TTC after miscarriage

Thanks AmyFr. That sounds really sucky. Hopefully it lets up soon!

I think what’s hard with TTC is that it’s constant, it’s something that’s always going on in the back of your mind, even when you’re trying to not think about it. It’s just an extra drag on your mind.

With the visit, the ACU also hs a very particular smell so it triggers memories as soon as you walk in.

@Absy sending you virtual hugs. I think with any trauma, reminders will be hard. They kind of sneak up on you. Give yourself time to grieve. It’s so so hard.

I’m having a rough day but my period is heavy, there’s other general life stress, and I feel very close to the point of just too overwhelmed. I’m sure it is normal. Miscarriage and TTC sucks.

🤗 Hang in there.

I had to go back to the ACU this afternoon to have blood tests, and it was weirdly emotional. I didn’t expect that at all. I had the blood tests in the recovery room, and I was sat opposite the bed I had been in to recover from egg retrieval and it all just hit me again. I’ve been relatively ok for days. I didn’t expect that at all.

@Absy @AmyFr @CookieMonster3001 Thanks girls - yeah will wait and test again in a couple of days (or tomorrow as I know what I'm like) and I might try and pick up a red dye test too. Not getting my hopes up though. Nice to hear I'm not the only one - it's so bizarre! I know I envy the girls that don't seem to obsess - I couldn't imagine just 'seeing what happens'!!

@SG121 i also had the same thing this month. I used easy@home hcg tests and afterwards found out that they are super bad for evap lines. 10DPO it was stark white neg and when I looked back at it an hour later there was a line. I took a test 11dpo 12dpo and 13dpo and all of them had the exact same line. Having said that, I had super faint line the month I got my bFP. Did the line come up within the timeframe? If it did, theres a likely hood its positive (fingers crossed!!) If like me it came up after the timeframe then its most likely an evap. Do keep us informed!! Fingers crossed for you lovely.

@Absy thata crazy I dont think I could ever be that ignorant too!! My old manager messaged me and told me she was pregnant. She had always said she never wanted kids and she said she managed to get pregnant by accident!! I mean I know it happens but it was a lil stab in the heart when she told me!

@SG121 I went through this too this month and it was negative. However, I also have had the faint lines where I wasn’t sure and it turned out to be positive! I feel for you. I hate faint lines / evap lines, especially when you are so hopeful. I am a bit dubious of clear blue as I’ve had a bad evap line from them before (which was 100% negative on other brands) so I always try to use a pink dye now. Perhaps pick up one if it’s still not clear? Sorry, that’s not helpful! I would try a FRER if you can get one. I will have my fingers crossed for you! Hopefully it is the start of a BFP!

@Absy oh gosh! I know! I can’t ever “see what happens!” I temp and use OPKs 😂 if only!

@CookieMonster3001 ooh the cookies sound amazing! And the supplements sound good too - fingers crossed for you! And fingers crossed February is an amazing month!

For the symptoms, I read guidance from an OBGYN that it can be very hard to say for sure during the 2WW (which I took to mean - just try and chill) and often PMS / pregnancy symptoms can be very similar.

Maybe wait a day or two and test again? Hopefully it’s a BFP! If you’re 11 DPO it is still relatively early, so HCG levels could be low and harder to detect.

@CookieMonster3001that's great that you're feeling relaxed and stay positive for this month! I'm crossing my fingers for you.

So something weird happened this afternoon. I tested on Sat (9dpo) and it was a BFN and then I tested again today (I dread to think of the amount of money I've spent on tests since TTC!!) so today I'm 11 dpo but I tested in the afternoon and I swore there was a really really really faint line? Nothing like what I had the first time and then I've googled and found out about evaporation lines on pregnancy tests so am thinking this must be that?! It's a squinter but hubby said he could see what I was talking about (so I know I'm not completely mad LOL) I've got typical PMS symptoms (not the same as when I conceived) so am pretty certain AF will be coming so this tiny line has confused me - it's a clear blue test and the test line isn't really blue so from what I've read it could definitely be an evaporation line (which I had no idea even existed?) I'm trying really hard not to get my hopes up I will test tomorrow first thing but now this has confused me even more and I'm scared that if it's a BFN tomorrow (which it most likely is) I'll be even more upset?
Has anyone else experienced this?

I have a friend who gave birth recently, and when she was overdue she was telling me that she doesn’t really know when she conceived as she doesn’t really track her cycles or anything. I would LOVE to be that ignorant of it. And able to conceive that easily. Oh well.

@amyFr the cookies were delicious! Proper new york style soft chewy cookies! Had a few too many! I am sorry AF showed up. Here is to this month! Mine has finished now but still seem to be spotting over the last two days. Planning on starting the OPK testing on Thursday. Picked up some Zinc supplement for OH as well. He reckons since Covid his testosterone has dropped as he hasnt been going to the gym and so hoping that the zinc helps with that!

@sg121 welcome to the group and so sorry to hear about your miscarriage. I do was so glad I wasnt the only one feeling the way I was and it defo made enduring it a little easier when you have someone to talk to going through a similar circumstance. 10DPO is still early, so fingers crossed for you.

@rbcoxie fingers crossed for you as well, like I said 10DPO is still early! I never got my BFP last time until 11DPO. You are 100% right, we will get our rainbow babies!

@NS15 I am so sorry about your miscarriage. I understand how difficult it is trying to recover from it but just take the time you need! I agree with Amy that the best time to DTD is usually the day of ovulation and the day before, so I would suggest DTD maybe 13th/14th/15th. I track my ovulation and my BBT so I know exactly when I ovulate, and even then I still dont catch the egg so it is very much luck!

I am feeling quite relaxed this month so far (she says, its only CD5!) But in the back of my mind, I feel quite positive about this month and I really feel like Feb might be the one for quite a few of us! Fingers crossed for us all xx

@AmyFr Thanks for your reply. I have not used ovulation kits. Thinking of giving it a try this month. Fingers crossed.

@AmyFr Sorry that this month wasn't your month - yes at least you can stop wondering now and at least your cycles seem to be back to normal. Eat a load of chocolate now!! Reading and having the support off you girls has really helped me so thank you x

@Absy Thank you so much - yes I've read that too - the EPU gave me some leaflets to take home and they suggested that it can be easier too - I think that's why it was even harder to see the BFN because I'd convinced myself I would fall again straight away. 11dpo today and going to wait until either AF or test again after 14dpo - but not getting my hopes up as symptoms don't seem to be the same as when I did conceive. Hopefully your cycle settles soon! Sending love x

@NS15 I am really sorry to hear about your loss. I am also waiting for AF and I'd be due in 3 days too and I am feeling PMS symptoms. Same as Amy suggested - are you using OPKs? I use clear blue and that always seems to work for me. It is difficult when you feel like you haven't conceived the first month after a loss when you TTC again - trust me I feel like this right now!! Again I agree with Amy, I do think it's luck. I wasn't expecting to catch the month I did but now after a loss and knowing it's possible I am expecting a BFP so to not have it is upsetting. I hadn't commented on anything like this before but this thread in particular and commenting has really helped me this month so hopefully it's helped you in some way x

@NS15 I’m sorry to hear about your miscarriage and experience, as well as imminent AF. Be gentle with yourself; it is so difficult emotionally TTC after a loss.

From a cycle point of view, are you tracking ovulation with LH tests, or temping? It might be that if you ovulated slightly later, you missed the window. The best day to DTD is the day before you ovulate too, so CD 13 or 14, which might help if you’re sure of when you ovulate.
I think so much of it comes down to luck. Our timing was right and we didn’t catch. It’s hard. 🤗

Hi, Really sorry to jump on this post very late. This is the first time I am posting in a forum like this. I had my miscarriage in October 2020. I was 9 weeks when I got heavy bleeding and found out baby had only 6 weeks growth. Absolutely devastated. This is my second baby and I’m trying after 6 years. EPU told me to wait for one period and TTC later. I wanted to feel emotionally better so I left november and december. I am TTC this month and 3 days left for my period, i’m getting bright red blood. So probably i am going to get AF.

I normally have a 28 days cycle and I think I ovulate around 14th or 15th day. I tried on 9th and 11th day. I cannot understand why I didn’t conceive. Any advice is greatly appreciated. Thanks.

Hi SG121

So sorry to hear about the miscarriage and the BFN. If it makes you feel better, I had a call with our fertility consultant a couple of weeks ago, and I asked him if it can be easier to conceive after a miscarriage, and he said yes. I should start ovulating soon. I’ve had some spotting which I’ve never had in my life, so I spoke to the GP who said it can take a couple of months for the cycle to settle down.

AF arrived today, finally! Feels like a rubbish one, but at least it is here and there’s no “what if?” 😞 onto February! I think I ovulate on the 16th...

Hope you ladies are ok today.

@RBCoxie I am so sorry to hear that - I definitely agree it puts so much pressure on ourselves and you read that many people become pregnant straight after and I personally know a couple of people who did so to be brought back to negative tests again is really rubbish. It doesn’t help that PMS and early pregnancy symptoms are so similar! I had a good day today though too - went out and enjoyed the snow! It’s hard to not be obsessed so to have a good day is fab and we definitely will get there - thank you for replying x
@AmyFr it is really rubbish isn’t it- sorry you felt the same. I felt like I was okay until I had the negative test yesterday and then I was brought back to it all. I 100% agree that the desire to be pregnant is stronger after knowing you can - I feel even more desperate than I did before because I know my body can and I definitely feel a sense of loss. Thank you for replying x

@SG121 Thinking of you. I felt like you on Thursday. It is so hard. Be kind to yourself. 10DPO is still early too - and if you tested yesterday it is so early either way. I do know what you mean too about the relief of a negative afterwards. So strange.

This period of time after MC is crap. I cried a lot on Thursday. I think the desire to be pregnant is just so much stronger when you have that sense of what you have lost, and know it is possible too.

@RBCoxie Sorry to hear your experience too. I’m so sorry. Be kind to yourself today. Know 10DPO is early too. 🤗

I have just started a little bit of spotting so I think this is my AF now... onwards and upwards!

@SG121 hey! I'm so sorry for what you're going through. Just wanted to say I'm in a very similar situation so you are certainly not alone. I had a MC at 13 weeks early Jan (and also told most friends and family!) and was given the same advice by the EPU - it all happened quickly for me so we tried again after a negative test instead. I'm also 10DPO today and no sign of a BFP either which I'm finding difficult. I also feel like I'm reliving the miscarriage and so it's a difficult day. I'm writing today off - we're getting some nice food in and having a very relaxing day. I thought it was our month too and I feel like that's naturally put a lot of pressure on us. We will get there - we will have our rainbow babies 🌈 x

Hi everyone,
Sorry to jump on the post really late. Never posted on anything like this before but I wanted to say how reassuring and nice it was to read through all your comments and realise I’m not alone.
I had a MC at just over 5 weeks early January. It took us 10 months to conceive and with excitement we’d told most family and friends so to then go on to miscarry was absolutely devastating. I was told to wait until after my first period to try again by the EPU but I waited until I had a negative pregnancy test ( was so reassuring to hear some of you say you were relieved to see a negative it’s such a strange feeling to want a negative for once and then I felt sad that I got it even though it was a good thing? ) I then ovulated on day 14 and am now 10 dpo. Took a test yesterday and it was a BFN and I was crying and really upset. I feel like I’m reliving the MC all over again and like lots of you I really thought I could fall again straight away. I know it’s still early but I don’t think this month is my month. Sorry to ramble but just wanted to say how nice it is to hear people going through exactly what I am and know that I’m not alone. Sending you all lots of positivity and thank you x

@lamby12 That’s a lot of vitamins! I think you’re right; staying in the headspace of getting on with things is all you can do. Be kind to yourself too if you have a wobble. Waiting - for consultant, AF, all of it - is difficult. It seems to be made up of waiting.

@CookieMonster3001 enjoy the cookies! I love how thematic that is with your username! I know what you mean with ovulating late - you do get a bit exhausted 😂

I’m going for a wet walk with my friend to pick up some glasses from specsavers 👓 something a little bit different! 😂

@lamby12 so lovely to hear from you. I am so sorry to hear about ur results. I have to admit I do not know much about AMH but hopefully further appointments and support from the specialist can help. I have heard about coQ-10 being really good for eggs but I think its more quality of egg rather than quantity like vit D. And whilst this is terrible to say as you are still grieving, you can still get pregnant which is a positive!
I 100% understand what you mean about lockdown making it worse, i feel like I am constantly thinking about TTC, but I have decided this month I am really going to try hard to not think too much about it and focus on other stuff. I have started reading more these last couple of days which has helped as usually before bed id be on my phone googling all sorts of things, now i am trying to avoid it.

@AmyFr 🤞 i do ovulate my normal time, but not worried too much if i dont, its just the idea of having to continue dtd regularly until we hit that peak and the longer it drags out the harder it becomes to doing it!! Who knows our TWW might end up overlapping!

Got into doing some baking recently which has kept me occupied on the weekend. Planning on making some cookies today with OH as a treat for dessert!

@lamby12 I’m so sorry to hear all of this. It must be incredibly stressful. I suppose it is hard to wait, but see what the consultant says as other factors may be more important. I did a brief search to find out what AMH stood for and did see something that said vitamin D can help increase levels. Perhaps get some to go with your vitamins. Hang in there until you speak to the consultant. It is clearly not impossible for you to get pregnant without IVF too, and the consultant may have other ideas or things to recommend. Sending you a big hug. Be kind to yourself.

I’ve still not got my AF (due yesterday). Feels like it is imminent. Tortured myself with internet cheapie tests and line eyes but I know there’s nothing there. I just want my period so I can move on to next month. I think this one will be bad as I’ve had awful back ache with pms. Hopefully today. I hate having a bit of hope / delusion. I think having the miscarriage has made me so desperate to just be pregnant that being late isn’t helping. 🤦‍♀️ I was really upset Thursday but I had accepted it. Hurry up now!

@CookieMonster3001 I normally ovulate day 17 ish so I am currently looking at mid February - you will be almost done with your TWW! Fingers crossed your cycle is normal for you this month! Glad AF wasn’t too bad as well, and that it’s almost over for you.

Hope you ladies are doing something nice for you today. I really think lockdown makes all of this so much harder as it is so much easier to obsess!