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Conception

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Original poster

Everyone's pregnant but me - any positivity in this?

43 replies

Pregh · 16/11/2020 22:39

Ladies,
Has anyone found some coping mechanisms and tips on how to feel good and positive about the TTC journey (which is much longer than expected) whilst literally everyone around me is pregnant or giving birth right now?!

I am very happy for them, and this is not a competition, and everyone's time will come... However... it's hard...
I want to change my mindset to feel like it's easy to get pregnant because every month is a brand new start...but we've been going for nearly two years now, we're both healthy, it's just not happened yet..and we're both getting fed up with it..we want a baby so much.
End of complaints ☺️
I am grateful we have a lovely relationship and supportive family too (although why did half of the family get pregnant this year and we did not... that's the hard bit to swallow).
Anyone feeling like this? Or anyone got any suggestions on how to feel better about this please? ❤️

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Original poster
Pregh · 25/11/2020 13:47

@lepardprint thank you :) yes, feeling better! Hopefully it'll stay that way ;) thanks a lot

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lepardprint · 25/11/2020 13:16

@Pregh just caught up on this thread. It sounds like you are in a much better head space and being so positive which is fantastic! Really glad you're okay! That's brilliant all the tests are out the way.. lots of women fall after the hycosy too xz

Original poster
Pregh · 24/11/2020 22:41

@MrsDrambuie good luck for Monday!!! Indeed, it's a step forward! Really thankful for all the hospital staff too, working in covid times is extra pressure, but they're doing a great job!

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MrsDrambuie · 24/11/2020 22:39

I’m glad the HSG went ok for you @Pregh I’ve got mine booked for Monday and I’m actually looking forward to it! (Because it’s progress, and I spoke to my doctor about it in February and then Covid halted everything).

On the jealousy point, it’s completely normal to feel like that and no-one should feel bad at themselves for feeling that way. Our bodies are designed to carry a baby so it’s perfectly normal to think we are going to do it one day. Then it seems so unfair that other women can do it but you can’t (or it just hasn’t happened yet).

Original poster
Pregh · 24/11/2020 21:55

@MrsDrambuie I had the HSG yesterday and i am soooo relieved!!! I was stressed and worried about it, felt crap from the antibiotics and painkillers i was advised to take beforehand. The actual procedure was uncomfortable but not painful, not even half pain compared to my period cramps, and it only lasted like ten minutes. Reeeeally had nothing to panic about! I guess i am lucky,i know someone women have more unpleasant experiences.
The results were good too! And we have actually now received all of our fertility tests results - all ok! On one hand, i am very happy that there's 'nothing wrong with us'. On the other hand, it's a bit frustrating that it hasn't happened for almost two years.. despite no health barriers...
Anyway, trying to look at the bright side - we're learning more about our bodies, our relationship has grown even closer, and we'll cherish the baby so much when it comes to our lives! (Plus have time to make maternity savings:))
Good luck to all of us!

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Original poster
Pregh · 24/11/2020 21:49

@Chica1990 dont be sad please :( think the baby soul that's awaiting you somewhere in the universe - you want it to be happy when it looks at you...
I know it's hard, especially with close friends having babies, but you're definitely not alone! There's sooo many of us on this forum feeling similar..and also i bet you have some other friends or family who are either in similar situation or can empathize with it.
It's going to happen for everyone when the time is right, just keep hanging in there...
Sending you positive vibes! When you're down, try to think about happy place and memories..look at happy photos..try to fake it until you make it.. it's ok to be sad for a while, but make sure you have these little things to cheer you up when you're ready!

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Chica1990 · 24/11/2020 19:56

I’m having a low one tonight. I can’t believe it’s been this long that I’ve had no positivity.

I said to my friend last year I’d be annoyed if I didn’t have a baby in 2020 and now I doubt it would happen in 2021.

The same best friend who has now started maternity leave to have her baby and I feel there is weird tension between and I don’t feel like we can talk about anything other than her baby

I just feel so sad and alone :(

Original poster
Pregh · 20/11/2020 07:24

@Ashesandroses so sorry for your loss ❤️ you're not alone either. If you feeling like crying then cry..your body is doing it's best and somehow your perfect baby soul will find you again when the time is right.
Jealousy is the hard bit, because it's natural but it doesn't feel good. I try to focus my mind on positives - for example - i really want my mum who lives abroad to be in the UK when i have my baby, she wouldn't be able to be here now due to covid, so i am grateful that our perfect timing will come when it's best for us.
It's hard but you can do it! Fingers crossed for you! 🤞

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Ashesandroses · 19/11/2020 22:39

You're so not alone. Its the worst so wishing you lots of luck in your journey.

A friend announced their baby news today and it is horrible feeling so jealous. I would have had my 12 week scan this week had i not miscarried. I've just been stopping myself crying all day.

Original poster
Pregh · 19/11/2020 22:27

Lucky baby powder to everyone then! ❤️🤞

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lepardprint · 19/11/2020 12:27

Thankyou lovelies!

@MrsChicken89 it was indeed naturally, completely out of the blue! I can't believe it.

As a few people have stated and I completely agree, it is definitely down to luck. I think as long as you have any problems ruled out, many of which have cures. You just need to keep going, I remember reading a statistic of a healthy couple have a 25% chance of conceiving in any given month, that's bloody low so it really is a case of just waiting for the odds to come in! X

MrsChicken89 · 19/11/2020 10:54

@lepardprint congratulations! Was that naturally? We will be 3 year mark in March also with unexplained infertility.

Usually I start spotting between day 20 - 25 but got to day 27 this cycle, first time in a while I've let myself get my hopes up.

Chica1990 · 19/11/2020 07:07

Thank you @Lou98!

Congrats @lepardprint

Original poster
Pregh · 18/11/2020 22:01

@lepardprint thanks a lot. Congratulations!!! You must feel so excited! That was a long journey for sure.
Thanks for your words, it's really important to acknowledge that i feel this way and need to process it, be kind to myself and so on. I am sure all of this is just make me more ready for when we get the famous BFP :)

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lepardprint · 18/11/2020 10:07

Hello OP. I'm sure all of us who have had difficulty conceiving can relate to all these feelings you have! It's natural to feel sad when others around us have something we so desperately want. On a plus side it's great you've had fertility testing. Good luck for your upcoming hcg.
I found out I'm pregnant just last week. It took us 3 years 5 months ( unexplained infertility) you will get there, take care of yourself and feel what you need to feel to get through xx

Original poster
Pregh · 18/11/2020 08:27

Thanks :D clearly i forgot that i mentioned it and dont read my own posts back hahahaha.
Indeed i am very much after all positive stories right now!!!
Thank youuuuuu

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MrsDrambuie · 18/11/2020 08:06

I had read your comment about HSG so yes I thought you’d like to hear a good news story 😊

Personally no, I wouldn’t say it hurt. I commented on a post about that recently - www.mumsnet.com/Talk/infertility/4070678-hsg-is-it-really-that-bad

Let us know how you get on! 🤞🏻

Original poster
Pregh · 18/11/2020 07:25

@mrsdrambuie omg i have goosebumps! I am booked in for HSG on Monday!!
Btw was it painful?
I'll take your advice and will be active in the week after ;) fingers crossed!!! And for you too!!!

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MrsDrambuie · 17/11/2020 23:42

OP, I could have written your original post myself a few years ago. TTC 2 years, no issues found, reflexology, had loads of friends who got pregnant quickly...

I got pregnant from DTD twice in the week after my HSG, they say the HSG flushes your tubes out and makes them slightly expanded for a couple of months after. My DS is now 2 😍

Conceive Plus is good because it’s sperm-friendly so you can use as much as you need without worrying about it.

We are now TTC #2 (it’s been 1 year so far) and I’m on the list for another HSG in December.

Good luck!

Original poster
Pregh · 17/11/2020 23:31

@bstrong0805 thanks! Let's hope we'll all have happy news soon! Good reminder about magnesium, i could do with better sleep.
I take vit c,b,d, folic acid and Vitex (only up to ovulation). I ordered the inositol now so need to research whether the vitex works with it or against. Dont want to mess myself up ever more!

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bstrong0805 · 17/11/2020 22:58

Same here - had co workers around me get pregnant and even when they told me and I tried to sound happy I’m not sure I did. Plus loads of cousins and freinds preg too. I think like someone said it isn’t a zero sum game so you still have as much chance irrespective of anyone else. I’m just hoping my chance and all of your chances come very very soon!
I’ve heard about myo insotil too and I started it this month on advice of my nutritionist so let’s see if it works. Other than that I take a pre natal, vit D top up and a magnesium at night to help with sleep.

Original poster
Pregh · 17/11/2020 22:47

@mrschicken89 thanks for sharing your story. Sorry to hear about your long journey... I've done all those things too..how frustrating isnt it...i am a planner and i like to be in control. So i think our long ttc journey is supposed to teach me to take one day/month at the time..and be patient.
Well done on the mediation - that is definitely useful. I am having regular reflexology sessions and that is so pleasant and relaxing too!
'Every man and his dog made me giggle' :)
Good luck with the savings and house decoration, great stuff to focus on!

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MrsChicken89 · 17/11/2020 21:10

We've been TTC since March 2018, so coming up to 3 years. Weve tried everything, sperms friendly lube, vitamins, bbt tracking ovulation strips etc but nothing has worked.

Im focusing on fertility meditation, I list to it before bed, its called evoke, and trying not to stress.
Taking the positives is that we can pay off our cc and save up a bit more, oh and finish decorating the house.

Like you every man and his dog around me is pregnant, some on the 2nd!

Lou98 · 17/11/2020 21:07

@Chica1990 www.myovacare.com/pages/fertility-pcos

That page on their website explains the different supplements they have and you can have a read through the reviews etc. As I say the only ones I took were the inositol tablets so I can't say about the effectiveness of the rest of them but I would definitely recommend giving those ones a try as I am 100% sure that that's what helped me get pregnant!

Lou98 · 17/11/2020 21:02

@Chica1990

I know how you feel. TTC since July 2019 and had an ectopic in October and loads of people around me are pregnant. They’ve even started having their babies now, it’s hard. My best friend is due to give her baby next month and I feel like she only wants to talk about baby stuff and I worry it’s out some distance between us.

I’ve read the book it all starts with an egg and made changes based on this to feel pro active which I think helped me conceive initially if you want to look it up. One of my friends swore by the ovusense vaginal device but I had already asked for an Ava bracelet for my birthday so going to see how I get on with that.

Thanks for the tip on these @Lou98, do you know how this fits into taking other supplements like conceive plus ovulation and fertility support?

I'm not really sure about the others. I just took the MyOva tablets, folic acid and Vitamin D (as separates, not as a prenatal). I also used the conceive plus lube.

I tried it out of desperation as it had been 18 months really trying the first month I took them and nothing was happening. I know on their website there is other ones that they recommend taking with them and I've seen a lot of reviews saying that taking the two together worked for them within a month or two of starting them. I'll go see if I can find them and post a link