The Turkey Baster Gang (gobble gobble)

@sailormoo92 I'm glad you're not on your own and that you can at least have a couple of cycles to try again! I'll be crossing my fingers very tightly for you. I can't imagine how difficult that is!

@Birchybirch it's good to hear you've got the ball rolling. You do here a lot of people say they conceive when they start the fertility-help-process so maybe something to be said for that "weight has lifted" feeling. Happy weekend to you, I hope you love your piercing!

@Oilyoilyoilgob glad your lovely cat is still with you ❤️ you really do sound like you need a break from everything and some good relaxation. Maybe book yourself a spa day as a Christmas present? A whole day! It's doctor recommended I'm sure 😊 I hope the GP has some helpful advice, and whilst I get your husband being honest they should take into account that you have probably been trying for six months+ even if not intensely. Let us know how you get on.

I'm hoping ovulation is happening today/right now! But I don't know 🙄 also very tired so fingers crossed. Did SI Wednesday, yesterday and will do tomorrow but that's all we'll manage and after that will have to space it back out a bit.

Hope everyone is having as happy a weekend as they can!

Hi ladies, it's Friday at last, so happy weekend! (I realise not everyone works mon-fri, so apologies to those of you who are back in work over the weekend).

@oilyoilyoilgob what's the latest with your cat?

I'm about 3 days into af (hard to pinpoint as there was spotting for a couple of days), but feeling very positive tonight. I hadn't heard back from the doctors, so phoned them this afternoon. The receptionist was lovely, and she's got me booked in for a chat with a doc a week on Mon. Ironically this will be in my fertile window! I don't think I'll be having any tests until the new year, but I just feel so happy to know I've made the 1st steps in any medical interventions we may need.

I've changed my ttc tablets from the 7 seas ones, to basic folic acid, and a vitamin d tablet. Will see if my cm comes back!

I confided in my secretary a couple of months ago, because I work really closely with her (not literally of course), she is our mental health "first aider" for our office, and also because I know she also had her own struggles ttc.

She's the second person who's said she tried for around a year, was about to get tests done, and just so happened to conceive before they did any tests. It's probably sheer coincidence, but I can't help but hope that my story will be similar.

Also booked on to have my ear piercing on Sun so this will also make me happy! Early Christmas present to myself 🙂

I hope you're all looking after and being kind to yourselves. It's absolutely normal to feel upset, angry, and excited at what you're going through. It's an absolute roller-coaster this ttc lark isn't it!? One way or another, we will all get through this! (sorry for the essay!) X

@MrsKin90 I’m alright thanks - Luckily OH is here and we should have 2-3 cycles together to try again.

It puts the pressure on a little bit though as he’s going to be at sea Apr - Sept then I go down south Sept onwards so we’ll just see each other weekends here and there. And that’ll be til Sep 2023. Trying to think positive thoughts and hope we don’t need to put ttc on hold because of work again.

x

@Lori23TTC I know what you mean. Technically month 16 for us! But with inconsistent cycles and only starting syringes (rather than just using a menstrual cup) it's not been 16 cycles, but it does take it's toll! Hopefully Christmas gives us all something positive to look forward to! I'm alright I think? I'm CD14 today and no ovulation yet but lots of EWCM so fingers crossed not long to go.

@sailormoo92 I'm so sorry to hear that. I hope you're alright and looking after yourself. You said you're not always with your partner due to work didn't you? Will you have time to try again next cycle? I hope you're together right now so not dealing with things on your own.

@MrsKin90 thank you for scoring back to me... we used to do this but I think we have been trying for nearly 18 months now we are just a bit fed up tbh. I’ll try and talk to him and see if we can bring the intimacy back 😬 also we are both really busy at work so don’t have a lot of energy atm... looking forward to some time off at Christmas! How are you getting on? Have you ovulate yet?

@sailormoo92 I’m sorry you have a BFN 😔 positive thinking for your next cycle and try to have some me time for yourself xxx

Hey I posted a week or so ago - this is first month ttc using this method - I had positive frer & clear blue at 12 & 14 DPO but unfortunately yesterday at 16 DPO had a definite BFN and feel like AF is going to begin.

Fingers crossed for everyone for the next cycle x

@Lori23TTC I'm sorry you're feeling so down. I do have this frustration. I'm very jealous of people who can get pregnant just by having sex normally. You're not a bad person and not alone!

This is way TMI and might not be helpful at all so ignore me if it is 😳 but to avoid the lack of intimacy and making husband feel like a sperm delivery man, we always incorporate our intimacy into SI and just finish at the end into a cup with me... helping? Sorry if this is something you have tried or wouldn't want to try, but it's just that it seems to work for us so thought I'd mention it. We've worked so hard to get to a happy place with our sex life and if it wasn't for TTC I wouldn't be bothered at all about him not finishing during intercourse, and I wasn't willing to ruin that for TTC 😕

Not being able to fix things is the worst.
☹️ I'm sorry he's not willing to talk about it either as that's not helpful!

@primrosechill congratulations on your promotion... I’m sorry you are feeling negative I am too this month. I’m just feeling really sick and tired of everything! I’m annoyed at my partner that he has ED (but can’t express that to him as technically not his fault) and I just want to have normal sex, take ttc out of it I just want to be intimate with him but since ttc he just can’t do it at all now and I feel like it’s really effecting me... not sure how to even talk to him as he gets all shitty with me if I even ask to do something 🤷‍♀️ I feel like this could effect us more than I first thought. I’ve only really started feeling like this this month when I got my period. Does anyone else get like this?? Or am I just a bad person for thinking this 😬 x

@eloiseislost congrats on the mortgage I’m glad you have something to smile about with the new house. Lots of memories to be made x

@MrsKin90 I make this mistake all the time!! 🤣 Especially because my cycles are shorter than a month and I constantly think in cycles. Not done it in a work email yet but now that you said it, I'm going to be extra vigilant!

Today I learnt to sense check work emails as I should not refer to "next month" as "next cycle" 😱😳😂

Hi, there's not really much I can add to the convo except to say congratulations on the house @eloiseislost, and the promotion @primrosechill. I don't know how life works, I wish I did, but maybe these promotions and new houses were meant to come 1st, and the babies will follow shortly... 🤞

@primrosechill I absolutely know where you're coming from as I've had the same thoughts. ☹️😳 I've got a bit of a 'what is the point if I'm just going to get pregnant and miscarry like everyone else anyway'? (I know it's not everyone and is quite a callous way of expressing it).

Along with those on this thread I know three people in real life who have had miscarriages since we started trying/in a year. Two were standard conception and one was medicated IUI. So my feelings are it's less the method and more just life!! Congratulations on your promotion, hopefully it's a sign luck has turned and you're in for more good news before the end of the year!
@eloiseislost congratulations on your mortgage! Hopefully that's a sign too of happier times to come.

If nothing else it's nice to not be completely alone with this TTC rubbish and have all you lovely people to talk to!

@primrosechill Ah I see what you mean now about the numbers. It's true that in our sample, things don't look great, but it's a tiny sample. We are also different ages and have different medical and social histories. So it's very risky to try and draw any conclusions.
Having said that, I get how you feel. I think we all try to make sense of TTC because ultimately it is so random and cruel at times.
At least we have each other here, in this safe space, and we can talk about anything in our minds, our fears and struggles. I knew TTC would be hard and I thought it would be lonely. Turns out I was wrong about the latter. ❤️ 😉

And congratulations on promotions and dream home!

I'm glad 2020 hasn't been all shite.

I'm sorry so many of you are having a really crappy time at the moment

@primrosechill I'm not sure if it's reassuring or not, but we didn't actually use SI, and we lost one of two early on and have had a very constantly fingers crossed time hoping the other sticks around. Which may in part explain why I'm here at 20 past 4

Sadly/hopefully I think it's just ttc and early pregnancy, and we forget how common it is to struggle and have losses, as so few people talk about it openly. Especially in the first trimester. Then we come to a space where everyone feels safe to share and suddenly it seems like we're place where disappointment is normal and we forget the difference isn't the extent of the suffering, but the expression of it.

@eloiseislost I'm so sorry for your loss. I hope you are feeling as well as you possibly can physically and emotionally.

@eloiseislost congrats on your mortgage application - hope you get to grow a family you’re dreaming of in that house asap ❤️ 🏡

@restingwitchface86 @eloiseislost thank you for talking some sense into me... Eloise, when I said “6/7” I meant there is roughly as many of us on this thread who post regularly and who still struggle to get pregnant but also reality is between you, myself, Adrianna, and Oily it does also seem like the MC rate is high ☹️ but I know I also see what I choose to see and right now I just feel negative. And you are spot on - I know SI is the only method for you and equally (though for other reasons - vaginismus) it’s in many ways the only method for myself. I’m trying to keep positive but it’s hard at times.

I’ve decided to just go with the flow and accept that my promotion was just a sign that things were meant to happen in a certain sequence this year. Also, last time I got promoted I also got pregnant within a week so maybe it’s a good omen 😂

@primrosechill Have we had as many as 6-7 pregnancies lately?
Obviously as I'm going through a miscarriage right now, I too can't help but think whether it was the method's fault. But I know of healthy babies that were born because of that method and that gives me some comfort. Having said that, even if the miscarriage rates are higher when you self inseminate, I know for us there is no other way: delayed ejaculation, the NHS won't offer us IVF/IUI unless we've been trying for a year, we can't afford to go private. So my attitude is work with what you have and hope for the best!
Also, as frustrating as it sounds, the rate of miscarriages are estimated to be anywhere from 20-25% so they are not that low for the general population either. Miscarriage rates from IVF/IUI are even higher. It sucks but it's the reality.
I know this probably doesn't make you feel any better but my advice would be to not add any more stress to TTC, it's already excruciating enough.

Congratulations on your promotion, it is a big thing and a great achievement, regardless of the circumstances! I know exactly how you feel, so many women at work are pregnant right now and it's killing me. You hit the nail in the head there, we always want what we don't have, I think that's just human nature. Today we got approved for a mortgage for our dream home, which is huge and we hope to fill with kids. Meanwhile I'm bleeding out our first one. I'm sure couples less fortunate than us would be jealous of our house, but I'd rather I had the baby and lived in a tiny flat. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Also... congrats on your promotion! Think of it this way, it's great that you're establishing your career before baby comes along!

@primrosechill I'm using a donor, he's helped 7 women over the last two years and none of them took more than three cycles to fall pregnant via SI - he does have an exceptionally high sperm count which probably helps, but SI definitely works! I don't know what the statistics are for SI vs the good old fashioned method but I don't think they're drastically different.

Totally relate to doing well at work due to being the only one not having a baby too, I've recently gotten a bonus due to covering workload for a colleague going on mat leave. I've also been primed for promotion into a role where the woman who used to manage the department is now only working part time after her mat leave. The money is great and the chance to progress in my career is nice too but I'd rather give up the bonus and opportunities and be in my colleagues' positions, enjoying maternity leave or part time hours with my baby. It will be our turn one day!

@bigsweetpotato I’m so sorry AF showed her ugly face. You’d think we’d get more used to it by now but it doesn’t get any easier, does it? @Birchybirch let us know how you get on in the final days of the cycle.

I’m sorry to be a downer but is anyone else feeling fairly pessimistic about SI? I got pregnant this way once but it ended in a MC and I can’t seem but feel like so many on here have had a similar experience. I desperately want to have my positive pants on but it just feels like the statistics are not helping at all. Is this method working for us? I know anecdotally it does but in reality we’ve had what? ONE successful pregnancy out of 6/7 in the past few months? (@DinkBoo) I just feel deflated...

Do you want to hear something crazy? I just got offered a massive job promotion that I should be thrilled about but the reason I got it so quickly was because not one but TWO women on the team got pregnant in the past few months. It feels so bittersweet to know that my “success” has been accelerated because two people managed to get the one thing I dream of the most... fuck, it just really makes you wonder: “as women, will we ever stop being jealous of what other women have?”

Wowza, what a debbie downer - I’m sorry. Someone tell me something uplifting, please?!

@bigsweetpotato I'm so sorry AF got you and the meltdown is totally normal, we've all been there! Allow yourself to feel whatever it is you are feeling. TTC is torture, because it feels like you're battling against impossible odds with no reassurance about the outcome. You are incredibly resilient and strong for even putting yourself through the process! Virtual hugs 🤗

@MrsKin90 I ovulated on day 11 on this cycle when I went for IUI’s they triggered ovulation for day 9. My lining is thick enough which is good news but I was worried about the cycle being short. The FS we were dealing with said that anywhere from day 20/21 is ok which was a relief. I use to be bang on the regular 28 days so I’m guessing it’s getting shorter with age