9DPO Symptom Spotting

Nope, not trapped wind. Still sore. I'll assume I have a huge follicle waiting to push out an oversized egg tomorrow 😅

I tested 3 hours later and the line wasn't as dark on the OPK. I'll take one more test at 8pm and if that comes back just as light, I'll conclude that I just about missed my 100%+ peak. Must have been a quick surge. I'm starting to get quite sore on my left side too so the pain is either in preparation of ovulating tomorrow or it's happening right now!

Ouuuuuuch! Now I'm suspecting I'm ovulating right now. I could have caught my surge late and it may have started this morning while I was sleeping. I dipped 2 OPKs in the same urine sample at 2pm and got 0.71 and 0.95 so I'm not sure which is right. Would DTD tomorrow be pointless...?? Maybe I'll DTD tonight for good measure and hope his sperm are willing and able. I think our cycles may be a day apart now.

If you hadn't gotten +ve OPKs later, I also would have thought your ovulation day was CD14. Have you ever done a chart overlay to confirm your cycle trends? It would be interesting to see how much of an impact the vitamins will have on your temps this cycle. I think higher temps can only be a good thing.

Yeah, orgasms had never been a big deal for me as I'd never had one before. It's not until recently that I've started trying to relax and let go. I do get them now with a vibrator but I'd also be pretty happy to go the rest of my life without them. They're just not that much of a big deal 🤷‍♀️ but maybe it is a hormonal thing. Such a shame that the pill ruined more than just your menstrual cycle 🙁

😂😂😂 silly sperm!

Luckily Greece is DH's home so there's always somewhere to stay, and flights can be cheap sometimes, we'd have to time it right and go during an off-peak season. Plus we'll be visiting family regardless, so two birds one stone. Gonadotropins 😱 You mean I'd have to inject myself to do an IUI?? There must be another drug that can be taken. Does quick research Clomid and letrozole. Fortunately, neither of them seem to be injections. Phew! I'll leave the Gonadotropins to you 😂😂

Aww I started my period at 13 too. I still remember it was 2 months after my 13th birthday 😁 I don't think it's fair that it was your DP's choice for you to go on the pill. Condoms are always an option. It's not just the woman's responsibility to prevent pregnancy. I think infertility is a sad thing 😟 and we're all entitled to that sadness. You have been really strong, positive and practical about it all 🤗 I do hope you get your own biological children either way.

Hehe that's truuue! My little ones as flower girl or page boy 💕 So cuuute! Sorry to hear you had little money growing up. I think it's always every parent's hope to mould their child into a successful, self-sufficient person. Your mum could have been a stay at home parent for many reasons but I'm sure she still wanted the best for you.

Ouch. Is the scar pretty obvious? Do you still wear crop tops (don't know how this question is relevant to anything 😂) I think I just feel dirty being submerged in water. Baths can be dirty places and I'll never soak myself in one without cleaning it a few times with bleach. But even then, just the thought that I'm stewing amongst my own bodily juices makes me so itchyyy!

Yes, DH is really keen to extend. He reckons it could be worth at least £700k in today's money. I don't agree. I think £600k max. It's still a semi-detached and there's a cap on how much value you can add to it. It might be worth just moving house instead. Let's see.

I think a doer-upper is a good idea. The second house we offered on was a doer-upper. It'll be nice adding your own touch to a property and making it how you want. And they tend to be cheaper so you may get lucky and find somewhere affordable in Devon. Why did you family move from the midlands?

Good luck with the pattern! Message me if you need any help. I don't think I'll sew this weekend. I think I want to do nothing and just watch TV shows all day 😅

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UPDATE:

I've done an 8pm OPK and got 0.88 so I probably haven't peaked yet. And I think the side pain must have been trapped wind??? Who knows! 😂 I think tomorrow will be O day! I'll have DH save his sperm for then.

Congrats on an earlier ovulation! I think CD16 is a safe bet with your positive OPKs. So far today, my OPK is at 95%. I'm hoping to test again this evening and get a higher % so it looks like I'll be ovulating on CD14, which is awesome but not unusual for me. This is my 2nd tracked cycle ovulating on CD14. I also have two cycles of CD15 and two cycles of CD16 so it's all pretty balanced.

Usually my temps are around 36.4 when I ovulate so it'll be interesting to see what my temps will do this cycle as they're still quite low. Have you noticed any patterns or trends in your charts?

I decided it was best to inseminate yesterday (CD12) and then DTD as well on CD14. If we only did it today (CD13), then I'd only have one day of sperm, whereas CD12 and CD14 gives me two days of sperm. We'll DTD early tomorrow morning as I'll probably ovulate in the afternoon. Looks like your ovulation pain didn't stop you from DTD this cycle, which is awesome. Hopefully that gives you a good chance. Do you make sure your orgasm after every session?

Also, welcome to the TWW!

We both feel better now thanks for asking. It passed pretty quickly for both of us. Once we'd been to the toilet, we felt fine. So whatever poisoned us probably wasn't strong enough to keep us down for long. I feel like every month, I'm doing something to upset my stomach, I just wish it was a baby upsetting my stomach instead! But I guess food and spice poisoning are the next best things! 😅

Haha you read the article. Maybe there's a study out there about how women produce better eggs around unfamiliar men 😂 I wonder if watching porn and then DTD will have the same affect or whether his subconscious mind would know he's still DTD with his spouse and so release all the rubbish spermies anyway.

I think DH and I are going to do a medicated IUI in Greece as it's cheaper than in the UK, around €600 without medication. I don't know how many follicles could be fertilised but they'll be an increased risk of twins or triplets with the medication 😱 What if we both end up with multiples? That'll be so funny!

Oh my goodness! That sounds really horrible and scary. How did you feel growing up knowing you could be infertile? You've probably had years to process the possibility but it must still feel like an impossible situation to be in? Have you ever been checked for PCOS or endometriosis?

Yeah definitely! Unexplained infertility is 100% worse than a concrete diagnosis. Knowing my luck, I'd probably have that 😂 There's not much point holding out hope for a natural conception - I think I feel much more relaxed having zero expectations. Do you still expect to conceive naturally?

Was your mum a stay at home parent? My cousins are still very much single. I have one that's 28 (19 days younger than me) and her sister is 26, with no sign of settling down any time soon. I'm not really sure when the next wedding in the family will be, but I think I'll be alone in being married with kids for a while 🙁

I think without having given birth before, it's difficult to say whether a vaginal birth or c-section would be better for you. Your body might cope better with one over the other. Would you be ok with having a scar?
Nope, no water birth for me. I hate being in water. I never have baths. My body starts feeling really itchy and the experience becomes very uncomfortable for me, I don't think an itchy body would be appreciated while I'm in the throws of labour. Would you do it?

Yeah, with an extension behind and above the garage. It's probably a long term plan, maybe 5-10 years away as we'd have to save loads for it. In 10 years, the kids would still be young so we wouldn't need 5 bedrooms straight away. If you go on the street view of the neighbourhood, you'll see a lot of neighbours have done double storey side extensions too - some look nice, others look weird.

Will they be competency based questions, like: give an example of a time where you faced some challenges but were able to achieve good results?

That'll be an interesting mix of accents! 😆

Yeah, the river is definitely a risk with kids. I'd forever regret it if they ever fell in. But the new place also has a balcony and steps down into the garden. We'd have to find a way to make it child friendly. I'm thinking of having a gradual slope that leads down to the garden instead of steps.

Will you be starting any sewing projects this weekend?

Hmmm, looks like you are ovulating today then. Tomorrow, your temps will probably start increasing past FP temps. CD16 is pretty alright! I sometimes ovulate on CD16. It's a day earlier than your last cycle right??
My OPK is at 0.47 this evening so I'm expecting to peak tomorrow!! I guessed CD14 perfectly. But it could also easily be CD15. It means we'll be 2 days apart again which is awesome!

Yeah, it's so strange to see extreme falls and rises on my charts. Maybe my progesterone is sputtering - preparing for ovulation in a few days! DH and I can't DTD today! We both have food poisoning!! And we think it was from some feta cheese. We went into town this evening to buy food at M&S and I could feel my stomach bubbling and I knew I wouldn't make it back home in time, so we detoured at Itsu and luckily their toilets were open. Haha! How embarrassing. I still want him to do his business and maybe I'll self-inseminate again 😂😂 Or we could wait until tomorrow. 🤔🤔 Is DTD the day before or the day of ovulation better...? I'd have to time it accordingly...

I was researching low sperm count and came across a study about the way men ejaculate when with someone they're familiar with vs. a randomer. I'll see if I can find it again. Here it is

Being a carrier is fine. It doesn't impact me in any way. It's just that the combination of the genes can be dangerous and deadly. DH got a blood test done and he's fine thankfully! If I was still with my ex, we would probably have to consider IVF to conceive 😕 Is Psoriatic Arthritis genetic? Does that mean one of his parents has it as well? How does he find dancing with the condition?

You're probably fine physically like me. But could just be hormonal, which I think is the best case scenario as something can be done about hormones. What was the peritonitis like? Just did a google search and it's an infection in the abdomen? Can the infection spread to your reproductive organs? I genuinely still think there's something wrong with me, it's the only thing that makes sense as to why we haven't conceived yet, so if my progesterone comes back normal, I'd be very annoyed!

That's true! 😂 But it would still be cool if I got inseminated with his sperm at the same time you got your embryos put in you. Then we can start our TWW together. Haha you want to be inseminated by an alien monster? 😂😂😂

Well, when everyone saw my dress, they liked it, so that helped. But they mostly went with what I thought so no one actually overtly disagreed with a dress. It would be a good idea to do lots of research so at least you can stand your ground when you come across a dress you don't like. Covid is definitely hard on relationships 🙁 I hope you can rekindle your friendships but I'm sure your friends will understand as everyone's just trying to survive at the moment.

Ah I see. I'm the first grandchild on both sides! I feel the same way as you. My grandma is also in her 80s and she's basically just waiting to meet her great-grandchildren before she chooses to pass away 🙄😂 I'm the only one married too, so she'd want my cousins to settle down and know that they're happy as well. Yess! My wedding was the first in the family! Phew! There's so much pressure to get everything right and in the correct order. Do well in exams, go to a good uni, get a good degree, find a good job, find a husband, get married, have children. Welcome to the pressure pot that is my life. Did family ever have a lot of expectations of you?

I actually read up on which is safer, vaginal birth or C-section and apparently vaginal is much safer 😱 I guess having a child is basically just risky and you can't win either way!

Gosh, you'd think with 21st century technology that they would have found ways to make houses better, sturdier and safer. But it's all about cutting corners. It's terrible! I have another friend who bought a new build. As nice as they look, you're paying a premium for buying it brand new and sometimes, it's just not worth the price!

Thank you! I'm definitely looking forward to hosting gatherings again. I like that it's a kitchen diner too so we can entertain guests while we cook. I think in the future, we'd convert that whole room into a kitchen and make a dining room inside a side or back extension. Maybe rebuild a bigger and stronger balcony and construct a floating conservatory/extension that overlooks the hills and use that as the dining room. The attached floor plans are some of my ideas. Do you think it's weird cutting slightly into the garage to put in a downstairs toilet?

Oooh you have a while to wait before you hear anything back about the job! Gives you lots of time to prepare I suppose. Do you know the sort of questions they'd ask?

Yeah, I'm going to snip off the ends of the zipper. If I had planned it properly, I would have sewn the zipper in between the main fabric and the lining and that way it would be hidden and look nicer on the inside, but it's ok as it is.

Boggle is one I've never played before. Might have to look into it. I like word games. They're fun. I play a few on my phone too.

Do you still have your midlands accent? I just sound like a Londoner 😂

£715??? Gosh and you said where you live is expensive! 😂 We clearly have different ideas of what expensive is. £715 is a dream for a 2 bed flat! The estate agent said everyone will sanitise, won't touch things, etc and we'll be out of the house for an hour or so while they wander about.

Haha! The river is a lovely feature. On the opposite bank there is pathway where people go for walks, so they can see into the gardens. It was fun in the summer because I went onto the river in a rubber dinghy with my neighbour and we could not row and the river kept taking us downstream and people were obviously staring at us 😂 DH went into a kayak and fell in too! Such fun times. I will miss it 😭 But we'll always have our neighbours-turned-good-friends to visit 💕 We actually offered to buy the house but the landlord wasn't looking to sell but I think our new house is better anyway 😅

Do you think when you buy, you'd create a separate nursery for the baby, or will you have them sleep in your room with you? I like the idea of a nursery but it seems like such a waste of a bedroom 😂 But I really want to decorate one as well!

So do you think you ovulated CD15? It's great that it's a little earlier this cycle! I'm not sure if B vitamins prevent ovulation pain. Maybe keep testing with OPKs in case you get another peak. Maybe you didn't ovulate that first time? What are your temps looking like today? Have they increased? That's the only way to confirm, I suppose.

My temps have been weird. I got a sudden drop yesterday! Maybe my bracelet malfunctioned? I think it would be too early for an ovulation dip but I think I did see EWCM yesterday when I wiped, although it was so little it probably didn't count. Shame I'm not tracking CM! I actually read that when a male DTD with the same female, the sperm don't bother going in in droves. Some hang back in the cervix and they gradually go in as there's already lots of sperm in the uterus - or something like that. So maybe poking around in my cervix isn't a good idea. I'll start testing with OPKs today anyway.

Oh gosh, I'm not sure I'd want to share a kid with any of my exes. If I'd had a child with them, I'd probably stay with them... and what a miserable existence that would be... Plus my ex and I are both genetic carriers of a blood disorder so if we had a kid together, they'd be a 25% chance they'd inherit it! So risky! Do you have an ex that you could have maybe made it work with with a kid?

Luckily a sperm analysis doesn't cost thousands, so that's something you could easily do. At least it'll give you some idea of how you DP's fertility is. They'd probably ask you to go in for checks too, which probably won't cost thousands either. Hopefully sooner rather than later. I'll finally get to take my progesterone test this cycle!

So, we'll be completely poor after we've paid our house deposit and everything. We'll probably only have a few thousand £s to our name and my car insurance is due in April too (I might do pay as you drive since I rarely drive anymore), so I think we'd wait until May for treatment, so that's at least 3 cycles away! I think by May, there's a good chance you'd be starting yours too so at least we can talk about it together. I just hope our cycles don't drift too far apart!

I think with his low sperm count, there's not much else that can be done apart from losing weight and taking supplements. The quickest way to get a baby is to therefore get treatment. It makes sense he suggested it. While I was busy blaming myself, he knew the only way to get me out of my head was to give me an out. I'm actually quite excited to get injected with sperm. It's something new to experience. 😁

Nope, I've never played the lottery before. I don't think I'm that lucky! Have you ever won anything? Even like £10?

Yeah, they actually did come to the bridal shop with me! Who would you take wedding dress shopping with you? Oh, so you're the first grandchild in the family like me?? So much pressure!

It takes me about 10 minutes to get ready after I've showered. I moisturise my body. Throw on some clothes and I'm good to go. If I really want to wear makeup. I'll put on some eye liner and that's me done! I don't really need to shave my legs. I'm basically hairless. I've never even shaved my thighs in my whole life.

😭 If COVID isn't over in 8 months then I'm going to give birth in London and stay with my parents. Both my sisters are out of the house, so there will be room. I'm really considering going private. My neighbour almost died as well from an internal tear! And apparently there was a lot of disorganisation. Food orders hadn't been filled out, no one from the different shifts spoke to each other, no one knew what was happening with the patients. Everyone was so busy. Nightmare. Luckily I'll have 9 months to save for it.

An estate of 8000 houses??? Sounds like a horror movie! My friend who gave birth last month bought a new build for close to £625k with HTB 😱 Even though our salaries would allow us to afford such a house I just think it's waaaaaay too much and too risky! Not only do you have to pay an expensive mortgage, you also owe the government money and the only guaranteed way to pay that back would be for the house to increase in value. I really hope it's worth millions in 10 years time. That's the only way this works! Would you consider buying a doer-upper?

Have you heard anything back about your application?

I used the white zipper and just encased it inside the dress. I still need to press it flat but it could look worse I guess... 🤷‍♀️

I don't play a lot of card games. I do like some of the games I suggested to you for Christmas. I really like playing exploding kittens. I've beaten DH a few times 😁 What's your favourite game?

Haha, me too, when I speak to my grandma, the conversation lasts for about 30 seconds 😂 I really want to visit her. Are your grandparents local?

I think £1200 is pretty alright for Reading. I used to pay £600 for a room in a shared house 😂 but a lot of it has been wasted money, so definitely happy we can start with the equity building! We have four couples viewing our current rental on Saturday 😭 I'm so sad! They currently have it advertised for £1250 but they're expecting the couples to put in offers so the rent could be even higher if there's competition! I'll send you the link to the house to see what you think.

Oh, your temps are very bouncy! I forget you're 4 days ahead of me. Can't believe we're at this point in our cycle again. Ovulation isn't too far away! I think I'll ovulate on CD14 or CD15 as my temps have started to go up and from the trend I've noticed, once they start increasing, I usually ovulate 6 days later. Either way, I'll start doing OPKs in 2 days!! We've also started DTD and I'm going to make sure I have a little play with my vibrator afterwards to help propel the swimmers as much as possible! 😁

With your previous partners, did you ever DTD around the time you ovulate and did they ever finish in you? I think I'm the same as you as I used to let my ex finish in me once I thought ovulation was out of the way. Little did I know that I didn't ovulate on CD11 (based on a 25 day cycle) so I must have been DTD right around the times I actually ovulated! But never been pregnant! Either lucky or infertile 😂

I'd love a microscope to see inside of me too! 🙁if only we knew exactly what was going wrong, then we could fix it!!! All we can do is speculate based on the information we have.

Oh gosh, sounds like a stressful few weeks for your DP. I really hope he gets the job! You definitely will need your savings while he works on getting a job. Would you consider postposing treatment until after he's been employed somewhere?

Yeah, it was actually DH who convinced me to consider getting the fertility treatment done. I wasn't too keen on paying for a baby! But I think it'll be the best way for the health of our relationship as well as our mental health!

Hehe, have you bought a lottery ticket?? Fingers crossed! 🤞🤞

Boys don't settle down for ages so there's probably another 10 years before the oldest has a child. I don't think you'd wait 10 years before seeking some sort of help! So it's safe to say your child will be the first grandchild in the family! Oh that sucks that you don't really know your cousins, do you think you'd reach out to them in the future? I'm close to all of mine. They were all pretty much in my bridal party and the one that's the same age as me was my maid of honour 😁

5:30am??!! But whhhyyy? Did you have to travel far? Even when I was commuting to the office, I'd wake up at 8am 😂 I don't know if work is flexible with hours, I've just always done what I wanted! I'm rebellious, if you haven't guessed by now!

I really hope that by the time we give birth that COVID will be history because my mum and DH's mum would probably come to stay for a while to help out. It must be so daunting being a new mother and going it alone! I hope DH still works from home then too. Would your mum come to stay with you do you think?

I could never buy a new build! Or use help to buy. It just seems like a bad idea. I'm still annoyed at how difficult it is for young people to get on the housing ladder without help! Yeah, there are a few ofsted-outstanding schools in the area plus it's the poshest part of Reading so definitely a lot of families would try to move to the area. I just hope they're not old and stuck up!

Oh, sorry to hear about your chest problems. Sometimes I get brief heartburn when I swallow the vitamins, but I can't say if it's from the B-complex or another vitamin, but it usually goes away quickly. Hopefully it's nothing too serious for you!

Ok, so if you don't get the job, you'd still have another job to go back to? Hopefully you're not feeling too worrisome!

I've struggled to find a zip of the same colour, so I'll just use a white zip 😢 Not much else I can do. I just hope it doesn't look terrible!

I think I'd like to breastfeed. I heard it really hurts though. Would you?

Ah that's perfect! I never remember the hands so that'll help a lot! Maybe I'll play against you one day. See who the better bluffer is 😁😁 Yeah, I speak to my family regularly. I'm just really rubbish at calling people so it's mostly through messaging. How often do you speak to yours?

I'm sooo jeaaalous!!! I don't want to pay rent!!!! We pay £1200 here 😢 Imagine what we could do with that in savings. So lucky! I think a baby trumps a house. You can always buy a house but you can't always have a baby, and you'll be spending the money on an amazing cause so you shouldn't feel too bad about it! I'd pay anything for a baby too.

I feel much better thanks 💕 Today has been a good day with work as my Alexa programme is where I need it to be! How are you? Busy day?

Exactly, I wouldn't want mine and DH's relationship to just be about baby making. I want more than just his sperm so I think the quicker we conceive the less stress we'd have to go through as a couple.

It's shocking right? I've read many other articles. Some even say out of 200 million sperm, only 10 make it to the egg!!! And that's probably with the right type of CM too!!! I think I can confidently say that not a single sperm has had a chance to meet any of my eggs! And on the rare chance they have, my short LP and AF probably flushed them away! Have you had any inclination that sperm has met egg for you? Maybe some sign of failed implantation? Cramping, spotting, etc?

Hehe! Looks like April/May will be interesting months for us. I don't feel as bad as I did about getting fertility treatment. I'd still prefer to conceive without forking out a fortune but at least the help is there. DH is still taking the vitamins so I hope it does make some improvement on his count. Is your DP accepting of the fact that you guys may need to go through IVF to conceive? I wonder how many celebrities go straight for IVF and don't bother with having to go through cycle after cycle of BFNs!

It would be so special if our kids grew up as friends!! Yours will be the friend they look forward to seeing when we take weekend trips down to Devon (or up to Birmingham!) I was lucky to grow up with cousins that are the same age as me, but I think for my kids, it'll be different as my younger sisters aren't anywhere near ready to conceive (unless they get accidentally pregnant 😱) Did you have friends/family close in age that you grew up with?

7-8am is early. I'm up 9am-10am 😂 I did work up until 6:30pm today, so I have absolved my lateness! I wouldn't say I'm the most on-time employee but I get my work done 🤷‍♀️

Yeah I think my DH will be very hands on! We even spoke about him taking a few months paternity leave while I go back to work straight away and he said he'd do it, bless him 😂 I'd probably be too controlling to allow it though! Do you think your DP would be hands on?

Oh I really hope we have young families in the neighbourhood we move to. Living next door to our current neighbours was amazing during lockdown, we had so much fun! I just worry that a lot of people our age won't be home owners yet so we'll be surrounded by the 40+. It will be interesting to see the sort of friends our kids gravitate towards. Hopefully they're nice and the parents are good people too. I can't be befriending the parents of a spoilt, entitled child. Do you have a lot of young couples around where you live?

Yeah the B-100 tablets are so big!! Did you get the Holland and Barrett ones? I guess there is a bit of a scent but nothing that immediately stands out as terrible. I think it should still have some effect halfway through your cycle. Hopefully your temps will skyrocket this cycle!

Oh it must be nerve-wracking knowing who your competition is! But thankfully there's more than one spot so that increases the chances of you getting the job! Will those who applied be out of a job if they're not successful?

No 😟 I didn't draft the pattern to include buttonholes and I've left the centre back unfinished with the raw edges and without enough fabric to fold back. The fabric doesn't necessarily need to be thin, but around the waistband, there's quite a few layers of fabric that has made it impossible for the zip to go past so it'll be better for the zip to sit on top of the dress instead of inside it.

I'm a boob girl!! I went through a second puberty in my early 20s and my boobs just kept getting bigger. So I'm really worried about pregnancy because I'd look ridiculous if they increased in size anymore! I definitely will get back to the exercise. I love feeling the burn so I'm the opposite to you! I'd rather eat whatever I wanted and workout than the other way around. I hate having to plan food and think about what to eat. Such a chore!

Glad to hear that! I only recently learned how to play poker and I barely know the rules so I'm not the best player but I reckon I'm good at bluffing and if that's all that's required, I'd probably win! Do you play games a lot with your family?

We've lived at the current house for 2 year. It's a nice house, and it has some special features that I will miss. But our newer house is better, if only for all the extra storage space it has!

Oh woooow! Does that mean you're not paying rent? I'd actually be jealous!

Definitely share your chart! I'm still temping and tracking and doing everything!! Wearing a bracelet that does all the work for you is the easy part! 😂 Here's my chart so far - nothing spectacular!

Thanks lovely. It was just a moment of extreme weakness. Sex just suddenly felt like this thing surrounded by so many negative connotations, representing all the things I struggle to do. My ability to get sexually assaulted which has led to my inability to get aroused, my inability to orgasm and now I have the inability to conceive a child. I was just so overwhelmed with how broken I felt with sex being the root cause of it all. I feel better now though. I want to mould sex into something positive, so DH and I will only have sex when we feel like it.

I googled how many sperm make it to the fallopian tubes and it's only about 1 in 14 million!! DH had a total count of 57 million which means only about 4 sperm make it to my tubes (but 4 could also easily be 0!) 😂😂 What a nightmare of a statistic. Very sobering. So after we've moved house, we're going to look into IUI maybe that'll give the sperm a helping hand to get to where they need to without dying on the obstacle course that is my uterus.

Yeah, DH was really upset that I was upset. I told him how I felt and he suggested we take a break. But the thought of taking a break and it still taking a long time afterwards isn't something I want to go through. I just want to get it over and done with. It's not fun anymore. But we've been laughing loads about the 4 little spermies that do make it 😂 What would you do in my situation? If your DP had low sperm count would you try and increase it or go straight for treatment?

You're right about the COVID and the spiralling down. This is such a hard time to be trying to conceive. Everyone's mental health is on the verge of fragmenting, it only takes very little to go over that edge now. I hope you're still staying strong. You seem to be dealing well with everything and you've been so lovely with me, if you ever need to talk please, please do reach out. You have me on insta but I'd be happy to even give you my number. TTC is tough and doing it in secret and not being able to share it with your nearest and dearest is hard. But I'm here for you! 💕💕

You and your DP must be early birds. DH and I sleep late and wake up late! I love my sleep so much. After kids, I won't have that luxury. I need to make the most out of it while I can! Are you looking forward to doing the school run? I wonder what the playground politics with the other parents will be like? Imagine if it's like school again and parents group together in little cliques. I hope I can make parent friends. It's hard making friends in your late 20s and even harder now with lockdown.

I think your range is good. You need to see a temp difference of about 0.4 between FP and LP to confirm sufficient progesterone, but I've seen pregnancy charts where their temps barely went above the coverline during the LP. Getting pregnant really is random. With only 1 in 14 million sperm making it, we need to get our uterus chock full with swimmers. It's the only way! I still can't get over how abysmal those stats are. I don't know if I should laugh or cry.

Yeah with B6, anything over 200mg is pretty dangerous. 100mg is safe enough but obviously not 100% as nothing is 100% safe. However 50mg still works as well, or so I've read. Every other day with 100mg should be fine either way! Have they arrived yet?

Eeeeee!! Good luck!! I hope you get an interview! How are you feeling about it? Do you know of any others who have applied too?

I'm not sure yet about fastening the dress. I bought two different zippers. I have two options; either the zip is sewn on top of the dress or is encased within it. The fabric is quite thick so an invisible zip didn't work, which is what I would have preferred. I wish fat would go on my legs 😭😭 I used to be called chicken legs 😭 Congrats on losing weight though. I know how amazing that feels. I probably will continue working out. I started last week and my legs were sore for days from the little squats I did 😂 baby steps... Are you working out as well or just dieting?

How's your brother? Hopefully he's much better now?!

The estate agent came and did a virtual tour thing. We tidied up the house so much, I even stored some things in my car so it looked less cluttered! I feel really bittersweet about it all. But I can't wait to move! Do you like where you're currently renting? Maybe I'll send you the virtual tour so you can have a little peek into my house 😂

I pretty much had an emotional breakdown and have been crying throughout yesterday and today. It's coming up to DTD time and the thought of DTD and knowing nothing will come of it really got to me. It doesn't help that my neighbour went into labour and I could hear her through the wall. Anyway she gave birth to a boy today. Happy for them!

Ah, sometimes when I have too much alcohol, I struggle to sleep too, or rather, I sleep but only for a few hours. I could do with some alcohol right about now if I'm honest. Just want to drown my sorrows away. I don't think I could go another 6 months of baby making, my sanity is starting to unravel pretty fast.

Do you have to do anything in particular to get yourself in the mood?

I'm not sure I'd be able to inject myself. I have pierced my own ears and septum but I don't think injections could be worse than a piercing needle, so maybe, although I'd probably have DH do it just to be safe. You might not have to inject yourself. They could prescribe you progesterone and all you'd have to do is shove it up your vagina. Sounds like a breeze.

I hate alarms! I don't use one. I let my body wake me up naturally unless I have an early morning meeting that I have to attend. I think we'll continue DTD in the evening. DH would have to get over his stress! Do you guys do it in the morning much?

I agree, I'd rather a short cycle than a 30+ day one. You'd have to wait for ages for ovulation and it'd just feel like sitting around doing nothing... Just waiting. I think I'd like my 25 day cycles but ovulate at CD12 or CD13. That would be ideal. I'd get the best of both worlds. Short cycle but good length LP. I'm curious as to how the agnus castus will affect this cycle. Maybe I'll ovulate at a different time or my temps will reach new heights! I don't think they could go higher anymore. I'd be surprised to see 36.9+. What has been your highest and lowest temp so far?

Are the inspections something you do then? or you just look at the photos and judge it from that?

Have you started your sewing project? I realised that some of the clothes I want to make, I can't, because I've put on weight differently than before. I have love handles now and I've never had them so now it makes clothes looks really bulgy at the sides and I hate it. I had to wear a corset to try on my teal dress because of how terrible I looked! I used to put fat on on my lower stomach and I could mostly hide that, but love handles???? 🤢 Where does most of your fat go?

I find it really funny how different we all are to our parents generation. They were married with kids by 25 and here we are pushing 30 and nothing much to show for our 20s 😂

Yeah, maybe the new home should be my focus now. I've lost all hope of ever getting pregnant so I might as well move on with my life.

I do wonder how much the fertility bracelet influences the shape of the chart because it completely removes human error. Maybe you'd find you get smooth curves too when you track with a bracelet. I actually did a chart overlay and it's interesting to see that my last 3 cycles (including this one) follows a similar pattern.

😟 Why've you been struggling to sleep? Are you nervous about something?

Your DP must have a high libido! I wish I could get aroused just by thinking of DTD. I guess that's how men and women are different. I can only remember on two separate occasions where I've been super horny just by thinking about it. One was at my old workplace. I was so aroused my clit was throbbing, I had to excuse myself to the toilet to calm down. The other time was before my Hungarian ex and I had slept together and just the thought of him got me there 🥵 When DH and I started dating, kissing him was like fire through my soul 🔥😂 I wish I still had that feeling. How's your libido compared to your DP?

If you're paying, I don't think they can turn you away. I told the clinic I went to we'd only been trying for 3 months. They probably thought we were crazy but still saw to us. Injecting medication 😱 Your DP would have to stab you with needles!! Unless you could do it yourself?

DTD in the morning would be an option except we always wake up late! I haven't checked DH for morning wood in a while! Just asked him and he said sometimes he wakes up with one. I have used it to my advantage before and woke him up to some sweet sweet loving 😂 You might has well just pounce on your DP every morning!

This is my 4th cycle taking the B vitamins. I think going from a 9 to 11 day LP is progress. All I can hope for is that I implant early so that my 11 day LP doesn't matter.

Does the work that gets done happen nationwide or is it only locally? How do you inspect the work? Just from photos? Since your working from home?

Things did somewhat progress with the Alexa programme and I feel like I have all the pieces I need but they're disparate at the moment and bringing them together in a way that'll work is proving challenging! I'll just keep trying. Not much else I can do!

Practice jacket is a good idea. Even I still practice because cutting into your expensive fabric and making a mistake is the worst feeling. Do you have a pattern for the jacket or will you make one yourself? I need to figure out what to sew next. I can't do anything about the teal dress until I have a zipper that'll work for it. Yes, for the waistband, I have two pieces of the dress fabric back to back and on the inside side of them, I've ironed on some interfacing.

With my teal dress project, the lining frayed too. I made sure to do the boring task of zig-zagging around the edges of all my pieces. Saved me a lot of trouble when constantly handling the fabric. You might as well get zig-zagging!

My neighbour pretty much had a symptomless pregnancy. She's due tomorrow! So I'll have a baby next door! Hopefully I won't hear any crying through the walls! I would have loved to be pregnant at the same time as here so we have little ones of similar ages, but life has different plans for me!! Are any of your friends thinking of marriage/starting a family/buying a house? Basically doing adult stuff?

I agree, it seems like we have another 6 months of being in lockdown. I just don't want to be driven to insanity. I'm mostly tidying up the house this weekend. The estate agent is coming on Monday to take photos of the property for prospective tenants 😭 This is my home! I don't want anyone else to have it, but it needs to be done 😭😭

Back is killing me but I'm nearing the end! Have no idea how to fasten it 😭😭😭 I'll reply tomorrow! Goodnight lovely 💕

Here's my very boring chart 😄 Still going down slowly. How are your temps doing? Have you started DTD yet? We'll be doing every other day this cycle. Hopefully we can start from CD8.

During you consultation will you explain your LP and your temps to them? Maybe that'll give them an idea of what's going on without you having to do tests. Although it might be tricky getting a prescription without any medical proof. Will your DP join you during the consultation?

Maybe look for the money back guarantee, that way if it doesn't wok after x number of cycles you won't have lost anything. Selling your eggs to fund something is a bit like selling your kidney's on the black market to pay for your gambling addiction 😂 or maybe not... What I'm trying to say is, you shouldn't feel like you have to give away a part of yourself to get something you want.

Haha I wish my DH was as keen as your DP. He's always so tired and stressed from work that he's not always in the mood. At least baby making is enjoyable for you guys! Will you be going at it everyday? 😂

Ah, understood. Yeah, it's good to get a B-complex but the one you want is B-50 or B-100. They have the dosage you need. And don't worry, it won't kill you! At least I'm still alive, right?!!

Do you have a baseline to judge quality of work on or is subjective? I've been soo busy today, hence the late reply. Was working on my Alexa programme, which has completely stressed me out, then went straight to my sewing machine to make some progress on this dress. It's almost there now. Should be done tomorrow or Sunday. How's your current project?

Haha. As long as I'm not moving, my boobs are fine. Sleep is ok too. But walking, or doing anything that makes them move is torture!! I just hope it isn't something I have to deal with during pregnancy! I'd hate it! I want a symptomless pregnancy. Would you want one too?

Nah, the mannequin doesn't really help me. I'm just rubbish at utilising them. It's not the right shape for my body so I'd have to pad out some bits to give it curves and rolls in the right places. But I'm happy to just keep using my own body.

Yesss! So happy we have hot water again!!! We couldn't even use the dishwasher properly!!

Any plans for the weekend?

Also, I don't have enough fabric for the straps! So I ordered some transperate straps from amazon at like 2am in the morning! I have some transparent findings too so I'll make the straps adjustable. I hope it ends up looking nice!!