The Turkey Baster Gang (gobble gobble)

@Oilyoilyoilgob that sounds really hopeful! Hope the results arrive quickly.

I lost my soul mate cat a couple of years ago and was absolutely floored by it for about 6 months (still tearing up typing this), it's so hard when they are getting older and you just want to keep then with you forever

I'm glad husband is being supportive, but sometimes there's nothing worse than an optimist

Could you find just one ttc thing to let go of for this one month to make it feel less pressurised?

@Oilyoilyoilgob I'm being good, I promise.

I was prescribed propranalol for anxiety a couple of years ago, having reached breaking point. I was really scared of going to the GP to discuss my mental health, but he was so supportive and listened to all my worries about finding a solution that would work for me.

I am sending all my best wishes to you and your feline family.

It sounds like you really need a break from everything right now, let alone ttc.

I hope your husband is able to take on board your need for him to back the fuck off right now, as well as supporting you. It sounds like a break from ttc pressure is probably the thing you need most right now. Make sure he is aware that your mood is unlikely to be helped by feeling like he is piling on the pressure.

You can afford to take some time out and it sounds like you really need to

BORED!!!! So BORED!!!!!!!

Felt very crappy this morning and early afternoon, now feeling better and having to resist the temptation to catch up on housework etc.

My previously all day but not too bad nausea got a lot stronger today, and boobs have been very achey for more of the day, so hopefully those are good signs and not just hormones running their course.

Thank you @DinkBoo - how are you feeling today? Resting loads, I hope?

Good luck for this month @MrsKin90!
Our attempts maxed out at twice in fertile week due to dh's lack of drive. And that was for a whole month so you have all my sympathy.

More gentle virtual hugs @primrosechill and fingers crossed for next month

@eloiseislost your lightbulb implantation comment really tickled me! Wouldn't that be grand?

@MrsKin90 good luck with your insemination - hope you manage to hit the perfect time this cycle :)

I cracked and tested this morning - BFN. Had my morning coffee with a side of a brief sob... Whey. AF hasn't arrived yet but it's due later today - I tested with FRER and all of my unusual symptoms (spotting, breast tenderness etc.) are gone so they must have been PMS. So fed up...

@MrsKin90 It sounds like you are doing the right thing under the circumstances, strategically timing things!
Maybe start inseminations around the time of your ovulation cramps? It won't be too long now if your cervix is high. 🤞🏼

Yeah that makes sense, I don't think that would work for my OH either though. He'd find that too awkward I think! I usually do get ov pain but since I started taking Myo inositol I get lots of 'ovulation cramps' which I actually think are little cysts popping as a result? Just a massive guess though as who knows what's going on in there!!

@MrsKin90 Ah I see, that's a tricky one then! My DH also has a generally low sex drive, so our setup for fertile week is basically me handing him the soft cup, he goes away in his office, does whatever he needs to and then hands the goods to me. We have decided to keep TTC completely separate from our sex life, it seems to be really taking the pressure off.
Do you get ovulation pain? Maybe that can be another sign you can use to time insemination.

@eloiseislost the issue is my hubby has quite a low sex drive and usually two times a week is max when not ttc, but he said he'd try to do as much as possible, but he's only going to manage it for a short period of time (i.e. EOD for maybe a week) which is why I'm even wondering at all! 😊 also thought it would provide a good distraction for everyone 😂 Otherwise I'd just do as often as possible, which isn't that often, and hope to time it correctly (which we have seemed to according to my BBT).
Bless you, I hope you hold out and don't start testing too soon! 😊

@MrsKin90 I would say keep inseminating as normal, just in case this is an odd cycle for you with less EWCM!
Haven't tested, 5 or 6 DPO today, but I'm embarrassed to admit it has crossed my mind! 🤡

@primrosechill haha it felt a bizarre thing to say 😂 BFNs are absolute rubbish and there's only so much you can take. I'm trying to think of AF as life's pregnancy test! No judgment if you do test of course, but if the spotting is a hopeful thing (🤞) I've seen people say you shouldn't test until it's finished.
@eloiseislost the cervix does move around! I only check mine in the morning 😊 it tends to be lower in the afternoon/evening regardless but the mornings have tended to coincide with my fertile time going by BBT and EWCM!
Interesting about the softcups - although I guess that makes sense! I did wonder if I was a bit dehydrated but have been drinking absolutely loads since Saturday to see if it make a difference 😂 tbf I drink lots of water anyway, another reason I'd never manage with OPKs!! Maybe my EWCM is hiding wherever my cervix has gone. I hope you've recovered from your food hangover and haven't tested yet!!

@primrosechill I'm sorry you are feeling low, I completely get it. It's such a frustrating feeling, knowing that AF is approaching. Of course, you'll read tons of stories here about BFPs that came after women were sure AF was arriving. The limbo continues! Sometimes I wish there was like a light bulb in our belly that lights up when implantation happens, so we could see it right away! 💡🤣

@MrsKin90 Haven't had much luck locating my cervix but I've read that it actually moves during the day so it's not a reliable measure of fertility on its own. 🤷🏻‍♀️
About the EWCM, I had similar experience with you this cycle, didn't see much if at all when I wiped. But because we were using soft cups for insemination, when I removed it each time, WOW there was loaaaaads of it there. Soft cups sit against the cervix so when you pull them out, you can see what CM is there that might not make it further down.
Also dehydration plays a big part. Because I was obsessively using OPKs, I was barely drinking anything most of the day. Once I calmed down and drank normally, things went back to normal for me.

"Does anybody want to talk to me about my cervix?" has got to be my new favourite quote on here @MrsKin90 hahaha. Unfortunately I am completely clueless when it comes to this part of TTC but hoping someone else on here can help :)

And thank you for trying to be the voice of reason here and convincing me to wait before testing... I know testing before AF date is completely pointless really - it used to be exciting but now I mostly dread it to be honest after seeing so many BFNs!

@primrosechill can I convince you to wait to test until your spotting stops? 😊 I hope AF isn't on the way for you! 🤞🤞and you @bigsweetpotato!!

@DinkBoo I'm sorry to hear about what's going on, praying this is a sticky bean for you and just a bit of random spotting that stops quickly. Make sure you're looking after yourself xx

@Oilyoilyoilgob I'm very private in real life also! One of my friends keeps asking when are we gonna have babies and I can't bring myself to tell her we're trying as she's a 'don't try so hard' person but it's impossible not try when you have to do SI and that's what the majority of people don't understand 😒 I'd much rather not have to think about it at all and just have sex whenever but it isn't that bloody simple. I'm sorry you're feeling the lockdown. Have you got any little hobbies to take your mind off of things? I've been reading a LOT. I find my mind still drifts to babies and I forget entire paragraphs but it helps a little 😂 makes books last longer anyway!

Does anybody want to talk to me about my cervix? 🤣 I usually track it out of scientific curiosity so I know it fluctuates throughout the day but generally higher at O time - though I can still usually find it. normally I get lots of EWCM around now even if I don't O for several days but no EWCM, however, cervix has gone missing. A high cervix is meant to be a high fertility sign, but I don't have any EWCM 🤔 so. Would you think I should cram in as much SI as possible? We are going to try every other day for the week 😬 but don't want to waste it on the wrong time, equally don't want to miss it! So I was waiting for EWCM but not getting any 😳

@DinkBoo so sorry you are going through this - it's so dreadful not knowing what's going on and worse yet when you can't get medical attention fast. Some of my best NHS experiences have been with the EPU - I think you'd have to be a massive asshole not to understand the levels of stress that a pregnant woman is going through when she thinks something might be off! Make sure to rest and look after yourself - sending big hugs!

@Oilyoilyoilgob thanks for a lovely message! Where in your cycle are you atm?

This thread truly is one of the loveliest places online. I'm so glad we all have a space away from the real world to talk, and rant, and cheer each other on.

I have some friends who I definitely wouldn't talk about any of this with even though we have known each other, but also luckily a couple of (coincidentally both Indian) friends who get and give literally all the tmi-est of details about everything.

Had GP call, literally the best NHS encounter I've had, she tried to book me into the EPU, but at the moment they are on the wait a week and retest regime, so I am on 'bed rest' for a week and just keeping an eye on myself. GP was very apologetic about it and good at balancing the odds versus hope spiel.

So yeah... am still watching and waiting and hoping for the best.

It's going to be a long week.
Unless things go wrong sooner than next week.

Aaaaarrrrggggghhhhhhhhhh.

I was so busy being lovely I forgot to reply to earlier posts

OH is ok, I think he is just as confised as I am, if not more, as he doesn't have the practical reference points for anything, having never been a woman.

I got through to the GP this morning, eventually! Waiting on an 'emergency' call back in 3-4 hours

I'm still testing positive, was exoecting it to have faded this morning, but nope. BUT my bleeding got heavier (still officially spotting, but looks more like start of period, and have had quite a few small clots since saturday am).

I have the self-referral number for the epu (had to ask a friend for it having failed to find it myself), so I should probably just ring them whilst I'm waiting instead of waiting on GP..?

Thank you both for just being lovely - I love having this thread so I can vent when needed. I love my real-life friends dearly but none of them are currently actively trying for a baby so I feel like every time I speak to them about this, they slightly look at me like I live on a different planet.

@bigsweetpotato, sorry to hear about your BFN. I know the thing to say here is "you're not out until AF shows up" but I also know what it's like to just KNOW you're out, with all symptoms pointing to it. My pregnancy tests arrived today but I will wait until tomorrow - unless I get my period first - so I can test with the first urine of the day. Oh I have been reading up on short lutheal phases, too - how long are your cycles at the moment? Mine have been only 23-25 days recently and lutheal phase around 11 days which is on the short side. If it's any consolation, I have managed to get pregnant once (even if I MC'd) and I also had my tests done and they all came back fine - so it might be nothing

And to you too @bigsweetpotato!

Ps @primrosechill I'm really sorry I couldn't offer any words of wisdom to help you feel better. But please know that you're not alone in this journey or how you feel! We will get there together x