The Turkey Baster Gang (gobble gobble)

Thanks everyone! You're all so lovely 😊 ❤️
@Makingnumber2 I didn't sleep well, but the weather is better today so that's a good start! I've woken up feeling really sick, probably too much stressing yesterday, so trying to just breathe through the drama today. How are you doing lovely?

How is everyone else doing?

Sorry for monopolising the thread for my woe-is-me meltdown!

@MrsKin90 I'm so sorry you're feeling like this at the moment. It's totally understandable that you do, but doesn't make it any easier. I am sure your friend would be mortified to know that her comment made you feel so terrible- I do wish people would be more mindful of things like this- you just never ever know what people are going through when it comes to TTC and even if you don't know someone is TTC I just think it's always better to err on side of caution and sensitivity!
Getting DH's sperm checked in New Year is a really positive step that will hopefully bring you one step further forward on your journey to a BFP. I hope you're feeling a bit better this morning after a night's sleep? Sending a hug

@ComebackQueen I am so sorry that happened to you- that is devastatingly nasty. You're undoubtedly better off without someone that toxic in your life. I am so stunned that people even behave like this...!

@eloiseislost I have horrible thoughts too 🙁 another close friend already had one baby, started trying at the same time as us, got pregnant straight away but had an early loss, but then got pregnant straight away after that and her baby is already two months old! I can't believe it and we've not had a single bfp. I would never wish a miscarriage in anyway on anyone ever, but can't believe they've been through so much in the same amount of time and we've not achieved anything 🥺 it's not a competition and not comparable but I feel like I'm never ever getting pregnant. I'm having lots of EWCM today and feeling hopeless. I'm sure I get that around this time every cycle 😢 I think really we just need to get hubby's sperm tested so that will be what we do in the new year.

@MrsKin90 I so totally get you!!! I couldn't get out of bed for 2 days straight when my best friend of 25 years announced she's pregnant back in June. And we hadn't even started TTC then!! She gave birth the day of my miscarriage. Life has a very cruel sense of humour…! I love her to bits but I had so many dark thoughts, I hated myself. She had an abortion at 14 weeks in her early twenties because she wasn't ready, with the man she eventually had this baby with. And while I am pro-choice 110%, there was a bitter, horrible part of me that thought "it's not fair, she gets what she wants, when she wants it and here I am bleeding out my first and very wanted pregnancy". I hate myself even typing this but I hope it helps you feel better about how you feel right now. Sending virtual hugs 🤗

@ComebackQueen Your friend sounds toxic and her behaviour is not a reflection on you. Sometimes things like these in the long term are for the best. You got rid of someone who never deserved your kindness and friendship!

@ComebackQueen that's truly awful of your "friend". I can't understand that. Surely she'd have wanted to share the joy with you in that situation after you basically being part of her journey? I wonder if you were the only person who knew she'd has IVF and she wanted everyone to think it was unassisted conception?! I know you can't know these things but I'd have had to ask her why she was such a donkey about it. Bless you for being such a lush friend.

Thank you ladies for your kindness, it really does help to let it out and have people be so understanding.
"This too shall pass" will be my mantra for a few days! Today has been a bit of a shit storm for bad news and I've had more than enough and might go to bed 😂 nothing can get you once you go to bed, isn't that the rule???

I keep saying to myself that if she wasn't pregnant I still wouldn't be pregnant so it makes no difference to my journey but fucking hell my heart aches. She also said (non judgmentally with no idea we've been trying for a while or at all) "it's now or never as we're getting too old". She's the same age as me 😭 I've felt sick to my stomach ever since and can't get warm lol I think "pregnancy envy" is an actual illness and I should be entitled to sick time off of work!!

@ComebackQueen ah that's awful to hear that she treated you that way!

@MrsKin90 I echo @Bizawit and @ComebackQueen it's perfectly acceptable to get upset. My favourite saying is "this too shall pass" It may not feel like it right now, it may take a few days, or it may take longer, but one day, you won't feel like this. Its important too not to be in a rush to get past the feelings you have. They're perfectly valid emotions, that need to run their course. I've mentioned this before, but a hearty shower cry is one I can personally recommend...! 🙂

@MrsKin90 Oh no so sorry to hear this :(. All I can say is your feelings are totally valid, and natural and understandable and you should allow yourself them. Just have a good cry if you need to 😢😢.

@ComebackQueen omg how utterly awful and hurtful 😡. So sorry you had to go through that.

Amazing news on your referral though!! Congratulations 🎊 🎉 and a great way to start 2021.

@Birchybirch ahhhh I’m moving to Manchester then!

You’re definitely right about the postcode lottery it’s so unfair, I only have access to one cycle and my friend slightly down the road (well 15mins away) has three cycles.

Fingers crossed we get our appointments soon, you never know, we might even by cycle buddies lol.

Oh no @MrsKin90 this may not be any consolation but this too shall pass.

Your friend is lovely and just know you’ll be announcing something special soon.

To make you feel better about your friend telling you, here is the complete opposite end.

I don’t have many friends since university I have one friend in the true sense of the word only.

Said friend who was struggling with infertility told me everything and I mean everything about her inability to sustain a pregnancy. I held her hand through three miscarriages and emotionally and financially invested in her. I was silly enough to pay for her to have spa days, massages, got a mutual friend to give her heavily discounted reiki.

Because of the multiple miscarriages she was told by GP she had to do ivf.

When I asked her about a year later how she was progressing with ivf, after her just being really distant with me and no longer meeting up or being how she was - she said she’s not doing ivf and leaving it to God.

I noticed she no longer had snap or IG stories up that I could see, so assumed at our age (very late 30s) she had given up that.
She didn’t want to meet up because she was busy with her family. Also I only had IG because my niece set me up and I am not really too familiar with it besides knowing how to upload a pic.

Something wasn’t adding up so my niece who’s 21 has IG and my friends profile was public, she searches her name and there’s a story, but from my phone it’s nothing.
We view it from hers and it’s nothing besides her showing food but that set off my feeling she’s definitely avoiding me.
My niece the social media stalker that she is, looks at pictures she was tagged into IG and there’s pics of her and a bump at various meet ups and baby showers.

I think said friend must have realised that my niece has seen her story because a few weeks later she texts she’s pregnant and due in a few weeks.

When I tell you the bitterness, resentment and hurt I felt, you’ll never believe.

I still hate her to this day, not because she got her baby but because I was only a friend when I was in the late 30s barren club and once she got her baby, she was finally able to live the life with her other friends as a yummy mummy.

Someone has just announced their pregnancy to me and I'm torn between a dead feeling inside and crying my eyes out. I've know this person my whole life and they've told me early and in person because they're lovely and this is their second.
Does anyone have anything inspiringly helpful to say? Maybe I just need to cry it out? I'll definitely feel better about it tomorrow won't I? I currently have a very dramatic "I can't go on" feeling which is very over the top I know 😩

@ComebackQueen hi, no I'm in Manchester, so maybe it's a bit different up here (ha, isn't it always!?) I hate that though, depending on where you live, depends on the timescales/levels of care people receive. Proper postcode lottery!

The doc did say that normally they didn't want to know until it had been 12m, but for us SI-ers he'd push the referral through now at 6m as we're already having to do things somewhat differently to "normal". Before I mentioned SI he was going to have me booked in for bloods in the next month or two, but that would have been in the surgery, rather than at a specialist fertility clinic.

It could be that I get the letter, and I'm part of a veeeeery long queue as the doctors are referring people too easily, or maybe not. Will see what it says - apparently I'm to phone again if I've not heard by the end of Jan x

@Birchybirch

Sorry for prying but my text specifically from my surgery asks me to wait three months before following up. Are you in London by any chance? The discrepancy between even receiving a letter is bemusing.

I don’t know if my surgery are just being overly cautious knowing how stretched the NHS is or that’s genuinely the hospitals wait time for sending out a letter.

Also, so many questions but reading some online reviews on our fertility clinic they don’t get involved in IUI/IVF so is this just an appointment for fact finding and then my GP will then be asked to refer elsewhere?

I read somewhere that someone with vaginismus was referred straight to the imperial trust fertility clinic and didn’t need to go via a local hospital which inevitably delays the process.
Now I’m super confused, note to self, stop bloody googling it.

@Birchybirch and @ComebackQueen hooray for your referrals being made 😊 it's good to know you're on the path for some help and hopefully the wait isn't too long or you get BFPs whilst you're waiting! I work for the NHS and moan about it all the time 😂 it isn't perfect!

@primrosechill 6dpo already! The next few days will hopefully fly by in a flurry of food and wrapping paper and it'll be almost time to test before you know it! Goodluck with not testing, but no beating yourself up if you give in. You're only human!

@Nej1983 tier 5 😬 what a lovely thing to look forward to over the Christmas period.

@Oilyoilyoilgob I'm glad you enjoyed your massage and had a lovely relaxing time! I did go for my spa day 😊 I don't relax when I have a proper massage because I'm too highly strung, so I had a facial and used the sauna and jacuzzi and had a nice swim. I always get a therapist that wants to talk to me for the whole hour and I'm never brave enough to ask them stfu so it wasn't a mindful time. 😂 And this morning my whole face is one red rash 😱 I know facials bring out blemishes over the few days after you have them, but this is crazy! so I do wonder if I've had some sort of reaction to the sugar scrub.
I'm sure any potential eggo would be fine anyway as they're so protected so don't worry about that! I just made sure to drink lots of water to stay cool and hydrated. 🤷

For everyone in the tww - goodluck and fingers crossed!! 😊 hopefully Christmas provides a good distraction and helps it go quickly.

10dpo for me today. Nothing to report! Other than I am absolutely shattered. That's not tww related, but felt I should share 😂 I slept really well so can only think I had too much of a fun day yesterday and need a day off to recover! 🥱😴

@ComebackQueen what brilliant news for you in time for Christmas! You must be so happy
And it’s great you’re seeing any waiting time as an opportunity to sort diet and wellbeing out. Wishing you all the best with it!

Eeeek @Nej1983 that all sounds a bit rubbish! Are you in the ROI? I dread to think what the situation will be here inEngland when they move us up to Tier 5! Tier 4 feels bad enough. I hope you still have a lovely Christmas despite restrictions.
@Bizawit yes I’m on either 2 or 3dpo as cAnt quite pin point exact day of ovulation this month as I had sharp cramps ongoing across 2 days rather than my usual 1. Christmas is proving a good distraction though and I’m going to try not to symptom spot and drive myself mad this time (inevitably I will crack and start though

@primrosechill

Nothing has really worked for me with vaginismus mainly due the shame and unwillingness to admit I had a problem. I do have an incident as well from when I was 19 that has also affected me and I didn’t really equate the two but I have consulted an online sexual therapist and that was one thing unconsciously contributing to my issues. I have tried, tentatively dilating but tbh I’m really scared when I see the little thing and it’s tiny! But whilst I have such a long wait I’ll be dilating or trying and at least when I eventually get around to using my little syringe, I’ll get more comfortable.
Botox and a vaginismus camp, especially the latter really appeal to me though. Do you have anymore more information on the camp?

Your husband definitely has better results than mine his morphology count is 1 and I suspect that was being generous?!
He also has high white cells due to the inflammation around his varicocele but his gp is so uninterested in it and just shrugs most of it off and say ‘let your wife’s gp refer you as they can recommend things for you, that we can not’.

Hope everything went well in your quest for baby making and baby dust to you and Merry Christmas.

GOOD MORNING.

I received a text message at 07.24 this morning from my surgery confirming a referral was made to the waitlist at my local hospital’s fertility unit but due to CoVid19 do not follow up directly with them until three months have passed for an appointment LETTER.

Tbh this is was the best Christmas present, under these circumstances l, that I could have wished for in 2020.

Thank you @MrsKin90MrsKin90 for giving me the push to chase and the lovely words as always.

At least I know I’m officially on the waiting list and, even though I’m anticipating a long wait, I’m officially on my way for assisted conception, hooray.

I’ve seen on this board that some people have waited almost two years since their initial referral to been given a treatment date. I’m going to use this long time to start seriously on my diet, well being and mental health.
I need to start with giving up sugar and trying to regulate my periods...!!!

Thank you @eloiseislost I feel better and felt like a horrible person with tunnel vision especially knowing how over stretched the NHS is at the moment. Please do, especially stay safe as you work within the health service, you all do such a wonderful job and i know we(me) like to moan about the wait times for most things on the NHS at least we have the opportunity to receive treatment free at point of use.
Hopefully this month is the one for you, fingers crossed.

Thank you again fir Such kind and encouraging words and I wish all the baby dust to all you wonderful people on this board.

I think I’ve rambled on far too much this early in the morning and as today is the start of my Christmas break, may I take this opportunity to wish you all a Merry Christmas, and lots and lots of baby dust in 2021.

May we all stay safe and sane

Level 5 is full lockdown country wide.
No inter county travel from midnight on 26th
Only 2 house hold can visit from dec 26th No visitors to the house at all from Jan 1st
Pubs restaurants beauticians & hairdressers etc closed from 3pm Xmas Eve

@Makingnumber2 well let’s see if I actually manage stick to it 😂 , but that’s the plan. Thanks so much for the well wishes ❤️. Have you started your 2ww yet?

@Nej1983 oh no - what’s level 5? 😱

@Oilyoilyoilgob I’m so jealous of your facial and massage. We are heading back into level 5 here on Thursday and I can’t get an appointment for love or money.

It’s mad that so many of us are in the two week wait at the same time. I’m refusing to test and I’m going to try not to symptom spot as I’ve driven myself mental the last two cycles googling every twinge!

Fingers crossed 2021 brings loads of baby dust

That’s a very restrained and eminently sensible plan! I am in awe of your restraint. I think you’re right though- you don’t want to dampen Xmas by testing and it being BFN.
I really really hope AF stays away and it’s a BFP to extend the Christmas joy a little longer when you do decide to test

@Makingnumber2 ahh thanks so much for sharing your experience. Looking for all the false hope I can get over here 😂. That’s interesting that your pains lasted a few weeks. My friend was suggesting it could be implantation pains, but I’m 14dpo so was assuming too late for that..
I think I’m going to avoid testing- as silly as it sounds I don’t want to ruin chirstmas. Soo I think I will wait and IF af doesn’t come, test after Christmas 🤞🏻.

@Bizawit great news no AF yet! Without wanting to sow false hope, one of my earliest symptoms with #1 was sharp pains on one side only very soon after I had my BFP at 11DPO- sent me into a spiral of anxiety that it was sign of an ectopic pregnancy. Had pains on and off like that for a good few weeks. Really hope it is a bfp-when are you testing?