Trying but not trying...anyone else?

Hi, can I join in too? I have dd 4 (nearly 5) and am trying but not trying (but actually really trying) for baby number two with my current partner (it will be his first).

I'm definitely in the camp of 'let's just have unprotected sex regularly and it will happen when it's meant to' but we're both secretly way more invested then that! Just started month 4 of coming of the pill, currently cycle day 4. Not doing OPKs or temping or anything just dtd every 2-3 days. Last month I got completely obsessed with testing from 9 DPO and drove myself mad. I also spent far too much time researching whether I could have a BFN at 12/13 dpo and still go on to have a BFP. It was a bad month for obsessing. This month I'm going to wait till my period is due to try and save my sanity. Also as this would be the first for my DP and I already have a child he is naturally worried that because we haven't conceived after 3 months there must be something wrong with him, really want to dial the pressure right back for both our sanity!

Thanks guys!
I think it’s making me feel like we’ve started...seen as I can’t do anything else (except practice as the OH puts it) till January! 😂

Interesting - maybe this month I'll just see what happens and next month try the tests...

I thought today was ovulation day but I'm now thinking it isn't. Don't use temps or OPKs - should I be...? Does anyone else?

Welcome @Porgy657

AF is now 2 days late for me but had a BFN yesterday morning. Stupid cycles 🙄

Can I join! Please bear with me I have not yet got to grips with all the abbreviations! Me and DP have decided to try but not try..however I am on depo so am now waiting for that to ‘run out’ (early jan) before anything could even potentially happen! DP is almost frustratingly relaxed...whereas I’m taking vitamins etc so feeling like I’m preparing more than I initially planned to anyway! 🤦‍♀️

Ah I totally agree - it's impossible to not get excited isn't it. And yep - definitely trying! DTD has never been such a regular occurrence in this house haha!

It's so hard isn't it, not to think about it all the time!

Feels like we should just be chilled and getting on with our lives... it's no big deal after all... except of course, it is!

I spoke to my partner the other day about it all and how silly I felt about obsessing. He was like, look, if you need to obsess then that's what you need - don't beat yourself up about it. It's a strange time.

Made me feel a lot better tbh!

If you're "trying but not trying" then, well, sorry but you're basically trying! And so obviously you're going to be thinking about it... and that's OK :)

@larrythelizard @Curiosity101 honestly 😭😂 gave birth in 2018 to my first and since then had nice regularish periods 30-35days never missed one but now I'm on CD40, its a nightmare 😭😂

@Jessicatayla That is exactly why I've got OPKs! I'd go crazy if AF was later than usual due to late ovulation!

I’m sort-of doing this, but for #1. We’re happy if it happens now, but not actively trying. I came off the pill in early November so I’ve been using ovulation sticks as an idea of what’s going on...

I’d love to say that I’m still feeling all chilled and “it’ll happen when it’s ready”, but I’m thinking about it a good 80% of the time 🙈

Me too! TTC no 3. Have been trying but not trying for 9 months (not really trying TBF), but still disappointed every month when AF arrives. I’m a bit up and down with how chilled out I am about it, but as it’s no 3 we have decided that we are still very lucky with our two if it doesn’t happen.
Good luck to everyone!!

Taking the relaxed approach too. Except this month af is 5 days late and I'm getting bfns 😭 but because we are taking the relaxed approach I have no idea when I ovulated 😂

@magnarocks Haha, that one did make me chuckle.

Nothing wrong with OPKs in theory @larrythelizard! Me and DH aren't timing anything specifically to fit with ovulation but I do have OPKs so that I know when I can do a HPT.

@larrythelizard, we've all been there... or frantically trying to play it cool and show no disappointment when OH says he's a bit tired when you're ovulating. 🙄 😆

Hi, can I join?!

I am trying to convince myself I'm completely chill about ttc (number 1!) but the fact that I'm excited AF has arrived so I can start trying next cycle says otherwisethis is my first cycle after my coil was removed so a little all over the place I imagine.

Good luck to everyone!!

Im TTC ... stopped with tbe pill a year ago and trying to take the chilled approach! Been actively trying for 4 months and now my chilled approach has turned rather less chilled!! Worse thing is each month I persuade myself I'm going to have a BFP!