The Turkey Baster Gang (gobble gobble)

@MrsKin90 ah thank you! I told him when he came downstairs this morning. Couldn't help but get a little upset when I did. Our docs has an app where you can fill out a form for a bit of a consultation. Never tried it before, got a bit upset when I was filling it in, but feel a little more optimistic now I've got the ball rolling. It says they should get back to me in the next 2 days, but I'll maybe give them a little longer to make allowances for covid chaos.

Ah @bigsweetpotato sorry to hear you've been so upset. I know we all handle things differently, but if it helps, my plan tonight is to have a long hot shower, crank my music up loud and have a cry/sing I think.

Letting myself feel sad today, but hopefully will be feeling more positive by the weekend. I guess if there was any doubts about whether I want kids, there is now certainly no denying I do!

Hope you're all ok? X

@Birchybirch I'm sorry you think you're out ☹️ I've stopped telling my hubby when I start spotting and wait until AF starts properly as mine has stopped started a few times and caused false hope for us both!! Get a tattoo or a piercing and looking into your options might make you feel better!! At least you'll have a course of action to follow??

@bigsweetpotato so sorry AF got you. It's normal to be so upset no matter how chilled you were. TTC is absolutely shattering!

Lots of hugs to you both! ❤️

So AF showed this morning :( and for whatever reason I had a complete and total meltdown about it this morning about it even though I've been pretty calm all month and knew there was a chance that I'd missed ovulation... TTC is so tiring isn't it?!?! 😭

Morning, hope you're all OK? Looks like I'm out again this month. There's been spotting for a couple of days, which seems to be getting stronger and redder, and last night I had my usual pre af headache. Pretty gutted, but hey, such is life.

Trying to cheer myself up by making a plan. We said in the new year if we weren't successful, we'd seek medical advice due to my age (i was 36 in the early summer). I'm going to have a see what my private heathcare through work is all about (I suspect GPS and the NHS in general will be pretty busy right now with covid/vaccination). In the meantime, I'm switching from ss ttc vits, to the bog standard fa from boots. I've not really had any cm since taking ss, and I don't like how it's meant to "regulate hormones" so I'm moving away from them and going back to basics. Might also look into getting some of that pre-seed incase my cm doesn't come back quickly enough for this cycle.

I bought a voucher for a tattoo/piercing shop during this 2nd lockdown. Think I'm going to book in for an ear piercing to cheer myself up/Christmas present!

Haven't told my husband yet, think he might be quite gutted 😢 Here's to 2021! May it be kinder on us all! X

@primrosechill a "filter that out" option would be good!! I actually don't think I'll ever want to announce on SM when we get pregnant as I know how sad it can make other people! It's going to get worse as we get closer to Christmas isn't it? 😕

@eloiseislost it is okay to be sad ❤️ but positive pants are very handy also in my experience.

@Nej1983 that is a bit of a short cycle!! What day did you ovulate?

It's funny that so much can make us worry when ttc. We don't want short cycles or long cycles or short LPs or LPs that feel a bit too long! Is it too much to ask for a perfect 14 days each side?!

CD11 for me and was definitely panicking for no reason about ovulating early 🙄. As per usual!! No signs of O approaching but still early days for me.
Will be hoping and praying for BFPs for everyone in time for Christmas...what a hard time of year for lots of reasons!

@Nej1983 welcome to the short cycles gang! I want to look at the positives (more chances in a year!) but in reality I just obsess that something is off.

@bigsweetpotato I'm dreading Christmas as well - mostly because I know all my close family members will wish me a pregnancy because they mean well and know I want it - but instead it will probably turn me into an emotional mess.

@MrsKin90 same as you my current cycle is meant to wrap up around Boxing day - so it will be super merry or super drunken hahaha. I might also go off social media for the season. Woke up to another announcement this week. Wish there was a filter on instagram that allows you to filter out all baby posts - startup idea anyone?!

2020 has sucked for so many of us that I’ll be glad to see the back of it. I’m spotting today so looks like AF Is on her way. Another 22 day cycle by the looks of it. 🤨

@eloiseislost ah I hate that it happened to you, but glad that it's been straight forward.

I agree 2020 absolutely has sucked hairy ass! Hopefully 2021 will be a much better year for us all! X

Hello wonderful ladies! Thank you each and every one of you for your kind words and for thinking of me. 🙂
I went for a blood test yesterday, hcg dropped 70% to 62, so a sad but straightforward and uncomplicated early loss. 😔 Bleeding has almost stopped and no more pain. I feel much better physically and mentally, well, not as bad as I thought I would be. I just want to try again, I realised that this is my way of coping. If I just take a break and dwell on it, I feel like I will sink into a state of depression.
Had some sushi and wine today and I aim to start the couch to 5k program tomorrow, wish me luck!

@MrsKin90 I like your positive pants, I think I'm going to borrow them! 😅 2020 sucked huge hairy balls!! Onwards and upwards, may 2021 suck way less and be kinder to our hopes and dreams. 🌈

I genuinely get a bit panicked about ovulating early even though I literally never ever have 😂 it's just an anxiety I have. I actually only started taking my temp for this cycle today and it's at my usual post-O level 😳 but we've had the heating on so I'm sure that's why lol. I can't possibly have ovulated already. 😬

@Lori23TTC I'm sorry you're feeling a bit nervous about your HSG but I imagine anyone would feel the same! Lots of people seem to have success afterwards so fingers crossed there's some sort of magic there 🤞🤞

@primrosechill pre-natal depression is definitely what we should call it. It sounds like you're having a rough time ☹️❤️ My husband declared over breakfast that someone he works with announced their pregnancy on FB but described their infertility journey and he said 'it gives me some hope that it isn't just us' and I felt like falling to pieces because I hadn't quite declared us infertile yet. 😢 I also cry, a lot, at random. I hope you'll feel more positive about the way forward after your appointment on Friday! How are you feeling about it?

@Birchybirch happy tww to you! Hope the rest of it doesn't drag for you!! 🤞

@bigsweetpotato hopefully you haven't missed it from ovulating a bit later than you thought. Sorry your cycle has been a bit funny. Who knew these vitamins could make such a difference?? And they say they just make your urine more expensive! Clearly they do something (not necessarily what we want them to!). People are thoughtless with their comments 🙄 hopefully that doesn't happen!! How bloody rude if people do make any comments. I'd eat someone if they mentioned my weight ever 😱

Hello guys, hope you're all well. Sorry for not chipping in as much, work has been quite busy lately :(

@eloiseislost I'm so sorry, sending you lots of love.
@Oilyoilyoilgob hope your cat feels better soon

@primrosechill thanks for asking love, I'm ok but mightily confused about my cycle this month. I stopped taking the pregnacare vitamins and started taking the seven seas ttc ones and I think it's knackered my cycle and it might take a cycle to get used to them! My cheapie sticks and my temps didn't match so I think I ovulated later than usual (from temps) on CD16 and might have missed it. My apps are now estimating AF next thurs which would give a 29 day cycle which is around 3 or 4 days longer than usual. Not helpful!!! So I think I have a couple of days to go for AF.

I've got obsessed with temperature taking and can stare at my graph for ages trying to look for signs, but there isn't any!! Suffice to say I'm sick of ttc. Haven't cried this cycle though, I'm more fed up.

Also whilst I can't wait to see my family at Xmas, I'm also dreading it as someone is bound to make some comment about me putting on weight and am I, wink wink raised eyebrows, while I try not to cry!! Eurgh..... Wishing us all some Lady Luck that it happens for us all. You are all a lovely lot and I'm so glad I found this forum to share!! Have a lovely Sunday xxx

@primrosechill ah yes I absolutely think there should be a term for it! I've not quite had the same experience, but definitely feel frustrated/angry/upset sometimes. Please don't bottle up your emotions though, if you want to cry, just go for it! If you don't fancy making it too obvious, I can highly recommend the shower for a good sob!

Ooh I did have a quick look into iui when we 1st started on this journey in the summer. It's been very interesting reading the comments about it on here! I hope your appointment goes well!

I mentioned on here about the 7 seas ttc pills a couple of weeks ago. I noticed I'd not seen much cm since starting in the. I'm now torn between switching to just standard fa and vitamin d pills, or sticking with them and if/when we see a doc, seeing what they say about them. It does mention on the pack though about balancing your hormones (if I'd have seen that before I started taking them, I may not have started on them!)

Hmm nothing to report yet. AF is due next Fri, so in the words of Bon Jovi "were half way there!" in the tww! Thank you for asking! 🙂

@Birchybirch @bigsweetpotato any news from the two of you? I have it in my mind that your AF should be due shortly but I might be misremembering xx

@MrsKin90 CD8 does seem super early to ovulate like Lori said - are you temping this cycle? Has something happened to give you the impression that it might have happened already?

Is there such a thing as pre-natal depression? Because if not, we should coin the term for people who are just overwhelmed by the disappointment and heartbreak of TTC. I have been feeling really low the last few days if I’m honest, spontaneously bursting into crying while in the kitchen, on my laptop, going for a walk - you get the picture. Podcasts and baths seem to be the only saviours. We also fight with my hubby quite a bit, and by fight I mean I get angry at him for silliest things - I just don’t think I’m dealing with it all very well atm. I’m not 30 yet but I feel so much older than I am all of a sudden.

I need to shake off this megativity before Friday - we have a pre-IUI apt with the doc then. Need/want to be in a good headspace for the procedure itself.

@Lori23TTC don’t feel silly at all for being stressed about the HCG. Mostly due to my vaginismus, I get anxious every time I’m about to see a gyno, and so much more so when I know a speculum is involved. I’m sure it will be completely fine and hope you get some clear next steps from it ❤️ You say you might explore other options than SI - have you given it any more thought what it might be? (IUI, IVF etc.)

Sending you all lots of love. ❤️

@primrosechill oh and my cycles seem to get longer when I take ttc tablets... I’ve stopped the last few months and I’ve gone back to my 28 days I used to be 18 months ago before I took anything. Not sure if it’s a coincidence. My period was also 2 days earlier this month x

@MrsKin90 I’m glad someone has their positive pants on!! CD8 would be very early for you to ovulate? Maybe start SI today and then every other day until a temp spike? I’ve been ovulating slightly earlier in the last few months so I’m happy about that... hoping it continues. I have my HSG booked in for next weekend really worrying about it for some reason which is silly. But after that is done they can look into other ways to help Us as SI doesn’t seem to be for us.

@Oilyoilyoilgob I really hope your cat starts to feel better soon I can’t imagine what you are going through at the moment it just sounds awful. ❤️

@eloiseislost I hope you are ok I think about you everyday ❤️

@primrosechill sorry AF got you too 😢 onto another cycle for us both too! Easier said that done but try not to get to upset on the 17th... plan some ‘me time’ have a nice bath and put a funny movie on... can’t imagine how you feel too going through that.

It is all a bit doom and gloom but I agree @MrsKin90 that 2021 has to be more positive that this year! X

Reading back I think I pulled my Positive Pants on too high and they got stuck or something!!

I'm on CD8 and I'm panicking I've ovulated without doing any SI. And looking back I have this panic every single cycle. 🙄

Oh my gosh so much sadness in one page!!
Everything just seems to really suck right now doesn't it??

@Oilyoilyoilgob I really do hope everything goes okay with your lovely cat. Sounds traumatic for everyone all around!

@primrosechill sorry about AF ☹️ I have never had a problem with seven seas TTC tablets and if anything they extend my LP. However there was a thread on here the other day asking that very question! So clearly it must have that affect on some people's cycles ☹️

@Lori23TTC Ahh AF. I'm so sorry ❤️

@eloiseislost I'm so sorry for what you're going through but you're so strong.

I've put my Positive Pants on and I'm here to tell you that we are all super super strong and can get through everything that's going on and we'll have lots of lovely BFPs and dreams coming true, 2021 has to be the year 🌟

Hopefully Christmas will be more happy than sad for everyone (I know it's not a perfect time and have my own issues with it this year). And it will give us something to think about other than TTC and babies. I've decided I'll be having a two week wait away from social media to avoid all of those lovely baby Christmas announcement posts, and to give myself some breathing room from symptom spotting. I am forseeing my tww being over Christmas. And if AF comes for me again, that's okay because I believe in 2021 ❤️ 🤞

@Lori23TTC looks like we're cycle buddies - AF hit me hard today as well. Double whammy of early testing disappointment and now actual period pains - yay me...

Also, this came 1-2 days early, meaning i had another 23 day cycle. Really stressed out about this tbh, they seem so short nowadays. I'm just constantly anxious that something IS wrong with my hormones and that there is something the docs are missing. Either that or:

1. I am just a ball of stress and this impacts my cycles.
2. Maybe the TTC pills are not helping after all?? Anyone else notice their cycles getting shorter when taking TTC supplements?

We will try IUI this cycle. Just booked some check-ups next week in anticipation of that.

@eloiseislost big big hugs to you - hoping it will be over soon. My MC dragged on for WEEKS, even though they claimed it was a complete MC when I saw them, and it was absolute hell - hoping yours wraps up smoothly xxx

@Oilyoilyoilgob Not blunt at all, these are my feelings exactly. I want this to be over physically so I can deal with the emotional aftermath.
Thankfully my GP practice have set up an online request service so I was able to submit a request to be signed off work for a couple of weeks to recover. That gives me some comfort, I couldn't face going to work on Monday.
Thank you for all your kind words and support, you are so lovely.
I forgot to ask and maybe I missed a few posts lately, but how is your cat?

Thank you @Oilyoilyoilgob, it means a lot to have support, virtual or otherwise, it is equally comforting, in different ways! 🙂
Have more cramping today and passed tissue and clots, so I'm hoping that I will have a natural, complete miscarriage.
I'm hoping bloods tomorrow will be definitive. 🤞🏼