TTC after MC - November 2020 (Thread 15)

@bez91 my DD is 3 also

@Bellabubble yeah I was surprised when they said they would investigate actually.
My gut feeling is that there isn't anything wrong specificall, I think I have just been unlucky.
Both my first mc and one of the twins seemed to stop progressing before heartbeat. The other twin, the couldn't see anything in the sac so I feel like its just maybe bad eggs which given I am 36 And it took so long to conceive would make sense xx

@MRJ86 congratulations! Exciting times! My husband is a twin - I said the other day because of my age and the 2 mc’s, I think I’d be ok with twins now because we’d get our 2 and I’d never have to feel anxious about a pregnancy again!

@elsimo that’s really good that they would do investigations, although I hope you don’t have to because your next will be your sticky little bean!! The hospital I’m with said they would only investigate if I had 3 in a row - if I had 2, then a child, then another mc they wouldn’t bother (although I would push for it as I’m 36..ahem..maybe closer to 37 now lol!) I saw the Aberdeen research too! I missed the 6month mark - first pg was Jan this year and second was this Sept, which ended up being 8 cycles apart. I’m hoping this time might be quicker 🤞🏻

@bez91 good luck for tomorrow. I was really anxious about mine but the whole team were amazing, I found they were really caring and thoughtful, and gave me lots of support!! Afterwards I felt fine too - mostly just tired xx

Amazing for the twins @MRJ86!

Hope tomorrow as well as it can @bez91

Out of interest does anyone on here have experience of TTC and autoimmune conditions?

@MRJ86 Ah twins! Amazing! And no don't leave us 😄 Several ladies have stayed on here after bfp because they got to know the ladies etc. I know that there are specific threads for talking about pregnancy after miscarriage but you don't have to leave, ever 😂

@bez91 Hope it all goes smoothly tomorrow xxx

@MRJ86 congratulations on twins!!! Amazing, was it a shock? I can't imagine getting my head around twins, you go through so much preparation for 1 then find out there are 2!! Haha.

@elsimo snap sounds similar to me with DD now 3😆 husband looked at me and got me pregnant literally the first time we used no contraception 🙈
Reading on here just today MM is so so common

@MRJ86 wow that's fantastic news - double congratulations!

Haha, aww thats lovely.
Keep us posted about ur twins.

Yes, I think I will have more regrets if I don't try than if I do. I'm sure if there was a definate medical reason they would clearly say not to!

But yeah I will prob kick myself if it happens again and think I should have waited.
I guess because it took me so long to conceive the last time the chances are pretty high i'm not gunna conceive straight away anyway xx

@elsimo no, mine sorted itself out and luckily I didn't need any further management. Also, my sister miscarried at 9 weeks and got pregnant straight after and now has a lovely 2 year old son causing all sorts of mischief! So I think it's more a personal choice (unless they give you a proper medical reason). Xxxx

@bez91 sorry you are in the same position 😩. It's actually scary how common it is.
There is actually some research by University of Aberdeen that says if u fall within 6 months of a mc u have better chance of success.
Two in a row must be horrendus.
U know it makes no sense at all because I don't even think I properly tried for my daughter, spent a week in Cyprus absolutley pissed and was drunk the friday before I got a positive test on the mon 🤷‍♀️.
With my first mc I passed everything naturally myself and had one period then fell pregnant xx

Aww thats lovely @MRJ86.

Did u have surgical managment after the mc.
I'm just gunna crack on and try as soon as, I need all the help I can get with conceiving xx

Hey @elsimo & @Bellabubble interesting to
hear your thoughts on this as I'm too in the same position (surgical management tomorrow) and wondering what to do after that but you do make a good point @elsimo about lining and it obviously being good enough to implant but then again this pregnancy was straight on the back of another MC so it does make you think. What a mindmelt!

*@Bellabubble and @elsimo just wanted to reach out to you and say I'm so sorry for what you're going through! It's all such a head f*k isn't it?

@Bellabubble I hope you get some
Answers soon.

@elsimo I wanted to share my story in the hope it gives you some hope! I miscarried at 7 weeks on 18th September and found this wonderful wonderful group. We weren't actively going to start trying straight away but we fell pregnant before any AF even arrived. I've had a 10week scan today to attempt to date the pregnancy as no LMP to go by as well as a private scan at 8w for anxiety and I'm actually carrying twins! Mental. Sorry if it seems insensitive to talk about this in here, but I just wanted to say that I was told I could try straight away by one midwife and to wait by another. So far everything is looking ok. I don't want to tempt fate and am still really anxious (obvs). This group has been amazing for me as although I've not spoken too much it's just been such a support to me (and I'm scared to leave).

Wishing you the best. Xxxxx

Ah sounds like he was amazing!
I had a mc before my little girl so they have said if I have another mc then I will also be referred for further investigation.
I don't really have heavy periods at all at normal times but i'm kinda thinking that if the lining wasn't thick enough it wouldn't even implant so we wouldn't even get pregnant.....
My thinking is u only need the lining to be thick to implant and once thats happened then the lining wouldn't affect miscarriage!
As for hormones.....i've no idea how that works, except i'm a crazy hormonal bitch 🤣

@elsimo that is my thinking too - if I had a third mc I would be sat thinking should I have waited! So far I have actually been very pragmatic (obviously sad, but understood that it was completely nature etc). It’s so hard to know isn’t it! My OH and I have been ok conceiving wise - it’s getting one to stick for me! If it’s just bad luck and chromosomes then it is just luck of the draw, but if it’s hormones etc for me, then waiting could be good. I kinda think at my age, it’s a 20% chance each time - so maybe just try anyways! The Dr said I could call the EPAC when I fall og again to be monitored, but he is here from Kenya to learn more about minkmal access surgery, so although that is completely what they do and I think what they used to do here, I know they have pretty much stopped all extra support and reassurance scans until you have had 3 in a row :( Technically I could name drop him - but I also don’t want to get him in trouble as he was so amazing when I was freaking out about the anaesthetic and all the google horror stories I had read!

@Bellabubble
I'm exactley the same as u, 1 weeks post surgical management. I have done 2 hpt and they are really light, I think they will be negative by the end of the week.
Hospital and GP both said I can try as soon as test is negative and actually encouraged it because it took me so long to conceive this one.
I know what u mean about the lining etc tho, I am going to try but if I mc again I maybe will blame myself for not waiting a full month.

@susiebluebell I hope you get some answers soon! So frustrating to be stuck in limbo!!

I’m one week post surgical management, not spotting anymore, and bbt is back down below my cover line. Haven’t done a hpt yet though as I’md rather wait a few days and be closer to seeing a negative than get a reminder of what was!

My Dr told me to leave it a month before trying (he is the good OBGYN who I trust completely!) even adding, I know you track and confirm ovulation with BBT so dating isn’t an issue, but it will let your body build up the hormones again etc. I’m in 2 minds - obviously I want to get back started again - but last time I remember having a 31day cycle and af was lighter than normal..by quite a lot! As I’m currently on 2 mc in a row - should I give it a month for my uterus lining to build up properly again? I remember last time having a scan 2 weeks after the mc (about 1.5weeks post bleeding) and they said my linkng was thin like it would be at the beginning of a cycle. Would implantation be affected by a thinner lining do you think - I’m thinking I need to give my third potential bean the best chance of sticking!

@Mizzler @elsimo @smarty4 Thank you so much for your kindness, it really makes it so much easier to go through all this. 💕
@elsimo I feel you on not looking forward to scheduled sex and tracking! It's fun the first month and then it's just a drag.

@Mizzler I recognise what you write about being disloyal to the baby you lost. I wrote about this a few weeks ago only I think I phrased it as betraying. That's how I felt - because I wanted to get TTC again as soon as possible. The grief for the lost possibility of that child comes in waves I've found. At first I was fine and then after a few weeks I felt terrible, then back to fine etc. It's mind-blowing how attached you get to them even in such a short time. Every loss is very real to the mother, even if it seems ott to outsiders. Here with you xx

I think that's understandable to feel like that in having to go back to square one @Mizzler I feel the same tbh.

@susiebluebell thinking of you as well and sorry you are going through this it must be very frustrating

Totally get that @Mizzler.
I'm desperate to start trying again and sometimes I feel like I am just brushing the two I have just lost aside but I'm 36 and it took me 18 months to conceive this time so I need to crack on really.
I am dreading the whole scheduled sex and trying to conceive again tho xx

@susiebluebell I have been thinking about u, sorry ur body is messing u about, totally not fair xxx

Sorry - just feeling a bit fed up today.

Keeping my fingers crossed that you get a BFP at the weekend @susiebluebell.

So this is our first month ttc after my mmc in September and I'm feeling pretty emotional. Did anyone else feel a bit like they were being disloyal to the baby they lost by etc again or is it just me?! Plus, I get hyperemesis when I'm pregnant, which is partly why we waited for a while after the miscarriage, just so I could have a bit of feeling normal again, and I could spend time with Dd. I can't believe I have to go back to square one with another pregnancy and go through the whole first trimester again.

@MSG92 Ah I'm glad the nausea isn't as bad, that can just ruin a girl can't it 😂 So chuffed you're getting along OK xx

@susiebluebell yes, they aren't always the most sympathetic are they... You have great willpower!

I'm OK, still anxious, my symptoms have died down a lot but I do put my sickness bands on as soon as I get up so thats probably why. Had a lot of bloating yesterday which was unpleasant! Still haven't got an appetite though which I blame covid for.

@MSG92 No, haven't called the GP yet. I'm kind of reluctant to for some reason. Maybe being told by professionals to wait and see would be worse than saying it to myself 😛 I do think I'll buy in some more tests this weekend and go from there. How are you getting on? Xx