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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Original poster

What are we doing wrong :(

31 replies

DeeDee20 · 29/11/2020 10:46

Hi all,
Just wondering if anyone had any tips or could shed some light. I’m 34, partner 41, TTC for 7 months now. Last 3 months been using the CB ovulation sticks and during the ovulation week we DTD every other day and when I static smily and day after as instructed.
My cycle is between 27-30 days so find the sticks helpful but each month. This month I reached a cycle of 30 days, period still not here and a negative pregnancy result. I really thought we had finally done it.

Thank you, starts to get to you doesn’t it

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TJ17 · 03/12/2020 14:56

@DeeDee20 I hear a lot of stick (lol) about ovulation kits. I'm sure they work for some but I think it can just cause a lot of stress which is detrimental in TTC. Just try DTD every other day for a bit and it should hopefully feel a little less staged.

All I ever heard when TTC was how you shouldn't get stressed because when you stop thinking about it is when it happens but that's just impossible 🤦🏼‍♀️😅

ScottishLassie91 · 03/12/2020 14:09

Yeah that worked for me, I'm 15 weeks now, did it every 2nd day right until af was due so we weren't too fixated on ovulation times as well x
Good luck and sending hugs 💜 xx

Original poster
DeeDee20 · 03/12/2020 13:59

@ScottishLassie91 thank you, did it work for you. I just can’t get my head around it, CB gives me few days flashy smily and then static comes, we DTD every other day throughout this week/10 days and everyday on static and then AF comes on cd34! Hoooow. Nothing matches.
I think this month it’s just going to be DTD every other day. I just can’t make sense of it all.

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TJ17 · 03/12/2020 12:48

According to my friends dates she must have gotten pregnant the day after her period ended. She knows this because it was the only day they DTD as she needed medication for shingles and was advised by doctors to hold off TTC until the course was finished. Next period was missed and she was pregnant! Luckily no harm to baby from the meds!

TJ17 · 03/12/2020 12:44

Yes we DTD most days the whole cycle as well, never tracked ovulation so have no advice on that

ScottishLassie91 · 03/12/2020 11:18

@DeeDee20 sorry you're going through this x

When we decided to TTC, I spoke to my GP who advised to have sex every 2nd day right throughout and thats what we done as there is also a window either side when you can fall pregnant. I always sort of knew when I was ovulating and we done it at least once a day during then as well.

I found that trying not to think of it as a chore, like having to do it. We tried to really keep it exciting as much as we could as well took a lot of pressure off.

Good luck xx

TJ17 · 03/12/2020 11:00

So sorry @DeeDee20
Sometimes our bodies can be so cruel 😩
I'm glad you have closure for this month though.

Sending all the baby dust your way Star

Jamill87 · 03/12/2020 08:59

@DeeDee20 sorry this isn't your month, I get the almost relief from AF though, least you know where you are with things now.

I am having a bit of a nightmare tbh, I had what I thought was implantation bleeding on sunday night but every test I have done is bfn. AF is due on sat so we will see x

Original poster
DeeDee20 · 03/12/2020 08:10

@Joan7986 Sorry to hear about your MMC, I hope you’re ok and thank you so much for the advice

@TJ17 so this morning AF came like never before!! So heavy!! I’m so relieved that now I can start trying again but really want to get it right this month, this has to be our month. I feel I’ll have To just CB and cheaply sticks. Thank you for all your support

@Jamill87 hope you’re ok

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TJ17 · 02/12/2020 22:10

Aww keep us posted ❤️
So sorry to everyone going through this journey I remember it well and it was beyond hard at times!

Hang on in there your time will come Thanks

Joan7986 · 02/12/2020 19:56

I have got pregnant twice this year (sadly both ended up in MMc). I started off using the CB Advanced Tests and got pregnant on our second attempt.

However, by October we had no luck since my MMC back in May. For some reason my periods were arriving late (about 20 days after my "peak" ovulation) - so out of curiosity I bought the cheap "easy at home" tests - to use alongside my CB.

On the first time of using these I got pregnant (again sadly ended In MC) but I realised that I was "surging" twice - so my CB would show as static, but I kept testing with the cheapies to see my LH go down, which it did a bit, but then two days later I got a much bigger surge and ovulated then. The problems with the CB is that if you have multiple surges, with the last one the one which triggers ovulation, they can give you a false positive - and cannot carry on testing once you get your peak.

I hope this helps! X

Original poster
DeeDee20 · 02/12/2020 18:18

@TJ17 aww your post ♥️ You literally have quoted everything I’m feeling and thinking right now. Keeping everything crossed something shows one way or another by the weekend 🤞🏼

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TJ17 · 02/12/2020 10:13

@DeeDee20 I know exactly what you are going through I drove myself maaaaaad waiting for either AF or a BFP!!!
I found myself just willing for period to arrive just so I was put out of my misery and we could start the whole miserable journey again!

But in the end I got my BFP and she's currently fast asleep on me as we speak. You'll get there 😊❤️🤞🏻🤞🏻🤞🏻

Nothing could have ever prepared me for how stressful it would be TTC! It's always painted to be such an exciting time but I just found it pure stress.
I was just as crazy both times as well and I'm so glad I don't have to go through it again!

Wishing you all the luck in the world ❤️❤️❤️

Original poster
DeeDee20 · 02/12/2020 08:40

@Rachetine thank you
@TJ17 aww I’m 4 days late now with 2 BFN, trying to stay calm and ride out a week before calling GP. Xx

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Original poster
DeeDee20 · 29/11/2020 19:55

@Dilemmmmma thank you, I didn’t know

@Jamill87 I’ll wait till Wednesday and if still no AF, I’ll test. And not CB.

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Jamill87 · 29/11/2020 19:47

I am by no means an expert but I have heard of people that don't get a bfp for up to 5 days after af is due, you're not out till af shows up, try and stay positive and fingers crossed for you.

Dilemmmmma · 29/11/2020 19:45

Clear blue is the least sensitive of the easily available tests, so hold no stock in its negative!

Original poster
DeeDee20 · 29/11/2020 19:35

@Jamill87 really? AF was due Saturday and I took a CB digital test Sunday am, fmu and said not pregnant.
I have also been using the CB ovulation sticks that give you the 4 days leading up the peak.

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Jamill87 · 29/11/2020 18:36

I think all we can do is keep trying, as gutting it is to get AF every month. I really wanted to get my BFP by the end of the year and time is ticking.

What tests have you used? I think it's quite common to not get a bfp for a while after a missed af.

Original poster
DeeDee20 · 29/11/2020 17:50

Thank you ladies, for all your advice and words. Just lovely to know there’s somewhere to talk about this. Can be lonely x

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Original poster
DeeDee20 · 29/11/2020 17:49

It is so tough. And I am so confused! My period is never ever this late, I was convinced I would get a BFP this am as I have Defo missed my period. It’s always frustrating when AF comes but this..it’s making my head spin. I would rather just know. What are you going to do? X

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Jamill87 · 29/11/2020 17:03

@DeeDee20 I could have written this, same ages, trying for the same amount of time and same CDs. Not much advice to offer though as in the same boat. It's so tough isn't it.

Mylittlepony374 · 29/11/2020 16:54

I would talk to your GP. In Ireland (where I am) they say if you're 35 and over and trying for 6 months without success to check with GP, under 35 they want you to have tried for a year. I know you're 34 but if your GP is good they may be happy to talk now.
Having said that, I tried for 5 years for my first without success. All medical investigations were normal. What I think did it in the end was that I lost a good bit of weight. So if you are overweight I'd consider that.
I can still feel the heartbreak of getting my period every month. Like a gut punch. And I felt like I was failing as a woman, like my body was failing me. So I really feel for you and don't mean to scare you with above, or upset you if you are overweight, just going from my experience.

TJ17 · 29/11/2020 16:53

Hi @DeeDee20 don't want to give you false hope but I didn't get a positive pregnancy test until my period was 5 days late the last time round.
For every day your period doesn't arrive it means it's not over yet 😊

Wishing you all the luck! The waiting is the worst and each month feels sooo long and each failed attempt gets harder to take. Like PP said statistically you're likely to get pregnant within the next 6 months so hang on in there Thanks

Things are sometimes meant to be and maybe your time will come when the pandemic is nearly over as being pregnant and giving birth right now isn't quite the same (coming from someone with a DS from normal times and a DD who's a lockdown baby!)

Rachetine · 29/11/2020 16:49

I’ve posted this on a few threads, but I uses Ovusense with great success, so if you can afford it I highly recommend. It turned out both my ovulation sticks and my period app were out, with Ovusense we got pregnant on the fist try! I’m now 9+2 and will defo use it next time.