last two days as it became such a chore! I’m in my two week wait now.
Definitely stay positive....! We can do it!

Hi folks, may I join? I'm 41 & TTC no. 2- having a weird time right now, usually have v.regular cycles of 27 or 28 days, but now on day 35 with no period and negative tests! Did a Clearblue earlier today & nowt. Not sure what to make of it all.

You have both inspired me to try SMEP again but with some consistency this time! This is my first cycle trying again since my last miscarriage so I am trying to think of it as starting from scratch and on a new mission - but in a relaxed, calm and not overthinking it type way of course As for the reiki, all I can say is, anything that gets you horizontal in a darkened room which doesn't involve having to cycle your legs for 10 mins afterwards is such a nice change so well worth a try - I often fall asleep!

@41FerrisWheels oh dear! Sounds like you can at least laugh about it (now)! That’s interesting actually... I might look into it. Thank you xx

@Cashewcookie[grim] I tried acupuncture too so know what you mean - and the lady I had sat watching Eastenders on her iPad whilst I was trying to be all zen as I could hear it through her headphones Random! But LOVE reiki so would highly recommend it. I got pregnant a couple of months after starting reiki but never got pregnant in the year I tried acupuncture so evidently wasn't my thing (and I did try someone else who wasn't quite so mad keen on their soaps )

@41FerrisWheels Totally on the SMEP thing, I only managed it this month (minus two!). Oh and I do acupuncture, but I don’t find it relaxing, I find it painful and stressful.

Hi @Cashewcookie! Know exactly how you feel, and I'm sorry to hear you've been through a tough time, it's hard when the decision to conceive is taken out of our hands, I didn't meet my husband until my mid 30's so time wasn't on our side to start off with, but I have taken a lot of comfort in the fact that SO many people do have healthy happy pregnancies in their 40's, if they can do it then so can we! I tried the SMEP, but like most things I am not consistent, as I am rushing to try the next thing which is probably where my problem lies! @Jem1979 yes they prescribed the progesterone because of my recurrent miscarriages, we had all the fertility tests firsts (privately as it was secondary infertility) but they said even with IVF they could only give us an extra 5% chance of getting pregnant, and after the tests I got pregnant twice again anyway, so after the 3rd miscarriage I was eligible for tests on the NHS which is when I got my bloods done but all came back fine thankfully, however I did read some positive things about progesterone so I asked for it, rather than it was offered, and my consultant is lovely so she agreed to prescribe it. So we shall see...I have started reiki which is my way of relaxing, and trying to switch off from thinking about the negative stuff, so hopefully that will help too although can't go now until mid-April obviously!

Hi- I’d link to jump on top. I’m 43 and have a 7 yr old who was conceived with no issues. Really struggling now and am a bit obsessed too. Taking about 10 different supplements and am currently having bloods checked. Have lots of friends who had successful pregnancies after 40- so I thought it would be easier than I’m finding it. Feel very sad that I left it too late (family tragedy stopped my trying earlier on). Have been trying for 4 months so far, will try SME-thingy next month.

Thank you @jem1979 I do too, and for all of us, especially after the crazy year of covid we’ve all had, it would be amazing to have some happy news for a change and something so positive to look forward to. I’ve been prescribed progesterone this time so if I am lucky enough to get pregnant again at least I will be trying something new which gives me a bit of extra hope Good luck with the weaning and hope you get a BFP soon! Would love to hear how everyone else is getting on too-I’ve been googling pregnancy in your 40’s A LOT and found a woman called Claudia Spahr who had all 3 of her children in her 40’s and has written a book called Right Time Baby, anyone read that? Although I could probably open my own branch of Waterstones with the amount of books I have on the topics of fertility, miscarriage. & parenting 🤦‍♀️So maybe don’t need yet another one!