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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Original poster

Ttc guidance and advice.

31 replies

Tonimays · 16/12/2020 23:25

Hello everyone, I've been ttc for over two years now and had no luck unfortunately - had 2 chemicals and a miscarriage at 6+4 weeks Sad I've never used OPKS or measured my BBT or checked my own cervix or any of the stuff I read about on here as it seems so confusing for me - I was just wondering if any of you lovely ladies could explain it simply to me - I don't understand when to use opks as my cycle is constantly irregular and my temperature is naturally always low as I'm a cold person.
Could anyone kindly explain the ttc process and pass on any tips of the trade you have?
( I have had bloods, smears, internal and external ultrasounds and all are okay)

Just a wanna be mamma waiting for her rainbow baby :( thank you all xx

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Horehound · 18/12/2020 16:04

Hope you've split with him already @Tonimays!

justwanttobemum · 17/12/2020 18:19

Yeah he sounds like an arse. He should not be saying that to you about diet/water in that way!! If I thought that about my partner I would suggest that we both do healthy eating/make an effort to drink water so it was both of us and I'd make out I wanted to be healthier too so as not to make him feel shit. He sounds nasty and immature

Original poster
Tonimays · 17/12/2020 16:00

@Horehound thank you for giving me the harsh truth. I think it's exactly what I needed to hear x

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Original poster
Tonimays · 17/12/2020 15:59

@Alicespring yeah have had my bloods checked and my thyroid and all came back all clear - I was surprised through because I thought I had anaemia.

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Horehound · 17/12/2020 15:49

Trust me you have plenty time. I did too but I wasn't with the right man and I don't think you are either.
Now I'm 34, had my baby at 33 honestly it is totally fine and I am SO GLAD I waited and met my husband. Honestly you need a rock to lean on, my husband pulls his weight and then some.
You need a guy like that not your silly pathetic boyfriend who I bet will be a lazy parent, stress you out, not pull his weight and expect you to clean up after him too

Do not do this. Please!

Alicespring · 17/12/2020 15:21

Have you had your blood/thyroid checked?
My ferritin was low and I concieved both times once I had been on iron tablets to solve the problem. Could just be a coincidence but I had a misscarriage and 2 chemicals in between that time. I also had no idea ferritin could contribute to conceiving until after I was pregnant and someone mentioned it to me!

Original poster
Tonimays · 17/12/2020 15:16

@Aozora13 this is genuinely his attitude towards everything - his way or the highway.

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Aozora13 · 17/12/2020 14:51

Hmm he’s not really responding in a very mature way - you’re ruining everything, didn’t want to do it anyway, it’s all your fault etc. Is this how he normally deals with setbacks? Having kids puts a lot of strain on a relationship and it’s not all plain sailing, I wonder if he is ready to start a family. Or maybe as a pp suggested he’s just scared and defensive which is making him throw his toys out the pram.

Original poster
Tonimays · 17/12/2020 13:46

@Horehound I think that's what makes it more difficult. Because I've had losses at a young age I got insight into being pregnant and was excited for it to happen and wanted to be a young mum - I feel like one of the main things I want to do in life is be a mum

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Horehound · 17/12/2020 13:43

Tbh I don't think you should have children with him. You should leave him he will be a useless father by the sounds of it.
You're also very young... Got your whole life ahead of you!

Original poster
Tonimays · 17/12/2020 13:32

I generally feel so alone and these forums are the only place I have to go to talk about this Sad

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Original poster
Tonimays · 17/12/2020 13:32

@justwanttobemum I get his worries completely, I just don't get the attitude and perspective that comes behind it. I feel like I'm alone through all of this, he takes no responsibility for anything and I'm not saying that he should - I simply just suggest the tests on his side and he flips completely - yes he is defensive but to me it seems like an excuse to not try for children anymore. He is absolutely adamant that I'm the problem here - he has said to me that it's because of my diet and the fact that I don't drink enough water. And he gets annoyed with me when I get the tiniest bit of emotional about our losses. I just feel like it's not his game at all anymore and I don't know if there's a way forward from this.

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justwanttobemum · 17/12/2020 13:28

OP it sounds a bit defensive to me, maybe he's scared to be tested because of how he'd feel if his tests weren't to be fully normal. Could you speak through options from both sides like what would you do if either of you had tests that weren't normal and try not to make it sound like you think there might be something wrong with him? I think he's scared/defensive xx

Original poster
Tonimays · 17/12/2020 13:17

@Aozora13 it's a conversation I hate to bring up because it just ends in tears. We've spoke about it again today and I brought up Sperm analysis because of the tests I've had my side and he just gets angry. Now he's claiming he doesn't want children anymore and that I've ruined it for him.

I just want to stop the hurt and have a familySad

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Aozora13 · 17/12/2020 13:00

@Tonimays I’m very sorry for your losses. I’m not sure I quite agree with your partner’s perspective of him “not being the problem”. For me it’s a question of ruling things out in order to identify the best way forward rather than blaming one or other of you. But perhaps he is just happy ticking along and maybe doesn’t realise how much stress you’re feeling or how much you want a baby? It’s a very deep, primal feeling and I don’t know if men feel it the same way?

Original poster
Tonimays · 17/12/2020 12:51

@Horehound I'm 23 and my partner is 27

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Horehound · 17/12/2020 12:48

How old are you and your partner?

Original poster
Tonimays · 17/12/2020 12:31

@Aozora13 hey, I had 3 routine blood tests and the first one came back as potential low thyroid , but my other two came back completely fine so I think my thyroid is normal now. My partner refused to get his sperm tested or analysed - he said that there's no rush and he doesn't feel like the problem is coming from him because he's been able to get me pregnant before which ended in a loss Sad

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ChloeR12 · 17/12/2020 10:48

@Tonimays look at the reviews online! They definitely help. They sometimes take a few cycles to get them into your system but anything it worth a go isn't it x

Aozora13 · 17/12/2020 09:10

I’m a pretty amateur ttc-er compared with some, but have been using OPKs the past couple of cycles and was surprised to learn I actually ovulate 2 days later than I thought! I’m not doing it very scientifically - just dtd every other day during fertile week and hoping for the best but using OPKs as a guide. I’m also taking pregnacare and hoping it will help with my short cycles. Haven’t used preseed but am thinking to try if I don’t fall this cycle.

I don’t temp but my understanding is that you track the fluctuations in your own temp so it’s all relative to you even if you run cold/hot - and it’s tiny changes, like to 2 decimal places.

Like anything, different methods will suit different people - already on here you’ve seen different recommendations! I guess just give different things a try and see how you get on, and if you find it adding to the stress or not helping then don’t feel like you should carry on because or worked for some random on the internet!

As you’ve been ttc for a while, have you been to the GP? It might be that there’s something else going on eg sperm count or your thyroid or something which OPKs and temp charts won’t help with.

Original poster
Tonimays · 17/12/2020 00:20

Wow @ChloeR12 congratulations to you both!! This has definitely given me some sort of hope!!

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Original poster
Tonimays · 17/12/2020 00:16

Have any of you heard of preeseed?

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ChloeR12 · 17/12/2020 00:16

I was speaking with a female trying to conceive for a year... I took seven seas trying to conceive pills and got pregnant after the first month and so did she! So maybe worth a try?

Horehound · 17/12/2020 00:08

Hmm it should be rejigging it's predictions if you keep logging religiously each month.

Original poster
Tonimays · 17/12/2020 00:06

@Horehound I already use the app Flo but it's never been accurate with me - I've been using it for a year now and AF has never came when it says on the app Sad

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