TTC after miscarriage

So ive just came on the phone with my doctor, shes lovely and been my doc for 20 years. So they have cancelled my smear but need it done soon after birth as i had abnormal cells on my smear this time last year. Also i asked her about aspirin, told her i had been taking now for a week and she told me not to as they only tell women who have the following: high BMI, previous misscarriages from about 12 weeks plus, suffer with anything to do with blood clots or anything similar and over 40. she said the ones i have taken wont do any harm and just stick to folic acid and a healthy diet including a lot of vitamin c. told her i had no AF in between and she was said, said 'things like this happen all the time and nothing to worry about' I have now got to ring the midwife to start my referral. xx

@Emmav2020 congratulations! I think also mention you didn’t have a negative after the mc as that might mean they are more inclined to scan you too! Good luck!

@lamby12 that sounds fab about the business and you focusing on your own interests! Well done!

Re: the age gap, I wanted roughly a three year gap simply for affordability with nursery. We can’t afford for me not to work but couldn’t afford for me to work if I had a baby before funding kicks in for my daughter. I am conscious of the gap, but I’m not overly worried yet as it fits with my ideas at the moment. It must be hard when it doesn’t fit with your plans and ideas though. My brother and I are three years apart so that always struck me as a good gap...

Hope you ladies are doing well! I’m live streaming construction noise into my pupils’ houses today. It is SO LOUD round here!

Do let us know how you get on, Emma!

@Emmav2020 thank you. I'm in a similar position although no bfp yet.

I had surgical management of mmc on 21st Jan. Meant to wait to dtd but it just happened and we've carried on
My problem is, preg tests are still positive from mmc so I have no idea if it's possible to ovulate with hcg still in your system and I can't tell if its a new pregnancy!
I hope you can try to relax and enjoy being pregnant but I can imagine you must be a bag of nerves

@Applecrumble24 heyy thank you. Yes so i had mc early jan, no not had AF. I was going to wait till i did but then i had a few drinks the weekend after the bleeding stopped and one thing lead to another and then thought sod it what happens, happens. I had quite a few twinges on 28th and 29th jan so i think o ovulated then. xx

@SG121 thank you. Im in Manchester. so ive rang the docs, spoke to receptionist and the doc will ring me at some point today. I spoke to her 2 weeks ago she rang to see how i was. Yes i will definitely let them know ive not had a period. Def going to push for an early scan.

@CookieMonster3001 thank you. yes i will try for an early scan.

Im so scared, i dont even feel excited. its annoying previous pregnancies haven't ended well and it ruins it for the future. x

@Emmav2020 congratulations !
sorry if I missed your story further up but am I right that you didn't wait for af after mc before ttc? Did you have a natural mc? Do you know when you ovulated?

@Emmav2020 fantastic news!! Congratulations! I would defo cancel your smear test and just let the dr's know. I know when I fall pregnant again, I am defo going to want an early scan so cant hurt to ask :)

@lamby12 that's good, Monday isn't too far away! Back in the TWW again and it already feels draining lol. I honestly hate wishing my life away! Going to try and stay positive and not think too much about it.

@Emmav2020 massive congratulations! Where in the UK are you? I rang my doctors and I had to fill in a form which goes to midwives ( make sure you let them know that you haven’t had a period in between ) as my midwife rang me yesterday for dating purposes because I hadn’t bled in between. I tried to push for an early scan but they said unless I’m bleeding or have pain I’ll have to wait until 12 weeks. I’m South Wales so it might be different where you are. Try and relax! I did a digital test this morning and it said 3+ so I’m happy and trying to stay positive x

So ladies this is what ive just got now :)
What shall i do now, ring the docs, cancel my smear tomorrow and ask for some bloods and try and push for an early scan? X

@AmyFr @SG121 im going to hold out till tomorrow morning. Ill let you know anyway soon as i do it. Ive been tired a lot earlier at night but cant decide whether its becuase ive done nothing all day and no motivatiin if you get me?! Xx

@Emmav2020 thank you so much! I took a test 8 dpo (way too early) and it was a negative and then tested 11dpo and had my BFP.. took the digital test too which told me I was right with timings etc so I'm now 4weeks 4days so still really early. I'm the same as Amy I would say tomorrow first thing but I'm too impatient and would do one tonight and one tomorrow just try not to drink loads before if you do one tonight! Fingers and toes crossed for you x
@AmyFr that is lovely timing that you had with your daughter - before I even thought about TTC I was always wishing for a Sept-Dec baby but now after TTC I didn't even care but as a teacher the timings are more convenient. It's okay I'm glad to not be in school because of the risks but I'm finding online learning hard now- hard for me and hard for the parents! First lockdown I had so much motivation and loved online learning but this time around I'm just a bit fed up. We don't have to do live lessons so it's just setting work. How are you finding it? Must be more tricky with your daughter at home? I've got my fingers crossed for you for November and it's fab that you're feeling better today - sending lots of love to you x

@AmyFr @SG121 i have so much more respect for you teachers. I have an 11 year old son in year 6 and hes testing me at the moment. Wish it could all go bacj to normal now.

I really couldnt face tracking everything, esp with my son at home, me working 5 hours a day at home, on top of the misscarriage aswell my company were making redundancies aswell. X

@Emmav2020 I know I always say I will test in the morning but never have the willpower. Perhaps do a long hold, unless you feel you can wait. The morning will be most accurate either way, so I know I would probably do both 🤦‍♀️ but I am too impatient always. Even for bad news it seems as I took one after my mc too early too 🤦‍♀️

@SG121 oh that’s good! Yes, I always find I am online more when I’m stressed / anxious so it is good you’re not on! Although do share the positives too.

I had my daughter October 2018 (due September but she was two weeks overdue) and it was great timing. I went back for the inset days in September before I started maternity to wrap up results, etc l and then I did the same at the very end of term in the summer to end maternity. In hindsight, I should have gone longer in September as I got bored waiting around, but I was convinced she would be early... I was so thrilled to have another September baby for number two; sadly, it wasn’t to be. Fingers crossed for November now....
I teach English at secondary school, mostly teaching Years 9-13. How are you coping currently with lockdown in primary?

Do share the positives as they come. Hopefully we will join you soon with a lucky month! I feel a bit more optimistic today... 🤞

And good luck @Emmav2020 I think your approach makes so much sense. It is such an exhausting rollercoaster of emotions trying to conceive and that’s without loss on top.

Quick question, shall i test tonight when there delivered or first thing in the morning?xx

@SG121 omg huge congratulations. When did you find out? We have dtd quite a bit since mc bleeding stopped so must have done it around ovulation at least. I can nirmally tell as my sex drive goes up quite a bit. I have everything crossed for you xx

@Emmav2020 yeah BFP! We decided to just try this month and I tracked my ovulation so I know I ovulated around 2 weeks after I finished bleeding so it’s definitely worth testing. My friend miscarried last year but it took her cycles longer to get back to normal and she didn’t have a period for about 8 weeks x

@SG121 positive pregnancy test? No not been tracking, i just couldnt face peeing in sticks again and tracking it all. Had no motivation at all the last month, lockdown isnt helping. We just kind of if it happens it happens. X

@AmyFr hello lovely sorry I haven't been on here in a while. All ok here - I'm trying to relax and think positive - I don't feel so nervous this time around though which is nice. How are you doing? I've read through previous posts and saw you're a teacher? Me too! So I definitely get the timing thing. Are you primary or high? I'm in year 4 x
@Emmav2020 I would definitely test - I finished mc bleeding around the same time as you and I had a positive test last week. Were you tracking your ovulation days? X

@CookieMonster3001 that sounds like a good book to read now.

And OPK timing is still fab so I wouldn’t worry! I always get two days.

@Emmav2020 hope you get on ok. @dippyegg32 that is so long. I felt like two weeks was an age.

@SG121 how are you getting on? Thinking of you too and have fingers crossed all is well.

@Emmav2020 i has ERCP on 7th December, it took until 16th jan to get a negative test and then a period on 23rd jan. felt like an absolute age

@AmyFr @CookieMonster3001 Ive ordered some first response tests from amazon to come today. Ni i never took a text for a nagative after the misscarriage. To be honest i dont think i could do any more tests. by then i was sick of peeing on sticks, blood tests and scans. its been over a months now since the bleeding and there are no signs of AF coming at all. will let you know how i got on x

@Emmav2020 I would defo test just to be sure!

@Absy that is a hard decision! do you know what the mat package is like in this new role? Also you have to decide how much you currently hate the role you are in! I would apply for it and see how it goes! If you get it, then you can think about the pro's and con's before you accept or decline, but if you don't apply, you wont know!

@AmyFr glad you are feeling better, I know what you mean, just being able to openly talk about how we are feeling has defo made me feel better as I feel like I have no one other than OH to talk about in real life and keeping it in me was tearing me apart! Everyone is going through a tough time at the moment for one reason or another and lockdown certainly isn't helping!

The book I read was Good Vibes Good Life by Vex King, he talks about how we are all surrounded by vibrations and we attract good or bad things depending on whether we are omitting positive or negative vibrations. He basically says if we think positive, we are more likely to receive positive outcomes and visa versa, he also talks about how to deal with certain situation and how to feel good about yourself. I would defo recommend it.

I got another positive OPK yesterday too, was darker than Sundays so now I am a little confused about my ovulation day...this morning my OPK was still dark, but not positive. Prior to MC my LH surges were always really short, they used to come and go in one day, so its the first time its gone on for this long! We DTD Sat, Sun and Mon and I am hoping I ovulated yesterday or maybe this morning? Don't have any more energy to BD anymore, so its going to have to do! Fingers crossed.

@CookieMonster3001 yay to peak OPK! I hope the TWW goes quickly for you. Optimism can’t hurt. I am hopeful this month too - not fertile until Wednesday at the earliest and due to ovulate next Monday...

What book did you read?

@Absy that’s so difficult to decide. Nothing stops you going for it to see how you feel - it can’t hurt to see if you will like the new role, people, etc, and you might find out some of this in an interview. I guess the thing to think is if you do conceive, what will it do to you financially with maternity? If you can afford to take the hit and survive even if you didn’t get your current maternity package, it might be worth it.

@Emmav2020 I think I would test - did you have a negative result after your loss? If it isn’t positive, it might be the hormones took a while to come down so your cycle isn’t completely on time. It hasn’t been a huge amount of time for everything to regulate. Hope you find answers soon!

I am doing a bit better thanks - actually owning that I am not ok and that it is ok to be sad has helped me. I feel very fragile though. But then most people I speak to seem fragile currently!