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Conception

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Wanting to start a family but scared of being judged

105 replies

Dex1521 · 31/10/2020 08:19

Hi everyone, me and my fiancé are wanting to start TTC and have a family as there is an age gap of 19 years between us (he's 41 im 22) and so my other half wants to start now (and so do I as I feel ready), however im scared of being judged for being a "young mum".
Im 22 however im much more mature than my age, ive graduated from university and have a full time job, we also are buying a house in the new year and we are engaged but I know there is a lot of stigma around being young and pregnant. The baby would be born into a financially stable loving family, I know my sister will be over the moon but I have very old fashioned and opinionated mum and auntie and I feel if I dont have their support its going to be really hard for me. We have also moved to England from NI, reason im mentioning this is I dont really have the support circle of friends either as they live all over the UK so my mum and auntie are important too me.

Any advice please and would be interesting to know your opinions on young mums too. Thanks x

OP posts:
anotherboyontheway · 31/10/2020 08:31

I'm 22 and expecting my second, engaged to the dad of both my babies and own our own place...would of been married but corona ruined that🙄😂 best thing I have ever done! Good luck x

Dex1521 · 31/10/2020 08:29

Thats a really good idea, I've only been off my mini pill for a week (on Tuesday) so its still very early days but would definitely love to meet others mums. Thank you for your kind reply definitely given me peace of mind x

OP posts:
RhymesWithOrange · 31/10/2020 08:25

If you are planning to give up your job or even go part time then get married first. You have no financial protection otherwise.

AMS19 · 31/10/2020 08:25

Hi @Dex1521 I would never judge a 22 year old on having a baby. When you say young I think of a 16 year old.

Firstly, who cares what other people think. Secondly, with your family, whose opinion does matter, if they understand it was totally planned and felt right i am sure they will come around. And once a baby is here I have no doubt they will love it so much they could never feel negativity towards your choices.

Make sure you find local mums to be in your area so you have a great support network. There are probably people on here that live right around the corner!

Follow your heart. Life is too short ❤

FippertyGibbett · 31/10/2020 08:23

You are not a child , you are an independent adult. It’s nobody’s business but you and your partners.
They may kick off to begin with but you are expecting it, and they will soon come round.
Good luck.
And you are an old mum compared to those pregnant in high school 😉