Pre-conception, planning and trying!

@TheNewMrsW I think the ovulation you had was right, did you get the egg white after sex or after you felt a bit turned on? It might have been arousal fluid hanging around which looks similar consistency? I sometimes get a dip below my cover line in the lutual phase

I have now nearly convinced myself that I am pregnant mentally, whilst knowing that I can't be.

Why do we do it to ourselves. I'm not even TTC and have used condoms, my period isn't even late till tomorrow, and my temps albeit a rise today are low.

And yet.. 1 migraine and a tiny amount of spotting yesterday, (spotting outside the window for implantation bleeding) and I'm convincing myself I need to do another test today and therefore I have held my pee for 4 hours like a crazy person

Yet I know in my heart it is essentially impossible, and my period will come tomorrow.

I'm literally losing the plot, I used to be a normal sane human. Now I am a baby making obsessed madman

P.S yes FF is funny. It tells me off for my up and down temps 😂

@Curiosity101 I know it's not a clear graph is it?! Annoying as the first chart I did I was super pleased as it was textbook, of course as soon as I actually start TTCing it goes all wacky! At the moment I am inclined to agree that FF had it right at CD12, the peak OPK I got on CD11 was 1.06 on Premom and yesterday's only 0.96, and the other signs line up. If only the temp shift was clearer. I am starting to wonder how reliable the thermometer is my temps were much clearer a few months back, I am wondering if the room temperature now we're into Dec has something to do with it!

@CookieMonster3001 Your poor DH, I really feel for him. It definitely does sound like the pressure is coming from himself more than it is from you. Good luck, hopefully your plan works! 🤞😁

@TheNewMrsW Hahaha, your comments made me laugh! Your graph is really difficult to read. I reckon FF's initial ovulation day is correct. Especially if your most recent peak was less than the one a few days ago?

As a side note FF told me off today. Apparently my fertility signs don't add up 😂🙄. It's having a huff at me because EWCM always stops a day or two before I get my peak OPK which apparently is wrong 🤷.

Damn forgot the chart lol

@CookieMonster3001 this is my chart so far this month, what do you think? FF is still saying I ov'd last week though because I recorded EWCM yesterday it has shifted the crosshairs back to dotted rather than solid. LH this morning was low and the high yesterday was lower than last week's peak. The EWCM was such a teeny amount yesterday and I had quite a bit last week. I don't know what to think! Will do another OPK in a couple of hours. Apparently temp dips during the luteal phase are common due to fluctuating hormones so that dip yesterday on its own doesn't necessarily mean much. I don't know what to think 😂 but will DTD again today just in case.

Your poor DH it is such a pressurising situation. I was worried this would happen to my DH as he is a stresshead and a couple of weeks back after a TTC convo he had trouble staying hard even though it wasn't fertile window, he's really surprised me these last two week by rising to the occasion, pun intended lol. I think what may have helped is that I have used preseed before DTD each time so that we don't have to faff about with foreplay for me and made it about him and then started with me on top so he can just relax then switch to missionary. I am not normally so selfless when it comes to foreplay 😂 but I was anticipating possible issues with him feeling the pressure

@Curiosity101 i have suggested that to him but hes more eager to conceive than I am. I just feel so bad for him because hes really trying and I dont know how else to support him. That coupled with added pressures of just stuff going on its very hit and miss. Im going to try a different approach tonight by trying oral until he is ready, then he can finish in me instead and see if thats any better and it limits how much he has to do. I haven't suggested just holding out till fertile window just yet as I have read so much conflicting information about sperm production and keeping it healthy. We going to keep going but I have explicitly said its no pressure and if it doesnt happen it doesnt happen. We can only try our best I guess!

@CookieMonster3001 Meh, there's always tomorrow! I'm pretty sure we're having takeout for dinner tonight so you know... probably not worth weighing myself for a few days. Tbh AF is due today/tomorrow anyways, so I'm not going to want to do much other than eat and my weight fluctuates massively at this time of the month. I'll start tracking again etc on Monday.

Aww, it sounds like your DH has a really typical case of performance anxiety. It's probably exacerbated by the fact his libido is normally low (relative to current activity levels). It's such a normal reaction and it's no one's fault. I wish I had the magical answer for you both. Maybe less is more... would he prefer to abstain for the whole month up until the fertile window? Has he given you any suggestions about what would be better for him?

From looking at some of your messages it almost feels like perhaps going back to your usual schedule (but without contraception), or even taking a break from TTC altogether might be needed to give him some time to decompress. I hope that's not the case though as I know how excited you are to conceive.

@mackjm20 absolutely, I totally agree. Fingers crossed for us all for a Christmas BFP. Although caramel baileys does sound good!!!

@thenewmrsw oh no that sounds a pain in the butt!! From my understanding people can have multiple surges of LH but not actually ovulate although you had a small temp shift, it might be work DTD again and then keep an eye on your temp to see if it rises over the next couple of days.

@curiosity101 thank you!! Then I flopped yesterday and ate a massive bag of popcorn haha, I know thats not too bad as it could have easily been a grab bag of salt and vinegar crisps, but still feel a little guilty! lol... fingers crossed for all of us!! I cant wait to start seeing some BFPs in this group! And also, I would cave and buy in the sale. I bought a pair of maternity pants a couple of years back even though wasnt TTC and they were my fat pants for when I ate too much!

@sunflowersaremyfav93 we didnt go for preseed this month, but I did get some conceive plus which we used last night! fingers crossed!! I heard that some people get UTIs with it, but I seem to be fine! Your OPKs are looking good!! I would keep testing! Like I said I went from a super low, to a super high in 24 hours! When I started doing OPK's I would do afternoons, and now I have found my FMU is always the best to use and get the strongest results so I have stuck with that now. I have told my mum that me and OH are TTC and my sisters know as well so I am not going to drink (unless I get a BFN just before) and I know they wont really push it! Lucky we tend to pour our own drinks at home and the ladies in the family are more bothered about food then alcohol so I am not overly concerned about being forced to drink!

@TTCWC2 I always do my OPKs in the morning now as I get better results and its always confirmed with by CB digital so I haven't had any issues with using FMU

Wierdly enough, I had another peak today. I am sure I read somewhere that ovulation is always based on the first peak that you have so I am going to assume I am still due to ovulate today (will confirm with temps tomorrow) and DTD again today. OH is struggling again with DTD regardless or morning or night. We had another chat about it last night and he really struggles to stay hard during DTD and I think its because he is overthinking it. I have tried not telling him when I am fertile and I have tried telling him as well and both didnt really work. He is worried he has erection issues, but I pointed out that its not a regular thing. I just think he always has it at the back of his mind. Not really sure what to suggest. We managed it in the end last night, but it took about 4 attempts and TMI warning, when he did eventually ejaculate, he wasn't fully hard so I dont actually think it deposited properly (a lot of it was on my arse when he pulled out - sorry!). Really struggling on how to support him. He has no issues on the weekend mornings, but anything weekday he struggles with and for the last 3 months my fertile window has fallen during the week. He did mention that he feels his sex drive has dramatically reduced over the last year or so and when we are not TTC we usually only DTD once a week, and sometimes once every 2 weeks.

@TTCWC2 I totally agree with @TheNewMrsW. I do them twice daily (morning and afternoon). My peak has regularly been in the morning.

I know it's often said that LH would be higher in the afternoon, but that doesn't actually make sense to me. Your LH peak/surge will be relative to ovulation and if it was always higher/surging in the afternoon then surely people would always ovulate at the same time of day as eachother? The only thing I would say is to be aware of how diluted your urine is. If you did a morning test and an afternoon test and they came out similar LH levels, but the afternoon urine was way more diluted then it's fair to say your levels have probably increased since the morning test.

Brilliant thanks you @TheNewMrsW

@TTCWC2 you can do them in the morning, the CB fertility monitor does it in the morning. The only reason they say afternoon for most of them is that LH levels tend to be higher in the afternoon, but if your wee is always very diluted in the afternoon I would do them with FMU too. I have had very high readings with FMU. Personally I would test at least twice a day though or you might miss the surge as it can be short lived. Try limiting what your drink for a couple of hours in the afternoon and then going.

Well my bbt is back up to just above the cover line today so who knows what is going on..... think I might jump DH when he gets in today just to be sure 😂

@sunflowersaremyfav93 given that you aren't ttc just yet I think you should allow yourself a few drinks at Christmas! That isn't going to hurt and you need to have fun, you never know, come next Christmas you might be heavily pregnant or have a newborn! Assuming I don't get pg this cycle I will have a few Christmas Day and Boxing Day because if I don't my family will definitely start asking if I'm pregnant. If by some miracle we do catch this cycle I think we'll have to tell the immediate family at Christmas as again they will guess anyway if I don't have a drink!

Hi ladies, sorry to jump in with a quick question but just wanted your advice!

I'm currently doing OPK's as on CD13 and have found that my levels have been really weak. I do drink a lot of water and so my urine can be very weak/ pale (sorry if TMI) I did an OPK this morning with my first wee which is obviously a lot darker and had a much better result. Premom could actually pick up my test line rather than being near 0. I know a lot of advice is to do the tests in the afternoon but does anyone do theirs in the morning/ know if any reasons why it can't be done in the morning? Thanks!

@sunflowersaremyfav93 I am lucky in that I'm spending Christmas with my bfs family and they don't drink! However Christmas Eve is with my mum and she will expect me to drink so I will have a glass and claim I don't want a hangover for the drive the next day :)

Oddly the period that was early has turned out to be random spotting- which also had cramps which made me think I also didn't know how to use condoms- 🤣 but it was negative. Aunt Flo should arrive tomorrow putting me back around the 20th

Bodies are so confusing! I have never had random spotting before

@sunflowersaremyfav93 DP grumbles about me talking so his sister about everything (not EVERYTHING sometimes things are sort of one way because otherwise its weird)

DP did vegetarian for a month as a challenge and now he's stuck like that it was before we met and it's soooo annoying. I worked with someone who would pick something to give up every year, he did alcohol one year, coffee another and then maybe added sugar or something. He was suuuuuper disciplined with it and quite crunchy/healthy

@sunflowersaremyfav93 I think SIL will guess because we've been talking about it and how my body wasn't working how I'd like and that we were trying, I hear about her body/period complaints and vice versa

I don't drink anyway so not an issue but there's going to be a lot less people around at xmas this year? So less people to fool. Can you water down or swap your drink with the non alcoholic stuff? Guess it depends how much you normally drink

@sunflowersaremyfav93 I'd definitely test first thing if I were you.

And I also don't see any harm in drinking whilst TTC or in the TWW and would never judge someone for it (assuming they're drinking responsibly of course). Personally, I abstained during the TWW with DS but, if I'd had a family occasion I'd potentially have had a drink or two. It'd be easier/less stressful to have a drink than to get all the funny looks and Spanish inquisition.

Over Christmas, I intend to drink as usual more or less. Christmas day almost certainly falls in my TWW and seeing as we'll be surrounded by family I'll definitely have a few glasses of something bubbly. I might make some excuse about being the one who has to get up early with DS though, so that'll be the reason I'm not drinking much. Or I might get DH to make me some virgin G&Ts. I might also throw a few 'I've been working so hard to lose weight so I don't want to throw it all away by drinking loads' into the mix.

Thanks @sunflowersaremyfav93 feels really oddly like one in one out. Will be the third I've taken DD to.

Only DH knows atm but I'm dying to tell SIL who is basically my BF but he doesn't want to tell one sister first and not the rest of the family. Might need to do some more wheedling or just have her guess

@sunflowersaremyfav93 Is it correct that those last two tests are 30 minutes apart with different samples? If so I'd say that's a pretty sizeable jump for 30 minutes, so if you often peak on CD15 I'd say it's highly likely you'll peak tomorrow as expected. I'd definitely test first thing in the morning.