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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Original poster

I genuinely dont think I'm ever going to get pregnant

28 replies

yellowbeaker · 28/12/2020 00:34

This month we did everything we should have. Sex like clockwork. My period was late so I thought I has my own little Christmas miracle. Been feeling rough. Sore boobs, nausea, tiredness etc... I really thought this is it!
I took a rest but it was negative so thought I would leave it a few more.days.

Just started bleeding. I'm so tired.of getting my hopes up that its finally my turn but it never happens. I feel so sad :-(

OP posts:
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MummyBearBoo · 30/12/2020 21:37

I lost 2 stone and got pregnant straight away following a year of nothing when I was overweight definitely think losing weight increases your chances! I know you can get pregnant when you're overweight but chances are lower and more chance of complications!!

Original poster
yellowbeaker · 30/12/2020 16:51

I have ovulation strips so I'll give them another go.

OP posts:
Original poster
yellowbeaker · 30/12/2020 16:48

I'm early 30s. I have 2 kids who are teenagers from a previous relationship.

I had tests done a while back. I think it was like a 3 day and a 21 day test to check my hormones. I'm trying to move gp surgeries but the one I want isnt taking new patients at the mo.
DP doesnt have any kids of his own but has said he doesn't want to go down the ivf route. We had a good chat last night and are both going to get focused on being more healthy so hopefully that will help things. I've been using the ovia app but might try flo instead if it's better.

I definitely need to lose weight and address my issues with food (I have some pretty bad habits when I get stressed and massively overeat) just feeling mega sad.

OP posts:
grey12 · 28/12/2020 11:26

Get ovulation strips cheap from internet and do them around your fertile window. My fertile window was 3 days before the app said Hmm (I naturally have 25 day cycle).

Also I remember reading you're not supposed to be doing IT everyday. Every other day or every 2 days is better so you get a higher count sperm.

santabaybee · 28/12/2020 05:19

@gypsywater it's ridiculous knowing that know. But at the time 4 months felt very very long and I was a lot younger and Unknowledgeable really. I had my first at 20 and really didn't think I would get pregnant fast which I did. So tried for second at 22 and everyone convinced me there was a problem. But despite having a child being young and only trying for a short time the doctor took me seriously, which isn't really normal these days. I'm only 30 but my friends starting families now are being fobbed off and have to wait years to even get glanced at x

gypsywater · 28/12/2020 04:03

Have you got any children already OP?

October2020 · 28/12/2020 04:00

You need to ask for a referral. Your weight needs to be below bmi 30 or 'obese' (but overweight is okay) for treatment so focus on that. You need to use OPKs. Getting pregnant doesn't come easy to many and you need to get serious about it if you really want it. I've just had my little girl through ivf and I literally tried everything from eating pineapple cores to insisting on gp referrals etc. If you want it, you need to grit your teeth and go for it.

And yes, for some people, that won't be enough and they won't ever get pregnant. They'll grieve, and then hopefully be differently happy. It helped me when I was ttc to remember that I could be okay without a baby. In fact, I read loads and loads of books and blogs and listened to podcasts from women who moved forward from infertility without the baby they tried so hard for. I hope it happens for you and I totally adore my daughter, but I would have been okay if it didn't. x

gypsywater · 28/12/2020 03:48

@santabaybee How come you went after just 4 months? That's not long at all surely when TTC? Or had you suspected there was an underlying problem?

gypsywater · 28/12/2020 03:47

Have you had any tests yet OP aside from your partner's SA? How about any tests for you? You can have tests after 12 months of active trying to conceive. Obviously fertility treatment availability depends on whether or not you already have children but the tests are surely worth having.

santabaybee · 28/12/2020 03:43

Though you do need a nee doctor. I went to mine after 4 months trying for a baby. Got referred for scans, had some tests and advice. Had a cyst on ovary and got lots of help and got pregnant after 8 months trying

santabaybee · 28/12/2020 03:39

You can only raise your chances by losing the weight. Definitely should be your first priority. Would have thought you would have been referred for assistance by now but anything you can do to help wouldn't hurt. I've recently learned that so many of my friends have been though these issues but so secretly. Your not alone

YukoandHiro · 28/12/2020 02:42

Definitely speak to a different GP

SleepingStandingUp · 28/12/2020 02:18

Can you try a different gp? After 3 years of TTC they should be referring you to the hospital. Yes the hospital may say loose weight but you will be one step closer and can still order the blood tests to see if you ovulate.

If your cycle is regular, I'd suggest cutting down the sex to every other day around ovulation so that his sperm have time to mature

Littleyell · 28/12/2020 02:10

How old are you OP?

Littleyell · 28/12/2020 02:09

@gypsywater

The fertility apps are beyond unreliable. Weight can play a huge role.
Flo is great. It’s always worked for me.
gypsywater · 28/12/2020 01:33

I believe there is like a 20% chance per month even if you hit the right days (depressing or what). 15% by mid 30s. So it can take several cycles where those correct days have been hit. It's so frustrating isnt it. I'm so over it all now.

Original poster
yellowbeaker · 28/12/2020 01:23

we did it pretty much every day this month which is why I thought we had a good shot.

OP posts:
Original poster
yellowbeaker · 28/12/2020 01:22

probably 2.5 stone to lose. I say that I don't think it plays a role because I got pregnant at a similar weight when I had the ectopic. I will get back on the healthy eating wagon again now Christmas is over.

OP posts:
gypsywater · 28/12/2020 01:19

The fertility apps are beyond unreliable.
Weight can play a huge role.

gypsywater · 28/12/2020 01:18

You really do need to be using OPKs to have a decent chance each month OP - unless you have sex every other day throughout your cycle excluding your period. They're the only two options really. ClearBlue digital OPKs are pretty decent.

Aquamarine1029 · 28/12/2020 01:13

I have spoken to my GP and he is "lose weight and then we will talk"
I personally don't think that weight is the issue but I am determined to lose some more in the new year.

Unfortunately, your weight can very often play a huge role in fertility. How overweight are you?

Original poster
yellowbeaker · 28/12/2020 01:06

We have been trying the "not using any contraceptives" method and seeing what happens for about 3 year- 18 months ago we realised that perhaps there was an issue as nothing was happening so I got an app and DP got his sperm checked which all came back fine. I am early 30's but I had an ectopic some years back so only have 1 fallopian tube.
I tried using opk's but if I am honest they just made me more stressed.

I have spoken to my GP and he is "lose weight and then we will talk"
I personally don't think that weight is the issue but I am determined to lose some more in the new year.

It's just shit. I have had enough of hoping every month and then having to deal with the disappointment. Dp is lovely and kind and wraps me up in his love. He is very much if it is meant to happen then it will. I am just upset I guess that my body has tricked me. I really thought this was it. I was so happy and excited.

OP posts:
Littleyell · 28/12/2020 00:49

Have you got an app like flo? You could try pregnacare tablets or seven seas do some.

Chica1990 · 28/12/2020 00:48

I’m the same, but I genuinely actually won’t be probably rather than it just being a thought. You will be pregnant before me just so you know.

lavenderlove · 28/12/2020 00:48

Same here. Those feelings have been made worse by the pregnancy announcements of friends and a family member over Christmas too Sad