TTC #2 over 40

Hi @GingerFox2021 welcome to the group! It is indeed so hard to keep distracted and not overthink everything, but now that things are starting to open up again it will hopefully help to keep ourselves busy and not checking our Clue app every 2 mins I'm just embarking on SMEP again this month, had a peak fertility smiley face this morning on CD9?! Seem to be ovulating earlier and earlier...random. Good luck and hopefully we'll see some more peeps get a BFP soon like @Jem1979 who started this thread!!

Hello Ladies! I am in the same boat. I have just turned 41. We are TTC number 2. Had my first one at 39 and conceived straight away - having sex twice only. So I was sure it will be the same with the second 😃which is not apparently 🤔. Trying not to think too much which sometimes is hard.

Thanks all!! I'm glad you agree I wasn't being over-sensitive as I did wonder so appreciate your thoughts as always. However, as I still need to socialise with her and she lives on my street I shall have to refrain from throwing an egg at her house (hmmm symbolic!) and rise above it, but I shall certainly be be wary of what I share with her in the future...

So, moving on...Alex Jones!! She's 44! This is fabulous news ladies!! We can so do this!! I can't wait to get started again now- she has inspired me -thanks for sharing that @Jem1979

In other news, I did read that Royal Jelly supplements can be good for enhancing egg quality...I know, I am a sucker for supplement recommendations but I thought, hell, I've got nothing to lose as they were only £6.99. Anyone else taking those?

@41FerrisWheels lovely to hear from you too! That book sounds interesting actually- I hope it’s upbeat and positive and has none of that “less than 1%” rubbish. Am defo feeling the positive vibes- needed some of those today! The sun is shining too...

I don’t know at what point it’s deemed necessary to suggest substituting an animal for a child. Utterly inappropriate. It would have royally pissed me off too. Glad it’s fired you up rather than getting you down.

We can do this!

@41FerrisWheels ha ha ha yup, I am with you on the face punching and think you were very restrained. Sheesh. The things people say!

I’ve had people say ‘at least you have your daughter’ which I do understand and they’re right, but it doesn’t really square with wanting a bigger family and the longing I feel.

The sun’s out today and I’m feeling hopeful too. We’re going to get there ladies 🌞☺️

@Cashewcookie lovely to hear from you and I have exactly the same three thoughts on a loop too! It's exhausting for sure and I am glad to have this group to dip in and out of, knowing we are all going through the same thing - totally get wanting to have a break too, sometimes a distraction from thinking about it all is just what is needed. I am feeling positive for all of us today, onwards and upwards!! I think, from the brief description I read on the back, that the Right Time Baby book is less about practical advice (which I think we could all write our own books on now anyway ) and more about giving the reader some positive stats and info about having a baby in your 40's, which makes a refreshing change - I shall certainly pass on any pearls of wisdom or quotes with uplifting stats!!

Now, can anyone empathise with me here - I bumped into someone I went to NCT with (most of whom all have a second child now of course and I am naturally VERY happy for them and not bitter at all) and she asked me how I was feeling (as she knew about my mc's) and if I was still thinking of ttc (this was all in the middle of the street btw and 2m apart so a fairly loud conversation!) and when I said I wasn't sure and we would see, she quipped flippantly "Why don't you just get a dog?" Now ladies, I don't know about you but I just wanted to punch her square in the nose. If I didn't have to stand 2m away I may well have done so! However, I took some internal breaths and said "I don't mind changing nappies but I don't want to be picking dog poo up off the ground for the next 10 or so years thank you." Honestly, I think that actually made me more determined to keep trying, so perhaps it was fate We shall see...

Hi @41FerrisWheels thanks so much for asking how I was a few weeks ago. I came away from mumsnet for a while... but I did read your message and was really appreciative.

Ups and downs here. Somedays I think- I can do this. Somedays I think- what will be will be. Somedays I think- I really can’t see this working.

Please let us know if there are any gems in that book. I think we pretty much know the right things to do- but the researching makes one feel better.

Trying to be positive....

Hello Everyone - how are we all doing?? Hopefully you're all enjoying that new legal high of...being able to go into each other's gardens! My DS is certainly happy he can have his little mates over now and I'm not making him go on yet another 'adventure' which, even at 4, he is now fully clued up that it's just a long walk.
No exciting baby news here as AF arrived yesterday (at the same time as the full moon - not sure if that's relevant or not!) so get a few days off the rollercoaster of ttc - I am DEFINITELY going to do SMEP this time, I only have 3 months left before I officially give up move on! Honestly ladies, I am a proverbial yo-yo on this, I get the fear that it's too risky to keep trying and could I face another mc or having to TFMR and decide I should just stay as our triangle and make the most of it...then my MIL sends me a video of my DS when he was 1 being utterly cute and my heart melts and I'm back at Square 1. Anyway, that's my rant for today!
How is everyone else feeling? Positive I hope! I will start that book tonight, Right Time Baby...that should get me back in my positive ttc mindset ready for next week...only two weeks until I'm 42, I'll have to change my username!

Thanks @Jem1979 for starting this thread and for staying in touch. It's inspiring that you're pregnant and doing well. Wishing you an easy second pregnancy .

@41FerrisWheels I love how you opened the conversation up with your son. I am dreading the same conversation with my daughter when it comes, but it's good to remember that they see things very differently to us. Nicely done.

So I read It Starts with the Egg very quickly - it's certainly a persuasive read. My new plan is to start the OPKs for a month or two and then decide whether to fork out for the expensive supplements. My diet is already quite close to the one recommended, except for my love of sweet things... not quite ready to completely eradicate...

I hope everyone is doing well. Have a good week wherever you are with your TTC journey.

Thanks @Jem1979 i forgot about my triangle analogy!! So I asked him a bit more about his sudden request and it turns out he really wants his friends over to play, essentially he wants another 4 year old not a baby to play with! This year has been tough on our little ones and although mine is at nursery, he says he really wants to have friends at the house to play cars with...so at least we got to the bottom of it and once the lockdown is over he can have his pals over again-woohoo! Also @Jem1979 how are you feeling?? So happy for you and glad you’re still here cheering the rest of us on!!

@gizmo167 good luck, hope you get some sleep tonight! It’s so bloomin nervewracking the day/night before test day and ironically the day we could all do with a relaxing beverage!!!

Testing tomorrow, cd35 so officially longest cycle in 8 years! I know it's not going to be positive but least I'll know the 2nd mc has buggered my cycles!

Hi @Jem1979 yes sunny here so I am going to get outside as didn’t leave the house yesterday! Not good for the headspace Hope you have a good weekend too x

So for the first time ever my 4 1/2 yr old gets into bed with me this morning and out of nowhere says “I wish I had a brother” I had just started getting my head around being a family of 3 and feeling ok if we don’t get pregnant by the summer as it’s been 3+ yrs of ttc and 4 mc’s and that just put me right back, I asked him why and he said “because it’s just you, me and Daddy and I want someone else to live here with us” So bit of a head wrecker this morning but at least when he’s a bit older I can explain that I did try, so hard...any ideas what I can say to him if he asks again would be much appreciated, he might never mention it again but it could well be something he now asks about every day...

@gizmo167 I totally get it - I would probably do the same, good luck!! xx

Thanks for the reply @41FerrisWheels, no hun I havent tested yet! Terrified to, last time after the mc AF arrived CD34 and I've convinced myself she will show! Also my thinking atm is that if I dont test then I still have that tiny little bit of hope, sad arent I ! I will test though at weekend if there is any need! I just think if it were positive then I'd feel something!

@Cashewcookie how you feeling today? Sending lots of empathetic hugs as I know just how you feel. Hope you're OK x

@gizmo167 my AF's went out of sync after my mc's for a couple of months but shorter, did you say you'd done a test just in case??

Hello to everyone else, hope you're all OK and having a good week wherever in your cycle you are! CD15 for me so in the no mans land of waiting to see what's going to happen this month...

Morning all xx

Aw girls I just dont know, CD33 and still no signs of AF. I feel a little more crampy last couple of days but no spotting, which I normally would have before AF and my boobs are fine apart from the area below the nipple which is sore to touch, weird!!! First AF following my first MC was on CD34 so guessing it will show in a day or two!