First Fertility Clinic Appointment Tomorrow

@Kitekat81 jeepers I can see why that appointment would have been emotional but in a way I'm glad they didn't mess you about and instead put you on a clear path of what needs doing.

I gotta ask as well - did they weigh you in front of OH?? That's my big fear about this appointment (I know lol, please don't laugh) as I'm a lot heavier than I'd like to be and my OH is blissfully unaware of how much I actually weigh 🙊

Two weeks left until my appointment, I promise to keep you all updated.

@dogmam i have had a look at the referral paperwork and its quite underwhelming! I was expecting a referral to a fertility clinic as such. But after a google search about the hospitals they are gynae clinics only? Maybe Ive missed something, please tell me if I am going mad?
One does offer the basic fertility investigations as in TV scans for lining thickness, Hycosy and bloods and semen analysis. All of the above we have had done minus the Hycosy.
But I think thats all that they offer?

I need to phone to book anyway so I will call and discuss with them. Its been so hard to get time to call. Work has been super busy, ive not finished on time for the last week and when I get round to calling the reception is closed.
DH has said wait til the end of this cycle and then book if no joy. The end of my cycle isnt far off to be fair so Im happy to do that. Think he wants to see if anything happens this month. I think we timed it better, poss not perfect but what is perfect 🤷‍♀️
Currently 6DPO and honestly feeling out of sorts.

@dogmam thank you, I'm feeling ok. You're right that the appointment was really good in that I came away with a lot of information, and a clear plan. I've booked a private HyCoSy for next month, and I decided to book an AMH blood test for the same day as that's the last test I haven't had. Am worried about that one as it gives an indication of how good a candidate I would be for IVF, and my borderline FSH and low follicle count doesn't bode well for that. But I'll try not to worry too much in advance, just have to wait and see. That's great you've got your appointment letters! The scan was absolutely fine, it's an unusual sensation but not uncomfortable at all, less uncomfortable than a smear test.

@itssquidstella that's wonderful, cautious congratulations to you! How long have you been trying? Will this be your first baby?

@dogmam I'm 5w3d pregnant today, second cycle after the procedure. I'm not sure the two are related, as my tubes were clear so don't know if there was anything to 'flush out', but it's a happy coincidence (although still v early days so am being quite circumspect given previous losses)!

@Flutterby8 that sounds like you should be ok then? Don't worry too much, just wait and see what they say at your appointment. And it might take a while until you get your appointment, so you have a bit of time to see if you can bring your BMI down a bit before then 😊

@itssquidstella thanks for popping in and that's good news about not needing to abstain for the HyCoSy. The first clinic I've got a quote from said I would need to abstain for a month before the test, but that seems excessive. Everywhere else I've read says just abstain from the start of the cycle.

Just popping on to say that you don't need to abstain for a whole cycle when you have the HyCoSy (I had one in early November).

It needs to be done after you've finished bleeding, and you can't have sex from the start of your period until you have the procedure done. However, if you book it for the week or so between the end of your period and when you're due to ovulate (assuming your cycles are reasonably regular), then there's no reason why you can't TTC once you've had the procedure.

@Kitekat81 yes I am in that range. The higher end but yes, within it.

@Flutterby8 the paperwork they gave me at the hospital said that BMI should be between 18.5 and 30. Do you think you'll be in that range?x

@Kitekat81 glad you're looking at things in a positive light today. Its so hard to feel beaten up by all of this.
Hopefully your bloods will come back normal your tubes will be OK when you get them checked. Although if they are blocked it gives a quick answer and a quick fix as well which will be a win win for you! I'll keep fingers crossed.

After my repeat 21 day bloods and chat with the gp she said about referral.
I received a letter 3 days later asking me to book an appointment at one of two hospitals. Neither of which I thought did any kind of fertility work? I'll have to look that up as they're literally my local 2 hospitals. I'm confused.
Either way, I haven't completed the paperwork yet. It made me feel really nervous to be honest. I've read alot about people being turned away from fertility clinics if their BMI is too high etc. I know mine is high. I'm not obese. I need to lose weight but a previous injury makes it hard to exercise. I'm making a conscious effort to eat better but I think I'm now worried we will be told I'm too fat to be eligible.
I know I need to just get over it and make the call to book but I guess its just real.

@Flutterby8 thank you 😊 Yes I am feeling a bit better about things today. I've been reading about low ovarian reserve and it doesn't necessarily reduce the chances of natural conception, as long as one egg is popping out every cycle then it's the egg quality rather than quantity that matters, and there are things I can do to help with egg quality. Bearing in mind that all our tests so far have come back ok-ish, and assuming the blood test they did on Thursday also comes back ok, the only thing left which might be preventing natural conception would be if my tubes were blocked, so that's why I'm keen to get the HSG/HyCoSy done asap to see where I stand there. I know 4 months isn't too long to wait, but as the doctor seemed to think that time is running out for us I'd rather pay to get that done sooner rather than later, it's £500 so not too bad. If they are completely blocked I know that we need to move to ivf asap. If they aren't, we'll keep trying naturally until the year mark in April but then start looking at ivf I think. I'm also looking into acupuncture and whether that might do anything to help me. Really wanting to throw everything at it over the next few months in a last ditch attempt to get pregnant naturally if we possibly can!

@dogmam my boss has been very suppprtive. She too had difficulties conceiving and was referred for her fertility worries. She was also the same age as me so I guess she can really relate. She had twins after Clomid. So far the apppointments ive been for have all luckily fallen when Ive had days off from work following our rota so no issues. I also have a very supportive managing director who will happily authorise time off if needed (not aware of our problems but would understand).

@Kitekat81 so glad you have had your appointment but sorry to hear its been a bit emotional. I guess AF hasnt helped that either.
It sounds like a really thorough consult though and I guess in a way, although they seemed to pin point your age, they did give some pointers of the next steps.
At least they were honest about the wait times with the NHS. 4 months doesnt sound like a long time to wait, but in the grand scheme of things, when youve been trying for a long time it really is.
Although a HSG doesnt promise it will work for everyone, its always good to have it done, and if you are able to go down the provate route then do it.
I can understand though how deflating it can be, especially if they just seemed to pick out your age as a disadvantage.
Lots of women now have children later in life, its not a shock anymore. Lots of women in their late 30's and early 40's go on to have happy and healthy children. Appreciated risks are higher, but there are risks with every pregnancy and people shouldnt be treated any differently in these situations.
I hope youre feeling a bit more positive today 😊

Hi ladies, sorry for my late update after my appointment yesterday. To be honest it was a bit of a sobering experience, lots of information to take in, and I've been feeling a bit emotional about it since. Doesn't help that af arrived today (fully expected as my bbt dropped, but always an emotional time).

So here's how it went. First of all a nurse took blood pressure, height and weight for me and my oh. Then we went through to see the doctor. She opened with "so I see you're 39..." . Can't remember her exact words, but my age was the main theme of the whole appointment. She wasn't unkind, just fairly blunt about it. She took us both through a checklist of questions (do I have regular cycles, cycle length, how long do I bleed, taking folic acid, smoking, drinking, drugs, STDs, medical conditions and medication, any operations, how often do we have sex, any problems with erections/ejaculation, how long have we been together etc). She went through my blood test results - my progesterone was good (57) so that's a good clear ovulation. FSH not great though - 10.7, when ideally should be below 10. It goes up as you approach menopause, and nothing can reverse it. She said it might have been lower if I'd had it a few days earlier (had mine on day 5). The nurse took another blood sample to measure TSH and check my thyroid, I'll get those results next Tuesday. There's another blood test you can get for AMH (to check ovarian reserve) but not available on NHS so would need to go private. Then I had a vaginal ultrasound scan (wasn't expecting it on the same day!) She said I had a good thick lining (11mm), but my follicle counts weren't great. 5 on one side, 1 on the other, so 6 in total. You need between 5 and 15, and it's not great to be at the lower end of that - my age again.

Then she said the only thing left to do is an HSG, and it's a 4 month waiting list for that. If the HSG identifies that both my tubes are blocked (would need to be both) then that would be an infertility diagnosis, and we would go on the waiting list for IVF - the waiting list is 10 months. If no blockages, it would be "unexplained infertility" and we would need to have tried for 2 years before we go on the waiting list. So if there is no diagnosis, 2 years trying plus 10 months waiting list would take us to January 2023 - when I will be 41.

The conversation was useful in some respects in that it's pretty clear now that going NHS is not an option for us. She was pretty open in saying that if we have the means, she would recommend we look into private ivf options, and really as soon as possible. I said should we at least try until April as that will be 1 year trying, she agreed but even seemed reluctant to recommend waiting that long. We suggested that we could start by trying to get the HSG done privately, and she thought that was a good idea. There is some evidence of women getting pregnant after an HSG because it flushes debris out of your tubes, so if that's the case for me I'd rather do it sooner than later. Even if it's not, it at least moves us forward on our journey a bit sooner than waiting 4 months to do it on the NHS.

So that's our next step. There have been quite a lot of tears today, not helped by af's arrival, plus one of my younger colleague's was showing me her new baby bump on our video call today; then my oh suggested we watch Friends to cheer me up, and of course it had to be the one where Rachel is about to have her baby and is freaking out as she doesn't know how to change a nappy (I would love to have that problem!) Am feeling very old, and less hopeful than I was two days ago that this is going to work out for us.

Sorry this is rather a depressing post, I really don't want to bring anyone else down with me! I think I just have cd1 blues, hopefully will be feeling more optimistic in a few days!

@dogmam ha well my Polish granny wears and amber necklace to help with her heart problems so that should tell you something about the type of things they believe in! I also had a Russian friend tell me to eat lots of ginger to get pregnant but eating lots of ginger is supposed to increase miscarriage risks lol! I'm due Sunday but tested with a cheapie this morning. Stark white as per usual so I'm waiting for cycle 14 to commence.

@dogmam sorry CD1 has turned up. It always feels like a disappointment. Have a glass of wine or 2 and think it's an new month which will hopefully be a lucky one!

I haven't told any of my family about what is occurring. I honestly have no idea how I would tell my mum to be honest! We're close but I don't feel I could talk about this and I don't know why.
DH's parents don't live near us and aren't really involved except the odd phone call. Theyre not aware either.

My boss is aware that we have been trying and that things haven't been going to plan. She knows we've had initial tests but that's it. I need someone in my workplace to be aware because I work in the medical sector and a large proportion of what I do can be risky so it's better to be safe than sorry.
I don't think I'd want to tell people if we have to go down the IVF route. I don't think I could deal with the questions. A friend went through IVF and she always wished she never told anyone as she just felt so incredibly under pressure. Alot of the time she just felt like a failure and people asking about it just upset her. She has 3 beautiful children now and doesn't regret anything except not keeping it private.

I'm 1 maybe 2 DPO today. Waiting for fertility friend to give me the crosshairs to confirm ovulation. Wanted to try the SMEP this month.
Absolutely no chance DH could do that. I just have to leave my OPK in the bathroom as a subtle hint at the moment to make him aware 😂

@dogmam actually for me it's more that my parents would have zero understanding of it. I'd get a lot of stupid comments like "just relax" and weird old wives tales from Eastern Europe from my mum. So I know I'd have very little patience for it. I can also see my dad making insensitive jokes about it and then when I don't react well to it it would be my fault for having no sense of humour. Lol my family are a mess though so there's no comparing if you have a lovely normal family!

And yes as my ovulation does vary month on month (CD11-17) it means I'm always stressing about starting our every other day BD too early and running the risk of OH running out of steam, or starting too late and only getting one round in before a sudden ovulation. Annoyingly I then often ovulate same day as my LH peak so I've had a few cycles where OH just refuses to BD on ovulation day as he's too tired. Feels like a constant balancing act!

How have you been today considering the witch arrived? Will you have some wine tonight perhaps?

@dogmam sorry to hear about CD1! Always a bore :( Quite a few of my friends know I'm over a year into TTC so they'd know all about my IVF as well. I just haven't told family as I'd find that super awkward. I think FIL and his wife suspect not all is right in our baby making dept though.

SMEP would kill OH! He's a BD once every 10 days kind of guy, but puts up with it during FW for the sake of baby making. E.g. I'm 10DPO now and haven't DTD since I was 1DPO lol - and I reckon he'll wait until the night before AF before remembering about his husbandly duties!

Its so nice to hear that all of us seem to be in very similar situations and all similar ages too. Its a lonely place when you dont know anyone else physically going through the same issues.

@Kitekat81 I felt the same as you, conscious about my age but didnt know when to ask for help. Because Id had bloods and scans (hormone bloods and pelvic scans but not for fertility) a couple of years ago I figured I was fine so booked DH a phone consult as I was convinced it was him 🤦🏼‍♀️ Turns out my progesterone is low and I felt a right wally! Luckily they have made the referral with very little effort from us so hopefully the appointment will come round quickly.

@Juno231 My mother had an early menopause too so I have been subconsciously worried about that for a while. Ive had bloods for hormone levels several times before and always been told theyre fine so have fingers crossed. Ive never had any symptoms of early menopause though which is a bonus! It is terrifying though!

@dogmam sounds like your cycles are quite regular so BBT prob wont confirm anything more for you.
I only do it because my cycle varies from month to month. Also it helps me know when AF is about to make an appearance as my temp always drops dramtically!
Ive just had my peak OPK for 48hours (clear blue digital) and still no temp spike. Seriously my cycles are a mess.

@dogmam Hm if you have regular cycles and get a peak around the same time each cycle then it sounds like you could give BBT a miss! Mine varies from CD11 to CD17 and OH is not very BD happy so I sort of need the BBT/OPK combo to make sure I don't make him touch me unnecessarily lol!

The one thing I would say is that BBT has made me realise that I usually ovulate same day as the peak so I need to make sure I BD in advance of the peak! I imagine others perhaps only BD on their peak day and forget that ovulation can be a few days later...

@Flutterby8 I think I'm on the younger end at 32. Am on cycle 13 but have been off the pill since Sep 2019. Mum and great grandmother both had early menopause at 30/31 so that was a concern for me which led me to get the ball rolling on tests in July 2020.

@Flutterby8 I'm 39 ttc#1, think I might be the oldest in this chat? I've been off the pill since September 2019 but properly trying since April 2020 so only 9 months properly trying, although it feels like forever! I've still a few months to go until we hit the 1 year mark so still really hoping I can conceive naturally 🤞🤞🤞 but each month that passes it feels less and less likely. It's hard as I know that because of my age it should take me longer to conceive naturally, but also each month that passes my chances of conceiving with intervention also get lower 😢 so getting the right balance between allowing enough time to conceive naturally and not putting off intervention for too long is going to be tricky. Really hoping that my fertility appointment will help with that decision, I think like everyone else I'm hoping for the magic solution but it's probably not going to be like that!

I do take my bbt and use OPK's, I also think I would find it more stressful not to do it, and I'm going to be thinking about ttc pretty much all the time anyway, so might as well do it with all the information! I know a lot of people use Clearblue opk's, I haven't tried them so can't comment, but I get on just fine with the Easy@home OPK's. They are really cheap so you can use them 2,3,4 times a day to find your peak, and you can see the lines yourself rather than having a machine read them, I'm not sure whether that would be more or less stressful though! 😄