The Turkey Baster Gang (gobble gobble)

@Lori23TTC It looks aaaaaalmost as dark as the control line, so I think, if you account for hydration and time of day, you probably peaked shortly after this test was taken.
When do you usually ovulate? Did you have other signs, like egg white CM?

@Makingnumber2 I get the whole race thing I feel like that too. It does really feel like everyone is pregnant at the moment but that’s because I’m so aware of it now. We are all on our own journey and I know it’s hard but must try not to compare to other people.
I just refer to it as ‘the goods’ 🤣
So I think I’ve ovulated but as I’m not doing bbt I can’t be sure. I started OPK from CD7 and it got darker each day, I’ll attach a pic of my darkest one this cycle which was CD13... I’ve just done another one and nothing on it at all. Which would mean I ovulated on CD13/14 - very early for me! I didn’t think this was a peak tho as it’s not as dark but it’s my darkest one, what does everyone else think? Xx

@eloiseislost don’t worry I knew who you meant it for and your name for it made me laugh. I think maybe I might call the syringes baby sticks and the deposit pot, baby pot to try and sweeten the process for DH. I’m so pleased the call went well. You are such a good friend to be able to put your feelings to one side and do the call and I’m glad you felt good for having done it too.

@Lori23TTC I do the exact same thing about names! So currently two of the girls in my friend group are TTC. And it’s only a matter of time- it will probably be this month tbh! So I feel like it’s this weird race/competition. Neither of them know I have been trying for 6 months already. I don’t really want to discuss it with them cos it just puts me in this weird frame of mind like it’s a race. So stupid I know but that’s just how it makes me feel! Thanks for your tips on getting the disc out. So I did it standing up with one leg up on side of bath. I was initially trying to hook it from underneath but only got success when hooking it from over the top if that makes sense. I will try on the loo next time.
Also quite a few people have said tmi on their posts lately and I just wanted to say please never worry about tmi! My personal opinion is that ttc and all things related cannot be held to the same rules as Tmi

Hey everyone I’ve just caught up...

@eloiseislost yes that’s a premium thing but I think it’s great your hubby sees it as a competition - makes it more light hearted!
Well done for going ahead with the call with your friend... sounds like it went well. It’s completely understandable that you feel like that though and you are not a bad person! I used to get so excited when other people announced pregnancies but now every time I see one I want to cry. I found out another girl in our friends group is pregnant this weekend and I felt so left out as we have been ttc for so long.. struggled to feel happy for her tbh.

@MrsKin90 sorry you had a dip this morning... we are not growing bbt this cycle but similar to what you said it means I have no idea when I ovulate so won’t know what day I’m in the tww. Not sure what stress is worse the bbt every day or the not knowing. You have SI a lot tho so you still have a very good chance.

@Bluey18 I’m sorry to hear this.. me and my hubby have had many a stressful nights due to doing it this way and some cycles we just completely missed as he was so stressed which made me frustrated and you both just feel shit.. we have got into a system with it all now after so long so it’s a lot better these days. Just give it time to get into a rhythm you both are happy with.

@Makingnumber2 I’ve had EWCM since CD7 so that’s when we started SI every other night but waiting for ovulation like you. I wish my body would just do it on the same day every cycle! Re the soft disc when you were taking it out in the shower how were you standing? The only way I can take it ou lot is on the loo... I sit down and push a little as if I’m having a poop and it kinda dislodges abd I hook my finger in and pull it out slowly... never had a problem doing it this way. I hope it gets easier for you.

We have already picked our baby’s names and every time a friend of family member announces a pregnancy I think they better not take our name!!! X

@eloiseisnlost That's ok, it's good the chat is busy enough to get us confused and honestly I will take any and all tips no matter who they are aimed at . And I'm glad your call went better than expected earlier, sorry I missed that post

Oh damn, I meant to tag @Makingnumber2 🤦🏻‍♀️ Ignore me tonight, I'm just knackered! I should log off really! 😂

Oh sorry, it's @MrsKin90 that is doing a "just in case"! Good luck!! ❤️

@Bluey18 So glad you're feeling better and excellent choice of coping strategies! 🛀 🍫
Another tip that I found useful was to give DH the illusion of choice! 😂 Hear me out on this: as women who track their cycles meticulously (OPKs, temps, digging for CM and cervix position 😁) we know when the time is right and we have to SI. But men, I found, even if you explain to them, they still can't wrap their head around the concept of fertile days. Deep down they think you can get pregnant at any time. So even though on the days leading up to ovulation my brain is screaming "GET THE SPERM!!!!" I always try to appear relaxed to DH. I'll say "Looks like we could squirt tonight, but only if you're up for it". In the beginning, he used to occasionally say that he's tired but they key there is to try to silence your brain and just leave it. Eventually we are now at a point where he looks at the timing scores on FF and volunteers to do it on his own! He feels that the pressure is completely off and I'm laid back about it.
Don't be discouraged if your DH is negative at first. It'd be kind of odd if he wasn't to be honest! If you both want a baby, and it sounds like that's the case, then he will adjust to the new norm of TTC. 🙂
Good luck on your SI tomorrow! 🤞🏼

Thank you so much ladies. I actually took myself upstairs earlier for a long warm bath and a big bar of chocolate, it was much needed . My cycles being all over the place is just frustrating me, years ago I was always 28 days exactly. I lost an ovary 3 years ago due to large cysts (sorry TMI) and since then, cycles all over the place. My doctor told me I shouldn't have any more difficulty getting pregnant because of it but of course your mind runs away with you. DP and I are nearly at the point of going for tests for both of us but unfortunately out of the question with Covid so we will continue on as we are for now.

@mrsKin90 I hope you are 3dpo, but absolutely no harm in having a "just in case" SI! Talked to my DP and he thinks he'll be up for a "just in case" SI tomorrow so if we can we will, but I'm not gonna put any pressure on him. I wish I could do BBT to confirm ovulation but unfortunately it has never worked for me, I'm a terrible sleeper and I wake a lot at night, it throws all my readings off. I can imagine it is a pain having to do it every day though .

@Sydney1986x Phone call went better than I thought, it wasn't long because it happened in the short window of time between the baby's meal and the parents' meal! It was so nice to see my friend again and we talked about her having to go back to work in 5 weeks and my TTC woes. It was almost like old times! 🙂

@Bluey18 I'm so sorry to hear you are struggling but you are not alone. I think each of us and our partners have had to come to terms at some point with the fact that our fertility journey would be different than most. As others mentioned, there is an element of ego and pride for men on top of that. What helped my DH a lot was actually this thread, when I showed him how many couples use this method for one reason or another and that, at the end of the day, it doesn't matter how you get to where you want to be -so long as you get there. TTC is not "about the journey". I know a lot of couples who conceived the conventional way and with a few exceptions who conceived in 1-2 cycles, everyone felt frustrated, disappointed and sad at some point in that journey. So is it really any different to what we do? 🤷🏻‍♀️
As for names, we call it "squirting" because we used syringes for a couple of cycles before switching to soft discs and that's kind of what you do with the syringe! 🙈🙉🙊

Good luck with the just in case one @MrsKin90! EWCM is a great sign. I usually it every cycle by now but haven't... which is worrying me a bit, I have a lot of CM but it's all watery.
I did my OPK today CD14 and it was v faint but yesterday I didn't even get a squinter so I'm getting there and hope the EWCM hurries up! We did get SI done in the end today and I used the soft disc after for the first time. V easy to insert but wow... I've just had a really stressful 15 mins trying to get it out in the shower. And I now feel quite tender internally if that makes sense?? I'm not sure if I want to use again... I know I'll get better at removal with practise but I don't want my poor cervix black and blue! I literally felt like I needed my fingers to be able to bend in the opposite direction to get it out easily- which of course they don't, hence why it was a struggle!

@Bluey18 oh no! That's so frustrating for you. I hope you've missed your peak and get a surprise bfp earlier than you expect 😇🤞 but stress can definitely impact ovulation. Waiting for ovulation is super bloody stressful in itself. Make sure there's wine or chocolate or a bubble bath (all three if you're me) to see you through your pit party. I think sometimes we have to hold our hands up and let life make these decisions on our behalf as we can't control everything. Will you SI when you can just in case?? I'm all about doing "ones for luck" 😂 I'm not sure I give the most practical advice.

I'm having lots of EWCM now, but that's not unusual for me at 3dpo if I have in fact ovulated, and obviously normal if I am in fact about to ovulate. So will SI tonight if hubby can manage it, "just in case" 😁 but then I'm giving us both a break! I wish I could just not do BBT this cycle but last time I did that I had a 50 day cycle and had no idea what was going on 😂 has put the fear into me.

Thank you @MrsKin90 and @Bluey18 for your kind words. And MrsKin I think a softer and sillier name for it is just what we need- so I will attempt to come up with something! Your comment about angrier sperm moving faster made me chuckle out loud too!

Bluey I’m sorry to hear about the pity party. That is super frustrating about peak still not showing and also your DHs meds being tweaked. BUT as you’ve said- if the peak has been and gone you’ve got it covered because you’ve done so well with your SI frequency this cycle and if the peak hasn’t arrived yet then there’s still time for more SI and that allows your husbands nethers a bit of recovery. So actually either way I think you’re winning. Stress can deffo knock everything out of sync so perhaps you can get some yoga videos out and nice candles over the next few days and just embrace the zen to try and counteract work stress? I know it’s easier said than done but maybe worth a shot! I love the headspace app for 5-10min little bursts of deep breathing and re centreing or if work is really mad I try and do my deep breathing in the loo (not always the most pleasant environment but needs must!)

@Makingnumber2 Sorry to hear that things are tough right now. My DP was against SI for a long time and even now he gets frustrated at times. I think he blames himself (even though I assure him it's "OUR" issue and everything we do to get around it, we are in it together) and also there is a bit of ego involved. I think it's harder for men in some ways, so much of their self worth is wrapped up in whether they can "perform" and I don't imagine many of them would reach out to talk to others like we have here. I really hope things will improve soon. If he's like my DP, he may just need some more time.

@Sydney1986x I've everything crossed for you too that AF doesn't rear her head! I'll be thinking of you tomorrow!

I'm having a bit of a pity party for one over here. In the last 11 cycles I've always gotten my opk peak between CD11/12 and CD19 (irregular cycles) but I'm CD19 today and nada. It's possible I missed it but I've been testing twice a day and I've had none of my usual symptoms so I doubt it. I did have an incredibly stressful 2 weeks at work so that might have delayed it. To top it off, my DP had his medication dosage tweaked (the meds which cause his DE) which always effects his sensitivity down there which means no more SI for a few days. We managed on CD12, CD14 and CD16 so I suppose best case scenario I ovulated around then and missed the peak on the opks, or I'll ovulate in another couple of days once DP's system has time to regulate. Aaaaahhh 🙈😐😂

@Makingnumber2 that sounds really difficult. It's a very intense thing emotion-wise as nobody wants to have to do it this way do they? I would say you'll both feel better after you've done it as the anxiety will fade a little and you'll feel worse for not trying and "wasting" the cycle. Maybe agitated sperm will have a bit more energy and get where they're going faster?? 😁
This sounds absolutely ridiculous 😳 and I'm a bit embarrassed but in case it helps you, we don't ever call it SI, I don't even refer to it that way in my head any more. We literally refer to it as "the baby makers" all of the time, which might make everyone cringe so hard they die and I'm sorry 😂 calling it something a bit silly seems to take the edge off of it? It makes it sound a bit nicer and a bit more easy to approach. Although we've been doing it for so long now maybe we're immune to the whole thing. I really hope it goes okay for you both X

@Sydney1986x fingers still tightly crossed for you!!

@eloiseislost I'm just reading all about the Greek gods! I'm reading Mythos by Stephen Fry. I'm not a fan of him or his writing 😂 but the Greek gods are very interesting. It's nice to include some of your heritage and when your baby comes along I'm sure the right Greek name will spring out at you 😊

@Sydney1986x keeping everything crossed AF stays away and you get your BFP when you test!

@eloiseislost I think it's totally understandable you're feeling like that and I'm glad you felt you could share hear and hopefully people's responses helped you realise you're not some awful person for feeling the way you did/do. Well done for deciding to go ahead and do the call- I'm sure it means a lot to your friend, but you're also right to be thinking about the best ways to protect yourself too and all your feelings around the call and her baby are totally valid.

We're doing our first SI today although not really feeling it tbh as DH has just been really cross and snappy with me over something pretty silly that happened yesterday. Yesterday wasn't a good day tbh. I think partly today's he's feeling anxious and cross about SI- I know he has mixed feelings about it- he hates the fact we are having to do it and I know he feels a failure that we have to. I've told him so many times it isn't about being a failure and it's just there's a hurdle right now (well for the last however many years... which is now insurmountable without a more creative way over and SI is that. I made the error of calling it SI in front of him yesterday and he got really cross and said 'do you have to call it that?' and made some not so nice comments about what the terminology made him think of. I totally get why he feels like this and I wish he would just talk about it more openly and calmly and regularly rather than just have these outbursts of crossness which then leave me feeling crap and anxious. I've tried to say to him today that I need to not be made anxious because it's counterproductive to what we are trying to do. Ugh anyway- sorry to ramble on. Realistically I just need to get on with it because otherwise it'll be a wasted cycle.
Hope everyone else's SIs have been going well this cycle.

@eloiseislost I had a really similar situation to you re face timing my best friends newborn. It went better than I thought though, to be honest. If you need a cry afterwards, just be and feel all the feels- it’s okay!

Personally I found it harder when she face timed me out of the blue to show me her scan pic as a surprise. I was mortified by my lack of reaction and I am ashamed to say I even pretended I had poor WiFi as I just fell apart 🥺. If felt like someone else ‘beat us to it’.

I hope it goes ok, let us know how it goes and if you need some support after. xx

@MrsKin90 Similar thing happened to us! When we got our cats, DH didn't want to have children and I was, at a subconscious level at the time, upset about it. So I gave my cats the names I would like for my children: Apollo (God of light and music) and Artemis (twin sister of Apollo - Goddess of hunting, the moon and healing). Might have been for the best come to think of it, they may come across as pretentious names for a kid.
But I just wanted to keep something of my heritage. 🤷🏻‍♀️
Oh well, there is no shortage of names, I'm sure we'll work something out when that time comes! 🤞🏼

It is a premium feature. You with your premium features you didn't know you had 😂 at least you're using what you've paid for!!
I must admit I had a big chuckle about her using your cat's name, bless her. I always refer to people's baby as "baby" as I guess they're not "Toby" or "Felix" (or indeed "whiskers"!) Until they've got a bit of personality, unless you're their parent of course. We actually named our cat and then months later realised we love it as a baby name... But definitely can't use it as it'll be very confusing for all involved 😂
Well done you for making that hard decision, make sure you're extra nice to yourself and forgiving of yourself for however you feel during and afterwards ❤️

@MrsKin90 Maybe it is a premium feature, I don't know! It's called Pregnancy Monitor and it is located on the Analysis tab, under Detailed Interpretation.
Sorry about the dips, it's so frustrating! I decided to stop taking my BBT this cycle, I have switched the FF interpretation to OPK only because I am 99% certain I have ovulated and if I didn't, well then, it wasn't meant to be this cycle, like you said! I also have a flair for the dramatic! 😄

Kin & @Bluey18 thank you both for your replies, they really made me feel better! I am certain my friend would understand if I explained how I feel to her, there is no doubt in my mind. But she is also at a very sensitive and vulnerable place, understandably. The other day I messaged her to ask "how is the baby today?" and she asked me why am I not calling him by his name and if I'm upset because she gave him the same name as my cat! So she's not her usual, rational self and that's perfectly understandable.
(I should note, she didn't name the baby Whiskers or anything like that 😹)
I love her very dearly and I want to be part of this new chapter in her life, so after the boost I got from reading your messages, I decided to go ahead and do the video call. I can't avoid it forever and I'm sure my friend is over the moon with the new baby but may also be struggling as all very new mothers are and I want to be there, even if it's just on video (thanks COVID 🙄).

Blue, you make a good point about the newborn stage. I find that slowly every day I seem to be less and less sad when I see photos. It's almost as if when he was just born he looked like any other baby really and my brain was saying "this could've been yours". But, as he grows, I can see the resemblance with my friend and it feels like I slowly realise that no, this is not your baby and it could not have been, it's someone else's and it has nothing to do with you. Such a funny cognitive process! 🤷🏻‍♀️

@eloiseislost Your DH sounds like my DP, I've just stopped short of double daring him , that will probably be my ace card at some point .
It sounds like you are being a wonderful friend while trying to protect yourself. Could you speak to her about it? You don't have to say anything harsh, you can say you are so happy for her but you are still coming to terms with your MC and you're not quite ready to meet him. If she is a good friend she will understand.
The thing I found, both with MCs I had before I had DD and now when I'm struggling TTC again, was that the pregnancy and newborn stage was the hardest part when my close friends had babies. Once they got that little bit older suddenly they were "Jack" or "Ava" and not "a pregnancy", "a newborn" and the feelings of hurt would start to heal for me. Sorry I'm not sure I'm making sense but basically what I'm saying is that what you are feeling is perfectly natural, that there is every chance it won't last forever and it's ok to be kind to yourself and put yourself first while it does

@eloiseislost I wonder if that's a premium feature of FF too?? I've never seen it on there? I've had a big drop on my BBT and RHR today so not sure I have ovulated. Bit too early to convince myself they're implantation dips 😆 so I've asked hubby for the goods today so we'll try but if not then it's clearly not meant to be this cycle (ha so dramatic).

The situation with your friend sounds really difficult and heartbreaking. You're not allowed to hate yourself though! I get you want to feel something for your friends baby - I'm the same with my friends pregnancy as I cared so much about the first one and I can't gather the energy to not feel a bit bitter about it.

I think if I were you I'd probably do the call, meet the baby, don't try to feel anything but treat it as if you're meeting any other new person. Plan it for just before lunch or something and say you've got a walk planned so have to leave after half hour? Stop putting pressure on yourself to feel anything.
If you can't face it, which is fine btw, would she understand if you told her why??

I've actually started talking to my real life friends about TTC, not the method, but how long it's taking. And it's really helped it not feel like a secret misery.

@Lori23TTC One thing that has worked for my DH was appealing to his competitive nature. Since I showed him the Timing Analyzer on FF, he wants us to get all the green dots and get a High score every cycle! He's like a child, I feel like I'm trying for my second! 🤣

I'm having a bit of a dilemma today. My best friend of almost 30 years had her baby in November, right around the time I was miscarrying. She lives in Holland so I haven't visited them yet but she sends me countless photos of him every day. He's a gorgeous wee boy but I feel absolutely nothing when I see the photos. Sometimes I don't even open them and just reply with a series of heart emojis and say something generic like "Awwww he's growing up so fast" etc. I feel dead inside. She's been very busy of course but she told me she wants to video chat today so I can "meet" the baby. And because she knows me better than anyone else in the world, I'm scared she will know that I don't feel anything and that my misfortune has made me indifferent and perhaps even bitter to her happiness. I don't know what to do! It's not like I can pretend I'm busy, we're in lockdown! I hate myself even typing this, why can't I be happy for her? 😞

@eloiseislost ah you’re lucky your hubby is so willing... mine is good but I always have to ask I never get offered the goods 🤣 I hope this is your month!! We all put so much effort in surly it’s our time soon! 🤞 having a lovely chilled sat night 🤍 x

Fingers crossed AF stays away @Sydney1986x 🤞🏼🙂

DH wanted to SI tonight, so here I am, full of sperm again! 🤣😂🤣

I hope everyone is having a relaxed Saturday night! ❤️