First Fertility Clinic Appointment Tomorrow

However, if your GP can refer for IVF then that well worth pursuing!

@thislittlebird I went private. I decided to do it because the GP I was talking to at the time had said she would refer me, but she kept coming up with excuses like 'i'll do it next time we speak' and I thought... fuck this. They clearly have targets to not refer people to specialists or something, and at the time I hadn't ovulated for 3 x months and my cycles have been rubbish since I came of the pill, so I self referred.

So far I have paid £180 for the initial consultation and we have arranged for more tests to be done (I hadn't had many tests done before I self referred).

@thislittlebird not very helpful here but we're classed as unexplained. Only got it once all the tests bar lap were in though.

Hope your GP can do that referral for you but I totally get that you must be feeling defeated and downtrodden. Having to fight an uphill battle every step of the way is so so tiring...

@Juno231 tried to call the GP today and couldn’t get an appointment. Receptionist said I can speak to her next Thursday (weird system where one doc does half the week). The woman told us the GP can refer to IVF so I’m going to ask her, can we be referred to an ACU and why not? We have poor results and no one is testing us for anything else.

@CausingChaos2 welcome, btw! I absolutely think that’s what they’re doing. I’m getting older and more stressed and his sperm aren’t getting younger. I can’t just wait another year plus.

@dogmam I know. I’m a mess still tbh. How can they say we’re unexplained based on both having suboptimal results???? Once she heard I had high AMH she seemed to ignore everything else and just thought it was fine, as if egg reserve is the only factor. All these eggs mean bugger all just sitting in there on their own.

I’m so tired. I even got to a point of saying to my husband ‘maybe it’s a sign, maybe I should give up and it’s not meant for me’. Every step of the way we’ve had obstacles and no one who wants to help us.

What did all of you get classed as and why? I don’t understand how we’re unexplained when the only tests they’ve done on us have both had results below the parameters. A progesterone score of 10 and 9% motility seem like a bloody explanation to me. Isn’t unexplained all “normal” test results? It’s a joke.

I can’t remember if it’s @Kay00 or @causingchaos who are private. I will probably just go private in the next few months because I’ll be 38 this month, I can’t keep waiting. On the plus side, IF I have good eggs, I should produce a fair number of them, all being well.

@dogmam such a good point actually - it's only unexplained once they've exhausted the other tests!

@dogmam, not just yet as they said they will text me a link to an online portal to sign consent etc once they have final confirmation of funding

Three years is such a long time isn’t it thislittlebird I can’t help thinking it’s deliberately drawn out so people go private and fund themselves. I imagine the number of people who conceive in the third year after having already tried for two is minuscule.

I’m sorry you had to deal with such an idiot. It sounds like your appointment was just a tick box exercise to them.

@thislittlebird aaaah that is insane! I'm so sorry they've done this to you! Def chat to the gp and have a think about whether you can get a second opinion somehow? If going private then do check out Reprofit in Prague or one of the clinics in Copenhagen - they really do come out thousands of pounds cheaper with excellent reviews and results. They issue you with medical letters so you can fly despite covid restrictions so that's not a problem as well xxx

@PurpleUnicorn01 yeah, I’m not sure I could do that because I wouldn’t have the documentation. I’ll try my GP again tomorrow and see what she says.

@Juno231 she said we’re unexplained as far as she’s concerned so it’s THREE years, which is October 2022 since we’ve been trying officially since October 2019. I’m 38 this month, I’ll be on my way to 40 by then if they even accept us at that stage.

I can’t work out how we are unexplained. I think it’s pretty clear what the explanation is. They see he has low motility and they say that’s bad, then they say there’s no explanation because his count numbers are higher, it’s “not enough”. I’m not a good maths person but I’m sure he only has a few mil of decent swimmers when you take the poor quality ones out.

@CausingChaos2 yeah 3 here too, it makes me sick when I started trying at 36. Apparently there’s no age rush and because I have a high “excellent” AMH so they don’t care. What good is a high AMH without having IVF and possibly not ovulating? It’s craziness.

Most of our money is in the house but we have been saving for this outcome so we can go private. We just can’t go private for an unlimited number of rounds, you know? I’m hoping my AMH will produce a decent number of eggs but the quality remains to be seen. We saw a private consultant in Jan after I had some scans and they were MUCH more thorough than this old cow was. I can’t quite believe how little she asked us. She didn’t even ask if my husband smoked or if he had reasons that could explain his low motility. You think they’d have offered me clomid or letrozole since I have been sent here for low progesterone and uncertain ovulation 🙄

Sorry I’m new to the thread little so don’t know your history but I agree with Juno not to let this drop. A complaint is certainly in order about the doctors manner with you.

In my area you have to be trying for 3 years if you’re classed as ‘unexplained’ but you deserve to have your results looked into.

You shouldn’t have to, but if you can afford to go private, I don’t think it’s an expense you would regret. It makes me cross to be suggesting it, but IME the care has been much more attentive and prompt (although not speaking of fertility services here).

@thislittlebird this doesn't make sense though. You've been trying for how long now? and are what age? those factors alone should qualify you for assisted conception. Or is she saying you're falling into the unexplained category and will therefore have to wait 2 years? Cause I'm pretty sure that's not the case if you're over a certain age. I would complain again and this time about this doctor's manners as that is a huge part of their training and she's clearly failed catastrophically in being caring and empathetic.

@thislittlebird she registered at another surgery by her parents address which is in a different city. Then had her notes transferred over.

I’m so confused right now @Juno231. It was such a horrible experience and I keep sobbing. She didn’t ask us anything, no medical history etc. She clearly knew we’d complained to PALS and kept saying it wasn’t her fault, and how she didn’t want to hear about our GP. Didn’t even mention my low progesterone, and said his results didn’t count as “explained”. Well what does count as explained if a progesterone level of 10 and 9% motility doesn’t? I’m so upset.

I feel like we’ve got such a short straw at every stage through this process and I can’t see any positive outcome for us. It feels like everything is stacked against us.

I want to scream at them “why us???” Why do we have to be treated this way and others do not?

@PurpleUnicorn01 how did she go through a different borough?

@Kay00 we can go private but I really thought the nhs would class us as explained since we have low results. I don’t understand how that’s unexplained. The joke is my GP referred me to get help because she wasn’t sure I was ovulating and this asshole has just sent us back to the GP. Why did I waste months and months waiting for this pointless referral?

We contacted a private urologist last week but his secretary just stopped replying after the first email. I feel so lost right now.

@CausingChaos2 they just said we were unexplained so need to try for three years. I really don’t see how we are.

@thislittlebird I'm so sorry they were rubbish! how on earth do you not qualify - isn't your age alone a qualifier?! I know it's tough, tiring and not how it should be - but please don't give up and push back as soon as you pick yourself up.

@Kay00 I'm really pleased for you that you got the ball rolling

@CausingChaos2 a lap sounds like it would definitely be a good idea!

@PurpleUnicorn01 AMH is related to age as well so 6.1 could be good for one age and bad for another, which the nhs doesn't seem to take into account?

@thislittlebird i'm so sorry to hear that! That's utterly rubbish. Is it possible to approach a different fertility clinic? or even ask your GP is the will prescribe the progesterone for you to use in your LP?

For your OH you could try self referral to a Urologist... they are meant to be much better then the standard fertility clinics for male fertility: www.privatehealth.co.uk/doctors-and-health-professionals/urologist/

Littlebird That sounds awful, I’m so sorry. Can you ask for a second opinion from a different doctor? What did they say you didn’t meet the criteria for?

@thislittlebird. Im so sorry to hear that. My friend had the same issue. She just reapplied in a different borough. Maybe that could be an option. There's lots of people who can still help you. You just got a horrid Dr, theres many who can help you. Im sure of it x

I had an awful experience, I’m in bits. I’m sorry I’ve not read above yet, have been crying since the appointment.

No one wants to help us, they don’t want to know. Told us we don’t meet the criteria despite my very low progesterone and husband’s motility. Go away and take impryl (he’s already on it) and get some day 3 tests for me. I can join a “long waiting list” for a lap if I want.

I broke down in the doctor’s office, she was horrible. It broke me, I was so optimistic I was finally getting help but no, just more useless people and being told I don’t matter. I’m exhausted and can’t stop crying.

Hi Kay00 yes you’re right it’s hard to measure. The consultant did say that if the pain was manageable with things like ibuprofen or paracetamol he wouldn’t be offering the lap yet.

At the moment, I have to take codeine, mefenamic acid and paracetamol. Even then it’s totally debilitating and the first 1-2 days of my period are spent in bed unable to do anything. Strangely by day 3 I don’t need any painkillers. I’d really rather not have surgery but at the same time it probably does need investigating.

Oh I bet Purple and it must be even harder when you’re waiting for a date so in limbo land. Will be keeping my fingers crossed that you hear something soon and it all goes to plan.

@CausingChaos2 yes definitely mixed but mostly anxious. My AMH is 6.1 so worried about how many eggs il produce.

@kay00 yes mine has an annoyingly positive attitude lol. The 'don't worry, it will be fine' im thinking i can't not worry lol

@PurpleUnicorn01 thanks xx It really is great having these threads to discuss whats going on, I feel like it is all getting very technical now and my OH has no idea (he looked like he was going to fall asleep in the fertility appointment lol!)

@CausingChaos2 Interesting that they are looking to get you a LAP and HyCoSy so soon - good if they feel Endo might be causing your pain. I was asked about the level of pain I experience, I really feel like that's difficult to define! Its painful, but paracetamol helps.