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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Original poster

Struggling to conceive after miscarriage

84 replies

WildflowerPetals · 06/12/2020 21:05

Hi everyone,
I had a missed miscarriage back in April - baby had stopped growing around 6 weeks but I only found out at my 12 week scan.
Me and DH have been TTC ever since but haven’t had any success yet. I’m now on my 7th cycle since the miscarriage.

I had some hormone bloods done at the doctors but they all came back normal and they won’t do any other tests until we’ve been trying for 12 months.

I just wondered if anyone else had struggled to conceive after a miscarriage? Or if anyone had any suggestions for me?

A bit of information about me...

  • I’m 27 (28 next week) & DH 29
  • TTC #1
  • 31 day cycle with 10/11 day luteal phase (although this months has been 12)
  • Usually get positive OPK around CD19
  • Myself & DH have been taking conception vitamins since the miscarriage
  • Stopped taking contraception (POP) around July 2019

Any help would be appreciated x

OP posts:
Thread gallery
6
Owlbeok · 08/03/2021 16:29

@WildflowerPetals My GP has been saying to me for years that I need to think about having children as it can take some people a long time. I laughed it off as wasn't in a place to consider ttc and now I'm like I should have listened ha!
He does seem to have an interest in the area and is very understanding of the situation. I also had pains around ovulation that I was worried about so he referred me for ultrasound for that. I think it was a bit unfair of your doctor to make you wait 1 year after mmc, it sounds like you will might have to really advocate for yourself with them. There are non-invasive tests that can be done so I don't see why it would be an issue.
It is all truly so unfair and luck of the draw. There is no rhyme or reason why some get pregnant so quickly while others don't especially when there are no underlying issues. Its a mystery!

Original poster
WildflowerPetals · 07/03/2021 21:03

Hi @Owlbeok, sorry you’re going through this too. I hate that a lot of us have been told you’re more fertile after a miscarriage, it gets your hopes up and makes you feel like somethings wrong if you’re struggling to conceive. How did you and DH manage to get tested so quickly? Our GP is making us wait a year after MMC, which will be next month now, but it’s felt like a long wait. It’s so hard when someone you know falls pregnant - two girls at my work fell pregnant/were pregnant when I was, both weren’t trying and didn’t want a baby for another few years. I fell pregnant after trying a couple months and lost mine. They both went on to have healthy babies - obviously I’m glad all went well for them but it also seems so unfair and was a difficult time for me.
Thanks for reaching out xx

OP posts:
Owlbeok · 21/02/2021 15:54

Hi @WildflowerPetals,
I just wanted to say that I am experiencing the same thing. MMC in June 2020, TTC #1. Initially conceived on cycle 2 so expected to get pregnant again very quickly again, coupled with the fact I was told i'd be more fertile after a miscarriage. Evidently not!!
Myself and DH have had tests with our GP and all have come back normal which in itself is frustrating, like what is the problem then! I always get positive OPKs and have very regular cycle. I too worry the D&C changed something but not sure what?
I've been really working on telling myself repeatedly that it is normal and it can just take a bit more time. Now a close friend has told me she is pregnant, first cycle trying and its thrown me again. Hard to keep telling yourself it is normal to take so long when it happens so easily for others.
It feels like being stuck in limbo land, a really crap one at that.
Anyway just wanted to say you aren't alone!

Original poster
WildflowerPetals · 01/02/2021 08:54

@dustyrose32 So sorry for your loss and that you find yourself in this awful situation. Your story sounds very similar to mine. I had no EWCM after my miscarriage too but I started taking Evening Primrose Oil a few months back and that seems to have worked! I now get some EWCM around ovulation. I’ve stopped temping and using OPK’s as I found they just caused me more stress. My luteal phase is also on the shorter side, like yours, and my cycles are longer than what they were post miscarriage (now 31 days instead of 28). The only thing I’ve managed to get out of my doctors so far is hormone bloods which they say are normal - although they didn’t test my oestrogen but not sure why. Doctors don’t really seem all that bothered and have said I have to wait until it’s been a year since MMC. The waiting is so hard though isn’t it?
I have the same worries as you, that the miscarriage has knocked something out of sync and means I can’t conceive.
I’m okay, thanks for asking, just trying to get to April when the doctors will start doing more tests/refer me. I’ve researched all I can but unfortunately nothing really seems to be helping (other than the evening primrose oil). Hope you’re okay, sending love xx

OP posts:
dustyrose32 · 31/01/2021 13:15

Hi @WildflowerPetals I am in the same situation as you. Im 32, don't have any children and had a mmc in Feb 2020 which I found out about at my 12 week scan. It was an anembryonic pregnancy. Had the MC naturally but found out in May it was incomplete after still not having a period. After mysoprostol I got my period 28 days later. That was June and I'm still not pregnant. I've been tracking opks and started temping. My periods aren't the same as before though and I have about 4 days of spotting before any kind of flow. Also no ewcm that I had before the MC and my lutheal phase is 9 days before spotting starts. Blood test said my hormones are "within normal range"
We got pregnant the first month of trying before the MC and now I'm worried it has knocked something out of sync or worse but can't bear to think about that.
I am now waiting for a referral to fertility as it's been over a year but the docs brush me off and say "it's just time, relax etc" not very helpful.
How are you doing at the moment? I don't think lockdown helps does it...Sending a big hug your way xxx

Original poster
WildflowerPetals · 23/12/2020 11:11

Thank you all for sharing your stories - it really helps ❤️

OP posts:
PutOnAHappyFace · 17/12/2020 22:00

Just adding to the stories. I had a MMC July 2019 and finally conceived again this October. The internet seems to be full of stories of being super fertile after a miscarriage but it really wasn't the case for me at all.

Hopefully this gives you a little bit of hope that sometimes it just takes a bit longer but I know how awful the wait is.

Justbecause88 · 17/12/2020 21:34

I’m in a similar situation, miscarriage at 7 weeks in March. We have been trying since with no success, got my period today and feeling really down about it all. I’ve messaged my doctors to get the ball rolling with tests, it’s just under a year but I’ve lied as by the time they actually get round to doing them it won’t be far off. I’m very lucky that I already have a 15 month old, but am struggling as after getting pregnant earlier in the year I was expecting a small age gap. Now the potential age gap is getting bigger each month it’s just a constant reminder of the loss.

ShalomToYouJackie · 17/12/2020 20:46

I should add all I changed was using a digital clearblue OPK and pre-seed xx

ShalomToYouJackie · 17/12/2020 20:46

Hi OP, sorry about your loss.

Keep going, don't give up ❤️ I had a MC in Oct 2019 and I'm now 20 weeks pregnant. I was close to giving up but after 9 or 10 cycles I got my BFP xx

Tinseltown85 · 17/12/2020 20:41

Thank you @peacheswife

peacheswife · 17/12/2020 20:36

@Tinseltown85 I have everything crossed for you xx

Tinseltown85 · 17/12/2020 18:13

Just to let u girls know my bleeding has stopped just after 72 hours which is not normal for me so I am hoping that was implantation bleeding

Mishmased · 17/12/2020 05:02

@Lemondropsandgumdrops sending you big hugs ThanksThanks

Lemondropsandgumdrops · 16/12/2020 23:42

No real suggestions or advice but very much in the same boat!

Miscarriage in May at 11.5 weeks, but baby had stopped developing around 7. I’m the same age as you, although this is #2 we’re trying for as had DD in January 2019. My cycles are long, tend to ovulate around CD28 which has been consistent for past 3 months (before this cycles were anywhere from 40-100 days) and 13-14 day luteal phase.

I fell on the first try back in March. DD took about 9 months to fall for so didn’t expect it to happen so quickly. It would’ve been my due date for the baby I lost last week and I was so hopeful I’d be pregnant again by then but clearly not.

So sorry for the long rant of 0 helpful advice but just wanted to know you’re not alone and I totally relate to how you’re feeling!

Mishmased · 16/12/2020 18:27

@WildflowerPetals I figured no worries, it's hard to keep track of the threads. Great you started evening primrose. I understand the getting pregnant soon after mc doesn't apply to all, was putting it out there for those going through a mc now. I hope I didn't come across as being insensitive. Fingers crossed it happens for you soon.x

Original poster
WildflowerPetals · 16/12/2020 18:11

@Mishmased I think all of us here have been trying for quite a number of months now so doesn’t seem to be the case for us unfortunately.

OP posts:
Original poster
WildflowerPetals · 16/12/2020 18:09

Sorry @Mishmased & @gypsywater I seem to have merged your replies in my last post 🤦🏻‍♀️

@mishmashed I started evening primrose just over a week ago, hopefully it’ll work x

OP posts:
Mishmased · 16/12/2020 18:07

Should add that you're sometimes more fertile after a miscarriage so hopefully that will be the case here.xxx

Mishmased · 16/12/2020 18:02

So sorry @gypsywater, sending you lots of hugs ThanksThanks

Mishmased · 16/12/2020 18:01

@WildflowerPetals I've read on these threads about evening primrose helping with cervical mucus.
Big hugs to everyone, it is tough to go through and you never understand until you go through it. Sending lots of baby dust❤️❤️❤️

Tinseltown85 · 16/12/2020 16:03

@WildflowerPetals thank you it seems to be getting less now

Original poster
WildflowerPetals · 16/12/2020 15:08

@Tinseltown85 fingers crossed for you x

@Mishmased Sorry for your loss. It took around 2-3 months to conceive. Since the MMC I don’t really get any CM so can’t track that unfortunately, doctors don’t seem concerned though 🤷🏻‍♀️ I felt better once my due date had passed (November) so if you’ve not conceived by yours then hopefully you will too x

OP posts:
gypsywater · 16/12/2020 14:19

@peacheswife thank you so much Flowers

peacheswife · 16/12/2020 13:39

@gypsywater I'm so sorry for your loss. I had mine in February and my due date was august. I completely missed my period then due to stress but I actually felt better after id got over the due date and felt like I could relax more. It took me 9 months to get pregnant that time and 3 this time so it might happen sooner than you think. I know I hated when people said it to me but relaxing really does help. Both times I've got pregnant have been in November when I'm busy thinking about Xmas and had my mind on other things.

I hope you get your BFP soon ❤️